In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

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Thad
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Thad » Mon Mar 23, 2015 1:45 pm

I'm sure I wouldn't have left GoDaddy if I'd been full-time and had benefits. But the full-timers were even more fucking miserable than we were. Because they were salaried employees and constantly had to put in unpaid overtime.

It bears repeating that GoDaddy is, for a lot of people, a great place to work, and consistently ranks very highly in employee satisfaction surveys. But the web design team was among the lowest departments in employee satisfaction.

Like, I knew dudes who'd moved there from sales and expressed regret that they hadn't stayed in sales, where they made better money due to bonuses.

(There was talk about implementing a bonus structure in the web design department, and maybe they eventually did, after I got out of there. My thinking was that it was a spectacularly wrongheaded idea, one more way of encouraging quantity over quality, which could have been the fucking department motto.)

The snake oil business, by contrast? I got better pay (though no benefits), fewer hours in a work week, a more relaxed environment (where I got to occasionally bring my dog to work), less pressure, an opportunity to use actual PHP instead of being stuck with GoDaddy's Website Builder, and management who listened to me and respected what I had to say. I'm pretty fucking unhappy with my unemployment situation, and I do believe if they ever offered me my job back I would have words with them about the legal definition of contractor ("I'll be happy to be a contractor if that's what you want, but that means you have to let me show up when I want, leave when I want, and not clock in or out"). But between them and going back to the Design Team at GoDaddy, I think the snake oil job would be the better choice for my health.

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Sharkey
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Sharkey » Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:26 pm

The world was ending, so the Des and I decided to pop back to 1961 and live out the rest of our lives from there forward. It seemed best to stick to the relative comfort of the post-war 20th century, and we really didn't want to go back much further than that just on account of things would be even shittier for her. Hell, our relationship was still a felony in half the country and it'd be another six years before Loving v. Virginia, but it seemed like a good enough compromise. We wouldn't have to worry about catching back up with the apocalypse unless we lived much past 90, and we'd have a lot of neat history to (re)live through. Depending on how The Time Travel Rules work we could hang out with our grandparents, invest in some stocks, invent a bunch of stuff early, write our favorite books... you know. Shenanigans. It was mostly just a matter of finding out how much we could change the world, and then deciding if we even should. Maybe it'd be best to just lay low and live a good life, even if we didn't have to worry about the universe delivering a paradox slapdown. It'd be hard to live with the guilt of every murder, war, famine and genocide you didn't try to prevent, but even if the rules permitted it you might not be able to, anyway. A lot of those could well be an example of the falling problem.

At some point our housekeeper figured out what was going on. I guess Des and I slipped up with the foreknowledge a bit. Probably in a hundred little ways. Using bits of slang and uncommon turns of phrase before they become commonplace months or years later. Foreshadowing slip-ups when discussing current events. Imagine trying not to let it show on your face when you know Kennedy is getting shot that afternoon.

She told me she first suspected something while cleaning my typewriter. I'd brought an old IBM Selectric back with me. I need to write, and it was the most convenient thing available that I could use in the open, unlike any modern technology that would have to be carefully hidden away. I guess I was sentimental in taking my old one along instead of acquiring a mint machine on the new timeline. Maybe she didn't notice right away that what should have been a brand new, whiz-bang piece of hardware was uncharacteristically worn and grimy from a half-century of use, but I imagine it'd be the kind of thing that'd stick in the back of your mind until you realized something was wrong.

So we told her everything: That the world was dying and we came back to just live a normal life safely hidden in the past. I guess her assumption was a reasonable one for the time. "They did it. They blew it up." "Those maniacs. But no, the nukes don't drop. Never happens. Against all odds, we actually get through that okay." "But what... how?"

So I told her about the oceans, and how their acidity hit a crucial tipping point. Decalcification killed off the corals and shellfish, and nearly everything else started following soon after. In a few generations the extinction event would rival the Great Dying of the Permian, but a top-heavy civilization would collapse long before then. Blah blah, Al Gore, etc. But if you can't convince people to stop burning coal now, you sure as hell aren't going to manage it in 1961.

It was one of those weirdly detailed dreams. I could probably draw out the floor plan of the house we were living in. The dream itself was mostly just us having that conversation with the housekeeper, and the backstory was just sort of already there. No word on how we got back to 1961. Tardis? Genie wish? I guess it wasn't important. But what's really weird is that I can't remember my own fucking address, but I can apparently recall the exact year the Selectric came out while unconscious. Just... what the hell, brain?
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Caithness
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Caithness » Sun Apr 12, 2015 4:54 pm

Halfway through I wasn't sure if that was a dream or a short story you were workshopping.

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Büge
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Büge » Sun Apr 12, 2015 7:55 pm

Structure it the right way and you have yourself an M. Night Shayamalan film.

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Sharkey
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Sharkey » Sun Apr 12, 2015 10:17 pm

It was coherent enough that I probably could work it into something. Maybe time to dig out the typewriter.
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nosimpleway
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby nosimpleway » Mon May 11, 2015 11:37 am

"Wait... am I dreaming?"
"I don't think so."
"Then whose dog is that, and what is it doing here?"

