Brontoforumus

I have been playing the bleedin' shite out of X-Piratez, a total conversion mod for OpenXCom Extended. I have learned how not to lose the game. It takes a whole heapin' heap of dead pirates.

RPS wrote:X-COM failed. The aliens conquered Earth, had their gross tentacly way with it for centuries, and then, at some point, buggered off. Earth is now a forgotten backwater of some stellar empire, awash with mutants, human collaborators, and abandoned underlings of the terrifying, but absentee Star Gods. Your band of all-female mutant pirates has stumbled across an ancient military research base. From here, you decide to make a living cowing the world with acts of theft and violence against the filthy human agents of the Star Gods, extorting protection money from petty local governments and seizing goods, weapons, and captives to ransom from everyone else.

So. Who among you sorry lot wants the gory glittery glory of cappin' 'toids across the seven seas?



The crew so far.



Our good ship the #FinalFighter spilleth over with greenhorns and weird-ass weapons.



I want you all to pick your loadouts. I'm down to buy whatever I don't have from the black market, and you can change whenever you want.

Here's what I've got so far:
- Frocto: "Atom beer, landmines, ninja stars, chainsaw, parrot."
- Defenestration: Katana (or a cutlass for now)
- Ziiro: Pistol and Cutlass (to be upgraded accordingly as better sstuff becomes available)
- Geothermal: Cutlass

The amount of shit we have to plunder with in this game is just magical:








Additionally, you can pick what your crass lass is or is not wearing:



I'll get more options as I research different kinds of armor.

Speaking of!



Figure "primitive weapons" is a good place to get the brainers started.



Only got 3, at the moment. They're really damn expensive. I need to plunder and sell treasure on the black market if I want to afford more.



I'll also need more living space, so I drop a cool $250k on another barracks.



Research screen is sliiiightly embarrassing, since this mod was made by weebs (Frocto pointed out that the weapons-loadout screen has Etna in the background!!!!).

It'll only get more so as we set sail.







Well how bout that.

MUTHAFUCKIN' BLUNDERBUSS.

Though CRATE OF VIOLENCE sure sounds like it has potential.

Mongrel wrote:MUTHAFUCKIN' BLUNDERBUSS.

Though CRATE OF VIOLENCE sure sounds like it has potential.

You got it, champ.

Actually been curious what the CRATE OF VIOLENCE is since I saw it. My guess is that it's a low-tech high explosive, usually used to blow a hole in UFO alloys.

Dang I gotta get in on this action. Hand me a spear, because spears are rad and also totally practical for ship combat. Javelins are also acceptable.

CANNON

Beat Bandit will be a a face-puncher. So Fisticuffs seems like the best weapon. Also I'm choosing to assume that second armor type is 'Aunt' and want that.

Considering this is a game where you exclusively control giant, muscular pirate ladies how is the default recruit not a Stush?

beatbandito wrote:Considering this is a game where you exclusively control giant, muscular pirate ladies how is the default recruit not a Stush?

Holy shit you are absolutely right. Changing that.

Okay so fisticuffs are in fact the weakest weapon in the game. Got an alternative? Sledge hammer is usually a one-hit-kill.

Toss me in there, coach. I'm a area-effect weapon kinda guy due to my HILARIOUS INABILITY TO AIM, so once you get Blunderbusses, or perhaps chuckable bombs, I'm yer pirate.

Mothra wrote:Okay so fisticuffs are in fact the weakest weapon in the game.

Fist-i-cuffs

also I forgot I already have a feminine pseudonym and it's 'Beatette'

Put me in cap'n! I have no preference on weapons other than that they're AWESOME and/or USELESS because I like LPers having a Bad Time.

beatbandito wrote:

Mothra wrote:Okay so fisticuffs are in fact the weakest weapon in the game.

Fist-i-cuffs

also I forgot I already have a feminine pseudonym and it's 'Beattete'

You mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad woman. Welp, you got it.

There's a pirate battleflag that I cannot quite figure out the use for. I think it buffs units within a certain area?

Also the blunderbuss is easily one of the deadliest early-game weapons. You really only need to hit with half its buckshot to score a kill, which is generally a sure thing.

Sign me right up for a terrifying life and rapid painful death!

I figure the X-Bow might be a crossbow, but it miiiiight be an EXTREME! Bow, and I want the power of the '90s on my side.

Mazian wrote:Sign me right up for a terrifying life and rapid painful death!

I figure the X-Bow might be a crossbow, but it miiiiight be an EXTREME! Bow, and I want the power of the '90s on my side.

Was reeeeally hoping someone would make me use whatever the X-BOW is.

Okay I did some research on the pirate battle flag, and on use, it refills time units of pirates around the carrier, in addition to giving a damage and bravery boost. That is actually really damn useful.

What's the opposite of the King's Shilling? Anyway, I want in! Seems like you'll need a carpenter/surgeon, so gimme a chainsaw.

Fuck, I didn't know there were parrots. I want a parrot!

Wait what now? That's awesome! Where did you see that?

Parrots are a thing now! They are actually small flying units with like 1 health and the ability to carry one thing in their claw (usually a medpack or a spare grenade).

If anyone wants to BE the parrot, that can be arranged, otherwise I was gonna name her Myew.

Büge wrote:What's the opposite of the King's Shilling? Anyway, I want in! Seems like you'll need a carpenter/surgeon, so gimme a chainsaw.

Just finished our first two missions, with casualties! You'll be one of the replacement greenhorns.

put me in coach

I'll use anything as long as it's effective. Prefer sniper weapons or melee weapons. Medium range is for chumps.

I want to be a pirate. You're going to make me a pirate. I need to be the best pirate and also now I'm in charge of the pirates.

We took some losses in this latest mission, so yeah, you two will be the replacements. Dead people will be cycled back into the living as I hire new pirates.

Also going to run an updating status of who is dead, wounded (and for how long), and how many kills folks' got.

Been watching my brother's kids all weekend, but the mission is done, recorded, and split into screen shots. All I gotta do now is cut down the screens, host em, and do the write up.

Still working out the best way to do this. Currently, I'm recording everything in video, then screencapping the video as needed. It's not great, but it's probably as easy as I'm gonna get.

Anyone know a good way to do animated gifs easy?