XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

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Mothra
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Mon Jun 09, 2014 4:00 pm

Now to build her body.

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8:49 PM - Mothra: niku i have an important question for you
8:50 PM - Mothra: say you were gravely wounded and the only way to save you was to amputate your limbs and outfit you with cybernetic replacements which would allow you to interface with a hulking mechanical war machine
8:50 PM - Mothra: hypothetically
8:50 PM - Mothra: would you want this war machine to have a flame thrower, or a pneumatic piston punch arm
8:50 PM - Nikumatic: ... why can't it be both
8:50 PM - Mothra: funding
8:51 PM - Nikumatic: and in all fairness while a flamethrower is probably the piece de resistance of effectiveness
8:51 PM - Nikumatic: there's no question
8:51 PM - Nikumatic: rocket punch


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Niku
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Niku » Mon Jun 09, 2014 9:52 pm

Just call me

/me downs enough shots to drown the pain .. minus one, because there can never be enough

Tipsy Danger.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Brentai » Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:33 pm

I was going to comment on how perfect and beautiful my ass-shield is, but that's even more perfect and beautiful, and now my ass-shield is a but underwhelming really.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:51 pm

Yes Brent, I saw that.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Mon Jun 16, 2014 11:47 pm

Okay.

We got problems.

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First off, huuuge UFOs have started showing up and shooting down my satellites, upping my panic levels and exhausting my expensive sat stash. I can't touch them with my interceptors. They just take too many hits. I need to develop something better.

Soon after, I was wiped out on two missions in a row. Normally that would be game, but by sheer fucking spectacular XCom glory, I squeaked by a terror mission with four rookies huddling on the roof, and immediately put them into an Exalt mission, then a council retrieval mission, all of which they passed without a single death. They are now a team of battle-forged badasses; most pink, one Wario, some wearing fedoras.

Additionally, I forgot to build satellites this month until two days AFTER I was supposed to, meaning I won't get any satellites until the start of next month. Which means alllll those red countries will pull out once we hit the council report at this end of this month.

THAT would be game.

I have one, batshit, hail-Mary chance of hanging on for another month.

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The Outsider, which Niku managed to capture a month or so back, provided us with the location of a subterranean alien base.

Clearing this base drops worldwide panic levels by 1, which would save my ass for another month.

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We finish up the interrogation process by folding our captive in on itself and fusing it into a skeleton key for the alien base.

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I finish the key with two days to spare before the council report, and with it, doomsday.

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Better slip on your tankinis, boys and girls. We're going to... Europe?

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Lineup is Büge, Patito, Niku, Brentai, Defenestration, and Angry Beaver.

A few changes with the new team, since they didn't end up with the same professions as the old team did.

Büge is now a medic, and has a different French voicepack that is somehow even more adorable.

Patito is back, and black. She's just a squaddie right now, but she's got Sprint, which makes her a good choice for charging captures.

Brentai is now a Heavy, which means, tragically, no ass dodging. If I get another male assault guy up to that level, I might swap them.

Niku used to be Heavy, and is now a robot, so... the same, basically. I changed her hair briefly to pink, but it looks better white, so I left it white.

Fen I gave this sweet-ass helmet and colored her green. I have no idea what color or look you want her to have, so let me know if you've got any requests.

Angry Beaver is exactly the same as always, only American now, instead of Japanese.

Tragically, Smiler was wounded at the time of the mission, so he just marathons Breaking Bakkugan in the hospital.

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Actually pretty nervous about this. By this point in the game, I should have armor, laser sniper rifles, and Niku's railgun. I don't have the research for the armor or the laser sniper, and I don't have the metal for Niku's cannon.

Ah well ┐('~`; )┌ w/e it's only the end of the world

Mission soundtrack

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After that sweet-ass fast-roping sequence, Brentai dimly glances about whilst brazenly scratching himself.

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With the noble satisfaction of a great ape, he picks up his gigantic cartoon space gun and moves out.

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Heeup.

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Guess we found where they've been bringing the abductees.

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Brent is visibly creeped out.

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Niku awkwardly plummets to the ground from the ceiling, in true bumbling anime fashion. I think they just had no idea how to add in the huge robot fast-roping in after the expansion pack came out, so they had them drop in at the end of the cutscene.

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We go left, because I'm trying left this game.

