Death Road to Brontoforumus

[nosimpleway]

I can always get a vehicle to limp as far as the nearest service station, and also I am in this game as a mechanic.

[MarsDragon]

I'm going to fall from the sky in my power armour to suddenly kill a boss, then just as suddenly betray the party and jump away again.

[Friday]

And we're off!

The first hint (in the purple, it's random what you get but you can read through all of them if you like) is very relevant, with two characters who have absolutely no points in str or fitness, we're going to get exhausted very quickly if we try to fight zombies.

Grath has a bunch of guns, of course, and some ammo to go with them, but firing a gun pisses off all nearby zombies and automatically sets them to their most aggressive, fastest state. So we'll be avoiding doing that unless we have to.



The game always starts with the first ABL event. What choices you get is semi-random, drawn from a pool. I pick the Yall-Mart as they generally take less time clear out and have pretty good loot.



The swarm size is how many zombies are present, with their aggression listed right under it. Both are minimum values. Firing a gun will up all nearby zombies to MEGA CHEESED like I said before, so we'll have to make do with R^2's starting broom and Grath's kitchen knife.



We pull up and head inside. I've taken control of Grath to prevent the AI from using any of his guns. The AI generally won't use guns unless there's a ton of zombies or the character is physically exhausted from melee, but I don't want to take any chances.



Inside is some food and ammo scattered around, a few zombies hardly aware we're there (we walk right by most of them) and shopping carts. Shopping carts are great in that they're high damage to throw and don't require any str at all to lift. Another reason why Yall-Marts are good places to pick to loot.



Some zombies guarding a hatchet, a massive upgrade over the godawful melee weapons we have. I grab it and give Grath's knife to R^2. The AI prefers to use the broom he started with still. That's fine, he can use it until it snaps in half. Some weapons (generally the wooden ones) have a "break chance" on hit, so it's only a matter of time before you have to find something else. Attacking with your bare hands (unless you're a martial artist or a big bruiser) is a complete waste of time.



After looting the main room and all the back rooms, this is the result. Pretty typical from a first ABL. We press on.

[Niku]

just a quick note too for anyone who wants to play along; apparently this game is releasing on the switch next week if that sways your decision making processes in any which way!

[Friday]

Our first "camp" event is a negative one: Either we'll have to not sleep at all (everyone gets tired status) or someone will have to stay up all night on watch. I pick R^2 as Grath is my main fighter.



R^2 does his duty. A person with low loyalty can betray the group here, but R^2 is fine. His morale decreases and he'll be tired the next day, though.

Under you can see us eating. It's 2 food per person per day (R^2 eats 3 because he's a gourmand) and you can see that eating improves his morale due to the trait.



Our next ABL gives us the choice of a fitness gym or an apartment with a BARK banner. BARK banners always have a recruitable dog inside them (just like "HELP" banners always have a recruitable person) but we're saving our party slots for Brontos, and plus we really need to get our str/fit up. We go to the gym.



Thank god we don't have anyone named Muscle carrying any bombs with us.



Inside we find a massive barbell. I choose Grath for the workout, setting the weight to the lowest amount.



The results. Grath's str is both revealed (stats are not revealed about characters until they have to use them somehow) and increased from "absolutely terrible" to "terrible." An hour of game-time passes.



As we explore the nearby apartments for loot, time continues to count down. We have a flashlight, but after dark falls, the swarm begins to move in. The music changes from an upbeat tempo to a somber, threatening track. In the darkness, zombies are faster and more aggressive, and god forbid you forget to take your flashlight with you.



We gtfo with our loot.

Some food, 1 gas (hardly anything, the car eats 8 per chunk, down from 10 because of R^2's superpower), a medkit, and a good amount of bullets for pistols and rifles.

[Friday]

An example of car chatter. R^2 waxes philosophical about healthcare. This one has no effect, I assume because Grath agrees.



The next event is a positive one: some free gas and the chance to use your mechanical skills. I pick R^2 in the vain hope he's got some.



Oh, right. Car nut actually gives mechanical bonuses. Silly me, forgetting my own trait bonuses. The Spiked Bat is a great weapon, but like it says, it can break. We eat because it took a day.



The camp event is a decent one, we can tell scary stories or just go to sleep. Scaring each other will raise morale but tire everyone out. We don't really need the morale, so we skip it and just sleep.



Uhg. The options here basically translate to "lose gas.", "damage to the car" or "everyone takes damage and loses morale". I choose to take the detour.



Double uhg. That was the wrong choice. I forgot it also makes you eat a meal, and we're out of food now. Our morale plummets (especially R^2, who gets REALLY cranky if he can't cook anything) and we lose the gas. Better to have just had the car take some damage.



