Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

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Romosome
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Romosome » Sat Nov 14, 2015 3:36 am

I think they ran into the max limit on youtube titles, the official Steam soundtrack lists that track as "Can You Really Call This A Hotel, I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow Or Anything"

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Wed Nov 18, 2015 4:09 pm

I'm hitting something of a snag with uploading to the new server. As soon as I can find Lady on IRC or something I'll talk to her about it.

More topical: I just realized that you find the Burnt Pan and the Stained Apron right around the time you have to do the Cooking With a Killer Robot show. So that's kind of appropriate, I guess.

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Esperath
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Esperath » Wed Nov 18, 2015 6:43 pm

There's more symbolism to it than that, but yeah.
pisa katto

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pisa katto

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Nov 24, 2015 3:49 pm

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A better shot of the ominous structure in the background. Alphys gives us another call, because I tried to take another two goddamn steps through Hotland.

Image: S-see that building in the distance? That's the CORE. The source of all power for the underground. It converts geothermal energy into magical electricity, by...

Boiling water into steam and using the pressure to spin turbines? That's how you get regular electricity, but I don't know about magical electricity.

Image: Uhh, anyway, that's where we're going to go. In the CORE is an elevator directly to ASGORE's castle. And from there... you can go home.

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Hotland is connected by this weird dual-shaft elevator. The left shaft first floor is just outside Alphys's lab. The first floor right is... uh, right here. Only second-floor right is available at the moment, so that's where I go.

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Sure thing, Heats Flamesman. Even if you sound like Capcom completely ran out of ideas for naming their fire-themed Mega Man robots and just started throwing words together.

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:08 pm

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Sans is set up selling Hot Dogs(...?), although he's too lazy to brush the snow off his roof. Did he move his whole sentry station from Snowdin? I buy a 'dog -- that's apostrophe-dog, short for hot-dog, from him to round out my healing items.

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The second thing I buy is a Hot Cat, because he's out of hot dogs(...?) for the moment.

Then I buy another ''dog. That's apostrophe-apostrophe-dog. Short for apostrophe-dog.

Closer inspection at the hot dogs reveal that they are, in fact, water sausage heads. Stupid vegetarian faux-meat.

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It had been a couple of minutes without Alphys reminding us that she's super-annoying and utterly awkward. The picture is described as being a catgirl figurine next to a bowl of noodles.

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(It is a picture of Papyrus flexing in front of a mirror. He is wearing sunglasses.) (Giant muscular biceps are pasted onto his arms.) (The biceps are also wearing sunglasses.)

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There is a Steam card of this very image.

ALPHYS updated status. LOL, CoolSkeleton95! That's a joke, right?
CoolSkeleton95 updated status. THE ONLY JOKE HERE, IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE.

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As you turn up the thermostat on this barren lava-field, the interface starts getting harder to parse from the heat waves. It makes it a little hard to dodge Pyrope's attacks, but you only have to do it twice before letting it go.

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The invitation is withdrawn before I can accept it. :(

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:26 pm

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She gives me an unnecessary rundown: There are three switches in a row on that conveyor, and I have to hit all of them in one go to shut down the forcefield that prevents me from making further progress.

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She then calls me and keeps me from pushing the third switch while I answer the phone.

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One can only dream.

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LOLLLLL that's a joke right...

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Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars

The save point speculates that one day, perhaps, the mouse will manage to hack the cheese out of the computerized laser-safe. Saving the game here reveals the location name as the "Bad Opinion Zone."

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Nov 24, 2015 4:36 pm

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I am temporarily detained by two dudebros in platemail who only want to protect me from the dangerous lunatic wandering around Hotland, before they realize that the dangerous striped-shirt lunatic is, in fact, me.

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It's not very clear how to win this battle from the start. It's not obvious that you should exploit that the guy on the right -- that's Royal Guard 02 -- is a bit warm, since, again, barren lava field. But if you clean his armor, all the "cooling dirt" comes off, and...

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Wowies, check out those pecs! Royal Guard 01 starts sweating nervously.

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01: D-dude... I can't... I can't take this anymore! Not like this!! Like, 02! I like... I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight... The way you talk...

It's kind of funny, since 02 doesn't say much in battle, and nothing at all on the field.

01: I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync...

They'd actually gotten a little out of sync by this point, but why interrupt him now?

01: 02... I, like, want to stay like this forever...
02: ...
02: ....
01: Uh... I mean, uh... Psyche! Gotcha, bro!!! Haha!
02: ... 01. ... do you want to... ...get some ice cream... ...after this?