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Everyone huddles at the far end and goes into overwatch. No chances.

The room is weirdly empty. There's usually something in here.

Team moves up to the first door, and takes a turn.

Once we can move, I run Patito through the door to scout.

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Mutons.

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Fuck.

They have some pretty great cover, unfortunately. Patito is completely exposed, but still has a move left.

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No chances. Brentai hits them both with a Shredder rocket, which does like 4 damage but debuffs them, so they're weak against all other attacks.

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The big guy in the back exposed, Büge grabs her heat stick and blasts him in the face with a hot stream of okay this is getting away from me.

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That's the money shot.

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Beautiful.

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Patito tries for the other.

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n o p

I am strongly doubting this plan of attack right about now.

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From the door, Angry Beaver goes for a 25% snap shot that is 1000% certain to miss.

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And hits dead on.

We move in.

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All that remains in this room are these two dorky little drone things. They scurry about for a bit.

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Hard to hit.

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Beaver is some kind of gun wizard.

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Lordy bagordy.

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Niku moves up to knock off the second one.

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Buut her accuracy with the minigun sucks. I really really need that railgun.

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Drone high-tails it outta here.

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I considering chasing it, but they can only do like 2-3 damage per shot, so I figure I can just move ahead and kill it when it catches up.

Everyone gets ready to assault the next room, and reloads.

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Noises behind us. Most likely the drone.

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It is not the drone.

I really should've checked that walkway.

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Niku moves up and takes aim. 50% chance to hit, which on Ironman, is like 5%.

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She nails it.

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Patito considers taking a shot, but even if she scores a kill, the third floater would most definitely kill her when the aliens' turn comes 'round.

She scurries behind the console.

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On the left side, Brentai and Büge fall back to the main room, and set up to strike next turn.

Defenestration, a sniper, can't move and shoot, so I put her against the far wall, getting her ready for next turn. It exposes her, but she's so far back that there's no way in hell those things are going to be able to see her.

Turn ends.

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Floaters move onto the catwalk.

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One takes aim at Fen.

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Hits hard.

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Fen is dead.

I feel like a jackass.

If we make it out of here, Fen's getting another guy.

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Brentai returns fire, but can't hit shit at this angle.

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Angry Beaver has a more straightforward solution.

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Patito takes a chance and rushes close to the remaining floater. She's got Sprint, so she gets reasonably close.

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NOW the room is secure.

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Everyone moves up, reloads, and pushes in.

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Squids.

The sneakly little shitlords cloak and bolt in different directions.

RANT ZONE RANT ZONE RANT ZONE

The thing I hate most about ghost squids? The only way to kill them is to wait until they strike, which does 2 damage per turn to whoever they attack, until you can shoot 'em off. If you're the lone survivor of a mission, running across a squid means you cannot possibly win.

Whiiiiich sucks.

RANT ZONE RANT ZONE RANT ZONE

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While everyone sits around on overwatch, waiting, Niku notices there's one tile in the corner he can't seem to move onto.

Almost like something's already there.

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If you're so inclined, you can aim your punch at anything within 1 tile of your guy. That means walls, debris, and maybe...

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...just maybe...

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...oh yes.

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Niku clocks the goddamn thing over the head with a rocket punch for 18 glorious damage.

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It feels wonderful.

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Patito decides to do a little scouting, and runs around the bend.

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Nadda.

Brentai moves up.

Back on the right, Niku follows Patito...

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...setting off a group of floaters.

They bolt to cover.

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And then the second squid makes its move.

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Thankfully, everyone's on overwatch. Brent's volly whiffs, but Niku has a cherry angle on the whole mess.

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Thing doesn't lay a tentacle on Patito.

Brentai moves a few tiles up.

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Setting off a second group, on the left side.

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They've got the higher ground on us, and we've got nothing.

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Everyone retreats to the walkways and goes on overwatch. We'll wait em out here.

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We don't wait long.

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Angry Beaver takes the first shot.

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As always, she fucking destroys.

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Our turn.

Beaver tries for a second shot.

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A miss :/

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Niku reckons she give the ol' girl a whirl.

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Meanwhile, on the right, the two floaters from before have just been sitting on overwatch. Brent lines up his second rocket.

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It flies true as the Lincoln's eagle.

