Spam Bam Thank You Mam

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François
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby François » Tue Mar 14, 2017 9:05 pm

The sentence "I'm sorry, your depression is in another castle" comes to mind but I can't imagine a scenario where Bowser keeps stealing Mario's depression and Mario keeps trying to get it back.

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Thad
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Thad » Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:57 am

From: Trending News
Subject: Shocking News: Megyn Kelly has abruptly exited Fox News!


I'm...honestly kind of curious how that even works. If you're scraping headlines to try and get somebody to open an e-mail with "shocking news" in it, shouldn't it be, like...trivially simple to write a scraper that only scans the homepage of whatever news site it's grabbing shit from? It seems like writing a spambot to scan headlines from a year and a half ago would actually be harder than writing one that just scans current ones.

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mharr
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby mharr » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:01 am

I'm thinking that when you buy a job lot of verified emails, some traders will throw in a table of pre-generated spam as a bonus, maybe with some metrics on success rates and demographics.

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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Thad » Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:27 am

Yeah, I guess I can see it as some kind of A/B testing thing. Or a local file to fall back on in case the scraper stops working (gets IP-blocked by the website it's scraping or whatever).

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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Mothra » Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:53 am

Subject:
U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY

Body:
ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY

I HOPE THIS MAIL FINDS YOU IN GOOD SPIRIT AND IN GOOD HEALTH? BECAUSE I AM QUITE AWARE OF YOUR LOSSES IN THE PAST YEARS NOW, IT MAY SURPRISE YOU THAT I AM ALSO AWARE OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX PURSUIT IN BENIN GHANA TOGO NIGERIA SPAIN FRANCE MALAYSIA INDONESIA CHINA AND KOREA .MY NAME IS KIRSTJEN MICHELE NIELSEN,THE SECRETARY OF U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY OF AMERICA , AM IN CHARGE TO MONITORED ALL FOREIGN TRANSACTIONS IN AFRICA EUROPE AND ASIA.

I HAVE BEEN IN THE U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY NOW SINCE THE GOVERNMENT OF PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, MONITORING THE VARIOUS TRANSACTIONS GOING ON IN AFRICA, EUROPE AND ASIA, MOST ESPECIALLY CONSIGNMENTS CASES AND BANK TRANSFER. I DO NOT INTEND TO SPOIL YOUR DAY OR TO PUT YOU UNDER DURESS.

BUT YOU CAN NOT RECEIVE ANY OF YOUR CONSIGNMENTS BOX PURSUIT, WITHOUT A CLEARANCE FROM THE U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY.HOWEVER, UPON MY ARRIVAL IN BENIN REPUBLIC AFTER SERIES OF MEETINGS WITH OUR PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP AND UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY GENERAL BAN KI-MOON, DUE TO NUMEROUS COMPLAINS FROM OTHER SECURITY AGENCIES FROM AFRICA ASIA, EUROPE, OCEANIA, ANTARCTICA,SOUTH AMERICA AND THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA RESPECTIVELY, AGAINST THE BENIN GOVERNMENT AND NIGERIA OVER THE RATE OF SCAM/FRAUDULENT ACTIVITIES GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY AND AFRICA.

WHEN I ARRIVE IN THE BENIN PARLIAMENT IN COTONOU, I FOUND YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX CLEARANCE FILE LYING ON THE FOREIGN AFFAIR OFFICE DESK WITHOUT ANY ATTENTION ON A THOROUGH SCRUTINY I DISCOVERED THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT HAVE BEEN ABANDONED BY YOUR DELIVERY AGENT. MEANWHILE, I WAS MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THEY HAVE TRY TO REACH YOU, BUT NO WAY AND THEY HAVE MADE SEVERAL ATTEMPTS TO CONTACT YOUR DELIVERY AGENT BUT TO NO AVAIL.

TO MY GREATEST SURPRISE, DURING MY RECENT ROUTINE RE-CHECKING, I PERSONALLY DISCOVERED THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT CONTENT DECLARATION DOCUMENTS STATED THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT CONTAINS PERSONAL EFFECTS MEANWHILE, IT CONTAINS UNITED STATES DOLLAR BILLS WORTH OVER US$10.5MILLION DOLLARS, WHICH MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE CONSIGNMENT TO BE DELIVERED TO YOU EARLIER BEFORE NOW.

