Truthiness! (Onion, Clickhole, etc.)

[Büge]

Hard Drive: HUGE Black Friday Deal: Your Entire Backlog STILL AVAILABLE at *No Additional Cost!*

[Thad]

look, it's only "no additional cost" if the two hours I spent getting the GOG version of Witcher 3 to work on my Steam Deck is worth nothing

[Thad]

okay fine

*removes $30 worth of games from Steam cart, spends that money on socks and underwear instead*

[Mongrel]

Man, the day I finally conceded, "Geez, it really is worth it to spend money on GOOD socks on underwear.", oh boy.

[Thad]

The first Christmas I asked for socks may have been the first time I felt old.

[Mongrel]

Maybe it's just because I'm particular about my shit, so I don't like to leave people play guessing games correctly while I hope they get it right (or just giving annoyingly detailed instructions instead). I just go buy shit... not waiting for a holiday to keep my nads comfy. Or buying games I want (which sure as hell isn't often anymore), or etc. etc.

I guess don't generally want holiday gifts anymore in general? Haven't for years. If someone surprises me on my birthday it doesn't feel weird, but otherwise I'm like "Man, just save your money." It's just so much less stress for everyone.

I like cards though, sending and receiving cards is fun.

[Thad]

Yeah, that's pretty much where I am. (Asking for socks for Christmas was probably my freshman year of college. Didn't have a lot of disposable income, and didn't really want to spend what I had on socks.) If I want something I buy it, which does make me a little more difficult to shop for at holidays. I know giving people money and letting them figure out what to do with it is gauche, but I'm pretty okay with being on the receiving end. My birthday was like "give me some money I can put toward a Deck" and for Christmas I'm thinking "give me some money I can put toward rebuilding the PC in my living room."

(Also I almost bought A Short Hike on sale but then I noticed I already got it in that itch.io racial justice bundle. AFAIK I've never re-bought a game I already got in a bundle, but I've come close a couple times. And of course the reverse happens all the time, getting a bundle that has stuff in it that I already bought previously. One of these days I should probably put a list up in that Redundant Steam Key Giveaway thread...)

Think I might still buy Littlewood, though. It looks fun.

[Thad]

Wound up getting Littlewood and Yakuza 0. Plus a copy of Stray for my niece for Christmas.

Will probably stop there and keep on working my backlog. But there's plenty to tempt me, much of it in the sub-$20 range and some in the sub-$5 range.

[Thad]

Oi Just Shut Up For A Little Bit

While similarly irritating nerds on the internet are still rushing to defend Elon Musk as some sort of an anti-establishment industrialist martyr, the fact that he has now started suspending the Twitter accounts of journalists who report on his mythology through a critical lens only confirms that he has the glass jaw of a little rich boy who has never been hit in the mouth.

[Thad]

New Tesla Software Update Will Drive Your Vehicle Into A Wall If You Even Mention Another Carmaker

[Mongrel]

The inclusion of actual photos of Teslas in flames is

[Mongrel]

[Büge]

there really is a dril tweet for everything

[Thad]

The Onion's satire of the New York Times doesn't miss. CW for a biting satire of transphobia.

“Quentin” is a 14-year-old assigned female at birth who now identifies as male against the wishes of his parents. His transition was supported by one of his unmarried teachers, who is not a virgin. He stole his parents’ car and drove to the hospital, where a doctor immediately began performing top surgery on him. Afterward, driving home drunk from the hospital, Quentin became suicidally depressed, and he wonders now, homeless and ridden with gonorrhea, if transitioning was a mistake.

We just made Quentin up, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean stories like his aren’t potentially happening everywhere, constantly. Good journalism is about finding those stories, even when they don’t exist. It’s about asking the tough questions and ignoring the answers you don’t like, then offering misleading evidence in service of preordained editorial conclusions. In our case, endangering trans people is the lodestar that shapes our coverage. Frankly, if our work isn’t putting trans people further at risk of trauma and violence, we consider it a failure.

We stand behind our recent obsessed-seeming torrent of articles and essays on trans people, which we believe faithfully depicts their lived experiences as weird and gross. We remain dedicated to finding the angles that best frame the basic rights of the gender-nonconforming as up for debate, and we will use these same angles over and over again in hopes that this repetition makes them suffer. As journalists, it is our obligation to entertain any and all pseudoscience that gives bigotry an intellectual veneer. We must be diligent in laundering our vitriol through the posture of journalistic inquiry, and we must be allowed to fixate on the genitals.

It is against free speech to stop us from fixating on the genitals.

[Mongrel]

Woman Feeling Doubly Conflicted About Attending ‘Harry Potter’-Themed Plantation Wedding

[Thad]

In Order to Keep Our Editorial Page Completely Balanced, We Are Hiring More Dipshits

It's from 2018 but it's new to me.

[Büge]

they're taking no prisoners these days.

[Thad]

they're taking no prisoners these days.

I also like the secondary joke that there is absolutely no fucking reason for this to be a slideshow except that somebody at Univision or G/O or whoever the fuck owns The Onion this week told them they needed to have slideshows.

[Niku]

that's not really an extra joke, the onion regularly runs "here's ______ in every state" slideshows so they get 50 different page impressions.

[sei]

they're taking no prisoners these days.

I also like the secondary joke that there is absolutely no fucking reason for this to be a slideshow except that somebody at Univision or G/O or whoever the fuck owns The Onion this week told them they needed to have slideshows.

"People clicking the next arrow is better for our analytics' engagement and bounce rate metrics than scrolling down a page."