Keep Wishing You Were Me, and I'll Keep Making You Have To. Let's Play Cassette Beasts!

[nosimpleway]

Music: Captain Encounter (Peaceful)
On my way through the park, I run into a person I'm looking for before I find the monster I'm looking for. I'm looking for a lot of stuff, okay?

Captain Wallace: You wanna know what really separates us from the monsters?

Cooperation? Opposable thumbs? Hygeine?

Captain Wallace: It's infrastructure! Homes, walls, running water...

I've seen a sewer outlet pipe but that does raise the question of where the clean water for everyone's plumbing is coming from.

Captain Wallace: And it's not enough to just build a community. You gotta maintain it too! A place like Harbourtown can fall apart without diligent care. I'm Wallace, one of Harbourtown's ranger captains. I oversee any building work on New Wirral.

Wallace's barks have some sort of brogue to them but I don't know enough about all the various accents in the United Kingdom to guess which one it is.

Captain Wallace: Ianthe said you're a promising fighter. I suppose you'll be wanting to take my ranger challenge?
Prompt: Are you ready to battle Captain Wallace? "Yes" / "No"

Music: Face Down
Captain Wallace: I hope your training has a strong foundation - you're gonna need to be tough if you wanna bring down my walls!


All, right, first Ranger Captain fight, let's--


ha ha


As you may have guessed from his name, his job, or the hint he threw out before the fight started, Ranger Wallace loves walls. First thing he does is throw one up to stop any further Battering Rams from getting through. (Wait, I thought the whole thing about battering rams was to break down openings in walls...?)


I set up with Call For Help, figuring it couldn't hurt. (Well, probably.) A Carniviper shows up. I'd rather have seen something earth-type, but I haven't even encountered one of those myself yet.


From the safety of his Lego shelter, Wallace starts throwing more Legos directly at the party. Brick Blast hits everyone twice for plastic-type damage. Not type-advantaged against beast, air, or poison, but it still stings.


Beating Wallace's assistant forced him to slump down, so he's out of the fight. But taking a big crompch out of Wallace's Traffikrab leaves Wallace on his feet.


Sirenade manages to spit a few more of Wallace's HP away, but I only have this one attack to wipe him out if I want to keep him from transforming into his second monster.


Meet Lobstacle. Traffikrab outgrew the traffic cone and now in need of a massive construction marker barrel instead. It's as tough as it looks, this thing's harder to hurt than Dandylion. (On account of Dandylion being a base form and Lobstacle being a remaster, it's reasonable to expect Lobstacle's stats to be better.)


The Traffikrab line might be plastic-type themselves but they are, y'know. Crabs. Water bugs. Just in case the player was better prepared than I was and brought some earth-element attacks to bury the plastic-type enemies in, Wallace throws up a water wall that an earth-type move wouldn't immediately destroy.


I have to chip away at the water wall, and once I have it down, Wallace throws up another plastic wall. But rather than let me wear away at that one, he throws it at Bansheep instead. Thankfully I managed to hit the wall a couple of times between it going up and it getting launched at my face, that could have hurt if it were at full durability.


But I've already managed to wear Lobstacle down a bit, it threw away nearly half of its own HP to make those two walls, and he just threw the second of those protective barriers at Bansheep. Another Bite and a Sonic Boom and Lobstacle drops.


Two cheevos for beating Wallace. One for beating Wallace, and one for following up on a rumored lead.


One down, eleven to go.
Wallace rewards me with a sticker for Elemental Wall, an Upgrape, and another Fused Material. The sticker for Elemental Wall is marked (Uncommon), and has an added effect: whichever monster has the sticker equipped with get +5% more experience points from fighting. The Upgrape is a purple fruit that grows upside-down, "said to grow from seeds planted on Backwards Day". I can use it to rare-candy a monster up to the next star immediately.
And finally, Wallace tells me what the Fused Materials are for: I can trade them in at HQ for "some neat stuff".

Well, let's head back to town and see.

[nosimpleway]

Music: Wherever We Are Now, lyrical version
Oh, am I interrupting something? And how did you get back here before I did?

Captain Wallace: ...I'm tellin' you, boss. This new trainee knows how to handle themselves! Me and the boys were proper impressed! I was absolutely flattened in our fight.
Leader Ianthe: It's rare to hear you so impressed by a trainee's performance, Wallace!
Captain Wallace: Well, it's not often that we do combat trials for the trainees. My usual "build a brick wall" test isn't quite as exciting to sit through... Speaking of which, my lunch break is over! I got work to do - see you later, boss!


We're not here to eavesdrop on Wallace's report, though, we're here to talk to Wilma. She explains that I can trade Fused Materials for some unique improvements, and that the more Captains I can get to stamp my card, the better the stuff she's able to offer. That Microphone Upgrade that increases my record chance against everything is tempting, but I only have two Fused Materials. I'll save up.


Headed to the Cafe to rest up I spot a guy who can share a rumor, one relevant to that quest Hoylake gave me. Another offers up a lead on an odd noise, like a "vehicle passing underground". Like a subway, maybe? I found Morgante in a subway station...


Kayleigh waxes nostalgic for stupidworld coffee shops, where they'd write the wrong name on the cup half the time. Now to be fair, I'm not sure I could spell "Kayleigh" right on my first try, but she relates that she once got "Carol". Way off.


Is that... a shadow-me?


It vanished when I got close. This might be something that got released in a content update after I played the game before, because I don't remember anything like that. Ah well, I'm sure I'll figure it out.

[nosimpleway]

Music: Cross Your Heart
There you're!


I got too impatient and tried to record before I weakened the Macabra or knocked out the Puppercut. Kayleigh got hit by both and wrecked any decent chance I had at recording it on my first try.


Naturally the thing I want to catch hides behind a wall on its second turn. Abramacabra is Macabra's unique skill, forming a wall that can Spit at the enemy team while protecting the creature behind it. I definitely need to tear that down so it can't passively plink away my record chances.


Come onnnnn


sheesh finally


#028 Macabra, a "fanged creature perched on a skull"
"The Macabra cannot see, but instead has the ability to "taste" the air around it for potential prey. It preferse to do so from a higher vantage point, and will often find a rock or animal skull to perch on whilst hunting."
If tasting is chemical analysis of what's in the mouth, determining whether a food has sugar, salt, acid, alkaloids, or glutamate, then tasting the air must be trying to get a sense for what chemicals are in the ambient air nearby. Isn't that... smelling?
Macabra's signature move is "Abramacabra", which takes 20% of the user's HP and sets up a beast-type wall. As an additional effect, the wall will attack with "Macabra Missile" on its own each turn until it's destroyed.
The inspiration: It's a chupacabra, but making it troglobitic is just that extra little quirk of design, that little extra "oomph", that was missing from so many Pal designs.


I caught the Macabra right near a barred door surrounded by buttons. There are two stones nearby I can use to weigh the switches down...


Aha, there's a third. Right behind that guy in the robe.


...oh, you're an evangelist.


Listen buddy you don't open up with unsolicited proselytizing and then transform into a monster that was just annoying the shit out of me thirty seconds ago and expect this to end well for you.


Gee Kayleigh it seems like something's bothering you.


I'm sure it's fine.

[nosimpleway]

Three rocks plus my big ol' stompy boot opens the gate.


