Let's all go to the movies~
- Mongrel
- Posts: 21290
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
- Location: There's winners and there's losers // And I'm south of that line
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
So apparently everywhere else they're raving about Inside Out. Now I haven't seen it, so I can't speak, but are we just the grouches in this case?
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Khaleesi shoot Robot is pretty good. It's got a 26% critic and 72% audience at RT which makes sense because it's very silly and critics fucking HATE silly unless it comes wrapped in a bow and wrapping paper clearly labeled as such.
It mines nostalgia so hard it might as well be called "Final Fantasy VII: The Remake" and lacks any real grit like the first two movies had, but it still manages to be fun and not so fucking stupid it causes you to shoot blood out of your eyes until you drown, and also A FEMALE TERMINATOR! MY STARS AND GARTERS!
I think they forgot that bad guy terminators are scary because they don't talk much, though.
FRIDAY'S HANDY CHART
The Terminator: 8.5/10
A classic. Nothing more to be said. Ok, I lied. Michael Biehn.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day: 10/10
Pretty much the best movie? idk fuck you if you don't think so
Terminator 3: Jesus christ the blood it's filling the entire theatre help someone help we're all going to drown: 2/10
Holy shit the blood guys please somebody help
Terminator Salvation: 5/10
I'd give this a higher score if the second act made any fucking sense. Still it's got a pretty decent post apocalyptic vibe going on and it's certainly fucking leagues better than 3.
Terminator: Jorah now also hates Kyle Reese: 7/10
GUYS WHAT IF THE THIRD MOVIE NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED BECAUSE OF AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHERE SKYNET WAS BUILT BY JOHN CONNOR INFECTED BY SKYNET SENT BACK BY THAT ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE ok that's insane but we're going with it because then 3 will never have happened
It mines nostalgia so hard it might as well be called "Final Fantasy VII: The Remake" and lacks any real grit like the first two movies had, but it still manages to be fun and not so fucking stupid it causes you to shoot blood out of your eyes until you drown, and also A FEMALE TERMINATOR! MY STARS AND GARTERS!
I think they forgot that bad guy terminators are scary because they don't talk much, though.
FRIDAY'S HANDY CHART
The Terminator: 8.5/10
A classic. Nothing more to be said. Ok, I lied. Michael Biehn.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day: 10/10
Pretty much the best movie? idk fuck you if you don't think so
Terminator 3: Jesus christ the blood it's filling the entire theatre help someone help we're all going to drown: 2/10
Holy shit the blood guys please somebody help
Terminator Salvation: 5/10
I'd give this a higher score if the second act made any fucking sense. Still it's got a pretty decent post apocalyptic vibe going on and it's certainly fucking leagues better than 3.
Terminator: Jorah now also hates Kyle Reese: 7/10
GUYS WHAT IF THE THIRD MOVIE NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED BECAUSE OF AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHERE SKYNET WAS BUILT BY JOHN CONNOR INFECTED BY SKYNET SENT BACK BY THAT ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE ok that's insane but we're going with it because then 3 will never have happened
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Jurassic World is good big dumb spectacle with a smattering of good but underused ideas throughout. The whole idea of exploring it like it's a real, major theme park, on the scale of Disneyland or, less subtly, Sea World, is a smart one; unfortunately in practice all it really leads to is a scene where for some reason pterodactyls really like picking people up and then dropping them from great heights. The sense that this version of the park is operating on a bigger scale than the original really never quite surfaces the way it should.
The movie, at its smartest, is self-aware about the movie at its dumbest. There are characters who complain, in dialogue, about all the product placement all over the park (I did see a Jurassic Park-branded can of Barbasol at the store the other day and admit it made me chuckle), and about how the new dinosaur is Poochiesaurus rex, a completely inane artificial creation by committee, designed to be "extreme" and foisted on audiences who should fucking-well still be excited by the dinosaurs we've already got but aren't anymore.
The climax of the film has the classic Jurassic Park predators, the T rex and the raptors, kill Poochiesaurus rex. It is very satisfying.
I saw it in 3D and the 3D was pretty good, though it suffered every time there was a camera shot through glass (a window, a windshield, a rearview mirror), and occasionally showed images in 3D that should have been flat (like the aforementioned rearview mirror).
It was pretty good, though. I'd rank the series as 1 > World > 3 > Lost World.
