E3 2015

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Cthulhu-chan
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Cthulhu-chan » Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:05 am

Mothra wrote:How could they possibly do to make Cait Sith look realistic??


Why would he need to, he's literally a giant animatronic mascot. The real question is whether to lean more or less toward Five Nights at Freddy's.
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Büge
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Büge » Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:09 am

Mothra wrote:Wonder if the chocobos at the ranch are gonna wark dance in sync still or if they'll offset them in some disastrous showing of budget-drunk overanimation.

Is Tifa's rack going to be dynamically generated?

How could they possibly do to make Cait Sith look realistic??


Cloud shrugs in HD!

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Mothra
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:39 am

Not to retread on what Parish has already well covered but



Is this gonna be in the HD remake

Is Honeybee Manor still going to happen

Because I cannot think of a single thing more Final Fantasy 7 than Honeybee Manor

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Friday
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Friday » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:42 am

I think scaling back Tifa's breasts to "enormous" would probably be a smart move.

Can we just scalpel out Quina from 9 and use her/him/it/frog instead of Cait Sith?

Things that need to happen for me to be happy:

1. skippable summons

2. skippable summons

3. skippable summons

4. skippable summons

5. skippable summons

6. better graphics

7. the scarlet/tifa bitchslap fight is an entire minigame you can play at the gold saucer

8. OFF COURSE!!! left as is (the 'spoony' treatment)

9. you can complete a complex, hidden side story to resurrect Aeris, but she is immediately speared from behind by Sephiroth again who drops out of the sky as soon as she opens her eyes

10. no gackt

11. this is important

12. no fucking gackt

13. skippable summons

14. limit break rebalances/some sort of reason to use the individual characters, maybe special materia only certain characters can equip

15. Vincent constantly trips over his feet

16. Turbo from the Gaia trilogy shows up bark bark arf grrr

17. Barret's voice actor speaks in a cultured, suave tone

18. Marlene curses constantly and speaks in ebonics dialed up to eleven

19. Dracula shows up and is like WELL MET MY SON and then takes a second look at Vincent and is like WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THOSE SHOES YOU'RE NO SON OF MINE and then you are teleported directly to the IWTBG boss fight

20. xbox

21. playstation

22. skippable summons

23. mostly just skippable summons

24. i guess they could smooth some rough areas out and add in some more post game content and maybe make the final boss not such a fucking panzy-ass but mainly

25. skippable summons

26. Guild

27. yeah ok you knew that one was coming when you got to 'xbox' so what fuck you you're not a cop

28. A complete visual novel where you help Elena win Tseng-sempai's love

29. Reno takes over as the main character after Cloud goes into a Coma

30. while Cloud is in a coma you take control of him through the events of Final Fantasy Tactics

31. they don't cut the part where you sneak on the ship at Junon and Red XIII is dressed in Shinra duds and standing on his hind legs wobbling around

32. you can press a button, and the summon will end and just show damage on the enemies

33. if you take the treasure from the chocobo nest, you later find their corpses and Tifa calls you a monster and leaves the party permanently and your name is changed to THIEF in all caps

34. she is replaced by Chie from Persona 4

35. what the hell Ramza comes back with you, and he's rad

36. no fuck Ramza instead it's Gafgarion

37. but remember Reno took over as the MC so things get kinda awkward

38. Sephiroth's name is changed to 'XxXSephirothFallenAngelXxX'

39. he is part demon part angel part prince part unicorn

40. he has a lot of scars and his eyes are like diamonds dipped in emerald waters

41. complete VN of Mog trying to get female Mog-sempai to notice him

42. the rock/paper/scissors fighting game at the gold saucer is made even more fucking impossible, if you get to the 5th round, a real boxer breaks into your house and punches you whenever you hit a button

43. General Leo replaces Yuffie as a secret character

44. Yuffie still ambushes you at random in forests but you just kill her

45. Fort Condor is still in the game, but when you start the RTS, a screen just appears that says 'this is really fucking easy, so, to save you some time, here's the loot/reward'

46. I guess I should fill this out to 50?

47. skippable summons

48. whenever Aeris does her 'i'm flirting with Cloud so Imma lean in so he can look down at my tits' the player can do a quicktime event to have Cloud grab both her nipples and twist, which results in negative love points with Aeris but positive with Vincent who is into that shit that dirty fucking queer

49. Barret explains that he gets his bullets from eating a lot of scrap metal

50. crossdressing Cloud is an option for the Date (using time travel)
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Mothra
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:56 am

I laughed so fucking hard at this.

Friday wrote:7. the scarlet/tifa bitchslap fight is an entire minigame you can play at the gold saucer

I want photorealistic flesh slapwaves appearing in matrixtime during the slap fight sequence. I want this to be where months of dev time is spent.

