Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 4:54 pm

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The next room is a darkened maze, without mushrooms but with lamps you have to touch every little while.

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The next room darker still.

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Very, very dark.

Echo Flower: B E H I N D Y O U

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...Did Undyne whisper into the echo flower just to set her trap?

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Undyne: ...Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king... King ASGORE Dreemurr...

Oh. That's not good.

Undyne: ... will become a god. With that power, ASGORE can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the surface back from humanity... And give them back the suffering and pain we have endured. ...Understand, human? This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your soul... Or I'll tear it from your body.

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Undyne charges!

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 5:09 pm

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Monster Kid: YO!!!! You did it!!! Undyne is RIGHT in front of you!!! ...wait. Who's she fighting???

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Monster Kid is has as much situational awareness as she has arms, but did buy me a second to escape.

Echo Flower, Wishes 8: ...hmm... if I say my wish... You promise you won't laugh at me?

Echo Flower, Wishes 9: Of course I won't laugh!

Echo Flower, Wishes 10: Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking at the world all around... That's my wish.

Echo Flower, Wishes 11: (You hear laughter.)

Echo Flower, Wishes 12: ...hey, you said you wouldn't laugh at it!

Echo Flower, Wishes 13: Sorry, it's just funny... That's my wish, too.

Ancient Writing, History 14: However... There is a prophecy. The Angel... The One Who Has Seen The Surface... They will return. And the underground will go empty.

That's not a very specific prophecy.

In the next room, Monster Kid catches up with me again. How does she do that?

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Monster Kid: I wanna ask you something. ...Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before... Umm... Yo... You're human, right? Haha.

Sure am, little buddy.

Monster Kid: Man! I knew it! ...well, I know it now, I mean... Undyne told me, um, "stay away from that human." So, like, ummm... I guess that makes us enemies or something. But I kinda stink at that, haha.

It's true. You're adorable and kind of clumsy.

Monster Kid: Yo, say something mean so I can hate you?

What? No way! It'd be like kicking a puppy. An armless puppy.

Monster Kid: Yo, what? So I have to do it? Here goes nothing... Yo, I... I hate your guts.

Monster Kid: ...Man, I... I'm such a turd. I'm... I'm gonna go home now.

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As Monster Kid runs off, she trips. Like always! Only this time we're on a narrow bridge, leaving her hanging on by the skin of her teeth. Given that she doesn't have any arms, that's... probably literal.

To make matters worse, Undyne shows up! Got a quick choice to make: fight Undyne, run away, or save Monster Kid?

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Monster Kid: If... If y-you wanna hurt my friend... You're gonna have to go through me, first.

That's super brave, Monster Kid! Undyne retreats, possibly to avoid hurting an innocent monster and possibly out of confusion at seeing the human perform a compassionate act.

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 5:23 pm

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Undyne has gone around the long way, and is standing on a mountaintop gazing out at the industrial structures on the horizon as I approach.

Undyne: Seven. Seven human souls, and King ASGORE will become a god.

Undyne: Six. That's how many we have collected thus far. Understand? Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed. First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far... I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people. It all started, long ago...

Undyne: ... No, you know what?

Music: NGAHHH!!

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Undyne: WHY SHOULD I TELL THAT STORY WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE!?! NGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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Undyne tears her helmet off.

Image: You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphys's history books made me think humans were compassionate... BUT YOU? You're just a remorseless criminal! You wander through the caverns, attacking anyone in your path. Self-defense? Please. You didn't kill them because you had to.

I killed them because I couldn't figure out how to let them go!

Image: You killed them because it was easy for you.

Or an accident!

Image: Because it was fun for you.

Okay, now that's just going too far.

Image: Do you think it was fun when I found out...? Do you think it's fun when people's family members never come home? Is that fun?

No!

Image: No.

Image: But your time's up, villain! You won't hurt anyone else. A knight in shining armor has appeared. And all the pain you inflicted on the fallen... Every hope, every dream you've turned to dust... She's gonna send right back through her spear! NGAHHH!!! I'll show you how determined monsters truly are!

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 5:28 pm

Music: Spear of Justice

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Like Papyrus before her, Undyne changes the color of your soul for the fight.

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Can't even move, honestly. You get a tiny shield that you can point up, down, left, or right, and use it to protect yourself against the spears that fly in from those directions.

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Undyne's tough! You can challenge her or plead for mercy, to make her attacks a little faster or slower (maybe). You can't show mercy. And as the Check command says...

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Undyne NEVER gives up.

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Of course, after the first time I don't trust myself to drop an enemy down to critical HP and offer them mercy as an alternative to the finishing blow. That sort of thing ends poorly! But, uh...

