UH SO, it's been a liiiittle while since my last update!
This was basically one of a half-dozen time killers I run during my desperate eight-month unemployed job hunt a while back. I haven't had any time for it since the job at Pearson started, but since the end times for Bronto image hosting may well be upon us at the end of October... I'm gonna try to post the rest of the pictures.
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OFF:
Niku moves to the right of the Geoscape projector, so she'll be close enough fer fistin' when the ceiling vents burst with writhing, supple extraterrestrial impregnation hatebugs.
To the left, Grath goes on overwatch.
E... everyone goes on overwatch. Turn ends.
Wooooooo they ain't kidding around - a Beserker drops in from the vents, dead center.
Everyone and their mom opens up - Smiler on the bottom there hitting for 5, Grath for 8, and a blueshirt rook for a stunning 2.
In the background there, you can see Niku fucking obliterating a 3-health sectoid with his railgun. Good lord, woman.
In the back room, behind Smiler, one of those delightful slobbering insectoid rape demons drops in! That's a first for this mission.
Ooooh, and another, just to the left!!!
UH!
Okay so, I don't think I've ever gotten a plasma-rifle muton on turn two of this mission before.
COOL.
SURE.
At least we get three reinforcements - Ted Belmont and two oddly human-shaped plasma sponges.
Ted takes two steps and goes for a headshot on the muton. 78% is good enough for me, with this many guys still free (I can still grenade it to death with the probies if I have to).
UUNF. Howdjya like THAT shit.
I move the first rook into the open and try to toss a grenade at the mechtoid, buuuut it's like a quarter-centimeter too far.
Welp. Might as well try to score a hit with the regular ol' bullet-loaded rifle.
Holy hell, she hit!
For a stunning 3.
Meanwhile, it turns out the mechtoid landed directly on top of another rook. The rook is inside the 'toid.
Just all up in there.
Can't move 'cause the mechtoid is on overwatch.
He fires his load for 4.
Downstairs, rook #2 (from the reinforcements), moves into position, and is one square closer than her buddy.
55% chance to hit sucks.
Grenade is a sure-fire hit, though.
I either kill the rook for 3 damage on the mechtoid, or I somehow miss the rook but hit the mechtoid.
Either way, 3 damage.
Downstairs, Niku punches the flippin' lights out of a muton.
Oh yes.
Smiler, now free of threat, opens on the beserker.
And fucking whiffs.
BUT, he has an ability that lets him fire twice if he doesn't move!
Second hit is a delicious kill.
Back up top, the rooks continue to plug away at the mechtoid.
Oooh, a hit for 4!
Grath moves up the ladder and behind some boxes for a decent shot at finishing the goddamn thing off.
Solid-ass hit.
Drops the mechtoid to 2, but it ain't a kill.
Alien turn.
Skittery little fucker outside wastes no time bolting in and dropping down from the balcony above Niku and Smiler. I brace for the strike.
It... doesn't?
The other chryssalid bolts right for Grath. Fuck.
HE SURVIVES BY 1 HOLY SHIT
Meanwhile, the rook under the mechtoid (who apparently didn't get blown up earlier) gets stone-cold ruined at point blank for 13.
C'est la vie~
Downstairs, rook #2 witnesses the grisly death of rook #1.
Deftly panicking.
She makes a run for it.
The mechtoid, carrying the same two-shot ability as Smiler, watches and succinctly plasters rook 2 with hot, crispy plasma.
Heh.
Turn begins.
Ted Belmont gets a cherry of an angle on the skitterbug hounding Grath.
Ugh. Hits for 7, leaving it with 1 health.
Niku turns and decks the other chryssalid for a delicious 14.
Smiler stays point, aims for the mechtoid up top...
...aaand hits square on.
Up top, rook #3 falls back to finish off the chryssalid.
It's a clean hit.
Grath heals himself for 4.
End turn.
Next turn, everyone moves out back for the expected air assault.