Aww! Once the two royal guards -- the first non-canine guards so far, now that I think about it -- find love in each other, you can let them go to enjoy their bliss.

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Just playing matchmaker for some dudebros chill

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Headcanon: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie is a bad dub. It should be Nya Nya Kissy Kawaii.

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François
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby François » Tue Nov 24, 2015 6:56 pm

The best thing about Papyrus is how hard he buys into his own PR. Which is strange because that's very often nearly the worst thing about people.

nosimpleway wrote:Image


For me, that list is Minuit le Soir, Coyboy Bebop, Due South, then Gargoyles, then Trigun, then Due South five more times.

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Nov 24, 2015 6:59 pm

nosimpleway wrote:Image

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François
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby François » Tue Nov 24, 2015 7:17 pm

Image: Thank you for the heads-up, I'll adjust my tastes accordingly.

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Blossom
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Blossom » Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:39 pm

nosimpleway wrote:The save point speculates that one day, perhaps, the mouse will manage to hack the cheese out of the computerized laser-safe. Saving the game here reveals the location name as the "Bad Opinion Zone."

Image


Image
Image

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Esperath
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Esperath » Wed Nov 25, 2015 1:24 am

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pisa katto

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pisa katto

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Thu Nov 26, 2015 5:44 pm

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Yeah, this shit again. Go on and light it up, let's see Mettaton's next devious--

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--trap?

Image: Are you serious?

Music: Live Report

Image: OHHHHH YESSS!!! THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS! AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND! FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE! BRAVE CORRESPONDENT! PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT! OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!!

It's a small viewscreen, so you can't see much, but there are a few objects nearby to investigate. You can't leave, of course. Per journalistic standards, a death forcefield surrounds the area of intrigue.

Investigating the nondescript glass of water: OH MY!!!! ... IT'S A COMPLETELY NONDESCRIPT GLASS OF WATER. BUT ANYTHING CAN MAKE A GREAT STORY WITH ENOUGH SPIN!

Investigating the book: OH NO!!! THAT MOVIE SCRIPT!!! HOW'D??? THAT GET THERE??? IT'S A SUPER-JUICY SNEAK PREVIEW OF MY LATEST GUARANTEED-NOT-TO-BOMB FILM: METTATON THE MOVIE XXVIII... STARRING METTATON! I'VE HEARD THAT LIKE THE OTHER FILMS... IT CONSISTS MOSTLY OF A SINGLE FOUR-HOUR SHOT OF ROSE PETALS SHOWERING ON MY RECLINING BODY. OOH!!! BUT THAT'S!!! NOT CONFIRMED!! YOU WOULDN'T (COUGH) SPOIL MY MOVIE FOR EVERYONE WITH A PROMOTIONAL STORY, WOULD YOU?

I decline to do so.

PHEW!!! THAT WAS CLOSE!! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A BUNCH OF FREE ADVERTISEMENT!!

Investigating the video game: OOH LA LA! THIS VIDEO GAME YOU FOUND... IS DYNAMITE!!! THOUGH I DON'T MAKE AN APPEARANCE UNTIL THREE-FOURTHS IN. BUT I LIKE THAT. APPEARING FROM THE HEAVENS LIKE MANNA, SLAKING THE AUDIENCE'S HUNGER FOR GORGEOUS ROBOTS... OOH! THAT'S METTATON!

Investigating the Earthbound-style gift-wrapped box: OH MY! IT'S A PRESENT! AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, DARLING! AREN'T YOU JUST BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT? WHAT COULD BE INSIDE? WELL, NO TIME LIKE THE "PRESENT" TO FIND OUT!

Investigating the annoying dog: WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY! I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: "A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE." FRANKLY, I'M BLOWN AWAY.

Investigating the basketball: BASKETBALL'S A BLAST, ISN'T IT, DARLING? TOO BAD YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH THESE BALLS. THEY'RE MTT-BRAND FASHION BASKETBALLS. FOR WEARING, NOT PLAYING. YOU CAN'T GET RICH AND FAMOUS LIKE MOI WITHOUT BEAUTIFYING A FEW ORBS.

So... okay. Options aren't too great, so... let's go full meta, and report on the game we're in. I hope our games journalism is adequately ethical.