Music: Into the Caves
Inside is more athletics puzzles...


...and someone menaced by more of those half-metal dog monsters. A few more glides across gaps and button-pushes later, and I can get up to where they are...


...only for things to get worse the instant I arrive.


Music: Like Chimeras
Hyper Southpaw immediately draws all attention to itself. Which is okay with me, it's the most dangerous thing on the field anyway. I can stand to ignore the level 3 Puppercut while I build up AP until I can hit both at once with Sonic Boom.


I swapped out Bansheep for Traffikrab before the fight, knowing that I was up against Southpaws and that Southpaws are metal-type. Traffikrab's plastic-type doesn't have advantage, but it happens to know Inflame, which does.


Hyper Southpaw follows up with Sharp Edges, so that any melee attacks that hit it reflect some of the damage back to the attacker. First a move that draws attacks, then a counter. I'm pretty sure that's smarter than any wild Pokemon battle I've ever been in, and more complex a strategy than anything a Pal can throw at me.


Good thing I swapped out my entirely-melee Bansheep for a crab that throws fire. Sirenade is fine as she is, since it's already geared for ranged combat.


ow ouch oof my cones
Copper Chop hits twice, and then Sharp Edges deals an extra contact damage hit. Traffikrab did admirably for the two turns it got, but it's time to retire it.


Fucking hell would you knock it off, Sirenade used Dodge earlier why don't you try to aim at it and waste an attack or two


Hyper Southpaw hides behind a wall, because of course it does, so I have Springheel throw status ailments at it -- Trick always causes a status ailment, but I can't pick which one it is. First one I get is an accuracy debuff, which might save me from another Copper Chop, so I'm not complaining. The next ailments I manage to land are AP Down (now that Southpaw's AP are already full) and Ranged Attack Down (on a monster that is entirely melee-focused). I am complaining about those a little.


Might as well have used Smack or Bite those last couple of turns, but I finally wear Hyper Southpaw down to 0.


Not that I'm done, that just de-fuses the monster into its component parts. But two regular Southpaws are less dangerous than one Hyper Southpaw, so it's progress.


The unfused Southpaw immediately sees Solid Snake.
Nah, the "!" is the indication of a flinch. The turn that monsters unfuse, they flinch and lose their next turn, giving me a little breather.


Since they're not able to hit me, I take a longshot and try to record one with the Chrome Tape I picked up way back when. I manage to build up a 72% chance, but it doesn't work.


Whatever, I'll just pound you into submission.


I get another Fused Material for beating up the fused monster, but more importantly, Bansheep reaches its fifth star. It can't improve any more from here.

[nosimpleway]

Rescued Person: Whew, thanks for that. I came in here looking for some sticker ideas, but I ended up getting more than I bargained for.

Me, too. That was a rough fight.

Rescued Sticker Merchant: Say... did you notice Southpaw's move "Magnet" activates automatically at the start of battle? I think I got my inspiration after all! Come see me at the market back in town. I'll have some special stickers for you!

This completes "A Little Inspiration", rewarding me with a sticker for Dog Years, a status move that extends all the status effects, good or ill, on a target.


Back to Harbourtown I go. I got the thing for Professor Hoylake, and I'll spare you his self-aggrandizing speech about how knowing about Macabra is a gigantic stride forward in monster science. Turning that in nets me another Fused Material. My next step for "On The Hunt" is to find "a floating worm creature, often spotted in the park".


You know what, random rumor guy? I probably should, yeah!


Kayleigh: I have a question for you, snalligator. It's a big one.

Here we go, some serious talk. Let's hear it.

Kayleigh: Are you ready?
Are you... a dog person or a cat person?
Prompt: "Dog person!" / "Cat person!" / "Ferret person!"

I'm a human person. I don't actually remember whether or how Kayleigh responds to various answers but I tell her I prefer doggos.

Kayleigh: A grand choice! Me too. If I get to go back to my world, I think I'd want to adopt a dog. I do a lot of walking these days, so a dog would fit that nicely, don't you think?

You can't keep secrets from me, Kayleigh. I'll get this out of you sooner or later, if for no other reason than this is a video game quest and it won't be resolved unless I resolve it myself.


Bansheep is at five stars. It can't get any stronger on its own, so it's time to remaster.
I've mentioned remastering before, so you may have already gathered what this is about. Pals don't metamorphose in any way so I skipped it all last LP, but cassette-recorded beasts "remaster" when they get strong enough. Captain Wallace had a Lobstacle, a remaster of Traffikrab. And now that Bansheep has reached five stars, I have a choice to make.
It's a valid criticism of Cassette Beasts that sometimes it poses questions to a player without context. Choosing a starter monster in the first place was one of those, and a lot of remaster paths are, too. It might not be clear what exactly happens whether the player chooses "Ascend to the Afterlife" or "Return to the Earth", you only get to find out after you've decided.
In my first game I chose "Return to the Earth", turning Bansheep into a grave-hugging zombie, and earth-type named "Zombleat". So purely to do something different, I choose "Ascend to the Heavens".


My reward is the Astral-type Wooltergeist.

#020 Wooltergeist, the "sheep-like ghost with a tired expression"
"Unlike the Bansheep, the Wooltergeist is an undead spirit that only partially manifests on the physical plane. It is said that when it is in proximity to a place where a death recently took place, the horns on its head grow sharper."
Remastering a tape resets its stars to zero, though remasters take rather more EXP to star-up than base monster species. This means Wooltergeist will get five more move stickers as it grows, including a healing move and the situationally-vital Phase Shift. Its new attacks aren't great choices, though -- it picks up Shooting Star and Zephyr, both ranged attacks, but as you can see from its stat spread it now has significantly higher Melee Attack than Ranged Attack.
The inspiration: Bansheep was alive but ghost-themed, and upon remaster can choose to become either a corporeal undead zombie or an incorporeal undead ghost. It doesn't make much sense that a recording of a living creature turned, of its own volition, into a recording of an undead creature... but people ingame keep telling me not to worry about how any of this works, so I won't.

[nosimpleway]

Wherever I Am Now:

Main Quests:
Land of Confusion: Locate Archangels to complete Morgante's song, then follow the clues it contains to find your way home. Collected 0/8 song parts.
Take Me On: Train with each of the ranger captains to become a ranger. You can find out where these captains are stationed by asking around in Harbourtown. Trained with 1/12 captains.
Acting On Your Best Behavior: Meet up with Eugene in the Outskirts.

Side Quests:
Working Overtime: Bring 300 wood to the ranger in East Harbourtown.
On the Hunt: Record a floating worm creature, often spotted in the park, to show to Hoylake.

Rumors:
Eugene: "I saw Eugene hanging out near a strange building outside of town. What is he doing out there?"
Trembling Ground: "I heard a rumor that the ground under New Wirral Park sometimes trembles as if a large vehicle is passing underground. What do you think's down there?"
Kayleigh: "I heard some rangers saying Kayleigh knows more than she lets on about those weird hooded cultists. Maybe you ought to ask her about them, huh?"

