Brave Soul, Who Fears Not Death

[Rico]

I really hate it when people recommend a book and say something like "once you slog through the first 200 shitty pages, the rest is awesome!" but if you did enjoy pre caprablight Souls, post caprablight souls is more of that, so if you think you can power through you might want to.

[Friday]

Well, the good news is at the urging and encouragement (and tactical advice) of my internet friends, I finally managed to kill Capra by using the ledge and the stairs. I even got to downstab him once when he fell trying to get at me, which felt really really good.

So I then proceeded to the Depths and cleared the whole thing out without dying. Life on kill ring is making stuff easier.

Gaping Dragon was a really fun and cool boss. Now I've got Blightown ahead of me, but I've got better gear now. I may take a vacation in the Dark Garden or whatever it's called first.

[Bal]

Resistances work for real. If you have a set of shadow gear, which I think you can find near capra, you'll be able to up your poison resist significantly. As for the toxic darts, a really good counter is the Spider Shield, which can be found in the depths on a ledge above the giant rat, as it blocks 100% of poison damage, so where a normal shield blocking a dark will still build up some toxic on you, blocking with that shield will not. Finally, you can buy blooming purple moss (cures toxic) from the female undead merchant who's behind the bars at the far end of the aquaduct from Firelink, heading toward the shortcut to lower undead burg.

I also strongly advise revisiting the Undead Asylum (Look at a video, explaining how to get back is really hard) for the Rusted Iron Ring, which lets you move at full speed in deep water, which will be important at the bottom of blight town.

[Friday]

Played a ton yesterday and stayed up waaay too late doing it.

Went and killed Havel and got his ring. Holy shit this ring guys.

HAIL HYRDA (i ran away)

What's this lizard thing GET BACK HERE

oh hey he dropped some things

TREE MONSTERS

GIANT KNIGHTS

ELITE ARMOR SET I WILL USE YOU

hey a giant butterfly i don't have ranged weapons at all

uhhhh

shit can i even beat this boss?

oh hey it's resting WAIL ON IT

okay Blighttown time

we'll go in from the depths I guess

take it slow but sure

slow but sure

I can do this

OH GOD THE BRIDGE IS MOVING UNDER MY FEET AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAfuck you blowgun guyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WE MADE IT TO THE BOTTOM

OH GOD I FOUND A BONFIRE I AM SO HAPPY

oh, yeah, game, like this chest isn't a mimic

oh i guess it's not a mimic DOUBLE FAKE OUT

DARK SPIRIT MILDRED THE MANEATER HAS INVADED WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS A PVP

haha no it's just fake pvp haha look at her go

lets explore the swamp OH GOD GIANT LEECHES JUST WHAT EVERY GIRL WANTED

dude you assholes stop throwing rocks at me

EWWW YOU GUYS HAVE EGGS ALL OVER YOU

oh shit I can summon Mildred? WE'RE GONNA BE BEST BUDS

HELLO SPIDER BOSS HOW ARE YOU DOIIIIIIIIIIIIII WHOOOOAAAA YOU'RE A GIRL?!??!?! marry me

Mildred.

Mildred no.

Don't

No you have to

no don't

no you have to GO AROUND the lava

YOU DIED

w/e I'll just solo her

YOU DIED

What the FUCK that explosion attack one shot me

YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED

VICTORY ACHIEVED

BELL NO. 2 ACHIEVED

what's this message on the ground says something about a fake wall

uhhh sure, I serve the lady w/e

HOLY SHIT WAIFU NO. 2

YES I WILL GIVE YOU MY HUMANITY THAT YOU WILL PUT IN YOUR EGGS *wink wink*

<leeham> go let an egg dude grab you

uhhhh okay sure

why is my guy scratching the back of his neck so much what is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh hey egg dude you like me now cool can you uh, take care of this, you know, my head situation

fuck it's 3 in the morning GOODNIGHT

next up: Friday explores lavaworld

[Rico]

Upcoming best boss name in Souls.