Grath hunkers down in the corner...
...and heals himself up to full.
Downstairs, Niku, Smiler, and rook #4 set up and go on overwatch.
End turn.
Here they come.
First to appear is a brobdingnagian ol' cyberdisc!
The rook whiffs, but Niku hits for 8.
Another cyberdisc moves up, along with a single drone.
Okay.
OKAY.
THREE.
Final wave of reinforcements appears - two more rooks, and Beat Bandito.
Ted can either keep moving up, or stay put and use his squadsight ability to hit a target another teammate can see.
70% ain't bad.
It ain't good either.
Beautiful.
Outside, Smiler has a perfect double shot.
But, he could also use his rocket and take out the drones!
It'd take care of two drones, a squid, and do 6 on the cyberdisc.
6 is shit damage on the disc, though. And that's the real threat here.
He goes for the double shot. First hits for 7.
Second shot does a measily 5, totaling 13.
I'll take it.
Rook #... 3? Maybe? Has a decent enough grenade toss.
Kills nothing, but softens the whole crew up quite nicely.
Rook #4 finishes the deed.
And earns herself a useless little promotion!
Cyberdisc is down to 2. Everything else is toast.
Grath drops the disc, since he can't move without getting overwatch blasted.
Downstairs, Niku hits the final disc for a whopping 9.
Since Bandita hasn't worked her way to the frontlines yet, I have her toss a smoke grenade over Niku and Smiler, in the hopes neither will get toasted by the disc on the alien turn.
Holy shnikies it worked.
Our turn.
Niku recklessly runs at the disc, through the smoke, causing the overwatch shot to miss.
Oh yes.
FUCK you.
The room cleared, everyone regroups at the rear.
And heals up.
I don't have any screens for the next portion of the mission, but after this it was pretty simple. Trigger enemies, fall back, wait for them to come at you, and blast them from cover.
No casualties apart from the rookies, all of whom died horribly. One guy actually got impregnated by a chryssalid and rocket punched! Ain't no greater honor in my corps.
XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Oh man i forgot I was in this and I'm surprised I'm still alive.
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Mmmm kinda! Hundreds of yous have died horribly across hundreds of failed Ironman campaigns. Sometimes you're speared through by chryssalids on the first terror mission, other times you're vaporized by cyberdisc fire from half a map away, and one time you were actually chased down at beaten to death by a beserker!
Everyone has similar stories, except for Grath, who somehow only ever gets wounded.
This you is doing pretty good so far, though!
Everyone has similar stories, except for Grath, who somehow only ever gets wounded.
This you is doing pretty good so far, though!
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
I'd say the most death-prone by FAR is Beat Bandito, who never survives more than four missions.
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Mothra wrote:Mmmm kinda! Hundreds of yous have died horribly across hundreds of failed Ironman campaigns. Sometimes you're speared through by chryssalids on the first terror mission, other times you're vaporized by cyberdisc fire from half a map away, and one time you were actually chased down at beaten to death by a beserker!
Everyone has similar stories, except for Grath, who somehow only ever gets wounded.
This you is doing pretty good so far, though!
It's my lucky fedora, it keeps me safe.
- beatbandito
- Posts: 4314
- Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:04 am
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Mothra wrote:I'd say the most death-prone by FAR is Beat Bandito, who never survives more than four missions.
EXCUSE ME SIR I am a ghost in a helmet, it's not my fault my host bodies keep dying.
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
So, widespread sabotage wiped out XCom's defenses and letting the aliens right through the front door. Sounds like the work of our bitcoin-grubbing transhuman redditor rivals Exalt.
Ever since we've turned Niku into a soulless, nigh-invincible half-tank technobomination, Exalt missions have been an embarrassing turkey-shoot. I've been milking these little jaunts as best I can for experience, and it's paid off brobdingnagian.
Exalt's been good to me.
But all good things must come to to an end.
Every crushing victory we've scored against these clowns has narrowed down the list of possible nations harboring their HQ to one.
