Oh those pet peeves

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Joxam
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Joxam » Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:08 am

That is not at ALL what you said though. Words have meaning and the words you used in your original statement are not the words you are using now.
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François
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby François » Sat Dec 05, 2015 4:02 pm

Spram wrote:
François wrote:Dude, you are clearly looking down on yourself for your own hobbies and interests.


That's true. I've been doing it my whole life. I don't know what it has to do with this though.


It colors your perception of others.

Imagine that you come in here and post about all the rogue nut-punchers in your town. You feel like you can barely get out of your house without someone in a black leotard and balaclava running up to you and punching you in the nuts. And it's not just you either, you tell us about reports of a lot of people getting randomly punched in the nuts; it's apparently a dumb fad of some sort. Some of us have been punched in the nuts before, so we can empathize with your pain.

So you say, "it feels like everywhere I go, my Rocky Mountain Oysters are being crushed by tremendous kinetic force". And then I ask, "Spram, are you punching yourself in the nuts right now?". And you answer, "yeah, I've been doing it my whole life, but I don't know what it has to do with this though".

The first step towards not feeling like your nuts are getting punched all the time everywhere, is to stop punching yourself in the nuts all the time everywhere. That's what it has to do with it. Once that's dealt with, then we can maybe do something about the external sources of nut-punching, and it's gonna be a lot easier to do that when you realize that maybe other people aren't punching you in the nuts as much as you think once you stop scrambling your own kiwis.

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Thad
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Thad » Sat Dec 05, 2015 4:49 pm

Spram wrote:I don't see what's so offensive about me saying that the majority of girls/women have been very self-conscious about not looking like nerds for a loong time.


Aha!

As Joxam said, you're actually saying something quite different there from what you said before, and I think you've actually hit on something very important and empathetic that your original statement was lacking.

Because, as much crap as you've gone through in your life for being a nerd, girls who share your interests have to deal with more.

Here's a story about a girl getting bullied for liking Star Wars. It has a happy ending -- she got the attention and support of the 501st Legion, and got to meet Weird Al -- but think of how many little girls get picked on and don't get that reassuring support of people telling them it's okay to like what they like. And of course it was harder for them before social media allowed them to find more people who shared their interests, same as it was for us.

If you've observed girls and women being self-conscious and insecure about people thinking they like things they're not "supposed to", it's probably for the same reason that you are: because other people have been unkind to them about it.

(Also, dude, if you spent as much time calling women ugly and fat IRL as you did on the messageboards over the years, then frankly I'm surprised if the worst you got in return was mockery of your hobbies. I greatly appreciate that I haven't seen you say that kinda thing lately, and I hope that you've put that kind of talk behind you. But you haven't always been a glowing example of empathy and tolerance.)

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Spram
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Spram » Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:50 am

Thad wrote:(Also, dude, if you spent as much time calling women ugly and fat IRL as you did on the messageboards over the years, then frankly I'm surprised if the worst you got in return was mockery of your hobbies. I greatly appreciate that I haven't seen you say that kinda thing lately, and I hope that you've put that kind of talk behind you. But you haven't always been a glowing example of empathy and tolerance.)


As for calling women ugly and fat in real life... I don't do that. I actually know plenty of women who fit that bill and they're good people and I treat them with respect.. I bet they would be surprised to read the crap that I've written here when I'm feeling low. Back in 2011 when I got crazy like that.. I lost all my anti-anxiety pills and stopped taking them for a short while. I didn't think it would be that bad... but I became really sick with anxiety and depression. I started getting pills again, but they took weeks/months to make their full effect. Something similar happened back in late 2003. I remember people from the pyoko forums being annoyed by the way I changed. I haven't really been happy since.

I also hate the way I look... I have a George Lucas level double chin going on that wasn't there a decade ago and it's getting bigger. I'm pretty much a hypocrite.