Trader camps, like ABL events, pop up with steady regularity, allowing you to trade food for stuff. We have zero, but it's always worth checking out.



OH GOD IS THAT YOU SORA



THIS IS A BAD IDEA (and also we're out of food so this just makes that situation worse)



Sora showing off his usual posting skills.



But sometimes having zero food makes the NPCs take pity on you. I pick up a Wooden Log (a massive, powerful weapon that we are in no shape to use with our low stats) and a Butcher Cleaver for free. Sora chomps at the bit to create drama. We clamp his mouth shut and leave the camp.

[Friday]

Right out of the camp, we find another familiar face. Mongrel's medical skills might actually be useful, and plus we're honorbound to pick up any and all Brontos. He joins the party.



AHHHHHHHHHHH SEWER ZOMBIES



AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH INFINITELY SPAWNING SEWER ZOMBIES (Mongrel brings up the rear with his LOG)



We make it out with no injuries and even find a single can of food and some ammo on the way in a side room. Every time to win a "seige" event you get to level up (and earn a zombo point, which is the game's unlock currency for new perks and other stuff.) We pick morale over str because we need it desperately with food stores so low.



Not bad.



R^2.



We split our meager can of beans. Things don't look good. We need to find a lot more food, and fast. We're also running low on has. So far the loot in this run has been pretty subpar, and in combination with my choices that ate up all our early stores of food (and R^2 eating more) we're in a tough spot. But with luck we could find a grocery store or another Yall-Mart.

[nosimpleway]

"Hey guys, remember that one time i played Werewolf and talked too much in IRC and lost the game for my entire team? Yeah. Werewolves. Good times."

[nosimpleway]

"A can of sardines, a can of pineapple rings, a bag of rice flour, a rat that Mongrel skewered while we ran through the sewers, and half an onion. I don't think I can make a meal out of this."

[mharr]

Hmm. Are the sardines in brine or oil? If you can fry it, it's food.

[Mongrel]

"At this point, I think they're pickled in sewer water."

Also, I must be LOLHUEG if I can wield the log... or am I just sort of dragging it around ineffectively?

EDIT: Oh and what do the little health meters indicate? I assume I'm not at full health due to my meter being (half?) full, but does R^2's blue bit indicate he gets bonus health?

[Friday]

R^2 has a point of bonus health because of his Gourmand trait, yeah. And you must have gotten bit in the sewers, I didn't even notice that.

As for the Log, nobody in the group can even hope to use it effectively. I gave it to you to use just for the lulz. (It's probably why you got bit, actually.)

Weapons have a damage value, an attack speed value, and a fatigue value. The more fitness a character has, the more they can swing any given weapon before getting tired. Being tired slows your attack speed greatly, sometimes requiring upwards of 2-3 seconds before you can swing again, and it also saps your strength, making you hit like a wet noodle. The LOG has massive damage and can cleave, hitting multiple targets, but has a 2 second cooldown and also drains huge amounts of fatigue per swing. Once you're tired, that 2 second cooldown goes to like 4 seconds. At high levels of fitness and str, the log and other massive weapons become insanely powerful, but they're near useless for our group at present.

Even a wet noddle slap is better than nothing at all, because it'll make a zombie that's grabbing for you let go of their grip. If you're stuck in a cooldown animation, you can't do anything, including swapping to another weapon.

[Friday]

The red text means the area is more difficult than normal. But it also means it has more loot. We've got plenty of bullets and no food, so off we go.



A good amount of zombies are outside the building. We run through them and inside.



In the back of the building, a room choked with zombies and littered with supplies. After melee attacking with his spiked bat until he was exhausted, Grath finally pulls out his pistol and goes to work. But it's not enough, and the other zombies are only more pissed. It takes swapping to his rifle to put down the threat.



When we try to leave, the zombies outside have all gathered and are pouring into the building, attracted by the gunshots. Though we eat 9 food per day with four people, the upside is we've got 4 people. So we meat grinder them one and two at time for awhile as they stagger through the door, until everyone is too tired to continue. Then we fall back, pull the horde to the left side of the building, then run quickly to the right side and out before we get cornered.



Learning crowd control tactics like these can really pay off. But that 13 food will only last us one and a half days, and we're dangerously low on gas.

Also, Mongrel picked up a hockey stick which is a lighter weapon that can cleave. I assume he wields it with a +2 bonus due to being Canadian.

[Friday]

SORA THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS



oh hey Esper



COOL IT SORA



R^2, use your superpower!



