XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

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Büge
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Büge » Wed May 21, 2014 5:56 pm

Guess that would mean... HAMBURG FRIES

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Classic » Wed May 21, 2014 5:59 pm

Wait, I thought his X-Com was turn based.
Why are you letting your blood get hot when you try to make decisions.

That's roguelike 101.
...
Am I confusing you with someone else? Aren't you mad into roguelike?

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Wed May 21, 2014 7:35 pm

You are definitely confusing me with someone who doesn't think Roguelikes are the true folly of man laid bare

It is turn-based, but sometimes, when things go bad fast, I make poor decisions in an effort to escape the situation I'm suddenly in. The accidentally-switched-to-pistol thing happens more often than I care to admit, but that's less me being hasty and more it not being terribly clear what gun is selected on the GUI (there's a little box in the bottom right)

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby beatbandito » Wed May 21, 2014 7:54 pm

I'm now noticing more to the pattern. I always take stupid damage, taking me out of commission for wipe missions.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Wed May 21, 2014 9:03 pm

I'M SORRY GUYS.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Brentai » Wed May 21, 2014 10:30 pm

It dawns on me that I probably should have had a guy ready to kill this thing in the remote chance Niku failed


Having a contingency plan for when Niku misses seems to be pretty important.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Wed May 21, 2014 10:38 pm

Okay... this next mission... was crazy.

Details tomorrow probably.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Niku » Thu May 22, 2014 12:09 am

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby MintyAnt » Thu May 22, 2014 10:26 am

Well... That mission went from "Wiping the thinmen with lasers" to "Everyones dying and the city is on fire" pretty quick!

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu May 22, 2014 10:40 am

Technically this means the entire city of Hong Kong will now be wiped out by an alien battleship.

You win some, you lose some~

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Classic » Thu May 22, 2014 12:26 pm

No matter how hot shit gets, the commander has to stay cool as a cucumber and not-at-all affected by the hideous dismemberment of his friends.
I mean, that thing went from bad to unsalvageable when you panicked. Not when any of the squaddies did.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu May 22, 2014 3:34 pm



The Terror mission is here.

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This was what my barracks looked like right after the last Code Black.

In the five days that have passed, I've sold near everything I have and ordered four fresh rookies, who arrive the day of the Terror attack.

With Beat Bandito and Healy out of the med bay, our chances go from "absolutely zilch" to "shadow of a hope."

I load them up with explosives and laser rifles (still can't afford more than four), and send the poor, doomed bastards to into the fire.

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Mission soundtrack

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Team is Healy, Beat Bandito, Mommy Myew, Papa Myew, Myew Jr., and Uncle Myew.

Code: Select all

<myew> i picked up apathetic to people who associate with the family and the stuff you needed to be there.


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Everything is on fire.

We go right.

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Far right alley is clear, by the looks of it, so I move everyone up, looking to look around the back and pick off the enemy from behind.

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Myew Jr. saves our first civilian.

Code: Select all

<myew> I have no idea what you're running, probably not.


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Papa Myew hears movement up ahead, but we see nothing.

Beat Bandito takes point, and everyone proceeds with caution.

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Healy, Mamma Myew and Uncle Myew move in through the front.

We got a nice, juicy pincer attack in the making.

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Uncle Myew moves into position, but triggers two floaters waiting by the staircase.

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They howl and scatter.

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Uncle Myew hits them square with a grenade, dropping both to 1 health.

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I really gotta get one of those alien grenades off a stunned muton, so I can upgrade these clowns to 4 damage.

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Healy takes cover behind the shelf and takes a shot at the closest one with his pistol (decided not to waste any laser rifle ammo).

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Nice and clean.

Alien turn.

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OH GOD SHIT SHIT SHIT

The chryssalids rush in from the main foyer. There's only two, by the looks of it, which is better than the usual trio.

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They pause.

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Then one rushes up to Uncle Myew, while the other leaps onto the roof to gorge on civilians.

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Wounded floater takes a shot at Mama Myew, gunning her down for a whopping 9.

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RIP, Mama Myew.

Code: Select all

<myew> And fire the fuck i'd be afraid of just down.


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Screams from the roof.

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Two more floaters trigger from inside the courthouse.

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They waste no time, rushing in to reinforce their buddies.