I'm really shy in real life in part because of the way I think. I think offensive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. If I open my mouth I will offend someone again. It's a mental illness. I'm not shy in these forums because I'm not shy with text/letters.. which has gotten me in trouble with real people plenty of times before. as with women, my shyness makes it hard to get close enough to like them for their personality.. so I stay superficial. I have actually never liked a woman because of her personality and even don't understand the concept, if we fall in love with people for their personality, wouldn't we all be bisexual? Sorry if that's stupid.

I also get obsessed when I get a crush on someone and when I'm rejected I just feel like shit. It's worse when I don't find most women attractive. I know I shouldn't blame other people but my pasty-ass Hispanic family (specially my mom's side) could be pretty racist and proud of their light skin/eyes/hair. Things they've told me when I was young made me prefer white girls (you guys know this) and that made the amount of women in the places I've lived who I found attractive pretty low. Maybe that's the reason I get obsessed with my crushes? I have made progress finding different women attractive but now I'm old, shy and unexperienced. I'm pretty much a huuge loser socially.

That's enough for now, this is super embarrassing. Sorry to derail the thread. Maybe I should print this to show to my psychologist/psychiatrist (which I should find one soon).

Anyway, thanks for calling me out on that. Despite knowing that I did it, I don't really remember how bad it was. Sorry

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Thad
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Thad » Tue Dec 08, 2015 1:44 am

Well, Spram, you're a lot braver than you think; that's a very introspective and confessional post you wrote right there. I get your point about it being a lot easier to say stuff like that on a messageboard than it is in real life, because I'm the same way, but still and all, it's tough to put yourself out there like that and I respect you a lot for being so open.

As for changing who and what you're attracted to, well, I can only speak from my own experience, but for me that's something that's just happened naturally. There have been a couple times in my life where I spent a lot of time with a woman, first as an acquaintance, and then as a friend, and eventually an attraction developed. I wasn't attracted to her physically at first, but that came later, as I got to know her.

Learning to meet a lot of women and see what develops instead of obsessing over one single woman was a hard lesson for me -- in fact, it's possible I never learned it, I just eventually found myself in a place where a woman I was pining for changed her mind and decided she'd give a shot at dating me after all. That was a little over six years ago, we're married now, and I don't have to worry about any of this shit anymore, which has made me a much happier person. I've still got plenty of stress in my life, but I'm not as lonely as I used to be.

As for physical fitness, well, if you don't have a workout regimen, try and start one. I haven't always done a good job of sticking to mine, but I've been trying; we've got an elliptical machine in the house and I try to do 45 minutes on it most days while watching an X-Files or something. (If you're working out and still gaining weight, that could be a side effect of your medication; talk to your doctor about whether it would be a good idea to adjust the dose.) Exercise isn't just good for your health, it legitimately helps you feel better.

I don't have any direct personal experience with anxiety and depression but I've known a lot of people who do. Going back to a psychologist/psychiatrist sounds like it would be a positive step, but so you know, you really do sound a lot better now than you did a few years ago.

Good luck, man.

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Thad
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Thad » Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:13 pm

Latest TV pet peeve: people not recognizing characters who should be famous.

Blacklist seems to alternate, one week to the next, between Keene and Remington's faces being splashed all over breaking news reports, and people seeing them and having no idea who they are.

Last week, during the Arrow/Flash crossover, Malcolm Merlyn showed up and all the Flash cast are like "Who's this guy?" HE'S THE GUY WHO MURDERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH AN EARTHQUAKE MACHINE TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO. THAT WOULD HAVE MADE THE NEWS. They shouldn't be all "Oh who's this guy," they should be reacting like fucking Bin Laden just walked into the room.

(Captain Lance's reaction on seeing Malcolm in this week's episode -- which was to gasp "What the hell?" while reaching for his gun -- was much more appropriate.)

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Spooky Skeleton
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Spooky Skeleton » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:28 am

People saying the following things unironically:

"hipster"
"cuck"
"sjw"
"man-child"
"beta-fag"
"alpha"
"politically correct"
"white-knight"
"dindu"
"outrage culture"

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TA
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby TA » Thu Dec 17, 2015 5:16 pm

I recently rediscovered the term "shibboleth". It means a word that itself has no real meaning, but by speaking it, the speaker identifies themselves as part of an in-group. Similar to a dog-whistle.

