Barefoot and Pregnant

[François]

Even that dumb argument is bankrupt in every way (not that i'm implying anyone here is actually making it). If a woman, any woman, regardless of age, race or attractiveness, wanders around a city butt naked and alone in the middle of the night, and is raped, it is still 100% the rapist's fault. We need to be fighting for a civilization where everyone is safe from sexual assault no matter how they look, what they wear, where they go, and what they do there. As much as that sounds like a pipe dream, it's the only goal that makes sense, and blaming victims takes us farther from it, not closer.

[Friday]

The thing that -really- gets me is when they victim blame the kid who was raped. That generally doesn't happen on a societal level, but when rape is going on in the family, it's again, common as dirt.

Can you imagine that? As a kid? Being blamed by your family for being raped?

Now realize that that scenario is more common than -not- being blamed by your family. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, and uncles and aunts everywhere, blaming the kid and sweeping the (ongoing) event(s) under the rug. For the "family." Wouldn't want to damage that image, after all.

When I talk about why I don't like human beings, it's not because of the rapists and the psychos.

[Brantly B.]

You know how people vote to give tax breaks to the fuck because they secretly believe they're going to be rich someday?

[Mongrel]

I think that part of it is that on the surface the statements do sound reasonable. They're only really horrible if you stop and think properly about the implications, if you parse out the full consequences. And people consider shit only superficially ALL the time, and it's even easier for people who may have no relationship to the victim or if they're confirming an already-held bias.

It's just one of the species' more common failure modes, I guess.

And, not to put to fine a point on it, victim blaming is one of the strongest cultural legacies of the transition to settled agriculture and the gradual loss of women's status in human society. It's almost at a genetic or instinctive level presently, though at least in this case, it might really be theoretically changeable at a cultural level. It's a massive mountain to climb though.

[atog]

You know how people vote to give tax breaks to the fuck because they secretly believe they're going to be rich someday?

Very apt typo

Usually in families covering up for child molesters, any number of the kid's relatives were also molested at some point by the rapist and they don't want to open that can of worms. It's a dynastic-level amount of festering poison. Hypocrisy is only the tip of the iceberg.

[Brantly B.]

I swear to God that was just my brain taking over.

[Mothra]

It's this kneejerk impulse of, "I know the church/college football/general society is fine as it is, from my own experience! I've never been sexually assaulted in all the years I've been a part of it. These people are doing something to invite rape, or they're lying!"

As if the very act of believing that rape could regularly happen within your culture means that you have to throw it all out the window. As if it's a clear choice between siding with the survivor, and siding with the thing the culture is built around.

They're so scared of implying that football or church or hollywood might be bad in some way that they're willing to regularly cover up rape. And holy god is that disgusting.

[Caithness]

You know how people vote to give tax breaks to the fuck because they secretly believe they're going to be rich someday?

Are you saying people who cover up/enable are secretly hoping to be rapists one day?

[Büge]

Are you saying people who cover up/enable are secretly hoping to be rapists one day?

When you’re in an abusive relationship, defending shitty men becomes second nature. It is, quite literally, a survival strategy. Admitting to yourself that you’re partnered with an abuser can be a terrifying task, so your brain finds ways to justify all the horrible abuse you’re subjected to. Your partner isn’t cruel, he just loves you enough to be brutally honest; he didn’t lie to you, you just must have misunderstood what he meant.

The more horrific your partner’s actions become, the more imperative it feels to normalize them — and the justifications become so second nature that it’s easy to extend them to your partner’s behavior with other people.

[pacobird]

we regret to inform you that sam kriss is a piece of shit

guys i'm not saying what i did was okay but we had totally boned down and what does that mean if not that you can grab her by the neck in public

[Mothra]

That was incredibly stressful to even read. Ugh.

[Mongrel]

Yeah, geez, it was like reading a horror novel.

[Mongrel]

Over at Bloomberg, Megan McArdle has a rather depressing take on the recent harassment scandals.

I don't know that I fully agree with the premise that the current spate of scandals will come to nothing - it seems we are experiencing something of a sea change in making people aware of the damage caused by harassment, even if the legal landscape doesn't change much. And she seems to ignore the "boys will be boys" aspect of past acceptance completely.

But the claims that even in eras where harassment was far more tolerated, people still knew it was wrong, or that most of the defrocked have been men whose power is waning or has already waned both seem on point.

[Mongrel]

[Friday]

You really don't want me at peak violence-arousal.

[Mongrel]

Now imaging Zorak, in a blonde wig, winking.

(and then Brent replies "That's my fetish!")

[Yoji]

"Send her a fight video and cut immediately to a dick pick, that'll woo 'em!"

I don't... the only time I've ever wooed a woman involved a fair amount of Xenogears and Bushido Blade*, but I can still authoritatively say that's not how any of this works!

*fuckin' naginata spam

[Friday]

If you have successfully wooed a woman using Xenogears, you can do anything.

[Mongrel]

I can't even take credit for wooing at all, I just followed a trail of expensive Magic cards down to Baltimore and then woke up married in Seattle.

[Brantly B.]

Pretty sure I've unwooed at least one woman using Xenogears. Does that mean I can undo anything?