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I can't figure out how to nonviolently solve this problem... And I only have so many healing items...

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 5:37 pm

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So... as long as you're green, you can't escape. But eventually Undyne turns your soul back red again to try to sneak in a different, more traditional spear attack. That's your chance to run away!

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Undyne gives chase!

Also hey, there's another of those giant ice cubes from Snowdin. Where are they going?

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Undyne runs faster than you do, so she catches you eventually. There's a few more rounds of being green -- which isn't easy! -- blocking spear attacks until you can run away again.

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Image: HEY! WHAT'S UP!?

KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE PAPYRUS

Image: I WAS JUST THINKING... YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME! I THINK YOU WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS!

Are you kidding? Her opinion of me is a little too murdery!

Image: LET'S MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER!

He's so cheerfully oblivious! Ho ho! Welp, gotta keep running so I don't die!

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Taking Papyrus's phonecall held me up, but when Undyne spots Sans asleep on the job she stops for a moment to fume about it, so I maintain a lead.

Also, the sign in the last room says "WELCOME TO HOTLAND". We've moved into the third area of the game, and it's lava and rock to contrast the snowy forest and damp waterfall I've passed through before.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 5:46 pm

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Turns out being a tinned fish makes you pretty vulnerable to drying out when exposed to lava flows.

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It's risky, and honestly this would be the time you're completely justified in leaving an enemy to die -- Toriel wanted to protect you, and Papyrus is charmingly goofy but not terribly threatening, but Undyne wants you DEAD.

But... well. There's a water cooler right there. I grab a cup and pour it over the fish before she overcooks. Undyne stands up, glares silently, and stalks away, too weak to keep fighting.

Pretty anticlimactic!

So I head back to waterfall.

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There's a grumpy mushroom-looking guy in one of the hallways who challenges you to an old-fashioned box-pushing puzzle, but as soon as you touch the box he rescinds his invitation in a huff.

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Image: BUT SHE SAID SOMETHING WEIRD. SHE SAID SHE WON'T HANG OUT WITH A MURDERER. BUT... HMM... I DON'T REMEMBER MURDERING ANYONE... THOUGH I AM A PRETTY BRUTAL KIND OF GUY. THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT WANTING TO... FIGHT SOME KIND OF BAD GUY. BUT SHE SEEMS VERY... WEAK FROM SOMETHING.

Possibly dehydration. Just... throwin' that out there.

Image: SHE STEPPED OUT AND COLLAPSED IN THE DOORWAY. SO I'M JUST WAITING HERE IN CASE SHE NEEDS ME. SINCE SHE HATES BEING WAITED ON HAND AND FOOT. I THINK WE'LL HAVE TO HANG OUT LATER...

So... after all that buildup, that's it for Undyne, huh? Huh.

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The riverman -- or the riverwoman? -- will take you to Snowdin, Waterfall, or Hotland quickly.

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Next time: this mysterious laboratory in Hotland!

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Esperath
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Esperath » Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:41 pm

nosimpleway wrote:Echo Flower: B E H I N D Y O U

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...Did Undyne whisper into the echo flower just to set her trap?


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pisa katto

ImageImageImage

pisa katto

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 7:11 pm

That's exactly what happened.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 10:10 pm

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Inside the lab, it's... me! Us. You. I never get the hang of how to refer to the player character in these sorts of situations.

Guess those cameras we found hidden around before feed here. Which means... there's another camera inside this lab?

Music: Alphys

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As we explore, a nerdy dinosaur comes out of the bathroom.

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Yeah, same. Light a match or something!

Image: I didn't expect you to show up so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and... Ummm...

Image: H-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm ASGORE's royal scientist! B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the "bad guys"!

I'm pretty sure if you ask some of the other monsters, the bad guy is me.

Image: Actually, since you stepped out of the RUINS, I've, um...

Image: ...been "observing" your journey through my console. Your fights... Your friendships... Everything! I was originally going to stop you, but... Watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland!

Hotland is such a magnificently dumb name for a game's lava level. Snowdin is sort of punny. Waterfall is exactly what it says on the label. Hotland is just... well... King Fluffybuns can't name for beans, can he?

Image: I know a way right to ASGORE's castle, no problem!

Why does everyone capitalize his name, anyway?

Image: ...

Image: Well, actually, umm, there's just a tiny issue. A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something. Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some small practical adjustments. Like, um...

Image: Anti... anti-human combat features?

Anti-anti-human? So he can protect me? Sounds great!

...

That's not what you mean, is it.

Image: Of c-course, when I saw you coming, I immediately decided... I have to remove those features! Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so. And, um...

Image: Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood? Ehehehehe... Heh.

Image: But, ummm, hopefully we won't run into him!

Image: ...? Did you hear something? Oh no.

The screen goes black!

Music: It's Showtime!

A voice:: OHHHH YES!

A voice: WELCOME, BEAUTIES...

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Image

Image: OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW! EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT! NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS? NO PROBLEM! IT'S SIMPLE! THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE... ANSWER CORRECTLY... OR YOU DIE!!!

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 10:41 pm

Music: Metal Crusher

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Oh dear.

Image: LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!!

What's the prize for answering correctly?

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I'm just trying to get a feel for how to answer, man! That's a harsh punishment, half my hit points shaved right off just for moving to the side.

What is the King's full name?

Options are Lord Flufflybuns, Fuzzy Pushover, Asgore Dreemurr, and Dr. Friendship. I get this one right by not accidentally stumbling into the wrong answer.

Image: ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME!

What are robots made of?

Answers are Hopes & Dreams, Metal & Magic, Snips & Snails, or Sugar & Spice. Sugar, spice, everything nice, and the secret ingredient Chemical X makes girls, not robots, so it's not that one... Turns out it's plain ol' Metal and Magic.

Image: Here's another easy one!

Two trains, Train A and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7 mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5 mph towards station A. If both trains departed at 10:00 AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?

Alphys, off to the side, bends her hands into a "D" shape to give me the correct answer. It's 32.058 minutes, if you're wondering.

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A visual question, with Alphys again providing the answer. How does she know?

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A Froggit, of course, but Alphys says it's... not...

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...it's a trick question.

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The timer actually counts upwards on this question. Alphys is no help, giving only a bewildered look. But come on, smooching a ghost? Heck yeah!

The next one...

How many letters in the name Mettaton--
But as the answers print out in the interface box, the name stretches to Mettatonnnnnnnnnnnn, curving at the edge of the screen to continue printing. The numbers for each answer themselves count upwards as the name snakes around the perimeter of the screen, and the clock is ticking! If I'd known I'd get shanghaied like that, I would have done this part on video! Alphys signing the answer is the only possible way to get it right.

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Image: OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE!!! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM!!!!!!!! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH!!! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL HER FRIENDS!!!!! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT!!!!!!! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and...

Image: ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS. YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU? OOOOOOH!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I'LL ASK A QUESTION YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO!

Alphys looks appropriately mortified.

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Uhh... well...? For some reason Alphys is not forthcoming with this information!

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Image: EVEN THE HUMAN FIGURED IT OUT. YES, SHE SCRAWLS HER NAME IN THE MARGINS OF HER NOTES. SHE NAMES PROGRAMMING VARIABLES AFTER HER. SHE EVEN WRITES STORIES OF THEM TOGETHER... SHARING A DOMESTIC LIFE.

I'm sure that by now ffn and ao3 are positively lit up with exactly that.

Image: PROBABILITY OF CRUSH: 101 PERCENT. MARGIN OF ERROR. ONE PERCENT.

Image: WELL WELL WELL. WITH DR. ALPHYS HELPING YOU... THE SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! BUT. BUT!!! THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE!! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA!! MORE ROMANCE!!! MORE BLOODSHED!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS...!!!

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Mettaton rockets away.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Mon Nov 09, 2015 10:47 pm

But hey, haven't we seen that dashing, darling box-like robot before?

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We sure have! The puzzle designed by the great Dr. Alphys that Papyrus tried to hit us with back in Snowdin used Mettaton as a controller. Huh!

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Blossom
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Blossom » Tue Nov 10, 2015 2:35 am

I can't not hear Mettaton talking with the exact voice of Bill Cipher.
Image

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François
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby François » Tue Nov 10, 2015 2:46 am


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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Nov 10, 2015 6:36 am

TA wrote:I can't not hear Mettaton talking with the exact voice of Bill Cipher.

Having looked up some clips of Gravity Falls, that seems to fit pretty well.

Reminds me of this audio bit I found a while back.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Grath » Tue Nov 10, 2015 10:05 am

TA wrote:I can't not hear Mettaton talking with the exact voice of Bill Cipher.

After watching the Game Grumps playthrough of this, I hear Mettaton as Markiplier. They also had a great voice for Papyrus, IMO.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:53 am

I got the music wrong in that last bit. "It's Showtime!" plays when Mettaton shows up, but the quiz battle is "Metal Crusher". Links are fixed where appropriate. For now, though, we're back to Music: Alphys.

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Image: Well, that was certainly something.

