X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

User avatar
Smiler
Imperisaurus Rex
Posts: 883
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:27 pm

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Smiler » Mon May 16, 2016 1:13 pm


User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Mon May 16, 2016 1:26 pm

François wrote:Man, for a first stand, it sure feels a lot like a last stand. If we live through this, what glorious bonds of camaraderie will be forged between us!

That, or a buck-passing shitstorm of epic proportions.

The thing about this game is that, unlike X-Com, I'm not on the clock to stop some catastrophe. The world's already gotten as bad as it's gonna get. If we make it through this mission alive, I can wait a month for everyone to heal up

Mostly just hoping for those level-up promotions.

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Mon May 16, 2016 3:02 pm

Smiler wrote:

Holy SHIT I just listened to this.

I am definitely starting each mission with a slammin' high seas jaunt from here on out.

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Tue May 17, 2016 3:16 am

Image

Zara gives the all-clear on the tower to the northeast, working his way back in to regroup with Smiler.

Image

South of the ship, Mongrel makes his way back to Francios and gives him a PIPING HOT INJECTION (of life-saving stims and painkillers)

Looking good.

ENEMY TURN

Image

Image

Few rounds come in from that goddamn tower to the northwest of the ship, bouncing off a nearby box.

Image

UNG

Mongrel takes a round to the shoulder.

Keep thinking this area's clear. Keep getting shot.

OUR TURN

Image

RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mongrel gives the jackboot dicklick the ol' stabby stabby.

Image

Shhhh...

Shh shh shhh...

Image

He briefly considers that SMG. It has range, it has power, it has spread. It's the smarter choice.

Mongrel licks the blood off his beloved Princess, and tucks her back in his cleavage.

Image

Francios, now awake, picks up his javelins.

Image

Both regroup just below the tower.

Image

Zara and Smiler hole up in the nearby building, spying a few SS in the dark.

User avatar
Mongrel
Posts: 9003
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
Location: Canadumb

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mongrel » Tue May 17, 2016 3:22 am

Image

User avatar
François
Posts: 1021
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:00 am

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby François » Tue May 17, 2016 5:41 am

your injections are so hot mongrel

i can't handle it

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:07 pm

Image

Nazis start losing their shit after the death gurgles of Mongrel's latest victim come in over the comm.

Smiler moves up to the window, spying two SS standing at the stairs of the western tower - one SS Schutzstaffel, one Wachen brownshirt.

Image

He kills the officer, but only wounds the Wachen.

Nothing more to be done than to duck back behind the wall and wait for next turn.

Image

Zara pops out the door, turns, and spots an SS closing in.

PULL

Image

He crumples.

ENEMY TURN

Image

One shot flies out of the dark, hitting nobody.

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:21 pm

OUR TURN

Image

Zara loads his last cannonball.

Image

Back by the ship, Grath roots through the plunder pile, but can't find another stimulant-packed medkit. Mazian's gonna just sleep on the pavement here for now.

Grath takes up the pirate flag, hoping to use its energy/moral/TU-boost effect to rouse Mazian back to swashbucklin'.

Down by the fence, Francios and Mongrel work their way toward the tower, hoping to pick off one of the paniced brownshirts.

Image

FFFFFFFFFFASDFKLJASDLFJASKLDF

Image

Mongrel publicly humiliates Francios by politely taking the life of the man he couldn't kill.

Image

Smiler finishes off the guy he tagged earlier.

ENEMY TURN

Image

They are freaking out.

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:01 am

OUR TURN

Image

Mongrel doesn't waste the rout. He chases down and murders a fleeing man in a parking lot, as is his way.

Shank count: 4

Jesus.

Image

Zara spots something to the far northeast as he pushes forward.

Not enough TUs to attack, so he and the parrot duck behind the wall.

Smiler moves into position, takes aim, and realizes he's completely out of ammo.

Shit.

ENEMY TURN

Image

Smiler get hit dead-on. Still alive.

Image

Again, somehow, miraculously, he is completely unharmed.

Image

OUR TURN

Image

Beautiful.

Area looks clear, so the parrot takes wing for some scouting.

Image

We've done some real good out here.

Also: On an unrelated note, absolutely all civilians are long dead.

Image

We're heading to that building in the corner.

Image

Back at the ship, Grath is still a far, far cry from the 72 TUs necessary to use that flag.

Image

Smiler's shotgun spent, he drops it on the ground and roots through the belongings of the last SS he shot.