God damn it R^2.

At least you're happy because you cooked everyone a decent meal.

Without the car, we're down to walking.

Walking doesn't actually get you any closer to Canada and opens up the group to a lot of bad events until you can find a new car.



Like this one.



And this one.



We're out of food again. Morale plummets.



Mongrel gets to work. The more medical skill you have, the less medkits you use to heal someone. At max skill, you can sometimes heal someone without even using any.



Finally. We're so low on morale that a despair event is imminent.

[Friday]

We dash through burnt out husks of cars with zombies closing in from all sides. Along the way we siphon some gas from several of the wrecks. Mongrel's hockey stick snaps in half. :(



Our new ride. Esper's AI swapped out his hatchet for a tire iron. I'm not sure if that's an upgrade or not.



70some gas and a food. We didn't actually find any bullets, the game adds in any bullets you had on you even if you had them to start.

[Friday]

Whoa. Never seen this before.



HOLY SHIT!

Just in the nick of time!

Mongrel keeps healing the group as we drive.



Pyew pyew.



Grath is really starting to get good with his guns.



But everyone feels bad about shooting this guy's prized cans.

[Friday]

We pick the clinic, since we don't really need better melee weapons as much as we need more meds.

Sadly, Esper's City Seeker perk didn't proc here, giving us a rare place to explore. Maybe next time.



After wandering around streets and apartments for a while, we find the clinic.



A good amount of zombies inside, but nothing we can't handle.



Overall, a safe and boring haul. Wish we'd got more food, but the meds are helpful.

[Friday]

Uhg. I don't want to risk continuing to drive, and camping also seems like a bad idea. We'll try the house.



Uh oh. One tiny room with a huge amount of zombies closing in. Not good. I swap in Grath's shotgun, which I've held in reserve. The shots spread, making it the best for crowd killing.



The house starts with a good amount of zed in it, and more and more pour through the door. We can't leave until the hour is up. We expend our energy killing the zombies in the house with melee. I took this shot right as Grath ran out of oomph and switched to my Rifle.



More and more zombies pour in. The shotgun does its job, holding them at bay. Grath's high shooting skill makes it deal more damage and have a high chance to pierce through zombies, hitting the ones behind as well. It's not uncommon to hit four or more zombies per shot. Mongrel, Esper and R^2 finish off any that fall down. When zombies are prone, they'll eventually pick themselves up again, but they take massive increased damage while on the floor.

Finally the siege ends and a screen pops up telling us we can attempt escape. We lure the remaining swarm as best we can and then dash past them.



I didn't get screenshots of it, but Mongrel has been steadily healing our group. Right before this event, he finishes healing everyone to full HP. Nice.

This event is risky, but with a full group I feel like we need the food too bad to not try to get it.



It pays off. R^2 finds enough food in the store to feed everyone for the night. I imagine he's glad to be eating something other than fish.

[Friday]

I have no idea what, if anything, a coffee shop has that's worth anything. We pick the infested stronghold.



After exploring some side apartments for scraps, we find the fort. It's raining pretty hard outside, and the zombies are aggressive.



The inside is crawling with the undead. Exploring around, we find a good amount of food and ammo. When we head into the bathroom...



WHAT



I feel like wishing for riches is the least probably thing the genie will fuck us over with compared to asking for immortality or just asking him straight out if he's evil.



He laughs when I ask for riches, and the roof caves in, dumping both a ton of food and a ton of zombies on us. We quickly scoop up the loot and skedaddle.



37 food! We've finally got a good stockpile, maybe even some extra to spend at the next trader camp, which should be coming up soon. We're running low on gas again, though. I forgot to mention that our new ride is a Muscle Car, which has really good stats but eats gas like nobody's business.

[Friday]

Yeah, I'm not giving you any of my food. And with gas this low, it's not a good idea to take a detour. I've got plenty of medical supplies and a doctor. We'll fight it out.



The whole group takes damage.



Improve mechanical at the cost of making everyone tired for a day. Hmm.

Being tired lowers your fighting stats significantly, but only lasts for one day. (Unless you get tired again.) Having a high mech skill really comes in handy sometimes, so I have R^2 tinker away.



R^2 is getting pretty good at mech.



AAAAAAAAAAA A BEEEEEEEEE



I'm assuming the reasonable response of "swat it" will result in Mongrel exploding or something. I instead select PANIC!!! A pity Sora isn't sill around, he could have told the bee to COOL IT.

The car swerves and crashes into a tree, taking damage. But we're almost out of gas anyway, so who cares.

The very next event sees us abandoning the car and setting out on foot to find another one. Bee problem averted.