Half of those, I think, are shibboleths, but backwards. When someone starts talking about those rascallious SJWs, they're not saying anything, but it that informs the listener that they're never going to say anything worth listening to.
のほも is such a good word?? the concept is kind of hard to fully get across in translation, but basically it means a feeling of pure, deep, platonic affection, and i think thats beautiful

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sei
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby sei » Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:10 pm

See also: "does your house have stairs?"


Spram wrote:I think offensive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. If I open my mouth I will offend someone again. It's a mental illness.
Intrusive thoughts are normal. Are you saying (1) when you open your mouth, the negativity in them pours forth, or (2) you have intrusive thoughts about offending people?
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sei
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby sei » Sat Dec 26, 2015 1:35 am

Thad wrote:Learning to meet a lot of women and see what develops instead of obsessing over one single woman was a hard lesson
(´・ω・`)
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Friday
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Friday » Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:04 am

sei, you can't tell me you didn't once pine for NecrocoDenko
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sei
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby sei » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:49 pm

those eyes were begging me to initiate a life transfer
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Friday
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Friday » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:54 pm

but if you do that, you'll be really acting spiteful in spirit
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sei
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby sei » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:56 pm

if she didn't want to bunny thump, she wouldn't be wearing kurzick
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Thad
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Thad » Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:27 pm

You know, it's an extremely minor sin in the pantheon of sins in TV shows' depiction of computers, but it sure is annoying every time I see somebody looking at a series of ones and zeroes.

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Grath
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Grath » Wed Jan 27, 2016 12:46 pm

Thad wrote:You know, it's an extremely minor sin in the pantheon of sins in TV shows' depiction of computers, but it sure is annoying every time I see somebody looking at a series of ones and zeroes.

You should watch Mr. Robot, they actually consulted a programmer about their hacking. It's still a bit buzzword-y and Hollywood-esque, but it's TOR, zero-days, etc instead of "Dark web" and "I'll write a GUI in Visual Basic to track their IP" and "we're being hacked, but by having TWO computer nerds type on the same keyboard they can out-hack the hacker!"

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Thad
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Thad » Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:03 pm

Yeah, I got most of the way through the season but haven't finished it yet. There are a couple of gaffes (paranoid people don't use Google), but it's as solid a depiction of the way computers actually work as I've seen in recent memory.

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Mongrel
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Mongrel » Wed Feb 10, 2016 12:41 am

I am having one of those days where I just feel like absolutely everywhere I go on the internet except here and the minis board run by crazy Germans is populated entirely by white, male sperglords with no capacity to communicate like a normal fucking human being (and even then people are folksy on the German board because Germans live up to the stereotype of Ve Must Haff Ordnung! and flat-out banned all off-topic discussion years ago).

This isn't even based on any of my own interactions, just watching other people fail to communicate all day, my god, sometimes I just can't stand it. I feel like if any of these communities were grouped in person, I would be running away screaming. Or be blinded by so many pasty bellies.
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Sharkey
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Sharkey » Sun Feb 28, 2016 8:53 pm

Downtown is a maze of one way streets with woefully inadequate parking and your solution is a "No Cruising" ordinance? I'm pretty sure city planning in Portland is just one complete asshole playing Roller Coaster Tycoon.

I hate to join in on the whole "fuck the baby boomers" circlejerk, but those are recent ordinances, ostensibly put in place to keep kids from driving through town a bunch for no reason, and were passed by the generation that invented the fucking pastime. Which is pretty much a drop in the bucket of the stuff they did as kids that they'd deem unacceptable or illegal for everyone else. I love my parents, but as a demographic I'm glad the rest of those hypocritical motherfuckers are finally starting to die off.

Man, I'm glad Generation X or whateverthefuck cohort I'm supposed to belong to will never do shit like that. Right.
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Mongrel
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Re: Oh those pet peeves

Postby Mongrel » Sun Feb 28, 2016 9:15 pm

Well, I'm pretty sure I won't sit on my porch and tell you to get off my lawn. But that's because I have neither lawn nor porch.
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