[Destynova]

Hidden drawback of being an egghead, you only get half the souls gained from kills due to the parasite taking half.

[Friday]

Holy shit it's almost 5am OR:

THE ADVENTURES OF FRIDAY IN LAVALAND AND BEYOND

hmm hmm hmm whoa that's a big fire dude weird he's not attacking me oh there's a corpse with some treasure on it WELP

APPLIED TAMPON

ACHIEVED VICTORY

okay cool the lava's all draining and

oh wow that's a lot of bull demon dudes ok well I'll just pull them one at a time real carefully

WHATS THAT? TREASURE IN THE LAVA? HAHA I THINK YOU UNDERESTIMATE HOW LITTLE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT DYING

okay well what's the other way

...

...

...

IT'S YOU YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

YEAH BUT NOW I'VE GOT WIDE OPEN SPACE AND YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR DOGS YOU FUCK

DIE

okay that felt good what's over hereeeeeeeeeeeeee OH GOD TWO AT THE SAME TIME WHAT THE FUCK

NEVERMIND THIS ZONE LETS GO BACK TO FIRELINK SHRINE

OK MAKING THE CLIMB OUT OF BLIGHTTOWN, FACES DOWN AND WE'RE HOMEBOUND

hey cool I found a estus reinforcement thingy guarded by FIVE MILLION BLOWGUN GUYS AND SOME FAGGOT DOGS GOD I HATE ALL DOGS i can give it to fire maiden girl thing when I get back to Firelink WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S DEAD

I KNEW THAT FUCKING GOLD DUDE WAS BAD NEWS HE LAUGHED A LOT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYONE LAUGHS A LOT IN THIS GAME

okay well I'm gonna HELLO WHO ARE YOU YOU BIG FUCKING SNAKE WITH WEIRD TEETH

<seymour> feed me i'll give you souls

SHOVEL EVERYTHING DOWN YOUR THROAT

imma buy that crest thing from Andre and finish exploring the forest I guess

I AM BEING ATTACKED BY GHOST KNIGHTS

so um, I'm just gonna run past these guys cause a note said "safe zone ahead" and wow a kitty!

hehehe kitty

um sure I'll join your covenant i guess i don't understand how it works at all but it stops these dudes from hitting me so that's cool

what's up weird looking dude yeah you're cool I'm cool good to be with you too

hey what's in this chest oh

what

the

FUCK

guess who's a stone knight guys

So, I'm probably at the point where choosing a weapon to use should be done fairly soon. I'm currently using a Longsword +9 and it has served me well, but I'm wondering if I should look for anything else.

[Wheels]

Did you get a weapon drop from any of the Black Knights? The Halberd and Greatsword especially are pretty boss. Did you meet any mushroom friends? You should go tell them hi.

[François]

Choosing a weapon in Dark Souls is largely a matter of "do I like the moveset" and "if I care about scaling, does it scale with my stats". It's hard to go wrong with anything that's not a whip or a fist weapon (or a shield; my dual-wield greatshield build was hilarious but I don't recommend it). Even the basic longsword is a solid choice!

[Destynova]

Epic fail there Siegward. Fighting with me against Yhorm does not mean 'Get trapped in a corner and mushed before I get the Storm Ruler powered up'

[Friday]

Spent last night farming, mostly. Got enough endurance to wear stone plate + havel's ring to not fat roll while killing leeches for large titanite so I could level my Baller Swag Sword to +10. (After reading up on straight swords, seems that's the best one unless you're willing to go 40/40 with the longsword)

Will be heading into Sen's Fortress tonight unless Overwatch distracts me.

[malikial]

Epic fail there Siegward. Fighting with me against Yhorm does not mean 'Get trapped in a corner and mushed before I get the Storm Ruler powered up'

Whereas, my Squidward literally killed him on his own while I laid on the ground in the Stretch out emote.

[Kazz]

I only fatroll

[Friday]

Kazz is equipped with a mighty load.