Image

This'll do.

User avatar
François
Posts: 1021
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:00 am

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby François » Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:18 am

Ah, I get it, javelins aren't intended to directly cause harm, they're really more like MongrelWrath(tm) targeting beacons.

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:58 am

Out west, Mongrel moves in.

Image

And spies something new through the window.

Looks like the big kielbasa himself.

John Nazi.

Image

Giddy, Mongrel shimmies on up.

Image

As does Francios.

Image

Up in the sky, parrot spies an unarmed brownshirt on the second floor, probably having fled there after panicking earlier.

Image

And an SS on the ground level.

Image

Zara picks up an SMG on his way to the building, planting a loving kiss on his cannon as he places it to the ground.

We take a turn, now that we're in position.

Let's do this.

Image

Smiler rounds the corner.

Image

Image

Stone cold.

SS in the back takes two rounds, but is still standing.

Smiler, unfortunately, is completely out of TUs. Assault rifle is heavier than expected.

So he just has to stand there.

ENEMY TURN

Image

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:59 am

François wrote:Ah, I get it, javelins aren't intended to directly cause harm, they're really more like MongrelWrath(tm) targeting beacons.

Nah, you can't really "tag" anyone. Should've used a different word for "bounced off harmlessly w/ cartoon spring sound effect."

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:10 am

Image

He just... walks up to Smiler. Does not raise his weapon.

They stare into each other's eyes.

OUR TURN

Image

Smiler doesn't say a blessed word.

Image

Elsewhere, Francios randomly passes out, probably from that bullet he took a while back.

Image

SS is still milling about the 2nd floor. That's our next target.

Image

Smiler and Mongrel move in, taking up position beside the west and east staircases.

Downstairs, Zara takes aim at a brownshirt through the second floor window with his SMG.

Image

Accuracy sucks, but he gets a few glancing hits.

Parrot moves out of range for the end of turn.

Image

WHOA

TAKING FIRE

Image

THEY SHOT OUR PARROT

MOTHER FUCKERS SHOT OUR PARROT

We take a turn. Nobody gets hurt.

Image

Smiler runs up the stairs, ready to massacre everyone in sight.

Weirdly empty.

Image

!!!!

OOOKAY the SS pops up right in front of Mongrel.

He doesn't waste any time.

Image

stabbystabbystabby

Shank count: 5

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:26 am

Image

"Battle Rifle."

Probably the single most efficient, powerful, accurate weapon we've come across so far.

Mongrel scores a three-point shot flinging the gun into a nearby trash bin, drawing Princess from her sheath.

Image

Shank count: 6

Image

It's done.

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:30 am

Image

We killed 24 fucking nazis on our second mission.

Holy shit.

Whoa! Two civilians survived! Huh!

Ziiro and Beat Bandito bought it. They'll be back with the next round of trainees.

Image

Mongrel and Mazian rank up!

Somehow, god knows why, Smiler and Zara do not.

Image

We get back, and I sell off whatever plunder we don't immediately need.

Image

Including a bunch of credit chips! These are completely useless to us right now (as far as I can tell), so I fence them off for money.

Image

Sweet shitsnacks we took some hits.

Absolutely everyone is wounded.

We're gonna wait this out for like a month, in-game, while people recover.

User avatar
François
Posts: 1021
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:00 am

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby François » Thu Jun 02, 2016 2:47 am

you just had to shatter my frail delusions of usefulness, didn't you

User avatar
Mothra
Woah Dangsaurus
Posts: 3169
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:12 pm
Location: Boston, MA
Contact:

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Mothra » Thu Jun 02, 2016 3:21 am

I am so absolutely selling these piece of piss javelins and giving you a bow and arrow. If you've got any requests, now's the time!

User avatar
François
Posts: 1021
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:00 am

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby François » Thu Jun 02, 2016 4:11 am

Arrows are basically miniature spears, I'm all up for that!

User avatar
Esperath
Posts: 1016
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:42 pm

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Esperath » Thu Jun 02, 2016 4:23 am

give me a barbed dagger, a frag grenade, and a beer
pisa katto

ImageImageImage

pisa katto

User avatar
Friday
Posts: 2061
Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:40 pm
Location: A user of Sosuns

Re: X-Piratez: Arr Y'Arr Gonna Die

Postby Friday » Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:25 pm

PUT ME IN COACH
Image

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest