Star Wars

[Spram]

Apparently as soon as he got home he asked his dad "Do we have Star Wars here?" so I think that counts as a success.

When my little brother watched Back to the Future 2, he thought the "future" was an actual place and really really wanted to go there.

Saw movie

If Death Star #4 doesn't show up in a following movie, I'm going to be sad.

Of course, it has to be a trap! They build a big round planet-killing machine with an really big obvious weakness... only this time when the x-wings go inside the hole to shoot the shiny weakpoint, the hole closes and zaps them all, like a giant bug zapper. General Akbar looks at the camera at a loss of words.

and of course, the round planet shooter has to be bigger than a planet now (they get bigger) so instead of a laser built on a planet, it's a laser built on a star! And Death Star #5 will be built on a super massive black hole.

I liked the movie a lot because I didn't expect it to be as good as the originals since I saw those when I was a child and nothing is ever as good as when you're a kid. Some thoughts:

1. Why is Finn the only stormtrooper with a conscience?

2. Rey flies the Millenium Falcon through the giant wreck's inside a little too well. I don't mind her fighting Kylo Ren with a lightsaber since he was wounded but her piloting skills were too good. She was too poor and young to have piloted a spaceship before. I think.

3. I think it was stupid that Chewbacca was a spy for the U.L.T.R.O.S.S. League. You're telling me that after 4 movies being the hero he suddenly switches sides just because he falls in love with that doctor lady, who just so happens to be a resurrected Greedo? I can believe the Bownie Toodles being back from Sector Z, but this is BULLSHIT

[Spooky Skeleton]

I think I finally understand Mongrel's thoughts in this film.

[Spooky Skeleton]

​I was thinking about star wars and light saber fights.

​
A thing about sword fighting that a lot of people don't know and that movies often get wrong in their choreography of sword fights a lot, is where people hold their sword when they fight. Holding your sword hand forwards in a sort of basic "en guard" position--like most people would probably adopt if you told them to pretend to sword fight--wasn't actually very prevalent in the actual fencing of people who knew what they were doing, until the renaissance and after. It's really a "saber" fencing stance because it was dangerous to have your sword hand that forward until swords started having fully developed hand guards like a saber or rapier has. Even when you have a cross style guard with two quillions, someone could pretty easily hit you in the hand.
​
If you look at medieval fencing manuals or stuff from even further back, people tended to hold their sword such that their hand was back and out of the way. Unless they had a buckler to hold up and protect their hand with, like typical sword and buckler pictures you see where the guy is guarding his sword hand with the buckler sometimes when his hand is in a forward position.

Anyway, it makes sense to me that light saber combat should really be similar to that as they don't have hand guards on their sabers usually. It made me think of the idea of a light saber fighting force user person holding their sword over head like a kendo jodan position or sort of over their shoulder, behind their head side ways like a medieval broad sword fencer might hold his and then holding their other hand out in front of them and heavily using it to force push or just generally force discourage strikes at them with it. It would look almost like an invisible shield or parrier but less literal more force-mystical. Their hand would be scary if they were dark side or calming if they are light side. If they are dark side and they really get pressured or really get scared or angry it would crackle with a little force lightning.
​
I think it would make for a cool looking character and be a unique looking way for them to light saber fight other characters; warding people off with their force blasting hand and then striking with their saber when openings arose. I'd like it if they were dark side and sort of creepy and craven looking, like a sort of Nosferatu vibe with long nails maybe.

[Spooky Skeleton]

[Thad]

[Büge]

https://vimeo.com/151579457

I wish that Vimeo links were embedded. This is a short, amazing fan-film.

[Healy]

Holy crap I loved the new Star Wars movie.

• I had just two main problems with it: 1) The story never really got a chance to breathe, such as it were. We were going through all these story beats and settings but never got a chance to soak it all in. Mostly this could be a good thing but I felt like the movie needed a few more details filled in. Somewhat related, 2) there was definitely not enough Poe Dameron in this film. I love that guy because he adds a lot to the cast (and also cuz he's a total cutie). Long story short, I would not say "no" to mo' Poe. (I think there's a new comic starring him coming out? I guess I might pick that up.)
• Speaking of cuties, how good was BB-8? So good. I loved the moment when she gave Finn a thumbs-up with her lighter.
• I loved the set design on Jakku. Just these bits and pieces of the old war against the Empire that got left behind.
• Darth Dweeb is such a good character. My problematic fave for sure.
• Han Solo kinda reminded me of my dad. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
• Speaking of Solo and dads, his death was just the worst, wasn't it? I was hyperventilating throughout that entire scene.
• UNDERTALE SPOILERS, KINDA It was like, "*: Han Solo is sparing you." or something like that. I guess Kylo is deadset on completing his run of the Genocide Route!
• I think Maz might be my favorite-est character in the history of everything? I hope she appears in the sequels. (She still totally could, right? She survived that attack right?) Or maybe she should star in her own film. Series. Each movie would be about another of her awesome adventures from when she was still exploring the galaxy.
• I know everything seems to be set up as Rey being Luke's kid, but I don't think that's so. Maybe she's a modified clone or something, but not Luke's biological daughter. Whatever she was, I am one hundo percent convinced she was intended to be used as a weapon by someone.
• I am holding out hope that episode VIII is just a 90-or-so-minute episode of Regular Show, with Luke as Skips. Regular Wars.

Also new avatar, woo.

[Grath]

Point #8 (Maz)

There's reportedly a deleted scene where Maz uses the horse to collapse the tunnel area behind her so she can escape from the stormtroopers.

[Esperath]

Rey Mara Jade confirmed

[Blossom]

• I know everything seems to be set up as Rey being Luke's kid, but I don't think that's so. Maybe she's a modified clone or something, but not Luke's biological daughter. Whatever she was, I am one hundo percent convinced she was intended to be used as a weapon by someone.

I know people are saying this, but she really doesn't whine nearly enough to be a Skywalker of any sort. Someone suggested that she seems more like a Kenobi, and that does make a bit of sense.

[Grath]

• I know everything seems to be set up as Rey being Luke's kid, but I don't think that's so. Maybe she's a modified clone or something, but not Luke's biological daughter. Whatever she was, I am one hundo percent convinced she was intended to be used as a weapon by someone.

I know people are saying this, but she really doesn't whine nearly enough to be a Skywalker of any sort. Someone suggested that she seems more like a Kenobi, and that does make a bit of sense.

She was the only one of a number of British actors allowed to use her native British accent. The only other character in Star Wars that we've seen with a British accent is Obi-Wan. According to my roommate, in the Star Wars universe a British accent is a Coruscanti accent so that just means Rey's family is from Coruscant but given that Star Wars is all about the family lines I suspect she's related to the only other person we've seen with a British accent.

[Mongrel]

Yeah, that theory has popped up. However, if you go back in the thread I mentioned that there's another theory, that she could be Palpatine's daughter/granddaughter.

[beatbandito]

Just saw it. Kind of disappointed. It was certainly fun, but much more dumb than expected.

best parts:
"BLEHT" alien screaming at Fin when he's looking for water.

Han Solo half-hearted run-punch.

there was a really good one way later on that I can't think of now and that makes me sad

[Esperath]

There's another theory, that Rey is spawn of [insert Force-sensitive character here]

[Friday]

WHAT IF SHE'S THE GAY LOVECHILD OF BOTH REVAN AND THE EXILE

[Healy]

All of y'alls are wrong, force clone or go home.

[Esperath]

There's the theory of the Reybius. A twist in fandom where shitposts become a loop.

Where shitposts become a loop.
Where shitposts become a loop.
Where shitposts become a loop.

[Healy]

More important question: who's Finn's family?

[Healy]

No, wait, this is the important question:

So there's these Knights of Ren guys that Kylo is a part of, right? We see some guys in the flashback who look like they could be them. It's assumed this is the depiction of Kylo Ren's massacre of Luke's school, but according to someone on the story team, it's a different scene that happens before that. And we also never see any other Knights throughout the whole movie. Like, the other characters all call Kylo "Ren", which you'd think would be confusing if there are still other Knights around.

So my question is: are the Knights of Ren just some fight club Kylo started at Luke's school? Is that why he killed all the other students?

[Friday]

who's Finn's family?

Finn is the son of Lando/Leia, but it was when Han had already broken up with Leia so don't worry I'm not slut shaming.

Also, he turns out to be a half-mandalorian, because Lando was secretly the offspring of Darth Nihilus and Handmaiden, who fell into a time loop which changed his DNA. That's why Finn can breath fire and fly.

In addition, a new character I made named "Crystal Tears, The Maiden of Battlesong" shows up and she's the daughter of Bastila and Time itself. She is destined to save the Universe from Dr. Robotnik. Of course she's also half dragon and half Timelord, and turns out to be the clone of the Doctor's 17th regeneration sent from the future to this reality to stop the Daleks from allying with the Zerg.

She and Rey have a fight and Crystal Tears wins, obviously, because she's a lot more powerful. But then Rey wants to be friends but Crystal Tears says "no i can't be friends with you everyone who gets close to me gets hurt" and goes off alone.