BASED ON THIS PERSONAL DISCOVERY, I AM CONTACTING YOU NOW TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WITH MY POSITION AND POWER AS THE SECRETARY OF U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, I CAN ASSIST YOU TO LEGALLY CLEAR YOUR CONSIGNMENT FUND, BUT YOU MUST AGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS. BECAUSE I HAVE CALLED OUR OFFICE IN WASHINGTON,DC FROM BENIN, WHO HAS BEEN INTERCEPTING ALL YOUR TELEPHONE CALLS, WITH THE HELP OF MTN, TIGO VODAFONE AND AIRTEL NETWORK BENIN.

I ALSO RECEIVED SOME INFORMATION FROM OUR HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICE IN BENIN REPUBLIC, ABOUT YOUR EMAILS, THAT YOU HAVE BEEN DEALING AND SENDING MONEY TO PEOPLES IN BENIN GHANA SOUTH AFRICA TOGO AND NIGERIA , WHO CLAIMS TO BE THE WESTERN UNION DIRECTOR. YOU ARE ALSO DEALING WITH A BANK, AND OTHER NAMES WHICH I AM STILL WAITING TO BE FORWARDED TO ME FROM OUR OFFICE IN WASHINGTON,DC. WHO HAVE MONITORED ALL YOUR DEALINGS WITH THIS HOODLUM.

YOU ARE ADVICE TO HENCE FORT STOP FURTHER DEALINGS WITH ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED PEOPLE, UNTIL WE COMPLETE OUR INVESTIGATION. BECAUSE YOUR DEALING WITH THEM IS TERMED AS ILLEGAL TRANSACTION.

I WISH TO INFORM THAT WE THE HOMELAND SECURITY IS ON LOOK OUT FOR ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED NAME, MOSTLY THOSE WHO CLAIMS TO BE THE DIRECTOR OF WEST AFRICAN DEBT WESTERN UNION AND MONEY GRAM AND PROPERTY RECOVERY BENIN. ALL THIS MENTIONED PEOPLE ARE IMPOSTOR, AND WE INTEND TO APPREHEND THEM SOON.

I WANT YOU TO PLEASE STOP COMMUNICATING, AND DEALING WITH THEM UNTIL WE COMPLETE OUR INVESTIGATION. I WISH TO NOTIFY YOU ABOUT THE LATEST DEVELOPMENT CONCERNING YOUR BOX OF CONSIGNMENT THAT WAS HANDLE OVER TO ME AFTER THE MEETING HELD BETWEEN ME AND SOME OF THE TOP PARLIAMENT MEMBERS OF BENIN AND THE FOREIGN AFFAIR MINSTER IN THE BENIN CAPITAL HEADQUARTERS COTONOU, DUE TO THE DELAY FOR YOU NOT HAVE RECEIVED YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX FOR LONG TIME NOW.

ACCORDINGLY, WE HAVE WAIVED AWAY ALL YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX CLEARANCE FEES AND AUTHORIZED THE GOVERNMENT OF BENIN REPUBLIC TO ALLOW ME FLY WITH THIS YOUR APPROVED CONSIGNMENT BOX TO YOU WITHOUT ANY DELAY WHICH THEY HAVE AGREED. THE ONLY FEE YOU WILL PAY TO CONFIRM YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX RECEIVED IN YOUR POSSESSION IS THE WEIGHT FEE OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX WHICH IS SUM OF $298.00 ONLY.

IN ORDER WORDS YOUR BOX IS WITH ME NOW AND I SHALL BE COMING TO YOUR COUNTRY AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU AND I WILL BE COMING ALONG WITH YOUR BOX OF CONSIGNMENT,BUT REMEMBER THAT AS THE SECRETARY OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, I AM A US GOVERNMENT SECURITY AGENT AND I HAVE THE POWER TO GO THROUGH ANY AIRPORT CUSTOMS WITHOUT INSPECTING WHAT I CARRY ALONG.