[nosimpleway]

Part 3: I Still Feel The Glow That Time Cannot Fade


Music: Cross Your Heart
Beast-type doesn't interact with much. Air interacts with fire and plant. Poison, plastic, I haven't run into many types that are all that complicated. Astral changes all that.
If an Astral move hits a fire, water, air, or earth monster, it inflicts AP Drain. Likewise, if an Astral-type monster is hit by a move of any of those four types, or another astral-type move, it inflicts AP Boost, so that monster will charge AP faster for the next three turns.
Astral moves don't do anything in particular to plastic, poison, or metal-type monsters. Plastic moves that hit an Astral monster inflict AP Drain; metal and poison moves drive astral monsters Berserk.
So I've gone from my starter monster having one type interaction with the rarest type in the game to a starter monster that interacts with eight of the fourteen monster types. It's not great that some extremely common monsters -- Traffikrabs and Carnivipers -- are plastic and poison.


#006 Carniviper, the "small masked snake"
"Despite its grinning visage, the Carniviper isn't actually a friendly creature. It is very territorial, and will attack anyone who approaches that it deems a threat... which tends to be everything and everyone."
The in-game writup for Carniviper talks about the tsuchinoko, the mythical Japanese serpent... but Carniviper doesn't really look like one of those. Or act like one of those, since tsuchinoko are evasive but Carnivipers are aggressive. Maybe it's shy and that's why it wears a mask? I dunno.
In-game, Carnivipers are Zubats. They (and their remasters) are all over the place and a favorite of hostile NPCs. They're fast, fragile, and have a fondness for causing status ailments and annoying counterattacks. They're even poison-type. Go figure.
The inspiration: I'd always assumed it was a carnivore viper, but apparently the name comes from "carnival", since it looks like it's wearing a carnival mask. Wait, are "carnival" and "carnivore" related words, or is the similarity just a little etymological quirk? *disappears into a three-hour Wikipedia crawl*


#104 Pombomb, the "fiery dog"
"Pombombs are universally considered to be one of the friendliest creatures on New Wirral. If it weren't for their habits of accidentally setting anything and everything on fire, they would make quite good pets."
Growlithe is a stalwart and loyal companion. Pombomb is hyperactive and excitable, to the point that it loses control of its own fire powers.
Pombomb's stat spread is nothing special, without any particular strengths or weaknesses. Its movepool has some unusual entries on account of it being a dog. Pombombs always have Dog Years and Sticky Tongue (weak beat-type melee hit, decreases Evasion), and soon learn Zoomies (weak beast-type melee hit, always goes first) and Hot Potato. Their final move is "bE rAnDoM!!", which picks some other move in the game and acts as that instead. Still, it's the only fire-type Pal to show up for a little while.
The inspiration: It's partly a dog with orange and red coloration to look like flames, but given its string tail and round, black body, it also looks like a cartoon bomb.


Oh, that saves me some time.


#078 Stardigrade, the "floating worm creature"
"Stardigrades are curious creatures, spending much of their time asleep in the lower atmosphere of New Wirral. Occasionally they will float down to ground-level to feed, before ascending once more using the rockets on their backs."
We've met the Zubat, now let's meet an unholy cross between Shuckle and Snorlax. Check out that stat spread! Stardigrade exists purely to stall. It has virtually no attack power of its own, but absurdly high defenses, astral-typing that can be hard to take advantage of, and moves that put itself to sleep to boost its defenses further or restore its HP. In fact, looking at their move list, the only offensive move they get naturally is Smack. Everything else exists just to make them as hard to kill as possible and also Provoke, to draw attacks toward themselves so the enemy can't KO whichever other monster with offensive capabilities is there.
The inspiration: Tardigrades are microscopic creatures that are best known for being able to survive nearly anything, including the vacuum of space. So here's a tardigrade that lives in... well, not outer space, but in the lower atmosphere, which is also not terribly friendly as environments go.

That's a floating worm creature, huh? Tardigrades aren't worms, strictly speaking, but it's got a long tube body and no face, and I'm following up on a rumor of someone who spotted the thing and probably didn't get a very good look at it.


Music: Wherever We Are Now, lyrical version
Hoylake: My, my! The "Stardigrade", is it? Why you would want to transform into this thing, I do not know... Truth be told, I don't want to transform into ANY beast! I don't understand how this technology works, and I'd rather not experiment on myself. I'm perfectly happy leaving the monster transforming to others... Which reminds me: here's a reward for your efforts!

Nobody understands how the technology works, Hoylake. Don't worry about it. Or do, I'm not your dad, just gimme the next Fused Material.

Hoylake: The next rumour I've heard sounds too bizarre to be true. There are claims of "a winged rabbit, spotted on Autumn Hill". Surely someone is pulling my leg? Having a laugh? Maybe engaging in a jest of sorts? If you can get to the bottom of this one, you'll be a better scientist than I.

Well, careful not to trip on that low bar. I personally think "troglobitic predator that comes with its own skull-perch" or "person-sized variation of a microscopic critter and also it's rocket-powered" would be harder to believe exists than a "rabbit pegasus", but at this point you could tell me I'm after a punk-rock chicken or a vampire pumpkin or something and I'd just assume it's out there somewhere.


But completing that step of On The Hunt gets me my fifth Fused Material, so I can afford that microphone upgrade.


Yeah, I think you do.

Kayleigh: A-and, you'll probably think worse of me when I'm finished. Sorry.
You see, when I first came to New Wirral, I didn't live in Harbourtown. There's another settlement at the top of Autumn Hill, on the east coast. Mourningtown. It's a community of people living off the land, sharing possessions, all that cute stuff.

Doesn't sound so bad, or all that different, so far.

Kayleigh: You've seen the folks walking around in the hooded robes, right?
Prompt: "Yep!" / "They seem kinda suspicious."

There's no "just the one" answer.

Kayleigh: That's them. And I guess... I was one of them once. Things didn't used to be that weird there, but... The leader, Dorian, he's obsessed with Archangels. Mourningtown was founded with the intent of helping everyone, but it soon just became about what he wanted. It reached a point where I didn't feel at home anymore. It was too late for me to be able to fix anything... so I ran.
That's how I ended up in Harbourtown a year ago. I want so desperately to do right by everyone, because I have let so many down in the past. But... if Dorian knows about the locations of other Archangels, I need to put my fears aside and find out what he knows.
Th-they don't let outsiders into the commune... But they should still remember me - I think I'll be able to get us inside.
Are we in this, together?

So you were part of a functioning commune that got seized by a charismatic leader and turned into a cult, and rather than go along with it, you escaped. But you still want to help, so you're swallowing your own fear and going back. And you were worried I'd think less of you?


That's the direction I was going anyway, mostly because that's the direction the game's difficulty curve naturally leads. The starting area is lowest-level, Autumn Hill is next highest, and then points north and west stronger than that. The other reason...


yeah, that. Lookin' for one of those.

I snagged Stardigrade on the same trip that Dominoth reached five stars, so Dominoth gets to remaster up too.


#031 Wingloom, the "lightbulb moth"
"The lightbulbs in a Wingloom's head channel an electric current that runs through the creature's entire body. The lights generated by them are reflected out its eyes, allowing them perfect vision at night."
Wingloom is unusual in that it's the branch of the Dominoth evolutionary family that changes type. While Dominoth and its other remaster are air-type, Wingloom is lightning-type.
The inspiration: Dominoth started as a superhero moth, and both its remasters develop the idea further. Wingloom is the remaster achieved by letting it metamorphose at night, and so turns into the silent, scary Batman-style superhero in a long cloak made of its wings.

[nosimpleway]

A ranger wannabe transforms into another Stardigrade. This is going to be tedious, given Stardigrade's defenses and how I don't have a very good answer for astral-types yet. Then the damn thing uses Hibernate, going to sleep for three turns to boost its stats, on the turn I swap in Traffikrab and Springheel. Springheel uses Trick, and I manage to land "Bomb" status. If a creature with Bomb doesn't hit someone with a melee attack, they blow up at the end of their turn and die.


I did mention Stardigrade was asleep at the time, right? So that was a major timesaver.


Meme references. They're always funny.


Kayleigh: That archangel we fought... Morgante, right? We didn't really defeat her alone, did we? Someone had already wounded her when we found her. Even in her weakened state, she seemed so dangerous. Whoever wounded her must have been absolutely savage.
Prompt: "I hadn't considered that." / "I guess that makes sense..."

Of course I'd considered that.

Kayleigh: It makes me feel like us humans are pretty puny in comparison...

It's okay. I'm sure this storyline quest to go beat up eight more of them will go just fine.

The real reason I came back was because Springheel reached five stars in that wannabe fight. Springheel offers another choice: should it pursue the path of the Vagabond, or the path of the Thief? I choose Thief, and end up with a Snoopin for my trouble.


#004 Snoopin, the "imp with a cane"
"Snoopins are master thieves, and will often adorn themselves with their stolen treasures. As such, you can judge a Snoopin's skill in thievery by the amount of trinkets it is wearing."
While Springheel focuses on status moves like Jump Scare, Peekaboo, Trick, and Taunt, Snoopin monstly learns damaging moves to take advantage of its high Melee Attack and Ranged Attack.
The inspiration: It steals wealth for its own sake, and looks snazzy doing it. It's a monster Arséne Lupin.


Thanks for the subtle hint, Guy Standing Next To A Large Rock!


Hey why do you think they call this side of the map "Autumn Hills"?


And then there's this asshole.


Music: Face Down
Skelevangelist is a remastered form of a monster line I haven't seen the basic form of yet. Random Starter procs Battering Ram, and since astral moves are super-effective against earth monsters, that nets me an AP. With that one and the two I started with, I can Battering Ram again, and Skelevangelist gets KOed before it can even move.
Cultist: Heretics control Harbortown... beware their false salvation...


Guy over there points out that this is the spot that sounds like there's a train underground passing by from time to time. I can't hear anything but I know a block-arranging puzzle when I see it. Stones at 3:00, 5:00, 9:00, and 11:00, and spots on the ground at 1:00 and 7:00. Go find a couple rocks, put them in place...


Mmhmm.

[nosimpleway]

Music: The Stations Underneath
Kayleigh has her hesitations about exploring inside, given what happened at the last station, but is soon distracted by the big bioluminescent mushrooms. Presumably the glowing fungus why this is "Glowcester Station".
There are no wild monsters in the lobby, and the depths of the station is barred by a gate that demands a ticket. It's a train station. Gotta have a ticket to reach the main platform. But the ticket machine is busted.


But near the door to platform A is... a Traffikrab in a pointed hat?


Kayleigh: Did... Did that Traffikrab just speak?
Traffi... krab?: Please, do not liken me to the mindless Traffikrabs out there. I am Magikrab, indentured servant to the infinite Mer-Line: long may Their trains run on time! To dwell amongst Their hallowed halls is a privilege too grand for me to convey. To serve Their passengers is the least I can do. Which is to say: you tell me where you need to go, and I'll get the train at Platform A ready.

Which is to say: fast travel unlocked.

Magikrab: Many of the Mer-Line's stops are currently inaccessible. They will become available once their stations reopen.

Which is to say, further: each time I find a station, I find a new fast-travel location. Magikrab doesn't say until I ask to go somewhere, but there's a QoL warp directly to the Gramophone Cafe via the Harbourtown station where I found Morgante.

Magikrab: Now, what can I do for you snalligator?
Prompt: "I want to travel." / "I want to leave New Wirral." / "The Mer-Line?" / "Magikrab?" / "Nothing."

The first opens the fast-travel menu. The last ends the conversation. The other three:

Prompt: "I want to leave New Wirral."
Magikrab: Well, Platform B is what we use for interdimensional travel... However all departures through Platform B have been canceled for the next 642 years. The Mer-Line... tells me it's something about a psychic contagion. Or possibly a war?
I'm pleased to inform you that arrivals at Platform B are running on time though! We have an arrival due at Platform B any minute now! The guest at Platform B thinks it is whispering, but its words pierce so loudly. Use your eyes, not your ears, human.

spooooky

Prompt: "The Mer-Line?"
Magikrab: That's right! The Mer-Line is an underground network of railway stations all across New Wirral, and some distance beyond! The Mer-Line does not speak to mortals. They have chosen me to act as a go-between, to interface with you!

Cassette Beasts has its share of bizarre monsters but "sentient subway network" might take the cake.

Prompt: "Magikrab?"
Magikrab: Indeed! I am Magikrab, indentured servant to the incomparable Mer-Line, in whose halls you now stand. Like you, I'm not native to New Wirral. However, there have been many here who have known me. The Mer-Line has assigned me to act as your guide to Their railway network.

The implication that the monsters on New Wirral are also stranded dimensional travelers is interesting but I don't think it ever comes up again.

I fast-travel to Gramophone Cafe, rest up, and then it's off to explore some more.


Hmm. I guess some people get really connected to their preferred monsters.


Sirena Spits at Pombomb. The fire monster is Extinguished by the air move, which debuffs its Melee Attack and Ranged Attack. Likewise, a fire move hitting an air monster causes an Updraft, giving the air monster a free air wall.


Green buttons stay pressed. Red buttons need a weight on them to continue their function. As soon as I step off this button, the gate it opens slams shut again. I go and pick up one of the rocks from around Glowcester station and walk it back over, drop it on the button, and go through the gate.


The "Hey, wild monsters here are gonna outlevel you" warning. This is a straight tunnel but it is absolutely assholes and elbows with monsters, and yeah, they're my level or higher.


ow ouch oof
I use a couple Respools to make it to the end.


This had better be worth it.


shit

[nosimpleway]

Music: Like Chimeras
Muskrat cooker? I've heard they're still eaten in the northeastern states but from what I've understand they're not very goo--


Okay, I deserved that.
Also: crap, Toy Hammer is a plastic-type move, despite Muskratcooka being earth/beast. I guess I should bring out Dandylion, it's neutral to plastic moves and has an advantage over earth.


Muskratcooka knows Hot Potato -- makes sense if it's a cooker -- which adds Bomb status. Thankfully, it threw it at Wooltergeist. Wooltergeist immediately uses a melee attack on Muskratcooka, passing the Bomb right back. If it can chill out for one turn then this fight is mostly over.




bastard!


Kayleigh takes up Dandylion, as planned. Plant moves against earth monsters sew seeds throughout their target, and the plants leech HP from the monster for a few turns.


The plant-type Smack was the last of Muskratcooka's HP, splitting it into the beast-type Muskrateer and the earth-type Terracooka. I manage to record the Terracooka, but my catch chance fails on Muskrateer and I just knock it out.