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I bring Beat Bandito around the corner from the alley, set him against the outer wall, and hurl a grenade at the wounded floater and his buddy.

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Wounded floater is toast, the wall behind him is gone.

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His boi is now completely exposed.

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Meanwhile, Uncle Myew takes a shot at the chryssalid standing not one tile away.

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Aaaand misses.

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PAPA'S HOME, BITCHES

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TIME TO SHOW YOU LIMP-WRISTED DANDIES HOW A REAL MYEW DOES IT UP

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Code: Select all

<myew> even if it's a good shot of this association, and not make her the shot.


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Oh, good one, dad.

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Myew Jr. rounds the corner and sets up just beside Beat Bandito.

Code: Select all

<myew> Mothra: Get me the odds.


80% chance is not bad at all.

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Hits for 5. Not a kill, but it's damn close.

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Healy finishes the job, up close and personal.

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!!!

The chryssalid that was going to town up on the roof just scurried to the ledge and dropped beside Beat Bandito!

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oh my god

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The thing eviscerates Ryg and lays a clutch of eggs in his chest.

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He dies a warrior.

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Somehow, Papa Myew survives being shot at while standing in the middle of an open room.

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Not so lucky the second time.

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Papa myew is dead.

Code: Select all

<myew> Not just of the selfish and the plasma beam to the myew that is the perfect ship to siege north korea.


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Outside, Myew Jr. takes a shot at the chryssalid that just ate Beat Bandito.

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Hits for 4.

Either Healy or Uncle Myew have to end this horrible monstrosity this turn, or that's game.

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Uncle Myew, burdened with a regular, shitty ol' assault rifle, tries for the killshot.

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Code: Select all

<Mothra> I love you myew
<myew> My bad friend just linked me that myew kind of iffy and one of your love to be you.


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Healy tries to finish off the floater wounded by Beat Bandito's grenade.

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No dice.

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Alien turn. Pray they miss.

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OH CHRIST I FORGOT

BEAT BANDITO IS ZOMBIE

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Ryg fucking EATS MYEW JR.

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Uncle Myew panics.

This is it.

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Floater moves around the ledge and nails Healy for 6.

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He lives.

I have no idea how, but he lives.

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The second floater guns down a civilian, which, it dawns on me, has only happened twice. Here, and that one on the roof.

Only two dead civilians this far into a Terror mission is unheard of.

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As Uncle Myew gathers his wits, I move Healy back and set him on overwatch.

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Beat Bandito shambles down the hall, hungry for his next meal.

Healy takes the shot, and misses.

The floater has to take two moves to catch up, and puts himself against the back wall to flank us both.

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Healy and Myew retreat out the door, pinning themselves on either side of the exit.

I like those odds.

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Myew tries for the second floater.

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Hits! Floater is down!

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Ryg wastes no time, shuffling down the hall and into the doorframe.

Myew falls back to the police cruiser, and takes a shot.

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Hits for fucking 6, with a shitty little assault rifle.

Code: Select all

<myew> Http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111226084853/finalfantasy/images/f/f3/theatrhythm_anima.png look at imgur, am familiar with that much space that it looks like i just got my second favorite adc under vayne.


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Healy goes for the killshot.

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We did it.

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We actually did it.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby beatbandito » Thu May 22, 2014 8:50 pm

Any mission where I die is a failed mission.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Healy » Thu May 22, 2014 9:41 pm

Oh man, that was awesome! My favorite part was how I didn't die (sorry beatbandito).
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:43 pm

Disaster, a few missions later. I ended up re-starting. Then re-starting again. Then, again.

> NEW GAME START

This time we're in Africa, because I get a 30% funding increase and I need to not be in perpetual poverty if I'm going to make it anywhere in this game.

I've also started retreating a lot more, being more patient, and luring enemies into overwatch traps. It's been a lot more successful than before.

Further, I turned off the Slingshot DLC, because even when I survived that first mission by the skin of my teeth, the second mission wiped out my team a second time. The DLC gives good bonuses, but the cost is too high.

Things have been going well. We've captured a sectoid, floater, and an Outsider, as well as determined the location of a subterranean alien base. I start loading up on expensive armor and laser weapons for the incursion, when... this happens.



As if we didn't have enough on our hands with this whole "alien genocide" biz, the Illuminati show up.