Welp, nice guys finish last.
Bringing Healy and Niku on this, since they're the heavy hitters.
Smiler died spectacularly in an interim mission, as is his way, and his replacement has gone up to the most base Assault class level. Bringing him along with Patito to level them up.
Beat Bandito survived the base invasion, and so he'll be coming as well.
The new MintyAnt will be our sniper, and if there's one thing I've learned from Ironman, it's that you level up your snipers, or you lose, so WELCOME ABOARD MINTY.
Research just finished up on the badass Archangel flying power armor, but the materials needed are pretty fucking rare. Do really I want to drop that kinda Elerium right now?
Aww f-f-f-friickkk yehhhh
♬ Mission soundtrack ♪
Hm. Could move right in through the front door.
Or I could EXPERIENCE THE MIRACLE OF HUMAN FLIGHT
UUNNNFFF
I move Beat Bandita once more after this, to the corner of the roof.
From her vantage on the ceiling, Beat can see right in through the skylight.
Setting off a trio of two assault and one heavy-weapons Exalt augments.
I reinforce the roof with Smiler and Healy...
...and move Minty to snipe from the left side balcony.
Niku and Patito barrel in on the left side. Figure the front door is a scosch too dangerous for Ironman.
Turn ends, I hear scurryin'.
No angle for Minty, so I move him out as far as I can. It's half cover, which sucks, but you know what? It's Exalt. They're not gonna do shit.
Minty sets off another group, back through some double doors.
They take position on either side of the frame.
Niku, meanwhile, as a cherry of a chance to get his rocket fists a-fistin'.
brobdingnagian O, SHOWTIME
*crash*
Ohhoho~
It's the little things.
Patito, meanwhile, spots a sniper.
Emboldened by the developing massacre, Beat Bandito drops down from the roof in a sweet-ass action STINGER
Hugging the doorframe, he squares up an 88% shot.
Ugh. Missed.
Healy follows, taking the other side of the door.
I mean, there's a guy RIGHT THERE. No way in hell he could possibly
Okay.
Smiler drops in and takes out that dude everyone's been ignoring in the back.
Good lord.
Smiler I... I-I think you incinerated him??
Jesus man.
Turn ends.
Oof. Healy takes 6 damage and is set with Holo-Targeting, which gives everyone a 10% boost on all shots taken on her.
Further back, another trio breaks in to join the party.
They rush in.
FUCK and hit Healy for another 6. He's down to 2.
I'm playing like an asshole.
Okay, in my defense, they suddenly have 6 guys here all of the sudden.
God damn.
That sniper goes on overwatch.
My turn starts.
I'm not entirely sure fighting these guys in the hallway is a good idea, considering the damage Healy just took.
Smiler makes a move for the left-side balcony, to get a better angle.
OW.
4 damange from that overwatch sniper.
Okay you know what?
That's what HAPPENS, you little shits.
No kills, but everyone's cover is blasted to splinters, and they're weak enough to be easily picked off.
Or maybe...
Oh yes.
Niku's grenade launcher.
UUNNNFFF
From the rear window, Minty lines up a dubious 45% shot. Figure the +10% from holotargeting should move it from "impossible" to "technically possible."
That felt good.
Healy approves.
We're on a roll. Smiler takes that shot.
Beat Bandita, our resident medic, moves one space to the right to make room for Healy.
Healy takes half cover so he can lob a grenade down the hallway.
Aw yeah.
All cover has been completely wiped out.
Bandito's been keeping the medkit all warm and ready.
Glad for the opportunity, Beat Bandit blows a thick, ropy stream of life-giving lovebatter over Healy's face.
MORE LATER (IN LIKE A DAY PROBABLY)
- beatbandito
- Posts: 4314
- Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:04 am
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Oh no guys, Exalt is using evil alien technology to disrupt us! We better use the human head we stuck on a metal gear designed off alien schematics to punch their building apart and show them the importance of humanity!