I forgot to screen cap it, but this blasts away the alien console, revealing two Thin Men. They run into position on the right, above us. It's bad.

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One floater remains from the trio up on the right. Nobody has a shot on it, so Büge tosses a smoke grenade to give the girls up front a little cover.

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Patito tries for a bold-ass 53% shot on a crouched Thin Man.

If we miss, there's a REALLY good chance someone's getting killed.

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Last floater retreats.

We got em on the r—

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—rsdjaflkajflasf

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The smoke grenade does nothing, of course. I don't think I've ever seen a Thin Man score a hit didn't kill.

Or, in Patito's case, wound. She's down but not gone. We've got three turns to stabilize her, or she's as dead as Fen.

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First thing's first.

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57%

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Jesus.

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I love you, Angry Beaver.

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All that's left is the floater that scrambled away. I set Brentai on overwatch, just in case it charges.

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At the same time, I send Niku up and around.

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The coast seeming clear, Büge moves in to tend to Patito.

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She tends to the fallen as a mother would her cublings.

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Patito's gonna live.

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Niku comes across some... test pools, up there. The abductees sort of twitch, then go rigid for a bit, then fall back into the water. Iiiit's creepy.

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Sound up ahead.

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Niku charges.

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Dawwwww.

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And now to mop up the drones.

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The last one makes a break for the door.

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Beaver's waiting for him, buut it's a miss.

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Niku sighs.

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The room cleared, everyone forms an Isosceles Lock at the front door and reloads.

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Moving in, there's a small hallway. Niku hears something up ahead.

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This is it. I brace myself for the worst.

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Nothing.

Sound to the right.

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Büge and Beaver investigate, finding three floaters floatin' about.

They scatter in attack formation. Either I kill them this turn, or they'll go up and behind.

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Solid kill from Büge.

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Beaver does what she does best.

A turn passes.

The third floater just jumps around, trying to flank us.

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I feel like Beaver has gotten over half the kills on this map, by now.

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Back on the left side.

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Brentai and Niku sneak up the ramp to flank whatever's hiding this this shadowy little platform, buuut there's nothing there.

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They turn back to meet up with the rest of the team.

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Everyone reloads. This is it.

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Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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HHHHGGGGGGGLET'S DO THISSSS

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Aw what.



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...

I move Brentai into position.

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There you are.

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The alien commander holds the secrets to psi training. We just need to capture it, stick a bunch of probes and whatnot into its brain, and let Dr. Vahlen have at the wiry chap.

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Unfortunately, Patito had the stun gun. So, this becomes a lot more simple.

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Cornered, it freaks out.

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Beaver hits it dead on for 6.

Zeeeeeeero regard for the incredibly fragile and highly explosive Hyper-Wave Decoder in the middle of the room.

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Enraged, the Commander winds up something fancy.

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MIND CONTROL

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Beaver is now one of Them.

Which is fucking horrifying.

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We need to shut this party down now.

Büge moves into position on one end, and Niku lumbers up the ramp on the other.

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Büge gets a mind full of alien rays and panics

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She rattles off a shot, but misses.

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Just the distraction Niku needs.

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Done and DONE.

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God we rule.

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Vahlen is like a kid on Christmas with that Hyper Wave Decoder.

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Her team gets crackin'.

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And oh the things she has planned for that wrinkly-ass nerd Niku punched through time.

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Shiiitload of promotions.

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Niku gets a thing that reduces all damage she takes after the first hit by 2.

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Brentai gets pretty much the same thing.

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Patito is now a medic!

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Beaver gets Bullet Storm, which lets her fire twice if she doesn't move.

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And goodness gracious, the goodies.

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We're gonna make it, this month.

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By the skin of our teeth.

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I sell all of my exotic alien horrors to third-world dictators for quick ca$$$h

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And build my basement.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Niku » Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:44 am

thanks for doing this LP it was a real thrill ride the entire way, looking forward to the next one
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:14 am

Haha, yesssssssssssssss.

By the skin of your ass. Or maybe Brentai's
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 24, 2014 1:55 am

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Council mission. No actual reward but a one-bar panic reduction in Canada, so I could probably skip it if I was so inclined.

Buuuuut I've been trying to level up the B team, and low reward means low risk. Could probably rank someone up, maybe even get a capture.

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Mission soundtrack

Squad is Beat Bandito, Smiler, Angry Beaver, Grath, and Healy.

