A few moments of player control.
Another locker: The locker's lock is locked.
Another locker: The lock's locker is locked.
Another locker: (The locker is covered in Jockington memorabilia.)
The last locker: The locker's lock's locker is locked.
Bulletin board: (Are you ready for the Sadie Hawkman's dance?) (At this dance, all the chaperones wear giant hawk heads...) (...and screech at any students that make contact while dancing.)
If you see a chance to get away, take it.
Susie: What, realized the baby classroom was a better fit for you? Hey, actually. I should come with you. Maybe I'll find a better partner in there. ...nah, actually, let's not.
Fountain: (You drank from the water fountain.)
Susie: Heheh, people put their mouth on that, ya know.
Susie: What, am I supposed to snitch on YOU? That'd be rich, huh? ...nah, I wouldn't. Get back here.
Susie: Nah, I get it. Not used to walking around without someone holding your hand? C'mon, freak.
Susie: Well, here's the closet. Too bad... We were just starting to have fun.
The door casts a shadow into the hallway, despite... that not making any sense in the slightest.
Susie: Hey, Kris, is it me, or... Is it REALLY dark in there? What's the holdup, Kris? Are you gonna go in or what?
Susie: Fine! If you're gonna be a WIMP, then I'll... We'll both go in at the same time!
Huh. I was certain the last part of that update posted properly.
Next Time: The cliffhanger that was supposed to go here!
Next Time: The cliffhanger that was supposed to go here!
Susie: There's nothing in here but old papers. Let's try to find a lightswitch.
We'll never know what Susie's threat is, because of course Kris can't leave.
Susie: That's weird... I can't find a switch. Guess it's further in...
It's hard to get a sense of scale with the oddly-proportioned characters and no other landmarks, but if the papers at the entrance were standard 8.5x11" sheets, we're probably thirty feet into the closet by now.
Susie still goes a bit further back, not that you could tell in a screenshot or anything, before:
Susie: Hey, Kris. I think this closet's, uh... broken. There aren't any walls.
Susie: ...Well, we've worked hard enough. If Alphys wants chalk so bad, she can get it herself. Let's split.
You don't call her "Ms. Alphys" like Noelle does, but I suppose we have more important matters at hand for the moment.
Anyhow, what's the worst, most predictable thing that could happen right now?
Is it... that?
Susie: Hey, this isn't funny! LET US OUT! LET US...
Susie: The floor, it's...!
...shaking, rustling the papers around a bit. Not that you can tell in a screenshot LP. But what's the worst, most predictable thing that could happen?
Is it... that the only landmark you have indicates things have gone from bad to worse?
Next Time: Twice the falling down as Undertale!
You've fallen down.
Whereas Frisk hops up immediately no worse for wear, Kris needs a second to get to her feet.
She's somehow had time to change into a sweet armor-and-cape getup on the way down here. And swapped out her menu, too.
Humans can't use magic, of course.
The only thing in Kris's inventory, apart from the wood sword, is the usual cellphone. But...
...all you get is some familiar-sounding static. Come join the fun!
Nothing to it but to go look around.
Save point: By second nature, you reach out, and...
It's one of those "I played through Undertale like twenty times and feel like this detail might be important later" things. In Undertale, when you saved for the first time, there was no information there. In this case, it's explicitly Kris's data you're overwriting with your own, as the player.
When you walk past one of these stalks, it wobbles back and forth and makes a little chime.
Which I somehow manage to miss screenshotting until I get to this text box.
I missed the screenshot, but a shadowy form on that cliff up there darted offscreen as Kris approached.
Once you slide down, there's no going back up, but what could be up there worth revisiting anyway?
Only one of the holes in the walls is worth the time spent investigating it. Inside is a "Glowshard", but what it does remains a mystery.
That one's red.
Because as you walk by it wobbles, chimes, and also tries to kill you with magic bullets fired at your soul, the very culmination of your being.
There are a couple more, but they don't aim those three-shot bursts, so it's not actually a problem to get past.
Save point: A power shines within you, breaking through the darkness. Any pain you may have had melted away...
Save points restore HP to full.
As in Undertale, the underground is full of puzzles. A combination of doorkeys and diversions.
Each hole toggles the eyes on the wall open or closed. The pattern above the hole tells you what to expect.
Close all the eyes to proceed.
Another shadow darts off from the top cliff.
The dust poffs aren't new, but these are the first ones you can investigate.