#076 Terracooka, the "ceramic chef"
"Terracookas are aspiring chefs, and will attempt to cook with whatever ingredients they can find in their subterranean cave habitats. Unfortunately this means that most of their practiced recipes include lichen, moss, or both lichen and moss."
Terracooka is a little on the slow side, but have some unusual moves to make up for any deficiencies in their stats. Their unique move is "Clay-Fired", a passive that increases their defense whenever they get hit with a fire move. They quickly pick up Coal Story, an earth move that has a chance to burn its target. At four and five stars they learn Sandstorm, a ranged earth-type move that decreases the duration on all of the target's status effects by 1, and Crumble, which breaks down walls and damages the user proportional to how much durability the wall had left. If you want to make Wallace a snap, a Terracooka with Crumble is the way to go.
The inspiration: Pokemon has a little dogu monster that looks like a kid's balancing toy that grows into... well, pretty much just a regular weird-looking dogu. Cassette Beast's spin on the idea is to make it a little chef.

Wooltergeist, Dandylion, and Wingloom all star up, and the chest has a Fused Material, a sticker for Magic Tome (astral ranged attack, 3 AP, power 70, reduces target's Ranged Defense), and a Snakeskin Tape (effective at recording poison-types).


But having won, I'm still at the end of a hallway full of monsters. Some rando Squirey ends up being a significant threat, on account of knowing a Parry Stance that reflects incoming melee hits -- which is what both Wooltergeist and Dandylion do.


I need to go rest up.

[nosimpleway]

Kayleigh: Hey! I never asked you how you're finding that first monster form I gave you back on the beach when we first met. It was "Bansheep", right? That's a pretty cute monster form! When I've used it in the past, I had to get used to the weird sensation of floating.

Slow floatin' under the stars now...

Kayleigh: But when I had those big hooves? I felt like I could smack monsters pretty well with those. It takes some time getting used to how each monster form changes how your own body feels. It seems to me that you're doing a cracking job at learning the ropes, though!

I hit up Clémence to restock all the Respools I used in that cave, climb back up to Harbourtown station, and fast-travel back to Glowcester.


Music: The Stations Underneath
The gate is locked, the ticket machine is busted... but there's a suspicious stack of crates on the west wall at Glowcester.


Head in for a simple button puzzle. The trick is to remember that you can go back and grab one of the crates that were blocking the corridor leading to this room!


Another cave. More athletics puzzles, weaving through passages to find buttons that move platforms and open paths. Pretty much all the caves in the game are like that.


I utterly fail to catch a Faucetear on the way in, and manage to dodge everything else in here until I hit the button to unlock the central chest in the second room. So let's see what I ca--


crap


Oh, just a regular level 10 Wingloom? No sweat.


Lightning moves have an advantage over air-types, so I swap Sirenade out for Traffikrab. Plastic moves insulate lightning-types, hosing their accuracy. In return, lightning attacks have trouble piercing through plastic, leaving them with a Static charge that does lightning-type contact damage for a few turns.

Wingloom drops a "Machine Part", a sticker for Dodge, and a Recycled Tape (effective at recording plastic-types).


Back in the lobby the Machine Part is used to fix the ticket machine. I get a ticket for Platform B, and then... leave. I'm not about to take on another Archangel just yet.


It's a big jump, but it's juuust possible to make it with the glide ability.


But the last island is blocked by another shadow creature. It's also raining pretty hard, and seems to be raining harder the closer I get to it.

[nosimpleway]

Music: Like Chimeras
Little guy in the mask on the left is an Elfless. Given the name and the similar hat and pants on both, I'm assuming Elfsea is a mix of Elfless and a something-sea. Elfless is ice-type, and Elfsea, not surprisingly, is ice/water. Really it's the level 20 that I'm worried about.


Both monsters immediately target Kayleigh with ice moves, revealing that ice chills air-type monsters, reducing their accuracy.


Elfsea switches to a water move. This Energizes Wooltergeist, and Conducts Wingloom. With Multitarget up, Wingloom can hit both enemies with moves that normally only target one monster. With that in hand, knocking out the regular Elfless while still chipping down the Elfsea is a matter of time.


Torrent again. It hits twice, and either I have the worst luck imaginable or multihit moves that crit do their extra damage on every hit. Wooltergeist is taken from half health to KOed and snalligator underneath loses a third of his HP from blow-through.


Oh yeah. Fog. Fog is the worst. It hits all targets on the battlefield, including the user, and drops the accuracy of all ranged attacks that aren't ice-, water-, or air-type to 0. Of course, anyone packing Fog is already a water-type, so they're set to work around it. I just put up an Abramacabra to try to chip a little bit more HP off of Elfsea, but now all of those shots whiff.


Macabra gets KOed, the Traffikrab I switch in to take its place is at critical HP, and Gloomwing is only still up because I respooled it. I finally break Elfsea into its component parts, and get an answer to why this is such a damned hard fight: in addition to a three-level advantage, Regensea there is a remastered form. The stats of the fused monster must have been through the roof.


Traffikrab is the only source of fire-type damage I have with me, so I hit Elfless with it. This immediately backfires, as this serves only to melt Elfless's ice into water. And water-type monsters are not vulnerable to fire in any way.


I tried, dammit.


I probably shouldn't have. Another Torrent, another Ice Rush, and Snalligator drops. There's no way to revive a human character in the middle of a fight. Kayleigh will have to do this on her own.






I respool Wingloom, then it gets dropped anyway, and Kayleigh manages to finish the fight as Sirenade. Yeesh.


I'm sure that would have been a really good battle for starring up my monsters, if any of them had frickin' survived.


Defeating the fusion drains the water out of the basin, allowing me to proceed. Er, after I go heal up again.

[nosimpleway]

Music: Wherever We Are Now, lyrical version
How many establishing shots of Kayleigh and me at our table at Gramophone Cafe am I up to now, I wonder.
Kayleigh: Hey, I forgot to ask! How are you feeling about taking on the ranger training, snalligator?
Prompt: "Excited!" / "Nervous!"
Kayleigh: Of course you are! You'll do fine! The rangers tailor their challenges to the strengths of each trainee - my training involved doing community work around town for each ranger captain. Your combat challenge seems... a little more intense than mine.


If I don't hand this over now, seeing the (!) mark over your head for a completable quest is going to drive me nuts, so while I'm sure I'd have a better use for this, you can have it.

He asks whether I think the sign should have a bird, a flower, or a dolphin on it. Could we do, I dunno, a fish with khakis and a hat on?


Purely a stylistic choice, I think. The EXP from finishing the quest gets a star up for Wooltergeist, giving it Nurse: for five AP, heal one target for 50% of their max HP. That might save me some Respools, if I can find a time in combat to use it. I also get another Fused Material. You'd think the stuff would be rarer.


Now, back to the bridge I opened up after fighting off the Elfsea fusion.


I guess I haven't linked regular overworld music yet? I don't really spend much time talking about stuff happening on the map, it's mostly quick descriptions or establishing shots. Anyway, the bgm is New Wirral
Darwin: This island has taught me that it is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one most adaptable to change. Now, let's transform!


This is just a regular battle but the idea that real-world people famous for major societal breakthroughs have also been sucked into New Wirral is a fascinating one. Maybe Kayleigh is actually... uh... are there any Kayleighs out there that are household names?