AND AS SOON AS I ARRIVE IN YOUR STATE I WILL GIVE YOU A PHONE CALL FOR YOU TO GIVE ME DIRECTION TO YOUR HOME ADDRESS SO THAT WE CAN MEET FACE TO FACE AND HAND OVER YOUR BOX TO YOU BEFORE PROCEEDING BACK TO THE STATES. SO I WANT YOU TO RE-CONFIRM TO ME THE BELOW INFORMATION FOR PROPER UNDERSTANDING BY FILLING THE ATTACH HOMELAND SECURITY REGISTRATION FORM OKAY.

Your Name...........................................
Your home address.............................
Your current cell phone number..................
Your nearest airport.............................
Your Zip Code................................
Your ID/Drivers License..................

AS SOON AS I ARRIVE I SHALL CALL YOU ON YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER THEN MEET YOU IN PERSON AND HAND OVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX TO YOU BEFORE I RETURN BACK TO WASHINGTON DC.

I HAVE TAKEN THIS ASSIGNMENT UPON MYSELF BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE REALLY PAID SO MUCH ON THE COST OF DELIVERY, BUT NOTHING WAS RECEIVED BY YOU. SO BE ADVICE TO CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY YOU GET THIS EMAIL NOW BECAUSE EVERY THING HAS BEEN DONE OK. THIS IS DIRECTLY FROM OUR PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP.

ONCE YOU SEND THE MONEY, TRY TO NOTIFY ME WITH THE MTCN FOR EASY PICK UP AND FOR IMMEDIATE ACTION ON THE DELIVERY OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX,FOR YOU TO RECEIVE YOUR INHERITED FUNDS WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY AGAIN . SINCE YOU WAS UNABLE TO RECEIVE IT SINCE .SEND THE FEE VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.

Receiver's Name: ( JERRY ADE )
Country:. . Benin Republic
City:. . . .Cotonou
......................................................
MTCN:. . . . . . .
SENDER ' s NAME:.
SENDER ' S ADDRESS:. . .

AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE FEE MAKE SURE YOU SEND ME THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.ONCE YOU SEND THE MONEY, TRY TO NOTIFY ME WITH THE MTCN FOR CONFIRMATION AND FOR IMMEDIATE ACTION ON THE HANDLING OVER OF YOUR FUND TO YOU.ALSO YOU ARE TO FORWARD TO US ANY MAIL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN RECEIVING FROM PEOPLE FOR PROPER VERIFICATION AND INVESTIGATION BEFORE YOU DEAL WITH THEM OKAY.

I HAVE A VERY LIMITED TIME TO STAY HERE SO I WOULD LIKE YOU TO URGENTLY RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE WITH THE PAYMENT , MY DEAR, THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU AND HAVE TO COMPLY AND YOUR BOX SHALL BE DELIVER TO YOUR DESIGNATED ADDRESS.BUT REMEMBER THAT AFTER (3 DAYS) YOU DID NOT MAKE THE PAYMENT THEN I WILL DIVERT YOUR FUNDS TO US GOVERNMENT FUND OR BENIN GOVERNMENT TREASURY. PLEASE TREAT THIS AS MATTER OF URGENCY.

SINCERELY YOURS,

KIRSTJEN MICHELE NIELSEN
E-MAIL ADDRESS: (homeland69__@gmail.com )
PRIVATE EMAIL: (______________@secretary.net)

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Friday
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Friday » Thu Feb 14, 2019 12:29 pm

That email would have been amazing if it wasn't all caps.

Anyway A+ would read again, and 298 bucks sounds like a pretty good deal for THE SECRETARY OF U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY OF AMERICA , AM IN CHARGE TO MONITORED ALL FOREIGN TRANSACTIONS IN AFRICA EUROPE AND ASIA to personally deliver 10.5 million dollars to your street address.
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Grath
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Grath » Thu Feb 14, 2019 1:29 pm

That email address is pretty nice.

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François
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby François » Thu Feb 14, 2019 1:37 pm

I don't know, I could believe that Kirstjen Nielsen e-mails in all caps.

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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Mothra » Mon Jan 20, 2020 5:51 pm

Subject:
TREAT AS IMMEDIATE !!