And... that's... it? Well, I'm gonna go root through all your stuff now.

Image

Image: Let me give you my ph-phone number! Th-then... m-maybe... If you need help, I could... Wh... where'd you get that phone!? It's ANCIENT! It doesn't even have texting. W-wait a second, please!

Alphys leaves for a moment, then returns.

Image: Here, I upgraded it for you! It can do texting, items, it's got a key chain... I even signed you up for the underground's No. 1 social network!

Image: Now we're officially friends! Ehehehe!

Image: Heheh...

Image: Heh...

Image: ...

Image: ...

Image: ...

Image: ...

Image: ...

Image: I'm going to the bathroom.

Okay. I'm gonna go root through all of your stuff now.

Looking at the half-empty bag of dog food: (It's a half-empty bag of dog food.)

Looking at the figure on the desk: (It's a beat-up figurine of a female human with cat ears.)

Looking at the computer: (It's a computer.) (It's accessing some kind of puzzle in Snowdin.)

Man. I knew those Junior Jumbles were hard. Even Alphys needs to run them through her PC!

Looking at a pile of papers: (Seems like the notes to something, but it's all written in chicken scratch. It seems like a walkthrough to a game, or...?)

Looking in the trash: (A garbage can.) (But it's pretty cute.)

Looking at the fridge: (The fridge is filled with instant noodles and soda.)

I grab an Instant Noodles to take with.

Looking at Mettaton's hole: (The space behind the wall is only a few feet wide.)

Hmm.

Upstairs, there's some more stuff:

Light green bookshelf: (Scientific books. They seem very dusty.)

Dark green bookshelf: (All these books are labelled Human History.) (You look inside a book.) (It's a comic of a giant robot fighting a beautiful alien princess.) (This doesn't strike you as very accurate...)

Yellow bookshelf: (VHSes and DVDs of various cartoons.) (They are all labelled "Human History.")

Blue bookshelf: (All these books are labelled Human History.) (You look inside a book.) (It's a comic book.) (Two scantily-clad chefs are flinging energy pancakes at each other.) (This doesn't strike you as very accurate...)

Red bookshelf: (You look inside a book.) (It's a comic book.) (A hideous android is running to school with toast in its mouth.) (Seems like it's late.) (This doesn't strike you as very accurate...)

Looking at the strange machine: (Pink goop drips from this strange machine.)

Looking at the workbench: (Looks like Alphys's work table.) (Seems dusty.)

A lot of things are dusty around here. Is it supposed to all be long disused, or were these the treasured items of the previous owner who died and turned to dust and had their remains scattered on their favorite objects, like the book back in Snowdin said was tradition?

Looking at the wardrobe: (The wardrobe is full of dirty lab coats...) (And a single clean dress.)

Looking at the stack of letters: (There are letters from many monsters here...) (Froggit, Snowy, Doggo...) (They're all unopened.)

...Snowy? Did I ever meet a monster called Snowy?

Looking at the lamp: (It's a lamp with pink fish on the lampshade.) (There's no lightbulb.)

Looking at the easily-drawn box: (An incredible invention.) (When not in use, this bed folds into an extremely easy-to-draw box.)

Looking at the poster on the wall: (It's a promo poster for Mettaton's TV premiere.) (On the flap it says "Thank you for making my dreams come true.")

And... that's it for Alphys's lab. You can almost smell the anxiety and desperation, really.

The music for wandering around in Hotland is Another Medium.

Image

Image

Image

Image

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Yeah. Hotland is constant natter from Alphys's stream-of-consciousness social media updates. Thanks for that, nerdy dinosaur.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:03 am

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Vulkin's not too tough. It's super affectionate! If you give it a hug, it drops your defense for the rest of the fight, but you can let it go on the next turn, so nbd.

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The Tsunderplane was apparently designed by a Kickstarter backer for the game, hence it... not really fitting in with the other monsters. Although running into one shortly after Alphys's anime-obsessed lab decor make it slightly less jarring...

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...anyway, if you Approach the Tsunderplane, the dialog box tells you to get close... but not too close. Touch enough of the green zones surrounding the attack planes and Tsunderplane will blush brightly, meaning it can be Mercied.

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OH MY GOD

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Alphys immediately hangs up, because of course she does.

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What is this, Earthbound? The frypan is the next equipment upgrade, making it easier to attack by slowing down the timed hit window, and more importantly, makes eating food restore more HP than usual.

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I'm already tired of Alphys's crippling social awkwardness, so I'll paraphrase: orange lasers don't hurt if you're moving. Blue lasers don't hurt if you stay still. Thankfully, the blue laser arrays sweep back and forth, so you can pass them by standing still and running for it after the laser passes harmlessly through.