I made it to the top edge of the map, but if I'm going to explore into the corner I'll need some way to cross the water.


That's convenient. This button raises a platform from Glowcester station to the entrance to Autumn Hills, saving me from having to go all the way around through the pond where I fought the Elfsea.


Uh huh. I'm sure it'll go great.


The cultist transforms into an Allseer. Not the first one I've encountered, since they're also random encounters around the Autumn Hills, little spaceships with better defensive stats than offensive ones.


...and an attack that hits with their Melee Defense instead of their Melee Attack. And is metal-type. So... uh... not great for me.

[nosimpleway]

The switch behind the cultist lowers the level of the water in the nearby pond, revealing a gate. A button at the bottom of what used to be the pond opens said gate. Inside...


Music: Into the Caves
A couple random encounters, a button puzzle, and another Rogue fusion.


The rando Allseer chases me down, starting a fight with it and a Thwackalope for backup. I manage to record both!


#051 Thwackalope, the "winged rabbit"
"When a Thwackalope matures to the age where it can defend itself, it makes a makeshift weapon from its environment. Their preference is for metal posts ripped right out of the ground - including the slab of earth where it was initially buried."
Thwackalope doesn't remaster, but it's not a bad idea to grow one to five stars anyway. That's when they pick up Pole Vault Assault, an air-type move with power 90... that hits twice. With a base Melee Attack of 180, that's gonna leave a mark.
The inspiration: It's named for a jackalope, but it's more like a wolpertinger, since those have wings.


#052 Allseer, the "flying saucer"
"Allseers are mostly seen at night, hovering several meters off the ground. They get their name from their unnerving behavior, wherein they appear to silently observe passing humans with a single unblinking 'eye'."
Silently observing passing humans my ass, Allseers are aggressive.
Allseer isn't as tanky as I thought, its Ranged Defense is actually pretty poor. And its Ranged Attack is still better than its Melee Defense. So Shield Bash was a nasty hit, but it could have been worse, Allseer could have just fired whatever beam attacks it had.
Allseer's signature move is "Wonderful 7". It's an astral-type ranged attack, power 70, for four AP. The visual effect flashes a brief image of one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World before it fires a beam at the target, which in turn causes one of seven random status effects. (At least, they're probably supposed to be the Seven Wonders, but I know the Coliseum in Rome is one of them, and while it's an impressive structure it's not one of those seven.)
The inspiration: plus , presumably with a bit of "aliens helped ancient cultures build their monuments!" conspiracy powering Wonderful 7.


A red line on the ground to the left, a blue line on the ground to the right. Each button turns one of the gray discs in the middle, and each disc also turns any of the discs above it. It's kind of tricky but not terribly difficult to figure out.


As a reward, the stone wall at the back of the room drops down, revealing... a wooden wall. Huh? (The cultist from outside was standing right next to a wooden wall. This is that wall, now lowered underground so that I can pass through the valley.)


Before I go... I guess I might as well.

[nosimpleway]

Music: Like Chimeras
Alllope? Maybe it's Welsh.
Figuring that Alllope is an Allseer-Thwackalope combination I know to expect a combination of metal, air, lightning, and astral attacks. Terracooka is an earth-type, and I misremember its signature move as being fire-type when it's really earth-type with a burn effect. Even so, there's really not any easy answer for type advantage here. For whatever reason I was worried enough about metal-type moves that I swapped out from Wooltergeist, despite it having type advantage over earth, air, and fire. Not my smartest move.


Because metal moves weren't my concern. Alllope just uses Wonderful 7 over an over, so in addition to getting pounded by astral damage I'm constantly getting hit with random status effects.


I try to have Dandylion drop a Snooze Spore on Alllope, in hopes of getting it to chill out while I KO Terracooka. So obviously that's the turn that Wonderful 7 hits Dandylion with its own sleep effect. A monster that's asleep has access to three moves rather than whatever its normal movelist is: Sleep Talk, power 120 ranged. Sleep Walk, power 120 melee. Summon Tulpa calls in an extra monster with the "Ghostly" status effect to the fight. And I've never seen any of them do what they advertise, because all three moves have a 1% success rate.


I manage to wear down the Terracooka until it flees. Now faced only with an air/metal monster that knows astral and lightning cross-type moves, I swap in Wingloom. Lightning is neutral to astral and other lightning moves, and has an advantage over metal and air.


Alllope manages to Confuse, then KO Macabra before I can split it apart, but from here the fight doesn't have any more surprises. Allseer uses Wonderful 7 when it can and Shooting Star otherwise. Thwackalope uses Charge, mostly.


A particularly brutal turn knocks out Wingloom, so I swap back in for Wooltergeist. It manages to proc a random starter! It's Nurse, which it uses on Kayleigh-as-Traffikrab... which had not taken any damage.


End result of the fight is a big chunk of EXP for whoever surived, and another Fused Material. Fused Materials drop from all Rogue Fusions, and are in fact the main reason why anyone would bother fighting them, so I'll probably omit that from the post-battle rewards from here on out.

With the wall out of the way I can proceed further through Autumn Hill... once I go rest and heal up.

[nosimpleway]

Music: Wherever We Are Now, lyrical version
Ranger Wilma swung by and dropped off a stack of Chrome Tapes for Clémence to sell. Basic Tapes have a pretty damn low record chance, so an upgrade is most welcome... but Chrome Tapes cost seven hunks of metal each, and that's a hefty price. (Basic Tapes are 10 plastic, which is easier to find than metal.)


I'll grant that I'm probably a little underleveled for Autumn Hills. I'm having to go back and heal up after making very little progress each step. So I look through my stickers to see if there's anything I can equip to make things a little easier. When did I get this?
Clobber is a typeless power 60 move that hits twice. It's five AP, which is a steep cost, but I equip it to Wooltergeist in hopes that maybe I can Random Starter proc it once in a while.


I also find an uncommon Smack I didn't know I had. As an uncommon sticker it has an additional effect, and for this sticker that effect is that it does a little bit of damage to the other monster in a fight, more for every blank spot on the user's skill list. Wingloom doesn't have much in the way of really good moves in its movepool, so I drop most of the stuff it knows and give it the sticker to take advantage of that.

I throw the Unicast sticker I found back in the tutorial on Sirenade, too. With only three stickers swapped in that wasn't much of a power-up, but maybe it'll make things a little more survivable.


With the map hypothetically open to me but mostly unexplored I'm getting a lot of "hey go here for a mobility upgrade" rumors.


Well, back to Autumn Hills. I make a few steps past the wooden wall I opened before I run into a surprisingly Buddhist cultist: I am in pain because I want to go home, the desire unfulfilled is what causes anguish and suffering. Only then he offers to make me a sacrifice to an Archangel to end my suffering, so never mind, I gotta grind his stupid face into the dirt real quick.


Sirenade levels up to five stars afterward. So back to Gramophone I go.


