Rooty-tooty point and shootys

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François
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby François » Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:10 pm



Wait, what? When bad guys can't get guns, good guys don't need guns? Preposterous! Get real!

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Friday
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Friday » Wed Mar 07, 2018 5:34 pm

pfft what a pussy

that wouldn't work in America, see, because Americans aren't pussies and we'd just knife murder ya regardless of anything you tried to do to defend yourself

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Friday
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Friday » Wed Mar 07, 2018 5:51 pm

like okay in lesser countries populated by weak nancy boys who can't stop snacking on crumpets, I guess gun control can do some good

but here in America, we'd simply switch to axes if you took away our guns and the body count would actually rise because nobody would have any guns to stop them!

I mean I know it sounds unbelievable right, but that's because all the guns are suppressing the axe murder sprees

not to mention the knife murder sprees and the club murder sprees and the boomerang murder sprees and the spear murder sprees and the whips and claw weapons and javalins and uhhh bow and arrow and mana swords

anyway the point is for every gun you remove, ten americans die per second to melee murder

you're welcome

- The NRA

p.s. does anyone know where you can find the 9th gun orb
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Niku
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Niku » Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:26 pm

you have to get it before you bring back paul's career

once you hit the manafort res, there's no going back
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Friday
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Friday » Wed Mar 07, 2018 8:32 pm

I keep farming kids at schools but it's not dropping
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Mongrel
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Mongrel » Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:37 pm

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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Mongrel » Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:20 pm

The Guardian: Libertarian candidate for Michigan senate seat proposes arming homeless people with shotguns

Literally Hobo With a Shotgun.

I thought this was a parody site at first. I actually had to check twice.
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Friday
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Friday » Sat Mar 17, 2018 5:51 pm

The year is 2096. Crime has increased by 500%. Murder and rape are rampant.

A senator rises from his seat. "We have no choice," he says. "We must give guns to the animals."
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zaratustra
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby zaratustra » Sat Mar 17, 2018 6:24 pm

Mongrel wrote:The Guardian: Libertarian candidate for Michigan senate seat proposes arming homeless people with shotguns

Literally Hobo With a Shotgun.

I thought this was a parody site at first. I actually had to check twice.


well, it makes sense. homeless people are in constant danger and guns make you safer.

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Friday
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Friday » Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:23 pm

The year is 2122. The animals have retaken the planet with guns. The surviving humans huddle together in small, hidden caves around trash fires.

A senator rises from his seat. "We have no choice," he says. "We must use this time machine to travel back and give guns to the first proto-humans."

He then fades from existence.
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Friday
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Friday » Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:33 pm

The year is 2984. Humanity has been extinct, or rather, has never really existed. A time travelling/universe shifter alien fades into this phase.

"We have no choice," he says. "To prevent the humans from using time travel guns to destroy themselves, we must give guns to the guns."

Nothing changes. He looks confused.

A different alien appears. "Your plan was flawed," he states in a robotic logical voice. "I traveled back to the point guns were invented in China, and gave guns to the guns that the guns had."

Nothing changes. The second alien looks confused.

A third alien phases in. "I gave guns to only people whose names started with the letter S," he says. "And my name is Slgh'thdk." He then guns down the other two aliens, who are immediately replaced by their time-clones.

"Your plan was flawed," they state. "We gave guns to only the people whose digits in their birthdays added up to a prime number, and were also hobos. These "Hobos Prime" became a new force of Justice in the New West. All crime has been abolished."

A Hobo Prime fades in. "An alternate timeline where guns had guns that had guns that should have been destroyed has been allowed to survive," he states. "I will bring this alternate timeline Justice."

Ted Cruz fades in. "Your plan was flawed," he states. "I used a gun to kill several people in California in the 60s and 70s."

The Hobo Prime guns him down. "My time-doppelganger will endure," Cruz states as he dies. "There is even a universe/timeline where I was almost elected President."

The Hobo Prime's gun uses its gun to gun down the gun that the gun firing had. Suddenly, a bear armed with a minigun bursts into the room. "MY TIMELINE HAS BEEN ALLOWED TO SURVIVE," he bellows as he opens fire.
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Mongrel
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Mongrel » Sat Mar 24, 2018 1:41 pm

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Yoji
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Yoji » Sat Mar 24, 2018 5:44 pm

Before the student protest movements exploded like they have the past month*, I was feeling pretty nihilistic about this whole thing. Like, some yahoo proposes an insane countermeasure like arming teachers or turning schools into prisons, and I'm feeling so hopeless I just throw my hands in the air and sigh "Sure, fine, why the fuck not? Everything is terrible and Sandy Hook proved y'all care more about guns than kids. Maybe you'll see how stupid this all is when we finally hit rock bottom."

But five-gallon buckets of rocks? /shrug, everything is terrible, why the fuck not, race to rock bottom.

*Romo! When are you going to tell us about your awesome kids and the march in Long Beach?
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Mongrel
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Mongrel » Sat Mar 24, 2018 6:06 pm

Oh man Romo went to one of the marches? Yeah! I wanna hear about that too!

Also, I just want to say that whoever named this march is a fucking genius. Finally someone on the left who knows how to throw a simple gut punch.
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Yoji
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Yoji » Sun Mar 25, 2018 1:04 am

Mongrel wrote:Also, I just want to say that whoever named this march is a fucking genius. Finally someone on the left who knows how to throw a simple gut punch.


All I'm hearing about is how fantastic the turnout was. That's great, but I can't help but think "well, yeah, a lot of people are in favor of not being randomly shot to death."
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TA
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby TA » Sun Mar 25, 2018 2:13 am

のほも is such a good word?? the concept is kind of hard to fully get across in translation, but basically it means a feeling of pure, deep, platonic affection, and i think thats beautiful

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Mongrel
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Mongrel » Sun Mar 25, 2018 3:31 am


I wouldn't be too hard on them.

First of all, they're still 16-year old kids. Second, it's really more of an indication of how the NRA has corralled even the strongest gun control opponents into asking for half-measures or politicized nonsense.
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nosimpleway
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby nosimpleway » Sun Mar 25, 2018 8:05 am

I like that, after eight years of OBAMA'S GONNA TAKE YER GUNS AWAY the movement is actually Nah, The Trump Administration Should Do It

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mharr
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby mharr » Sun Mar 25, 2018 9:10 am

Neo-liberal, as in "a modified form of liberalism tending to favour free-market capitalism" ? From an outside US perspective, I don't immediately see that in their generalised request to take tools for mowing down entire crowds off the streets (via increased regulation) and increase funding for mental healthcare. It's not like an outright ban on private firearms was gonna fly. Half-measures and politicized nonsense are what democracy looks like when it's working.

My initial reaction was thank god it's more focused than Occupy. It looks like a better solution than "buckets of rocks", at least.

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Rico
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Re: Rooty-tooty point and shootys

Postby Rico » Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:38 pm

The allowing police more access to mental health records by loosening privacy controls is super fucking shitty, but also pretty understandable in a world when both political parties try to scapegoat mental illness as a major reason for mass shooting to avoid confronting that it's just angry white men.

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