Body:
Hello,

Contacting you through this medium is not with the intention to delve into your privacy without caution or distract you with my intents and purposeful endeavour. I have decided to reach you with the hope of building a relationship of trust, reliance and confidence which you will come to understand and appreciate in the near future. I am Clemant Lau .JP, Executive Director, Hong Kong Monetary Authority (HKMA). Your contact details was taken from your country's public record registry , in the quest for a last name similar to that of a late customer from my bank. He was an oil Magnate that lived in Hong Kong for about nine years. He passed on with his immediate family in a ghastly motor accident along with his family in the City Of Guangzhou in May 2009, without appointing a next of kin to his estate.

Before the above mentioned ugly catastrophe that cause his death, a lump sum deposit of $47,100,000.00 (Forty Seven Million One Hundred Thousand USD) was placed under my bank's custody for safe keeping. I want you to understand that during my bank end of year audit 2014, there was a board decision that all unclaimed fund concerning Inheritance should be declared bad claims to enable the bank to relocate itself against accumulated debts. During my responsibility, I discovered this $47.1M USD was left unclaimed ever since. On the condition that you bear the same last name with the deceased oil magnet, it has prompted me to present you as his beneficiary to apply and claim the deposit he had with my bank, to avoid the confiscation of the said funds by the authorities and returned to the treasury of the bank of Hong Kong as unclaimed proceeds of trade and deposit from late customers. Following the reasons that we operate in compliance with the Hong Kong laws, such proceeds is co!
nferred to the government’s treasury

I chose you because you share the same last name with my late client; I know you are not related but after countless efforts to locate direct relative to the late client, due to the (6) six months final notice from the Bank to find a beneficiary to the fund, and failure to meet up with this deadline means the fund will be liquidated to the Bureau as unclaimed fund.

I want you to know all phase of this transaction will be done in a legal means that would keep us far from trouble. I have access to every document that would register you as the beneficiary of the fund. My anticipated percentages for sharing shall be fair enough 50% for me, 45% for you and 5% for charity and to take care of expenditures. I await your feedback, so I can furnish you with the necessary details to get started.

Sincerely,
Clemant Lau .JP

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Mongrel
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Mongrel » Mon Jan 20, 2020 6:02 pm

That Nigerian Prince sure gets around.
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Friday
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Friday » Mon Jan 20, 2020 6:32 pm

i know giving 45% of 47million dollars to just a random guy in another country with the same last name is fucking insane but i gotta *shrug*
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Silversong » Fri Jan 31, 2020 2:56 pm

Subject: CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Attention: AOL Winner,

We are pleased to inform you that your electronic Email address has
won the sum of Three Million US Dollars ($3,000,000.00)USD from
America online lottery award ©2019. AOL is also using this opportunity
to congratulate you and say thank you for using the internet daily.
However, no tickets were sold but all email addresses were assigned to
different ticket numbers for representation and privacy.

You are required to provide the following and submit in this firm via
the email address below for guide line and proper clarification.

Beneficiary's Surname:..........
Beneficiary's First Name:......
Beneficiary's Address:........
Beneficiary's Country...........
Beneficiary's Occupation ........
Beneficiary's Phone:................
Beneficiary's Age: ..............
Beneficiary's Gender: ............
Your Winning Verification Number: AOL009US/AWP-LAX1182/019

AOL Admin / email to: sebastiannguyen4041@gmail.com
+905389132417

NOTE : Keep your winning information very confidential until you have
received your prize.

#770 Broadway New York,
NY 10003 USA,

Signed.
CEO: Tim Armstrong

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Mongrel
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Mongrel » Fri Jan 31, 2020 3:24 pm

Anything related to AOL is just automatically funny to me now.

I also like that he didn't even bother with a fake email address with some kind of "AOL" in it, nope, just some dude's name @ gmail.
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Thad
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Thad » Sun Feb 16, 2020 5:09 pm

Mongrel wrote:Anything related to AOL is just automatically funny to me now.

I also like that he didn't even bother with a fake email address with some kind of "AOL" in it, nope, just some dude's name @ gmail.

The most dated part of Frequency is the part where he tells his friend to invest in Yahoo.

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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Mongrel » Sat Apr 04, 2020 9:00 pm

Not me, but a friend (in Australia!) keeps getting email offers for "Donald Trump 2020" socks.
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Thad » Thu Apr 23, 2020 1:38 am

Got one of those "we can see you masturbating through your webcam; send us Bitcoin" e-mails.