Having shattered the fourth wall, I woke up.

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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Sharkey » Fri May 22, 2015 12:29 pm

Sword fighting an endless swarm of Juggalos. It was like that Crazy 88 fight, except with a relentless torrent of revolting shitclowns. Apparently I was muttering stuff like "haha jugular" and thrashing around so much in my sleep that I kicked Des in the ass. She was really annoyed until I explained the situation, then she was all "Oh, okay. That's fine then."
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François
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby François » Thu Jun 04, 2015 1:12 pm

I'm in a silent, dilapidated old church. There's a dead young woman lying on the altar; she's decomposing quickly and her skin is halfway melting off her bones. The whole place smells distinctly like excrement. I've had enough, I leave by the front doors. But they lead directly to the cemetery, only instead of gravestones there are dozens of wooden crosses, each with a partially putrefied corpse nailed to it. Men, women, children. The sky is a sickly green. I hear crows but can't see any. Everything feels dead and rotting, the earth, the stone pathway, even the air. I feel like I should do something about it, like this church was mine once. I look down at myself and see I'm wearing filthy and ragged priest robes. I can't resurrect people and I sure as hell am not digging fifty-some graves by myself. There's a rusted iron gate opposite the church door, so I force it open and leave. I don't think there's anywhere I can go but I am definitely not staying here.

For some reason I run into the Hyrule Warriors cast outside, just before I wake up.

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Brentai
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Brentai » Thu Jun 04, 2015 1:57 pm

Bloodborne crossovers are WEIRD.

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François
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby François » Fri Jun 05, 2015 3:06 pm

I was living in a strange underground brothel built in a cave. I'm pretty sure I was the cook for the little bistro area that served as the front, but I otherwise had no part at either end of the place's activities. Things were pleasant, I made good food, was friendly with the girls, and regulars were appreciative.

One day one of the girls disappeared without a trace, and apparently I was the only one who gave a shit. I tried to investigate who she was last seen with and what she had been doing, in case I could find any clues, but most people weren't talking, and those who were, clearly knew nothing. After a bit I broke into her room, a two-level rough-hewn chamber with a wooden plank floor. She had lots of reproductions of famous ancient art, but all the frames had been taken off the walls and laid on the ground. I thought I noticed a crack in the wall behind a cabinet, but woke up before I could have a closer look.

Months and months and months of not remembering any dreams whatsoever, and then two days in a row, a church and a brothel. That's some yin yang thing going on.

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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby zaratustra » Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:34 am

Me and two of my family members went to a karate class. It turns out the first requirement of learning karate is to have a death to avenge, so I volunteer. I lay down on a dais on a otherwise empty room while words on the ceiling state something like DYING IN 3.. 2.. 1

then i wake up

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Thad
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Thad » Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:36 pm

I was playing a new game that worked a bit like a cross between NES Remix and New SMB Wii. It had modified Mario 3 levels and two-player simultaneous play; player 1 was equipped with a P-wing and had the goal of grabbing a bunch of coins out of the sky, while player 2 had fire power and the goal of killing a bunch of enemies. (There was a splitscreen or something, so player 1 could comfortably fly around the top half of the level while player 2 ran along the ground.) Taking a single hit was a failure.

It occurs to me that with some refinement this could actually be a pretty great game.

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Brentai
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Brentai » Sat Jun 13, 2015 12:46 pm

For all we know it could be something you can build in Mario Maker.

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zaratustra
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby zaratustra » Sat Jun 13, 2015 5:04 pm

hmmm

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Mongrel
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Sat Jun 13, 2015 5:18 pm

I like the idea of the top and bottom half of the screen being split when the players are farther apart with the split line disappearing when they would logically be on the same screen.
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François
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby François » Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:45 pm

I know for sure I've played a game that did just that at some point but I'll be damned if I remember what it was.

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Büge
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Büge » Sat Jun 13, 2015 10:33 pm

François wrote:I know for sure I've played a game that did just that at some point but I'll be damned if I remember what it was.

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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Sat Jun 13, 2015 11:39 pm

To be honest, I suspect it's been done multiple times.
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Caithness
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Caithness » Sun Jun 14, 2015 2:45 pm

I'm pretty sure Toejam & Earl did that.

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Mothra
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mothra » Mon Jun 15, 2015 2:29 pm

Had a weird one.

I was living with my dad and my older brother again (which, for my brother, has not been the case for over a decade), in a house that was unlike any house I've ever been in. Everything was ultra-modern and white and sleek, with tons of open space.

There were also legions of secret service people milling about, hard at work, including this attractive woman who pleasantly explained everything to me in a calm, unassuming way. As the dream progressed, I realized we were all being defended against an anticipated attack of some kind, and that the woman was in fact - surprise surprise - just another guard, albeit one tasked with placating us. Dream ends with me realizing that the little tiny flying drones all around the house are each controlled by a separate pilot, remotely, somewhere off-site.

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