The shadowy figure wasn't all that suspenseful or scary when you remember that Kris didn't fall down by herself. Just as Kris is wearing a breastplate and cape, Susie is wearing leathers with studs and heavy boots.
...Susie is still the same shade of purple as she was at school. Kris turned blue, which up til now I'd figured was to simulate the low-light conditions in wherever-they-are-now. Hmm.
Susie: ... K... Kris?! Phew...
Susie: ...Hey, don't scare me like that, dumbass! Unless you WANT to get clocked in the face, heh.
Susie: ...anyway, enough screwing around. We gotta find a way out of here.
Susie: Ummm... Where is "here", anyway...? It doesn't matter! YOU got us into this mess, YOU get us out!
I'm sure pointing out that Susie started it by eating all the class chalk would be a meaningful and productive conversation. Not like Kris ever says anything anyway.
Susie has more explicit abilities than Kris does. As you might expect, her Attack is higher and her Magic, being a monster, is nonzero. Her one and only spell shares a name with the battle theme on the soundtrack, and is listed as doing "Rude-elemental" damage.
Check Susie's status screen while you can, because...
She's off like a shot on the next screen.
This is as elaborate as the background has gotten so far.
Oh, I know this part. It's supposed to be a lot scarier than it is, so that when you get the ol' whoopie-cushion-in-the-hand trick, it...
...is... funnier... that...
THAT WAY RUN THAT WAY GO GO GO
Spade-shaped arrows rain from above constantly. Since you've got the soul heart visible as you run around, you can be sure that getting hit by one does HP damage.
There's more on the way down this very, very long slide. I played through Undertale with a controller but I've gotten this far using only the keyboard, so actually needing some precision in my movements means I take a hit or two on the way down.
You've fallen down-er.
Susie seems no worse for wear.
Susie: Got any idea what the heck this place is? ...me neither. Wonder if there's anyone in that building up there?
Which building? Doesn't matter, I guess. All of these are locked and abandoned, and in fact appear to be completely flat facades.
Save point: A black geyser emerges from it, piercing endlessly into the sky. The power of this place shines within you.
That is indeed a black geyser, but "sky" is certainly an interesting choice of words. Are we not in another giant cavern this game?
Next Time: Backstory!
Susie: Why the hell is there a castle inside a supply closet...?
Susie: Who's there?!
Disembodied voice: Do not be alarmed... I am not your enemy. Please come forward, both of you...
Mysterious hooded figure: The KINGDOM of DARKNESS.
Like in Undertale, some words are colored for emphasis. There's a nice gradient effect this time! But it's still mostly yellow, which works great on a black background and not very great on the baby-aspirin pink of a dinosaur-themed forum. So I'll be recoloring yellow text to a darker orange for better contrast.
Mysterious hooded figure: Kris, Susie... There is a LEGEND in this land. A LEGEND that one day, two HEROES of LIGHT will arrive, And fulfill the ancient prophecy, foretold by time and space.
"One to be born from a dragon..." no wait
Mysterious hooded figure: Please, Heroes... Listen to my tale...
Not like I got anything better to do. But make it quick, Susie looks impatient.
...ows. Shadows. A bit too quick on the screenshot button for the automated sequence.
It was a LEGEND of HOPE. It was a LEGEND of DREAMS.
It was a LEGEND of LIGHT. It was a LEGEND of DARK.
Bringing peace to the WORLD. But if this harmony were to shatter... A terrible calamity would occur.
And the land will crack with fear. Then, her heart pounding... The EARTH will draw her final breath.
Only then, shining with hope...
Who could they be?
Hey, that's a pretty cool image. It'd make a great promotional banner.
And banish the ANGEL'S HEAVEN. Only then will balance be restored, And the WORLD saved from destruction.
ANGEL's HEAVEN seems like something that might be a meaningful anagram, but unless I missed the SAGE NAVEL HEN in Undertale somewhere I can't think of what it might be.
The geyser that gives this land form -- Stands tall at the center of the kingdom.
And with it, the balance of LIGHT and DARK begins to shift...
Eh, you kept it brief enough. It was an Under Three Minutes Tale.
Mysterious hooded figure: I deeply believe you two are the HEROES of LEGEND. That despite whatever enemies you may face... ...You two have the COURAGE to SAVE THE WORLD. DELTA WARRIORS! Please, won't you accept your destiny...?
Mysterious hooded figure: W... what?
Susie: Me? Some kind of hero or something...? You've got the wrong person.