The movie, at its smartest, is self-aware about the movie at its dumbest. There are characters who complain, in dialogue, about all the product placement all over the park (I did see a Jurassic Park-branded can of Barbasol at the store the other day and admit it made me chuckle), and about how the new dinosaur is Poochiesaurus rex, a completely inane artificial creation by committee, designed to be "extreme" and foisted on audiences who should fucking-well still be excited by the dinosaurs we've already got but aren't anymore.
The climax of the film has the classic Jurassic Park predators, the T rex and the raptors, kill Poochiesaurus rex. It is very satisfying.
I saw it in 3D and the 3D was pretty good, though it suffered every time there was a camera shot through glass (a window, a windshield, a rearview mirror), and occasionally showed images in 3D that should have been flat (like the aforementioned rearview mirror).
It was pretty good, though. I'd rank the series as 1 > World > 3 > Lost World.
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Spy was really fucking good/funny.
Jason Statham plays a parody of every single other role he's ever done. It's incredible.
I haven't seen a comedy/spoof movie this good since Spaceballs.
Jason Statham plays a parody of every single other role he's ever done. It's incredible.
I haven't seen a comedy/spoof movie this good since Spaceballs.
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Thad wrote:occasionally showed images in 3D that should have been flat (like the aforementioned rearview mirror).
I'm pretty sure that either steroscopic vision works just fine with mirrors, or I've discovered that I have yet another useless superpower.
Or did you mean that it would have worked better as a flat image?
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
This is going to be atrocious. I don't know what I love better, the hideously fake CG, or Superman's loyal army of nazis.
- TedBelmont
- Posts: 472
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
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- beatbandito
- Posts: 4300
- Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:04 am
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
TA wrote:This is going to be atrocious. I don't know what I love better, the hideously fake CG, or Superman's loyal army of nazis.
There was barely a frame, but it looked like adult bruce wayne went back in time to kill his parents.
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
TedBelmont wrote:Or Lex's hilariously bad wig!
That was the only thing to date that has suggested that this movie might have any sense of levity or self-awareness. I don't think we should put the single instance of something being funny on purpose in the same category as the multiple cases of things being funny by accident.
I think I'm the only person I know who heard Eisenberg was playing Lex Luthor and whose reaction was a kind of slow-burn "...okay, that's fucking brilliant." Taking the guy who's best known for playing Mark Zuckerberg and casting him as Lex is a really, really good idea, as far as I'm concerned.
I DO think the trailer suggests they're pushing him too far into Hackman/Spacey camp territory. And while, again, I think Snyder's bleak gray world desperately needs some levity, there's a pretty big difference between levity and self-parody. It looks like there's plenty of self-parody at work here already without piling more on top of it.
On the one hand, I tend to find it pretty off-putting when people on the Internet say "This movie is going to suck" about something nobody has actually seen yet. On the other, well, I sure haven't seen any evidence that this movie will fit my particular standards of enjoyment, and Man of Steel sure didn't. I'll probably catch it on video at some point (Rifftrax?) but I sure can't see myself seeing it in the theater.
Mothra wrote:
...yeah, after all the Dark Knight Returns stuff I must admit I was pretty surprised that it turned into Red Son at the end there.
I mean, Red Son in a goddamn desert for some reason; I don't even know.
- beatbandito
- Posts: 4300
- Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:04 am
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Because the current generation automatically recognizes people that live in desserts as evil.
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Hansel and Gretel was just anti-witch propaganda!
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Brentai wrote:Hansel and Gretel was just anti-witch propaganda!
You forget that it was also wonderful.
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Just noticed that Bob Kane gets the sole creator credit for Batman at the end there. Oof.
- TedBelmont
- Posts: 472
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Yeah, Kane got an airtight contract mandating that he get sole creator credit, and his heirs have not relaxed it. (That said, DC could try and hunt for loopholes -- things like "Gotham City created by Bill Finger", stuff like that -- and hasn't. Still, they've made some progress over the past few years both in terms of reprint credits and compensation for Athena Finger, and that's not nothin'.) Mark Evanier has noted that, increasingly, the "Batman created by Bob Kane" credit is doing more harm to Kane's legacy than good, and sooner or later his estate is likely to realize that and allow the joint credit.
Re: Let's all go to the movies~
Good news, everyone! 20th Century Fox would like to compete for "Worst Superhero Movie 2015". Watch the disappearing tank turret!
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