Image: ATTENTION, VIEWERS! OUR CORRESPONDENT HAS FOUND... A VIDEO GAME! THIS ACTION-PACKED GAME IS GUARANTEED TO BLOW YOU AWAY! STRANGE ENEMIES! STRANGE ALLIES! ATTRACTIVE ROBOTS! FEATURING UP TO SIX ARBITRARY DIALOGUE OPTIONS AT ONCE! CORRESPONDENT! LET'S LOOK INSIDE THE CASE!

Image: ...THOSE RED CYLINDERS WITH BURNING FUSES... OH NO! THIS GAME LITERALLY IS DYNAMITE! I GUESS THEY WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!!! VIDEO GAMES DO CAUSE VIOLENCE! OR AT LEAST THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO. BUT DON'T GET TOO EXCITED... YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE REST OF THE ROOM YET!

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The newsroom backdrop falls away in a neat visual effect that I completely fail to screencap, indicating that Mettaton was literally right in front of us the whole time.

Image: THAT DOG'S A BOMB! THAT BASKETBALL'S A BOMB! EVEN MY WORDS ARE...!

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Image: BRAVE CORRESPONDENT... IF YOU DON'T DEFUSE ALL THE BOMBS...

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Image: [i]THEN YOU WON'T BE REPORTING "LIVE" ANY LONGER! HOW TERRIBLE! HOW DISTURBING! OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE WATCHING THIS! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!!


Alphys then calls in and stammers her way through an explanation: she had the foresight to install a bomb-defusing program on our cellphone before we left the lab. That's... a bit... contrived... but yeah sure okay thanks let's get to it.

Music: Death Report

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What follows is a brief minigame where I have to run around and do some quick QTE-ish sequences to defuse the basketball bomb, the present bomb, the video game bomb, the movie bomb (wait, didn't Mettaton say that script was guaranteed NOT to bomb?), and the dog bomb.

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Only then does Alphys manage to trap the extremely agile glass of water that's been flying around overhead, so I can defuse that too.

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Image: YOU'VE DEACTIVATED ALL THE BOMBS! IF YOU DIDN'T DEACTIVATE THEM, THE BIG BOMB WOULD HAVE EXPLODED IN TWO MINUTES. NOW IT WON'T EXPLODE IN TWO MINUTES! INSTEAD IT'LL EXPLODE IN TWO SECONDS! GOODBYE, DARLING!

But... nothing happens.

Image: ...AH. IT SEEMS THE BOMB ISN'T GOING OFF.

Image: That's b-because!!! While you were monologuing... I... !!! I f... fix... Um... I ch-change...

Image: OH NO. YOU DEACTIVATED THE BOMB WITH YOUR HACKING SKILLS.

Image: Yeah! That's what I did!

Image: CURSES! IT SEEMS I'VE BEEN FOILED AGAIN! CURSE YOU, HUMAN! CURSE YOU, DR. ALPHYS, FOR HELPING SO MUCH! BUT I WON'T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING!

Image: W-wow... W-we really showed him, huh? ... H-hey, I know I was kind of weird at first... But I really think I'm getting more... Uh, more... M-more confident about guiding you! S-so don't worry about that b-big d-dumb robot... I-I'll protect you from him! A-and if it really c-came down to it, we could just t-turn... Um, nevermind. Later!

Alphys appears to be a deconstruction of the Voice With An Internet Connection trope, where an in-game help feature turns into the most chatty, annoying thing imaginable. Alphys turns that up to 11, where "that" is "the annoyance of constant interruptions". Hey Human! What would Undyne say if we told her we were going to save Hyrule?

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Thu Nov 26, 2015 6:05 pm

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oh sweet christ what now

Image: I noticed you've been kind of quiet... Are you worried about meeting ASGORE...? ... W-well, don't worry, okay? Th-the king is a really nice guy... I-I'm sure you can talk to him, and... W-with your human soul, you can pass through the barrier! S-so no worrying, OK? J-just forget about it and smile.

Smile? This guy can't even open his eyes.

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The next floor up is Spider Bake Sale HQ. We bought a Spider Donut back in the ruins, partly to support their cause and partly to have an extra healing item.

(The in-battle menu abbreviation for the Spider Donut is SpiderDont. And if you use it, the message that pops up is "Don't worry. Spider didn't.")

Spider Donuts and Spider Cider are still available for sale here, but at the steep price of 9999 gold. I only have 464, so... I have to decline. The item on the left side of the table there is a spider croissant, despite that it looks like some kind of powerful bracelet. It's not available for sale.

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Past the spider parlor is another steam vent maze, with puzzles to the north and south I have to solve to open the way forward. It is at the end of this call that Alphys realizes she doesn't need to talk on the phone, that we can be friends on Undernet, the underground's premiere social network. She then remembers that she already signed me up for that, and that I've been reading her bad opinions on poorly-dubbed anime the entire time.