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Apparently the Council's initial response team vanished, prompting them to turn to XCom.

Fishing village looks dead.

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I start into the building with Smiler.

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He pulls open the gate, revealing a shuffling zombie on the far side of the room.

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Zombies mean chryssalids.

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Meanwhile, Healy and Beaver work their way around the right side of the building.

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JES-SUS

Zombie breaks down the door closest to Healy, barreling out with a burning thirst for brain.

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Healy takes a reflex shot.

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Zombie whiffs. Healy runs against the far wall.

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Turns around.

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The zombie's corpse remains hanging there, upside-down, in the doorframe.

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We move on and up.

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At the far end of the map, we head the tell-tale skittering of a chryssalid.

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Smiler whiffs a reaction shot.

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Beaver hits for 5.

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Grath finishes it off with a bold through-the-wall clipshot.

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Sliiightly more cautious now. I set everyone up top, and put them on overwatch.

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Sure enough, another zombie steps out of the black.

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Grath takes a reaction shot.

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A modest 4. Grath has a cherry angle on the dull bastard for next turn, though.

Ain't no thang but a chicken w—

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—wHAAAAAAAAT THE FUCK.

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Chryssalid explodes out of a motherfucking Narwhal and turns to face the team, easily within striking distance.

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KILL IT KILL IT

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KILL IT KILL IT

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Healy brings it down.

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Christ.

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We stirred up something torrid.

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Something hungry.

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Everybody retreats.

Anyone who can goes into overwatch.

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Beat rattles off a panic shot. Misses.

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grath save us

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Praise be to He.

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I pull Beat further back.

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They're fast.

Both fly past Smiler and leap onto the roof.

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Where everyone else is holed up.

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GYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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oh fucking jesus

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jesus

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we're fucked

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everyone's fucked

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jesus

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The Council cuts in to tell us we need to secure that beached oil tanker.

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No good can come of this.

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I send Beat Bandito and Healy to climb the debris of the dock and work their way onto the deck.

Smiler, Grath, and Beaver move for the gaping hole along the side of the tanker.

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It's crawling with chryssalids.

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The lower deck reasonably secure, Healy and Beat make their move onto the deck.

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It's clear.

They move to the railing and peek down into the belly of the beast.

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Hoooo lordy.

Yep. That's a whale.

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Job's too big for one team.

Council says to place a transponder on the tanker's radio control, so the Raven they've got en route can firebomb this nightmare into chowder.

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Healy sprints for the radio control.

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Grath, meanwhile, stops just sort of the entrance.

It dawns on him that there might well be a chryssalid inside every one of these strung-up seafaring mammals, like an overripe zit ready to pop.

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No chances.

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Inside, the zombified whale carcass starts birthing skeleton demon cocktroaches.

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Beaver makes liberal use of her fancy new fire-twice-if-you-don't-move ability.

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Come to mama.

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Healy makes it to the control panel.

One more turn, and we can get the fuck out of here.

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Beat moves to the railing and lobs a grenade at a narwhal.

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Juicy.

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Inside, Smiler does the same.

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Chryssalids start popping out of the whale corpse like it's going out of style.

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We're holding the deck for now.

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Healy gets that transponder running, giving the Raven a big, fat, juicy target.

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Time to skidaddle.

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Healy makes for the dock.

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Beat, already at the end of the deck, puts himself into overwatch atop a shipping container.

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Smiler stays a few steps behind to take a few pot shots at the newly-birthed chryssalid.

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A previous overwatch hit of his dropped it to 4 health, but he whiffs the killshot.

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Beaver, now out of ammo, turns and runs. She's the slowest of anyone, so it'll be a flat beeline for her.

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Grath keeps to her side like a true gentleman, and sets himself into overwatch.

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The hatchling strikes.

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But Grath is ready for him.

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Strike is inbound.

We've got 4 turns.

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Things are getting ugly in there.

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Real ugly.

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fuck fuck fuck

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FUCK

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They are just pouring out of that thing now.

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Lordy bagordy.

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Smiler's about one turn behind, having stayed back to ward off that chyrssalid a while back.

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The hatchlings are closing horrifyingly fast.

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Healy tries for a hit over Smiler's shoulder, but no dice.

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It bolts.