#025 Decibelle, the "winged beast with ribbon wings". Look, that's what the game says.
"Very few Decibelles have been seen in the wild. Early denizens of New Wirral whispered of seeing white dragons in the clouds, but it is unclear whether they were seeing Decibelles, or just losing their minds."
I'll pick up other partners with other signature mons later on, but sticking with Kayleigh's Decibelle for the entire game isn't a bad idea. It's got a fantastic Ranged Attack, and as soon as I get a star on it, it'll pick up Echolocation. Echolocation gives the user Multitarget, and automatically applies itself at the start of every battle. Decibelle mostly learns moves that multitarget anyway, but a few stickers can solve that.


Music: Like Chimeras
Walking back to Harbourtown Station I run into another Rogue Fusion. This time I outlevel it, it's only 17 and I've managed to reach 21. So this shouldn't be a down-to-the-wire brawl like the last couple have been.


Most games with elemental-typed monsters have moves that are only one type, to simplify interactions between attacker and defender. But Traffifyre, here plastic/fire, uses Multismack, which takes on the type of whichever monster is using it. So is it plastic, or fire? It's both. Wooltergeist gets hit with the AP Drain status for being an astral type hit with a plastic move, then immediately gets the AP Boost status for being an astral type hit with a fire move. Those two cancel each other out, and there's no additional effect.


Traffifyre brought a Springheel buddy, who uses Trick and inflicts a level of Resonance on Wooltergeist. Most status effects have a duration of three turns before they wear off. Resonance doesn't go away until the end of a fight. And if anything in the game ever has three stacks of Resonance, it immediately shatters for a KO. There are ways to set up Resonance to do that on purpose, but Trick is not one of them I have to worry about. With 23 debuffs to choose from, it's just not that likely that Trick will ever lead to a Resonance KO.


Progress. (When Pombomb remasters it puts on aviator goggles.)


Defeating Traffifyre stars both Dandylion and Traffikrab up to five. Undertow is a tough move to use, it's a power 90 water-type ranged attack for only two AP, but always targets whoever moved immediately before the user. This can absolutely be the user's own partner. The Uncommon trait is that it gives a 4% EXP bonus for every empty slot in the user's movelist.

Traffikrab asks if I would prefer Ranged Attack or Melee Defense on my remaster. Melee Defense results in a familiar face:


#013 Lobstacle, the "plastic barrel with legs"
"Lobstacles are docile and patient creatures. When retracted into their plastic 'shells', the heavy Lobstacle is almost impossible to move or overturn."
Lobstacle is a hoss, the epitome of the "slow but strong" build type. At its first star it picks up Shield Bash, giving it a way to turn that big ol' Melee Defense into an offense. By the time they're five-starred they'll be able to steal opponent's walls with Revolving Door and then either Recycle them for free AP or Throw them back at the monster they just stole it from.
The inspiration: Small hermit crab in traffic cone grows into big hermit crab in construction barrier barrel.


#027 Blossomaw, the "long dragon with a mane of petals"
"Dandylions that enter a long hibernation period are said to emerge as elegant Blossomaws in spring, just as the first flowers begin to bloom. They can breathe fierce clouds of pollen in the way a dragon might breathe fire."
I'll be honest with you, a monster that breathes clouds of pollen sounds about as dangerous to me and my allergies as one that breathes fire. Sturdy and slow, Blossomaw has a decent Ranged Attack but very few moves to take advantage of it. I have to manually peel off the sticker for Smack it carried over from being a Dandylion to replace with Spit, for instance. It's built for support, shutting enemies down with Sleep Spore, sapping enemy health with Leech and Poison Pollen, and keeping itself and its partner healthy with grass-type walls, New Leaf (removes status ailments), and Doc Leaf (adds Healing Leaf status, basically slow HP regeneration).
The inspiration: The Chinese-style guardian lion-dog turns into a Chinese-style dragon, with the poof of dandelion seeds serving as a mane reduced to a ring of petals. I like the gentle curve of its serpentine body contrasted with the blocky cube of a face and the equally angular legs. And of course there's a leaf sticking out of its body somewhere... but in this case, why not draw it as a dandelion leaf, with the saw-blade edges, and make it a thagomizer?

[nosimpleway]

I've got two strong, slow tanks, but I don't think I want both in the party at the same time. Blossomaw being the superior of the two in my opinion, I drop Lobstacle from the party in favor of Terracooka, which is convenient in the very next cultist fight. A Masquerattle spits poison at Terracooka, which doesn't hurt Terracooka all that much but does coat it in venom. Poison-type moves cover all the pointiest bits of earth-type monsters, giving them extra poison-type contact damage for a few turns.


In fact, the Masquerattle gets knocked out, and the cultist transforms into a Jormungold. Terracooka smacks the Jormungold. Jormungold counters with Revenge Strike on Terracooka. But Revenge Strike is a melee hit, and Jormungold is KOed by the very poison it just covered Terracooka with.



There's a cave behind the northernmost cliff face in Autumn Hills, but it's blocked by one of those big stone cubes I can't do anything about yet.



It's just a couple of rando cultists but there are three star-ups from the fight. Wooltergeist picks up one of those ranged attack moves that it can't use all that well, Wingloom picks up a pretty useful ranged hit, and Terracooka gets a move that adds Bomb status and is thus virtually guaranteed to backfire on me sooner or later.


"Get the fuck out of my way", Matthew 16:23


Next cultist in line turns into one of Allseer's remasters. Which is, uh, not great. I end up losing Wingloom and Terracooka both, so it's back to Harbourtown again.


Kayleigh: The thing with the rangers is that each one has a special role they play in maintaining the town. Lodestein keeps the electrical grid running. Wallace maintains the buildings and walls. Zedd does... something.
But these also reflect how they battle! Each of them has a unique tactic they'll use. I'm sure you'll be able to beat them, snalligator!

I talked about that already, Kayleigh.

[nosimpleway]

There you're! Been looking for you.


I just spotted the monster I've been looking for and you're lunging directly in my way. You're not as sorry as you're gonna be in a minute.


Music: Cross Your Heart
Bulletinos live on the east side of Autumn Hill, somewhat difficult to reach. This entire update has been me getting over here to find some. They are extremely fast


and, uh, extremely fragile. I end up knocking both of them out.


Well, no. I amend: I knock one of them out. When Bulletinos run out of HP they use Self-Destruct, which deals fire-type damage to every other monster on the battlefield. This finishes off the other Bulletino... which itself uses Self-Destruct to deal extra fire damage.


Next fight is against a Velocirifle, Bulletino's remaster. I don't know if it'd count for the thing I want to catch it for, but it's a moot point since I KO it with a critical hit anyway.


WOULD YOU STOP
Third try is made even more frustrating by the Self-Destruct doing fire damage to the Thwackalope standing nearby, giving it a free air wall to protect it against me ending the fight.


Fourth time's a charm.

#041 Bulletino, the "giant walking bullet"
"The Bulletino only has one defense mechanism, and that is to launch itself headfirst into danger when panicked. This is a bad idea but Bulletino will always do it anyway."
Bulletino is really fast but can't really do anything with that speed, given how abysmal its other stats are.
The inspiration: It's a bullet, I dunno what else to tell you.


Second mobility upgrade.


Music: New Wirral or New Wirral (night) as appropriate
Bulletino Dash replaces my regular dash with one that's about three times faster. It drains stamina quickly, but zipping forward with Bulletino Dash, pausing to restore stamina, and dashing again is still faster than the slower jog that drains stamina slower.
If I run into a monster while doing a Bulletino Dash, I deal a little fire-type damage to all the monsters in the fight before the first turn.