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Image: This um, doesn't have anything to do with guiding you... but... ... Uhh, hey, would you want to watch a human TV show together??? Sometime??? It's called, um, M... Mew Mew Kissy Cutie...

You know what? I'm proud of you, Alphys. You're such a socially-awkward shut-in that I'm sure it took a lot of bravery to ask me that. So yeah, let's sit down sometime and watch Nya Nya Kissy Kawaii. Subbed. That dub is awful.

Image: R-really!? It's so good! It's um, my favorite show!

What comes next is entirely without the usual pause for page breaks, making it difficult to screenshot.

Image: It's all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears! Which humans don't have! So she's all sensitive about them! But like... eventually! She realizes that her ears don't matter! That her friends like her despite the ears! It's really moving!

Image: Whoops, spoilers

Image: Also, this sounds weird, but she has the power! To control the minds of anyone she kisses! She kisses people and controls them to fix her problems!! They don't remember anything after the kiss I mean!! BUT IF SHE MISSES THE KISS!! THEN!! Then, uh, and, uh, also I mean, of course

Image: Eventually, she realizes that controlling people OKAY WELL I almost spoiled the whole show but Uhh I think you'd really like it!!!

Image: We should watch it! After you get through all this!!

I changed my mind.

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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Thu Nov 26, 2015 8:11 pm

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With only one bullet to fire, these puzzles are a lot tougher.

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That's a tough combination of enemies, too. Before letting Tsunderplane go, you have to get close to but still dodge her airplane bullets. And to let Vulkin go, you have to either hug her (dropping your defense while you deal with Tsunderplane) or encourage her (so that she does her best and fills the arena with bullets).

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It was my second playthrough before I realized these were hints, and not just Mettaton weirdness. Posing is the most dramatic when things are looking the worst, says this guy, and the other really enjoys it when Mettaton beats up heel-turning villains.

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Well, this looks ominous.

A voice: Ahuhuhuhu... Did you hear what they just said?

A voice: They said a human wearing a striped shirt will come through.

The webs on the floor get thick, but there's no going around them.

A voice: I heard that they love to stomp on them.

A voice: I heard that they like to tear their legs off.

A voice: I heard...

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Muffet: Ahuhuhuhu... You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don't you, deary? Ahuhuhu... I disagree with that notion. I think your taste... Is exactly what this next batch needs!

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Thu Nov 26, 2015 8:33 pm

Music: Spider Dance. Despite having never played the game, my wife loves the soundtrack, and this is her favorite track on it. Not bad for a more upbeat mix of Ghost Battle from way back in the Ruins.

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There's not much to do up against Spidersong. Struggling accomplishes very little, since you're stuck in her webs. You can bribe her to take it easy for a turn, but the price increases each time you do it, and it quickly becomes prohibitively expensive.

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Spidersong's first action is to fill the arena with tea, staining the SOUL heart purple and restricting its vertical movement along the provided lines of web.

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Along these lines spiders crawl, donuts bounce, and croissants boomerang back and forth for subsequent turns.

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Aww, the sound of tiny little forelimbs clapping! Spider Dance really is the best music. Each turn, along comes a spider to give you a hint about what to expect on the next turn, so you can decide whether it's worth the expense to bribe Spidersong out of it.

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Oh dear, that's not good...

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GWWWARGH! SPIDER MUFFIN!

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The attack of the spider muffin marks an escalation in the fight each time it happens. Not only does it chase you up the webs, devouring all in its path, but after the introduction, lunch, and dinner courses, Spidersong's attacks get more vicious and hard to avoid.

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Croissants and spiders! Oh my!

Spidersong explains, over the course of the battle, that she was offered a lot of money for the human's SOUL. The spiders in the ruins, the ones selling spider pastries for cheap, have been trapped there for a long time. Even if the door opened, they couldn't survive the harsh cold in Snowdin. But with the mercenary money from this hit-job, they could rent a limo! A heated limousine! And with the leftovers, all the united spiders could take a nice vacation, or build their spider-sized baseball field, or--

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But at long last, Spidersong gets the message: you're not an enemy of the spiders. You even helped donate to the cause, by buying a pastry! (Even if you didn't, she at least learns that your habit of stomping them and tearing them apart was a lie.) Once the telegram comes in, she spares you.