Also I'm pretty sure that grenade launch went through several walls and a floor.
Also I'm pretty sure that grenade launch went through several walls and a floor.
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
♬ Mission soundtrack ♪
Exalt medic automatically hits his buddy with a face full of regen pheromones, which heals a laughable 1 health to everyone within a tile.
These guys are a joke.
Remaining assault unit moves to take cover behind the huge statue above.
He fires on Healy, but misses.
Medic heals himself for 4.
Eh, why not.
Oh right... that...
I dash Smiler up to the front lines.
Niku, meanwhile, has two more grenades to lob.
Looks like I can hit both easily, and wipe out the cover in the process.
Cover-clearing is by far the most useful ability someone can have in this game, I've learned.
No kills, but the assault guy is down to 1 and the medic's down to 4.
Minty moves from the window to take up position where Smiler scouted earlier.
Since the sniper can't move and shoot, he switches to his sidearm.
I like those chances.
After like 20 failed Ironman campaigns, I started putting on the "Not Created Equally" Second Wave option, which makes every rookie have random stats. This means a lot of rookies are truly and completely useless, BUT, every blue moon, we hire a soldier whose aim and will are above average.
Those are the ones I try to keep alive, and rank up.
Beat Bandito decides to finish things up at the statue.
Yyyyeah that's a good angle.
hee hee~
Heeoooooohh crap. Someone might've heard that horrifying murder.
A heavy, a sniper, and an assault soldier.
They scatter.
Healy moves to the left and snipes a 60% angle.
Really wouldn't expect this to hit, but...
Well then!
For some reason, it's like impossible to miss Exalt goons.
Considering the fact that Niku is completely unharmed, I just barrel into the middle of the fucking hallway. Fuck it.
Like I'm gonna miss.
Okay you know what? This mission is an utter massacre.
This is beyond farce.
Ceeeeeeeeeeerrist.
Exalt medic automatically hits his buddy with a face full of regen pheromones, which heals a laughable 1 health to everyone within a tile.
These guys are a joke.
Remaining assault unit moves to take cover behind the huge statue above.
He fires on Healy, but misses.
Medic heals himself for 4.
Eh, why not.
Oh right... that...
I dash Smiler up to the front lines.
Niku, meanwhile, has two more grenades to lob.
Looks like I can hit both easily, and wipe out the cover in the process.
Cover-clearing is by far the most useful ability someone can have in this game, I've learned.
No kills, but the assault guy is down to 1 and the medic's down to 4.
Minty moves from the window to take up position where Smiler scouted earlier.
Since the sniper can't move and shoot, he switches to his sidearm.
I like those chances.
After like 20 failed Ironman campaigns, I started putting on the "Not Created Equally" Second Wave option, which makes every rookie have random stats. This means a lot of rookies are truly and completely useless, BUT, every blue moon, we hire a soldier whose aim and will are above average.
Those are the ones I try to keep alive, and rank up.
Beat Bandito decides to finish things up at the statue.
Yyyyeah that's a good angle.
hee hee~
Heeoooooohh crap. Someone might've heard that horrifying murder.
A heavy, a sniper, and an assault soldier.
They scatter.
Healy moves to the left and snipes a 60% angle.
Really wouldn't expect this to hit, but...
Well then!
For some reason, it's like impossible to miss Exalt goons.
Considering the fact that Niku is completely unharmed, I just barrel into the middle of the fucking hallway. Fuck it.
Like I'm gonna miss.
Okay you know what? This mission is an utter massacre.
This is beyond farce.
Ceeeeeeeeeeerrist.
Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die
Now to root through all the Exalt crap we stole to see what we can make on the black market!
OooOooo~
I'll admit I got a little giddy selling actual illegal shit on the black market to fund XCom.
Yeah they never really explain that skull. They don't really explain a lot about Exalt, really.
60 BUCKS FOR THE LOT
hee hee
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