[Friday]

CHAPTER SEN'S FORTRESS

STARRING: FUCKING SNAKE DUDES WHO SHOOT LIGHTNING, FRIDAY'S INABILITY TO NOT WALK OFF LEDGES INTO BOTTOMLESS PITS

PART ONE OF TEN:

ok so people have been talking up this fortress a lot in chat so I'm gonna be careful, I made it through Blighttown, I can make it through anythi -- OW OW WHAT THE FUCK DARTS

hey whoa snek dudes what is uuuuuuuuuuup what kinda of attacks do you guys have WHOA that's a big leap ok I'll just circle around behind, simple enough, even though there were two of you, it's no biggie as long as I have space to fight you guys in I can just circle around and backstab

*ALL FURTHER SNEK DUDES IN FORTRESS PLACED IN NARROW HALLWAYS/LEDGES*

haha swinging guillotines man this place is just exactly like the tower of execution from Castlevania 64 LIGHTNING BOLT FROM ABOVE/SIDE

hey what's that huge booming noise it's really unnerving FLATTENED BY ROCK

somehow still alive and haven't died yet! Well I'll just continue past this narrow ledge and

*friday walks off cliff*

YOU DIED

okay well i mean gotta learn the traps no biggie

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

WHAT THE FUCK SNEK DUDE YOU FOLLOWED ME ALL THE WAY UP HERE??!?!

YOU DIED
YOU DIED

wow lot of rings in this place

YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED

hey a giant golem thing is throwing flaming rocks at me

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck

WHERE IS THE BONFIRE GAME

YOU DIED

FUCK WHERE IS THE BONFIRE I oh it was literally right below where I died cool

hey dude i got your rapier lost prince whatever mcface

okay well time to kill this giant who's been chucking shit at me

oh my god he had a tantrum and then sat down so i could kill him, how adorable

okay boss time

THATS A BIG DUDE

WHOA HE PICKED ME UP AND THREW ME OFF THE KEEP

LETS TRY STANDING UNDER HIS LEGS

VICTORY ACHIEVED

lol

hey what's this ring of light doing here maybe I should touch it and see what AAAAAAA GARGOYLES ARE FLYING ME TO a really neat place? okay

hey more knights with big ass shields and halberds cool

"amazing chest ahead"

what i don't see any chest what is

*talks to nearby npc in full armor*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's a chick

Thrusting attacks worked way better in Sen's than slashing. Not just because the quarters were cramped either, everything had shitloads of slash resist.

[beatbandito]

Aw man, you missed Bros #3 and #2, meaning also a broess later on. Unless you talked to the onion knight outside Sen's before ringing the bells. Bro #3 was just for the fight if it gives you any issue.

[Destynova]

TARKUSSSSSS!

[Friday]

CHAPTER JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THESE KNIGHTS ARE SHOOTING SPEARS FROM BOWS BIGGER THAN GOD AT ME

hey guys what's up in this zone oh big ass knight enemies cool hey it's a gargoyle thing and then some more fucking catwalking while fighting cultists

hmm hmm hmm, no big deal, just dark souls things

hey it's those dudes who brought me here from Sen's Fortress, hey guys how it's HEY DID YOU JUST STAB ME WITH YOUR LIGHTNING SPEAR OKAY I WAS GONNA TALK YOU GUYS SEEMED COOL BUT NOW I AM GOING TO HIT YOU WITH MY +10 SWORD

whew ok THATS over now where do I -- hey uh there's a spear sticking out of my head

YOU DIED

okay whatever this time I'll be get to those archers and HOLY SHIT THEY'RE BLACK KNIGHTS

YOU DIED

wait okay i can do this just parry riposte ain't no thang clam down fridar

HAHA YEAH YOU LIKE IT WHEN I STAB YOU IN YOUR DICK YEAH YOU LIKE THAT?!

OH MY GOD SUNNNNNNNNBRO WHAT IS UP WITH YOU WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOVE YOU OF COURSE I DO

more knights ho hum

OH MY GOD ONION-SAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

DUDE NO PROB I CAN TAKE THESE GUYS

thanks for the ring bro

*immediately throws it away for being shit*

later onion-san, you lovable weirdo

hey it's a giant and he wants to forge me stuff

"no talk, only forge."