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Meanwhile, to the immediate left, more hatchlings explode into being on the dock.

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Grath digs in and defends the evac zone.

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Didn't exactly knock that one out of the park, Grath.

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That's more like it.

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MEANWHILE, the rest of the team is trying desperately to fend off the advancing chryssalid.

Beat whiffs.

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Healy hits for 5.

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Smiler whiffs.

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Beaver, I love you.

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Let's MOVE, PEOPLE.

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shit shit shit shit

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SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

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SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

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SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT

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Oh god just run

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FUCK

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Grath is empty.

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He moves up with his pistol in a desperate attempt to buy some time for the rest.

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2 damage.

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BEEEAAATTTTTTTTTT

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Smiler takes the shot.

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Nails it.

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Ain't enough.

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Everyone runs.

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SMILER'S FUCKING GONE

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OH CHRIST GET THE FUCK OUT

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THEY FUCKING ATE HIM MAN

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THEY ATE HIS BRAIN

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Esperath » Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:03 pm

that was the scariest mission for me, not just because chryssalids, but also because the mission spawned before my laser weapons research finished.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:52 pm

Oh god, you must've gotten ruined.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby beatbandito » Tue Jun 24, 2014 8:58 pm

The fact that you survived that with no (meaningful) casualties says a lot for how you're learning caution.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Esperath » Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:00 pm

Everyone survived...barely. Once I saw a single zombie kick down a door, and a single chryssalid explode from a fish, I was extremely meticulous about the approach. It was the retreat from the ship that was the kicker.

I sent a character with the leg gene augment to vault onto the deck...and promptly found out that chryssalids could do the same thing. Luckily everyone had decent armor, but most of my crew was heavily wounded by the end of that.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Esperath » Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:01 pm

Oh, and then a terror mission immediately spawned as my A-team was out of commission.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:21 pm

Esperath wrote:Oh, and then a terror mission immediately spawned as my A-team was out of commission.

Of course.

Two or three failed campaigns back, my team got wiped on a standard UFO landing (mutons and squids), after which I bought 4 rookies. The day they arrived, the terror mission hit. The map was the decimated military base (with all the tanks and such), and of course, everyone was gored by chryssalids.

BUT! One rookie managed to get on the roof of that huge warehouse, and it turns out chryssalids can't jump that high.

So, for the rest of the mission, the one panicking rookie sat on the roof, hitting for 3 and 4 damage while the chryssalids impregnated every single civilian on the map. Each new zombie would shuffle around for a bit before exploding into another chryssalid, clearing the map of anything but aimlessly skittering hellbeasts.

He eventually killed them all, emerging an unkillable battle-forged hardass who died two missions later by squid.

Esperath wrote:I sent a character with the leg gene augment to vault onto the deck...and promptly found out that chryssalids could do the same thing. Luckily everyone had decent armor, but most of my crew was heavily wounded by the end of that.

Getting either a augment or a robot with jump-jets to just leap onto the deck from beside the breach makes the mission a heck of a lot more manageable. I only realized you could do it on my last successful campaign, but it basically lets you jump, hit the button, and drop back down in a single turn.

Grappling would probably also work, now that I think about it.

Esperath wrote:Everyone survived...barely. Once I saw a single zombie kick down a door, and a single chryssalid explode from a fish, I was extremely meticulous about the approach.

beatbandito wrote:The fact that you survived that with no (meaningful) casualties says a lot for how you're learning caution.

Yeah, being patient's made a pretty huge difference. I find that if I trigger more than two groups without either a rocketeer or some really good cover, it's just over. The way I've started going about it now is to scan the map for good, high cover, and circle my guys around from behind, which avoids setting anything off until they've got excellent ground.

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Mongrel
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:26 pm

whoa whoa whoa, what the hell is this, using "tactics" and "stratergerery" and shit
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Esperath
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Esperath » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:37 pm

turns out "stratergerery" is the secret to "winininning"
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Brentai » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:56 pm

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:52 am

Edit: Moved to next page.

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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Esperath » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:26 am

So not to knock your smock or anything, but you're posting way too many images per page. R^2 breaks 'em up so that our browsers don't crap themselves.
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Re: XCom Ironman: All Y'All Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:42 am

Yeah, true... I should start breaking these in half and such in order to get each page's postcount up the 20-post break.

Moving it to the next page now.

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