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OH COME ON

Alphys's Friendster update: claws haven't shook like that since undyne called me to ask about the weather... v.v

Image
Heh heh.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:16 am

Image

Image
(It's a photo of a garbage can with several pink, glittery filters over it.)

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Sigh.

The door to the north only opens if you solve the puzzles on the left and right.

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The door being locked also keeps a few of the locals from getting around.

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It couldn't possibly be worse than reading your MySpace!

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This blue laser doesn't move, so Alphys hacks into it and turns it off. After calling and telling you she's going to hack into it to turn it off, of course.

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Anyway, both puzzles are block-shifting deals where you have to clear a path between your little triangular ship and the enemy triangular ship, then fire a bullet to blow up the enemy. These puzzles give you two bullets, so if you need to break one of the boxes to clear the path, you can.

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This, of course, is after you've gone through the door by finishing both puzzles.

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Too slow, chief.

Image
The... floor is different...

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Blossom » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:19 am

nosimpleway wrote:Image
(It's a photo of a garbage can with several pink, glittery filters over it.)


I identify with Alphys far too much.
Image

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Fri Nov 13, 2015 4:39 am

The next room is entirely dark. So Alphys hacks into the Hotland mainframe to turn on the lights! Because that makes sense.

Image
Oh! Did someone forget to level up by eating food?

Image: Oh no.

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Aww, look at his little chef toque!

Music: Hotel

Image: WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!!!

Image
Heh.

Image: PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY! WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING... A CAKE!

Image: MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS. EVERYONE GIVE THEM A BIG HAND!!!

Confetti falls from the ceiling while the audience applauds.

Image: WE'LL NEED SUGAR, MILK, AND EGGS.

I get to pick them up off the counter. Whee! Interactive storytelling at its finest.

Image: PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE'VE GOT ALL OF THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE THE CAKE! MILK... SUGAR... EGGS...

I think butter is pretty important too, but I know better than to try to correct a video game's impression of what a recipe calls for. That was frustrating enough during the last Let's Play...

Image: ... OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET!!! WE'RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!

Butter?

Image: A HUMAN SOUL!!!!

Of course.

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Mettaton revs the chainsaw that he'd conveniently stashed underneath the counter.

But then... the phone rings!

Image: HELLO...? I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE.

Image: W-wait a second!!! Couldn't you make a... Couldn't you use a... Couldn't you make a substitution in the recipe?!

Image: ... A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN, USE A DIFFERENT, NON-HUMAN INGREDIENT? ... WHY?

Image: Uhh, what if someone's...

Image: ...

Image: Vegan?

Image: ...VEGAN.

Then they wouldn't eat the cake for the milk or eggs, geniu-- err, I'll just keep quiet.

Image: THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ALPHYS!! ACTUALLY, i HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPTION RIGHT HERE!!! MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVOR-SUBSTITUTE! A CAN OF WHICH... IS JUST OVER ON THAT COUNTER!!! WELL, DARLING? WHY DON'T YOU GO GET IT?

Image

Image
The counter rockets upward on an impossibly tall pedestal.

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Image: IF YOU CAN'T GET THE CAN IN THE NEXT ONE MINUTE... WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PLAN!!! SO... BETTER START CLIMBING, BEAUTIFUL!!!

Alphys calls in, presumably on my cellphone instead of the show's call-in number. Why does a cooking show have a call-in number, anyway?

Image: Oh no!!! There's not enough time to climb up! ... F-f-fortunately, I might have a plan! When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few... features.

I know! This key ring is really neat.

Image: You see that huge button that says... "JETPACK"?

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Well, that seems... kind of contrived. I guess it's believable that flight would eventually be useful.

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What follows is a brief minigame where I have to navigate up to the top of the pedestal while Mettaton jets back and forth at the top of the screen, dropping eggs, clouds of flour, or splashes of milk to slow me down. You thought the show's theme of "Hotel" was weird? The music for this game is Can You Really Call This a Hotel I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow.

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Image: BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAD THE HELP OF THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS! OH, I LOATHE TO THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU WITHOUT HER!!!

Well, she built you, so... I'm pretty sure everything would be much easier for me overall.

Image: OH YES! ABOUT THE SUBSTITUTION... HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A COOKING SHOW BEFORE? I ALREADY BAKED THE CAKE AHEAD OF TIME!!!!! SO FORGET IT!!!

A quick congratulatory phonecall from Alphys, and we're on our way once again.

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I'm Determined to reach it.

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