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Exalt is the counter-XCom, a secret society whose council are rivals of our own. Their shadowy brokers want alien tech and artifacts just as much as ours does, but there ain't enough room in this world-saving game for two players.

They hacked 64 double dollars out of my checking account, which probably would have been more if I had any more money. Thankfully, I am almost always completely broke. I dare not buy anything for the covert operation lest my bank's overdraft fees shut down the XCom project.

I deployed Ted Belmont to live as they live, and learn their ways.

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Time to pick her up.

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As an aside, Büge's character is cute as a button. She speaks and swears in French, and after this mission, I give her a little beret.

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Daww...

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Mission soundtrack

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Team this time is Iron Mongrel (here as Freddie Mercury), Niku

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Zaratustra (girl in the back), Büge (right)

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And Brentai, who is now wearing full neon duplo space armor.

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Mission is to defend the comm replay from Exalt hackin', which I suppose is a variant on king of the hill. In Enemy Unknown, you never defended anything, so this is a pretty cool addition.

We go right.

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Mongrel's outfitted with the latest lightweight armor I just finished researching. It gives you the same damage resistance as the power armor, while letting you SHOOT A GODDAMN GRAPPLING HOOK

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weeee

Buge follows.

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While Mongrel and Buge take to the roof, Zara, Brentai, and Niku move in through the front.

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We catch our first glimpse of Exalt, and they're... hrm!

The dapper reptilihybrid technovangelists of /r/CultofSirius.

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They clip through a wall and scatter into position. The thing about Exalt is that they have all the abilities you do, as well as a few genetic mods that give them the ability to regenerate, sense movement, leap up and down 3+ story buildings, and emit pheromones that grant aggression boosts to nearby comrades.

I don't really know how to tell who has what power, but there's probably some kind of indicator I've never noticed.

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Brentai tries his newfound Rapid Fire ability, which lets him take two shots at an enemy instead of one.

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First shot nails him for 9 damage.

Dang.

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Second shot drops him.

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Niku tries for the next closest redditor.

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Takes out the wall instead.

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Exalt turn.

Assault guy banks a smoke grenade awkwardly off the desk, putting it well behind him.

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He seems pleased.

His buddy goes into overwatch, waiting for me to move in.

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Brentai has less than a 30% hit chance at this angle, so he moves in.

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His other newfound ability is Lightning Reflexes, which makes him impossible to hit with overwatch.

For some reason, he turns to face the street and moves into the building ass-first.

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We are treated to a shot of our foe firing uselessly into Brentai's ass as he shimmies about in cartoonish defiance.



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His dance completed to satisfaction, Brentai somehow whiffs two shots at close range.

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Niku moves up, and melts his face off.

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Zara takes the slain redditor's spot and tries for a low-percentage shot.

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It is absolutely brutal, dropping him to 2 health in one hit.

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Friendzoned again by his fellow alphas, he runs for cover inside a closet.

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Meanwhile, outside, Mongrel spots a group of enemies behind the building, but has to drop from the roof to get a decent full-cover angle on them.

He sticks the nozzle of his rifle through the chainlink fence and fires.

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Hitting for 5.

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Back in the building, the alpha blows up at Niku for driving him into the closet. He hurts her feels (and body, with a grenade) for 3.

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Outside, we hear a helicopter as reinforcements airdrop behind the police cruiser.

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And two more.

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Mongrel gets cozy, picking off the wounded exalt from a distance.

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Back inside, Niku shakes off the debris and rounds the corner.

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Putting down the alpha with his pistol like Old Yeller.

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Outside, the first of the new arrivals bolts for the HACK ZONE

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Buge is ready for him. He takes an overwatch shot.

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And whiffs.

She yells merde! in what is perhaps the cutest thing to ever happen on the battlefield.

He moves inside.

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Zara also takes and misses a reaction shot.

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Our turn again.

Outside, Mongrel continues to ruin the rear team's weekend.

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Around back, Brentai moves up, but triggers an enemy's reaction shot. Thanks to his catlike reflexes, it's a miss.

Once again, he exposes his ass at his assailant. It's like a thing, for him.

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His ritual complete, Brentai turns and Rapid Fires for 4.

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And again.

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Sensing Mongrel's in trouble, Buge drops from the roof for a better angle on the last of the rear group.