Mysterious hooded figure: B-but Susie, without you, the... the world will...
Susie: So what? If the world gets destroyed... It's none of my damn business. Might even be kind of fun, honestly.
Mysterious hooded figure: ...
Susie: Anyway, Kris... If YOU wanna play pretend with this weirdo... Stick around. I'M going to find a way out of here.
Mysterious hooded figure: Susie... Wait!
But before the mysterious hooded figure can get out another word, they're run over by yet another character whose eyes are hidden. There's an explosion behind the bike on impact, the kind you'd see in a .gif loop on a Geocities page circa 1997.
Spade: Ho ho ho! The heroes are already running away... And they didn't even know I was here. My dad's gonna make me Son of the Month!
A goofy character seeking meaningless prestige that I will, doubtless, have to fight? If I pull back that hood, am I going to see a skull all drawn with sharp angles? Do I smell spaghetti?
Susie: Who the hell are you!?
And here the guy whistles and does a little pirouette, but he's only drawn this one way, so it's a basic Photoshop rotate. You can tell it's a flat sprite.
The Bad Guy: The bad guy.
The Bad Guy: You CLOWNS want to seal our DARK FOUNTAIN, huh!?
Great, you bark random words out like that other guy does.
The Bad Guy: And -- STILL picturing you guys as CLOWNS -- Save the world from ETERNAL DARKNESS, huh!?
The Bad Guy: Don't try to deny it...! We both know you'll go EAST! It's your only way home! But, I, LANCER, won't let you go there!
Man do you guys have a pattern for which words get the all-caps-and-color treatment and which ones are just all caps or what
Lancer: And I've got a flawless two step plan to ensure it. Step one. I thrash you. Step two. You lose!
Susie: Hmm. Nice plan, kid.
Susie: Yeah, actually... Mind if we use it on you instead?
This last line is delivered with the nightmare face, so you know Susie means business.
It's a fight! As mentioned before, the battle theme is Rude Buster. It's one of the few pieces of music I know where it goes, I'll have to retrofit the soundtrack onto my posts whenever I replay the game.
Remember back when I was looking at Susie's status screen and it said that all she does is fight? I don't even get a command menu for her. She just starts swingin'.
There is, as in Undertale, humorous descriptive text available. It goes on to say that Lancer isn't old enough to ride a motorcycle, so he set his bike on fire.
Half the time Lancer just revs straight past and off the left side of the screen, tackling the soul heart. The other half of the time he wheelies up the left wall and across the top of the screen, throwing spade-shaped bullets like before.
I have two party members but only one soul heart in the bullet box. When an enemy gives his pre-attack quote, a TARGET reticle appears on whoever is going to take HP damage on a hit.
Like most boss battles throughout Undertale, this intro fight is on a timer. Or maybe Susie got enough HP damage in. Whatever.
Lancer: My bike's running out of fuel...! Alright, you punk-a-roos! You had the luck of the draw this time, but... Next time, the losers will be YOU!!! Hahaha!!! Bye, losers!! I gotta get home before dinner!!!
And away he goes. We get 0 exp and D$38. I don't know what the D stands for yet... and since the first Undertale my friends and I have started using "muns" to refer to whatever currency is in whatever game we're playing, so I'm probably just going to think of them as muns for a while.
Mysterious hooded figure: Um, allow me to introduce myself more properly, I am...
Susie: Geez, can you take off that hood? I can barely hear you under there.
Mysterious hooded figure: U-ummm, alright...
Fluffy, friendly, huggable. Prince. RalsBOY WE SURE DO LOVE OUR ANAGRAMS DON'T WE
Ralsei: Kris, Susie... It's ever so wonderful to meet you! I'm certain we're going to become great friends, and
Susie: Best way to leave is East, right?
Ralsei: Yes! That's where we'll...
Susie: Got it. See ya at school, Kris.
Ralsei: Umm... I suppose it's just the two of us, then...
Kris still isn't talking much by herself, as long as there's still a mouthpiece character I guess it doesn't matter who it is.
Ralsei: Kris, I'm a PRINCE, but... I, um, currently don't have any subjects. I've been waiting along here... Um... My whole life for you two to arrive.
Oh man, you had to stay here by yourself to explain the plot to people, and one of them was Susie? That's rough, buddy.
Ralsei: So... I'm really happy to meet you. I hope we can be good friends, Kris. Let's try to find Susie. She must be to the southeast.
Save point: The power of fluffy boys shines within you.
Next time: Within a deep forest!
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