The interesting thing about this one was that its subject line was one of my old passwords.

Now, aside from not owning a webcam, I haven't used that password in...10? 15? 20? years. It's a really old one. Like, used it on MUDs in 1997 old. Like, days of e-mailing the admin and saying "this is what I want my password to be" and just sticking it in an e-mail in the clear old.

So I'm sort of curious which of the old sites I used it on sprung a leak, but it's so old and I used it as a throwaway in so many places that had questionable infosec policies that there's no way I'll ever know which one it was.

Taking a stab in the dark, I tried using it to log into my old ZeldaClassic forum account, and it still worked there (so I changed it, and the e-mail associated with the account, which hasn't worked since the early aughts). So it could've been that. I just changed my IMDb password the other day too; I don't remember if it was that password or another old throwaway, but it could have been that one. Except that neither one of those accounts used the e-mail address that the blackmail spam was sent to, so I guess it probably wasn't one of them.

I think I've got about 100 randomized passwords stored in my password locker these days? I'm a lot less worried about someone getting access to one of them than about losing access to the locker. Hell, I'm currently locked out of my primary care doctor's patient portal because I forgot to disable 2FA before I wiped my phone. So that's gonna be a fun call. "Yes, can you disable two-factor authentication on my account on the portal? ...Okay, so two-factor authentication is when... ... ... ... ...okay, I understand, but there's no support information whatsoever on the portal. Is there any chance you can call the vendor and ask them to walk you through it? You know, when you've got some spare time in-between dealing with this whole global pandemic thing. Well look, it's either that or I call you every time I have a trivial question about my prescriptions."

Coincidentally, my current project at work is integrating a single sign-on so that users don't have to register multiple accounts at our multiple websites. And while I totally understand the utility of this, I kinda find it horrifying from a security perspective. "Oh yeah, let's encourage users to have one password that they can use to access all their accounts." It's kinda like that bit in Mostly Harmless about the executives who get around all the inconvenient red tape of having to prove their identity by just carrying a little card that has all that information on it. "Hence the Ident-i-Eeze. This encoded every single piece of information about you, your body and your life into one all-purpose machine-readable card that you could then carry around in your wallet, and therefore represented technology’s greatest triumph to date over both itself and plain common sense."

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François
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby François » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:56 am

I got one of those yesterday. I can't even remember where I used the password it mentioned. There's this website called "Have I Been Pwned?" where you can enter your e-mail address, and it checks if it's part of certain data breaches/thefts that happened in the past. Mine is on seven specific ones (including Discus and Kickstarter), and two separate collections of several thousand breaches from 2018 and 2019.

That'll probably explain the Chinese dickhead who played on my League of Legends account for years, too.

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Mazian
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Mazian » Thu Apr 23, 2020 11:18 am

The ones I get are using my old LinkedIn password. It's almost disappointing that they've all been in English lately - it used to be fun to try and figure out which language I was being extorted in. Norwegian was inexplicably popular for a few weeks.

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Thad
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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Thad » Thu Apr 23, 2020 11:37 am

Yeah, I don't think I was using this password on LinkedIn by the time the breach happened in 2012; I think I'd switched to a password locker by 2011.

But maybe I'm misremembering. The LinkedIn breach could have been the reason I finally got serious and started using a password locker.

OTOH, I'd be a little surprised if sites were still allowing passwords like this one as late as 2012. It wouldn't be accepted by most sites today; it doesn't meet length or complexity requirements.

(Insert periodic rant about how password complexity requirements are fucking terrible and have a tendency to reject actual strong passwords like K"Nb\:uO`) while letting bullshit like P@55w0rd through because look, it has a capital letter, numbers, and a symbol in it; it must be more secure than that other password that doesn't have any numbers in it.)

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Re: Spam Bam Thank You Mam

Postby Thad » Wed Apr 29, 2020 9:54 am

Got a phishing e-mail from "Internet Security." (no quotes, but with a period at the end) telling me to activate my antivirus. The link points to something at revenger.frontierpopulationsuffered.me, which if nothing else is a fascinating domain name.

The reply-to e-mail address was at scentic.roughsurfacecleaningdevices.exposed. Which is less interesting, but I learned that .exposed is an actual top-level domain. Sure, why not.

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