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Blasts Mongrel's would-be attacker into confetti.

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Exalt turn.

Buge hears something.

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It's a heavy.

Merde.

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By some miracle, the heavy whiffs spectacularly. Buge, however, has now been tagged by Laser Targeting, which gives everyone else a +10% aim bonus from here on out.

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More helicopter whirrin'

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More dudes.

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Our turn again.

Brentai peeks out the back to find the kindly Krampus has left him a gift!

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Brent gingerly breaks down the door.

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And does the deed.

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Back 'round the corner, Buge tries for a killshot against the heavy that just narrowly punched her ticket.

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In a heart-stopping moment back in the building, a heavy bursts down the door. Sometimes they shoot rockets at you.

Yeah.

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Turns out, he just takes a shot a Zara and whiffs. Zara is now tagged.

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Rather than chance return fire from this distance, I move Zara into the closet and put him on overwatch.

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Exalt turn.

Zara hears movement.

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Upstairs, another Exalt goon somehow airdrops through the roof.

Actually... I realize this only now, but I think he airdropped onto the roof, but the game had take off the roof so I could see the upstairs? I swear, it looked JUST like he airdropped into the upstairs.

That explains some things.

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Outside, we get another team behind Mongrel.

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Ted, armorless and with nothing but a pistol and a grenade (as she was the covert operative), chucks her grenade into the group.

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3 damage all around.

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Mongrel tries for a shot, but the console tells me it's likely to leave him alive with 1 health.

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Yessssssssssss

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Buge moves 'round the back and takes a shot at the other heavy.

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It's a beauty.

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Brent checks upstairs to find nobody. I am utterly baffled, and set him on overwatch.

Exalt turn.

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Niku takes a reaction shot at a flanking sniper.

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Bleh.

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Upstairs, Brentai tries as well.

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It's a solid hit.

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'Round back, the airdropped team takes a shot at Buge, but misses.

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She returns in kind, whiffing completely.

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Zara moves up.

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She pushes open the door, giving us one cherry of an angle.

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And I've got a new favorite kill.

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Brent hears motion down by the front entrance.

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He tries for a kill.

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But only hits once.

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They move in.

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One takes a shot at Brent, hitting him for 4.

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Mongrel tries for a headshot.

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Hits for 5.

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Buge takes aim at the one Brent softened up.

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It's horrible and wonderful.

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I drop Brentai from the top floor for a better angle.

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62% isn't great, but with Rapid Fire, for whatever reason, I tend to get at least one hit with these.

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It's enough.

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Niku mops up the straggler.

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Aaand Ted does the honors on the last guy.

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Eeeee!

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It is a complete massacre.

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Promotions all around.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Büge » Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:59 pm

Bonne nuit et bonne chance!

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Tue Jun 03, 2014 2:42 pm

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Tue Jun 03, 2014 3:04 pm

I just realized that 20 minutes passed since I read the latest update and I'm still giggling about Brentai's character doing the gutsman's ass dance.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 03, 2014 3:08 pm

He's done it twice already! He moves backwards toward the enemy, so that they have to stare at his gigantic neon pink ass as they take the shot.

They don't give you that kind of training at the academy, I know that much.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Mon Jun 09, 2014 3:49 pm

Things went bad in Berlin.

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Straightforward abduction mission. One of the trickier maps, as it has almost no full cover, but nothing particularly daunting.

The team cleared out the right side and dug in.

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Ever the hothead, Niku moves up to snatch the Meld at the end of the turn.

Triggering two separate groups at once.

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We score a few kills, but they manage to flank Niku from above. This is a really bad position to be in.

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She gets nailed for 9, bringing her to 1 health.

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Second group brings her to the ground, critically wounded.

I have nobody with a medpack this early in the game, so either I let her die in three turns, or I kill everything on the map in three turns.

Which would be unlikely, if not for...

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...Büge entering some sort of fugue state, scoring critical killshots on everything I point her toward. Like a lioness protecting her cubs, she chases down the enemy and strikes hard, leaving a trail of slain ET's in her wake.

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Girl's got spunk.

Niku clings to life by a single turn, and is ferried into the Skyranger to be stabilized.

She's critically wounded, but alive.

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We crack open the Meld canister they pulled her broken body from.

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And get to work.

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They say only one in a hundred survive the amputation process.

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She can walk.

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