[nosimpleway]

Proceeding further through Autumn Hills requires me to raise a bridge across a valley. The switch is hidden behind a wall requiring the camera to swing around to see. The hint that there's anything back there is the occasional "Z" rising from some guy who's asleep back here. He looks comfy, so I leave him alone for now.


South of Autumn Hills is the Dino Quarry, part of the Deadlands. If I didn't get Bulletino Dash I wouldn't be able to get in. Here Kayleigh is talking about the stone I just burst through, there are normally two blocking the entrance.


A few environmental puzzles later and a chest offers The Old 1-2. Like Wallop it's power 60 and costs 5 AP, but whereas Wallop hits one target twice, The Old 1-2 hits all targets once.


Oh. I guess campfires far away from Harbourtown, or campfires built by higher-leveled people, take more wood to build. For all the sense that makes.


The scattering of particles is coming from a crack in the wall, indicating a strong wind. I can't jog through it, but now that I have Bulletino Dash I can get through. The chest has a sticker for Phase Shift and a Ceramic Tape, good at recording earth-types.


Suspicious.


Even more suspicious. At this point I'm just going to assume that any chest that's at all easy to get is going to have a monster inside.


I am correct.


Music: Like Chimeras
As I complained before with regards to Torrent, moves that hit more than once will crit more than once. A crit Clobber takes Wooltergeist from full HP to critical in one fell swoop.


Squireheel is purely beast-type, so there's not much I can do for type advantage to weaken it. I have Decibelle use Unicast and Wooltergeist manages to proc Accuracy Down off of Battering Ram. With two accuracy debuffs it should have some trouble dropping those big chunky hits for three turns -- long enough for me to split it apart, drop the Springeel, and record the Squirey.


#034 Squirey, the "pangolin with a spear"
"The common Squirey is often seen roaming the plains of New Wirral, searching for opponents to battle. Despite their cute appearances, they are dedicated warriors and driven by an innate desire for self-improvement."
For given its low stats I sure am having a lot of trouble with Squirey and Squirey-derived monsters. Copper Chop and Parry Stance shouldn't be nearly as dangerous as they end up being.
The inspiration: Being a pangolin doesn't really enter into it much... not that Squirey looks much like a pangolin. It's just a little squire critter.
The remaster: When it reaches five stars, Squirey has a choice to make: does it fight with Honor, or does it pursue Victory at any cost?


The fight is enough for Macabra to five-star, too. Blood Donation is one of those "sacrifice your HP to heal another party member" moves, and so I doubt I'll ever use it.

[nosimpleway]

I went north, east through Autumn Hills, south along the edge of the map, and back west through the Deadlands. There's a big mountain in the middle of Autumn Hills that I didn't scale, I just went around the base. Having done all that I'm back to the Harbourtown Outskirts. I can walk back from here.


On the beach where I started the game, there's a Rogue Fusion on a spire of rock in the foreground. I couldn't reach it out there and up there, even if I wanted to.


Music: Same Old Story, lyrical version
Back in town I swing by Ranger HQ to pick up the second microphone upgrade, for six Fused Materials this time. The cost for any of these upgrades goes up Fused Material each time, so the next mic upgrade will be seven.


Hoylake: Huh?! It was REAL?! I never would have guessed. It is curious how our myths and legends appear to influence the appearance of monsters here on New Wirral...
Say! Could I ask you some questions about your world, from before you came here? I am also trying to catalogue the various realities that Harbourtown's residents hail from.
Prompt: "Sure...?" / "I guess...?"
Hoylake: Excellent! I will simply ask a series of questions relating to broad historical events and you can tell me if they seem familiar to you. Question one: Are you familiar with "the Roman Empire"?

Yeah, we use knowing a ton about it as a way to weed out chuds. I guess I might need to explain to you what a chud is.

Hoylake: Question two: did the "industrial revolution" occur in your world's past?

Yeah, but given the state of the world now it might have been better if it didn't.

Hoylake: OK, question three: did mankind ever land on the moon?

The moon landing was faked, but they hired Stanley Kubrick to shoot the falsified material and he's such a perfectionist he insisted on doing the filming on-location, so we had to fly the film crews up there for all that.

Hoylake: Right! Last question: has "The Day of the Birds" happened yet?
Prompt: "What?" / "...Yet?"
Hoylake: Uhh, don't worry about that last one. In fact, count yourself lucky you don't know what I meant. Thank you for your assistance once again!

Another Fused Material, and my next assignment: "A crow with a hood and mask in the Deadlands". I walked past several of them but didn't engage because I was so beat up from everything else out there.
Also: of course there's a crow in a hood and mask. I said "once the internet collectively discovered plague doctors like ten or fifteen years ago they've been showing up everywhere" and I stand by that. Maybe next I'll do a video LP of Shovel Knight or something.


Music: Wherever We Are Now
Now that I can break stuff with my face by dashing into it, I can bust some of these wooden crates lying around Harbourtown. Most just reward me with the wood the crate was made of.


One crate on a rooftop on the north side of town was hiding a chest with a Life Absorb sticker... and the wood the crate was made of. Inside the chest. I dunno.


Just north of Harbourtown is a breakable rock, set into a wall, that blows wind outward. I couldn't approach before, but now I can Bulletino Dash through the wind and break the rock to pass through to the other side.
This is the halfway point separating the left half of the map from the right, so there's a brief loading screen. It doesn't take long, but it's kind of annoying, considering the median cuts right through the middle of Harbourtown.


Up and around and down the other side, I reach West Harbourtown.


And drop the bridge release so that anyone else can cross over between the two sides.


Music: Wherever We Are Now, lyrical version
I've put up this establishing shot so many times I'm starting to wonder more about the guy behind Kayleigh, who apparently never leaves. He gives some rumors from time to time but familiarity breeds curiosity. What's his deal? Is he writing a book on his laptop or something? Set up doing work out of the office? Or does he just like the Wherever We Are Now lyrical version so much he doesn't want to go outside?

Kayleigh: This might sound weird, but... I think I actually prefer the smell of coffee to the taste. Don't get me wrong, I think coffee is brilliant! But the smell always implies something so much greater...

I don't agree, but I understand.

One last thing to do real quick, I remaster the Macabra that hit five stars into Folklord.


#028 Folklord, the "giant with a skull head"
"A fully mature Macabra, the Folklord wears a skull like the kind it used to perch upon, which has now molded to its head. Its arms and upper body are so dense with muscle that it cannot support itself for very long."
Folklord is an odd one. It's got well-rounded stats without really excelling anywhere, which is a little unusual for a remaster. It's not bad, really. It keeps the oddball moves from being a Macabra, including Blood Donation and Abramacabra, then as it stars up it learns... how to shapeshift. Copy That turns the user into a copy of another monster on the battlefield, and Crossfade, if I understand correctly, lets me switch out Folklord for another one of my monsters, but the monster switching in inherits Folklord's elemental type. Which is beast, so, y'know, probably not the best Crossfade-er out there.
The inspiration: The ingame description brings up that any of a number of giant, forest-dwelling humanoid cryptids might have given rise to the Folklord, namedropping Bigfoot and Sasquatch specifically. Marowak is not mentioned.

Next time: west Harbourtown!