Friday wrote:8. OFF COURSE!!! left as is (the 'spoony' treatment)

Yes.

Friday wrote:9. you can complete a complex, hidden side story to resurrect Aeris, but she is immediately speared from behind by Sephiroth again who drops out of the sky as soon as she opens her eyes

YES

Friday wrote:15. Vincent constantly trips over his feet

Picture this animation and picture it happening completely at random all the time in-game. I defy you not to giggle like a crossdressing Cloud.

Friday wrote:31. they don't cut the part where you sneak on the ship at Junon and Red XIII is dressed in Shinra duds and standing on his hind legs wobbling around

I WAS JUST THINKING THIS

Oh please god don't let them cut this

Friday wrote:33. if you take the treasure from the chocobo nest, you later find their corpses and Tifa calls you a monster and leaves the party permanently and your name is changed to THIEF in all caps

It saves immediately and the game is just unwinnable from there on out

Friday wrote:50. crossdressing Cloud is an option for the Date (using time travel)

OH MY GOD FRIDAY

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TA
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Re: E3 2015

Postby TA » Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:03 am

All I want is for the models to change for Cloud depending on which crossdress items you get, and the perfect combination that gets you picked is just Lightning.
のほも is such a good word?? the concept is kind of hard to fully get across in translation, but basically it means a feeling of pure, deep, platonic affection, and i think thats beautiful

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Mongrel
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Mongrel » Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:28 am

Friday killin' it this morning. XD

Also, have another announced game:

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Cthulhu-chan
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Cthulhu-chan » Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:59 am

that seriously looks super sick

wanna monhun them dinorobos
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Cthulhu-chan
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Cthulhu-chan » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:29 pm

So apparently someone in Squenix summoned up Taro Yoko from whatever grim abyss he lurks in, and put him to work on a sequel to Nier.


It is being developed by Platinum.


I expect that the sky may soon shatter and the grotesque light of the mad stars will shine down upon us all.
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Sharkey
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Sharkey » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:40 pm

Mothra wrote:
Friday wrote:31. they don't cut the part where you sneak on the ship at Junon and Red XIII is dressed in Shinra duds and standing on his hind legs wobbling around

I WAS JUST THINKING THIS

Oh please god don't let them cut this


Me too!

That's the closest we're ever going to get to an Achewood RPG.

Actually, what we really need is Red XIII wobbling around on his hind legs wearing a thong, sunglasses, and a medallion.
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TedBelmont
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Re: E3 2015

Postby TedBelmont » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:39 pm

THIS TWEET REMOVED FOR INSUFFICIENT CONTEXT

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Mothra
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Mothra » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:45 pm

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Sharkey
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Sharkey » Tue Jun 16, 2015 3:31 pm

Liked, upvoted, followed, fellated, etc. I'm gonna have to name him Ray XIII from now on.

Also, Turok: Dinosaur Transformers looks fuckin rad. I'm actually kind of annoyed that a new IP seems to be overshadowed by a ton of long anticipated sequels and remakes.
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Rico
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Rico » Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:26 pm

I have absolutely no arguments with any of Friday's 50 points.

Or her list about the Final Fantasy VII remake.

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Re: E3 2015

Postby Newbie » Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:17 pm

Best thread, played on loveliest guitar
tiny text

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Re: E3 2015

Postby TedBelmont » Tue Jun 16, 2015 7:18 pm

THIS POST REMOVED FOR INSUFFICIENT CONTEXT

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Sharkey
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Sharkey » Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:31 pm

I always knew that Richard Dawkins wanted to destroy the planet with a meteor, but I had no idea he looked so good with his shirt off.
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Brentai
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Re: E3 2015

Postby Brentai » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:09 am

At this point I'm expecting E3 to end with all the representatives of Sony, Nintendo, and Microsoft getting on a stage together, shouting "APRIL FOOLS!" in chorus, and then the actual E3 announcements begin.

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Re: E3 2015

Postby Niku » Wed Jun 17, 2015 5:29 am

The more I think about it, the more not-okay I am with Sony going on stage and saying "HEY, THIS IS ENTIRELY THEIR PROJECT" regarding the Shenmue 3 kickstarter, launching thousands of savage nerds toward a crowdfunding campaign they've been hoping for for years, and then casually letting it slip a day later once funding is secured that oh yeah, they ARE the benefactor who's supplying the rest of the cash.

I mean, if I donated and also gave even the tiniest shit about Shenmue 3 beyond a "jesus god how is this actually happening right now" kind of astonishment during the presser I'd be even more not-okay, but as is it just leaves kind of a sour and questioning taste in my mouth.
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zaratustra
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Re: E3 2015

Postby zaratustra » Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:18 am

My 31 year old son is howling at the computer because nintendo made a bad game. The neighborhood despises my howling boy


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