"no talk, all friends left, long ago."

"you talk. is good. me no talk. just forge."

thatfeel.jpg

alright lets do this fight, the fight of fights, the mights of rights, the greatest duo in the history of history, the bros who defined what it meant to be before ho(s), introducing, in all their golden glory, Ornsbro and Smoubro

YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIEDYOU DIEDYOU DIEDYOU DIEDYOU DIED
FUCK YOU I'M NOT USING SUMMONS I AM HFC
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
OH MY GOD THIS FUCKING TRACER
wait wrong game
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED

VICTORY ACHIEVED

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah bitches get rekt

alright what's up this elevator oh cool a bonfire alright well there's a message here that says "needs grabbing with both hands" i wonder what's behind this door --

MARRY ME

[Friday]

Golden Murderer down, girl restored.

"don't talk to me im impure"

what

HEY SIGGGGGGGGGGGY what's up you're gonna go "down below" soon? uh k

hey Frampt here's the lordvessel what should I do with it

"hold still"

ok um what are we going to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"ok put the lordvessel over there"

alright cool how do we get back

"hold still"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay um so I have to go kill some fools?

Gravelord Nito? Really? Wasn't he in the intro as one of the very first god/lord people? You want me to go kill a god.

"yeah no biggie also these other dudes"

you know what fine Frampt I mean I already beat Orns and Smough how fucking bad can the incarnation of death and decay really be

here have some equipment I don't need

ok later you fucking weirdo

<leeham> go to forest next

uh sure i guess

what's this a boss room

whoa a big grave

PUPPY

<Sif> I am good at holding things in my mouth

I WONDER IF STAND UNDER LEGS AND MASH ATTACK BUTTON WORKS ON THIS BOSS TOO

<Sif> fuck you you fuckin' piece of shit i swear on me mum

alright got em low time to --

;_;

having failed to defeat me with Orns and Smough, the game is now attempting to destroy me emotionally

alright fuck it, someone mentioned that very large ember was in new londo and i want my +15 so here we go

FUCKING GHOSTS HOW DO YOU WORK

oh i have these transient curses

yay now i can kill you and block you that's awesome alright now--

*friday is murdered through walls, floors, and ceilings*

FUCK THIS GHOST EARTH

"oh i see you have the lordvessel here's the key blah blah blah darkwraiths blah blah"

shutup do you know where very large ember is

"i assure you the darkwraiths are real bad"

fuck you

okay water drained, time to find this very large ember

who are you undead knight dudes who block with black holes are you darkwraiths

whoooaaaa that's a big black blob who spits skulls that explode at me

smithers do your worst

exploring exploring exploring, where could my ember beeeeeeeeee

FOUND IT

yaaaaaaaaeaaaah bitch my attack went from 250 to 350

UP NEXT: Friday attempts to kill A God, I guess

[Friday]

Killed Nito a few days ago, and then Four Kings. Just finished Painted World before I posted this.

Tomb of Giants was rad. I didn't have a light source but after some helpful advice from Finalfight, Patches kicked me into a pit and I got a lantern.

INFINITE BABY SKELETONS

Nito's design was rad, though the boss fight wasn't particularly difficult. He got me the first time because I didn't have my divine club equipped and I ran around like a crazy person and aggroed the Giant Skeletons in the back. Even so I still got him to 25% hp.

Second time I just bashed the skeletons down and then took him slow and sure.

I had already cleared out New Londo ruins, so it was just a matter of falling into the Abyss. I had the ring and managed to one shot the Kings, though I used all 10 estus to do it. Amazing fight.

Decided to check out Painted World. Great zone, though those fucking toxic zombies man.

Didn't fight Prissy, couldn't bring myself to kill the Ultimate Waifu. Lee-Ham you were right all along.

All that's left now is Duke's Archives, Hell, and the DLC.