Muffet's an odd addition to the game. She has no bearing on the plot whatsoever, and while you have to get Papyrus or Undyne to understand you or leave you alone, Muffet's character conflict boils down to "bitch better have my money". This is a monster added to the game by a big-spending Kickstarter backer, so that explains it a little.

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Thu Nov 26, 2015 8:52 pm

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Oh, your hero?

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Screenshots do not do this next part justice. I didn't think to video-record it -- blind LP, remember -- but someone on YouTube's gotta have it.



It goes a bit longer than I'd like, but hey, not my video. Whaddyagonnado?

Easter egg: if you're playing in windowed mode, this scene changes the title of the game window from plain "Undertale" to "Undertale: The Musical".

So anyway, once you drop into the dungeon...

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Image: FOR EXAMPLE, A GREEN TILE SOUNDS A NOISE, AND THEN YOU MUST FIGHT A MONSTER. RED TILES WILL... ACTUALLY, WAIT A SECOND. DIDN'T WE SEE THIS PUZZLE ABOUT A HUNDRED ROOMS AGO? THAT'S RIGHT. YOU REMEMBER ALL THE RULES, DON'T YOU? GREAT... THEN I WON'T WASTE YOUR TIME REPEATING THEM!! OH, AND YOU'D BETTER HURRY. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T GET THROUGH IN 30 SECONDS...

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So while the video above gives no context for the song Mettaton sings through this part, that's what it is.

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If there is a path through, I didn't find it in time.

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But the walls of flame... stop.

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...okay, good one.

Image: OH NO!!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN??? FOILED AGAIN BY THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS!!

Image: That's right! Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You'll never be able to defeat us... Not as long as we work together!

Image: PUZZLE? OVER? ALPHYS, DARLING, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT...? YOU REMEMBER WHAT THE GREEN TILES DO, DON'T YOU? THEY MAKE A SOUND, AND THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER. WELL, DARLING... THAT MONSTER... IS ME!!

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Which explains why, in the video, Mettaton gets annoyed and attacks at the end. Ah, things would be better if I'd recorded this myself...

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nosimpleway
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby nosimpleway » Thu Nov 26, 2015 9:32 pm

Music: Metal Crusher. I dig how it starts out with some noises that sound like those songs mixed on old grinding disk drives.

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You're... letting me take a phonecall in the middle of a fight? Well, it is turn-based. And you did stop murdering me in the middle of your cooking show to take a call. I guess that's fair.

Image: H-hey!! Th-this seems bad, but don't worry!! Th-There's one last thing I installed on your phone...! You see that yellow button...?

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Mettaton's metal body renders him invulnerable to attack. The CHECK menu tells you as much. I mean, you can hurt monsters mostly with nasty intent, the strength of your arm doesn't actually matter much. But this player character is still just a kid, so a robot made of metal can shrug off anything his tiny, noodly arms can do.

Please don't ask me what the difference is between the metal on Mettaton's body and the metal on Undyne's armor.

Anyway! This last phone upgrade flips the SOUL over and turns it yellow, allowing the tip to fire robot-slaying bullets. Please don't ask me how a feature on a cellphone does that, either.

Image: OOOH! OOOOOOOH! YOU'VE DEFEATED ME!! HOW CAN THIS BE, YOU WERE STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT, ETC.

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...did he just say "WHATEVER." on his way out? He seems more annoyed than anything.

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Yeah, by somehow having the exact tool I needed for this encounter. Again. But you know what? I'll go ahead and inflate your ego, here. Thanks, Alphys! You saved the day!

Image: You were the one doing everything cool! I just wrote some silly programs for your phone.

Image: ...

Image: ... umm, h-hey, this might sound strange, but... ...c-can I tell you something? ...

Image: B-before I met you, I d-didn't really... I didn't really like myself very much.

Aww, it's okay. I don't like you either.

Image: For a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up. L-like I couldn't do a-anything w-without...

...stuttering?

Image: W-without ending up letting everyone down. B-but...!

Image: Guiding you has made me feel... A lot better about myself. So... thanks for letting me help you. ... Uhh, anyway, we're almost to the CORE. It's just past MTT resort. Come on! Let's finish this!

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Esperath
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Esperath » Thu Nov 26, 2015 10:02 pm

pisa katto

ImageImageImage

pisa katto

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Blossom
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Re: Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

Postby Blossom » Thu Nov 26, 2015 11:52 pm

nosimpleway wrote:Image: For a long time, I f-felt like a total screw-up. L-like I couldn't do a-anything w-without...
Image: W-without ending up letting everyone down. B-but...!


the feels
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