Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

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Mothra
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Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Mothra » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:20 pm

Doesn’t look like we’ve got a Dungeons and Dragons thread yet, and there is no way you dweebs haven’t conjured a Mordenkainen’s Private Sanctum or two in your day.

Started playing for the first time about a year and a half ago, when a friend started a campaign with an American Reconstruction theme and let me be the thing from The Thing. Absolutely loved it. D&D is easily the most fun tabletop game I’ve ever played, due largely to how many bizarre, memorable stories come out of each session.

I’ve proceeded to get sucked into five other campaigns, each with a different friend group, and now I am basically playing D&D twice a week.

Couple things:

  • The roleplaying part of this game is far and away the core of the fun here. I have one campaign that gets sucked into long, protracted battles and god does it kill the energy.

    • I will concede that this is where the tension can ramp up and the most intense moments can happen, if players are willing to take tactical sacrifices/risks for the sake of character stuff.
  • Holy god are Paladins powerful. I worked out a combo move with another player we called “Time and a Half” where he brings 7 coins to life, and I cast a spell that gives everything in range 1d8 radiant damage, so those coins do like 80 damage in a single turn. It’s wild.
  • Two of my campaigns use Roll20, and it is definitely growing on me. It gives a way, way better sense of were we are spacially, during battles and during exploration. I had one bring us through a sewer dungeon and exploring around corners and into rooms was very cool.

    • Similarly, another campaign laid out a city, and we could move our icons to buildings to explore or chat with people. Also made investigating a murder and remembering a wide cast of characters easier.
  • Character voices make all the difference. Being able to drop in and out of character with a minimum of stage-setting does wonders for keeping the flow going. I’ve only pulled off a few of them so far, so I’m open to suggestions if you guys have had good success with others:

    • The Tick/All Might over-the-top heroic voice. This one is super fun to do. Used this one for a Kenku paladin that suffered a headwound and got “stuck” in-character while mocking a paladin with the voice.
    • Froppy-style perma-congested nerd. Used this one for an aloof broom-riding witch who came from Shadowfell and is allergic to the material plane.
    • Carl from Aqua Teen/Harvey Bullock/Danny DeVito crass gnome detective type.
  • Seems like the amount of work the DM has to do vs the amount of effort the players have to put in is super uneven? That’d be my only real complaint about the system, aside from how long battles take.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Friday » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:35 pm

Seems like the amount of work the DM has to do vs the amount of effort the players have to put in is super uneven?


hahahahahah

hahahahah

hahah

hah

But seriously whenever I tell one of my players to do something to take it off my shoulders (which I do whenever I can) and they complain about the work, I just stare at them with such intensity that they explode and die
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Friday » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:38 pm

But seriously being a DM is fun as hell

I wish I had players like you who would do voices

please tell me you do Kazz's Dog voice sometimes
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby nosimpleway » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:39 pm

I couldn't even get my players to remember how to make spell attack rolls, much less what the spell they were attacking with actually did.

This is after they asked me to switch over from a much simpler, easier-to-use system to 5e in the first place.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Friday » Tue Dec 11, 2018 6:49 pm

My favorite Dnd moment was when my players arrived in a new kingdom, and the King, having heard of their exploits, invited them to dinner so he could meet them

One of my players was playing (at the time) a super prim and proper Lawful Good Elven Female Bard, who was also a Princess trying to win her kingdom back (travelling in disguise of course) and when they all sat down to eat, I started describing how the party was getting some looks from the nobles and wait staff because their table manners were so bad, the Barbarian was just scooping up soup with his hands, etc

So said Bard complains to me "wait, I know how to eat properly, let me roll a skill check for table manners"

So I let him roll and of course he gets a 1.

So we all burst out laughing and I describe how Miss Prim and Proper had fumbled her salad fork into her eye socket and then fallen backward out of her chair, knocking a glass of wine over her hair on the way down

And then the party Rogue (Charisma 16) says he wants to improvise a song about their beautiful but clumsy companion on the spot and rolls a nat 20.

So anyway the Rogue charmed everyone into loving him by making fun of the Princess in song and it was amazing

Meanwhile the Princess is fuming in her chair, dripping wine onto the table
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Mongrel » Tue Dec 11, 2018 7:03 pm

Man, I can't imagine not playing a D&D session without some sort of affected voice.

I mean, sure, I do that constantly anyway. But an RP session would be the one of the better outlets for that.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Maximillian » Tue Dec 11, 2018 7:24 pm

This has been my jam since 1994. God I think I had posts of some of my stuff on previous incarnations of the board. I don't have time today, but I should really come back and put my 'lessons learned' here for Kabbage/Mothra.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Blossom » Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:08 pm

Mongrel wrote:Man, I can't imagine not playing a D&D session without some sort of affected voice.

I mean, sure, I do that constantly anyway. But an RP session would be the one of the better outlets for that.


I can't imagine doing rpgs in anything but text chat anymore because the pain of trying to do all that shit with my actual voice is unbearable.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Mongrel » Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:43 pm

TA wrote:
Mongrel wrote:Man, I can't imagine not playing a D&D session without some sort of affected voice.

I mean, sure, I do that constantly anyway. But an RP session would be the one of the better outlets for that.


I can't imagine doing rpgs in anything but text chat anymore because the pain of trying to do all that shit with my actual voice is unbearable.

Well, text chat RPGs also have their advantages.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Z%rø » Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:19 pm

I love D&D. I think that all tabletop games are an ultimate expression of gaming and creativity. I think that by comparison, videogames are an inherently lesser, easier-to-consume form of entertainment. I would play so many more tabletop RPGs given the opportunity. I consume & study systems constantly so that if I feel like running something off the wall, I know what system would work best and I know it well enough to teach others.

I need to come up with more character concepts that are outside of my comfort zone. So far in 5e I have had:

  • A Neutral Good Battlemaster Human Fighter that made some bad bets and had to skip town (Later when it was revealed that this character was sometimes dumb as rocks, but also the most lethal thing to ever grace the table, it was clarified that he bet against himself and forgot to throw the match.
  • A Chaotic Good Half-Elf Wild Magic Sorcerer bent on learning about magic. He was conned into thinking a wizard could teach him. Then he forgot about his goals after he realized that he could still kill fuckers with only a modicum of understanding.
  • A Chaotic Good (NOTICING A PATTERN HERE) Kenku Artificer that just wanted to make guns and work with clockwork, but his strong sense of justice/good eventually led him to attempt to betray the party and free a rebel prisoner. He got a 20 on the sneak check to free the guy, but a 1 on the survival to navigate away from camp and just got lost until everyone woke up.
  • A Neutral Mystic Warforged that is fairly one dimensional in his seeking of knowledge and the truth thus far. Which is good, because he is on loan to an investigation team. He has logical issues with the fact he is considered property, but this hasn't come up yet beyond him simply claiming he isn't property. No one has attempted to correct him.

Although I don't really do "Voices", I like to think I gave 3 out of 4 of these a unique voice and something of a character. If not at first, then over time as they developed. I attempted to play the Fighter with a level of confidence and waving his dick around that other characters haven't. The Kenku I gave verbal ticks to throw in onomatopoeia of various mechanical noises into speech patter. ("Um" replaced with literally making a ticking noise.) I attempt to play my Warforged as flat on the delivery as possible, but I don't know if I pull that off well enough. I don't want to go for "Robotic", but at least disaffected.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby François » Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:51 pm

I've had a war-priest slash wizard character concept rattling around in my head for years now and I love him like a son, but p&p rpg campaigns are among the things that my ailment makes basically impossible, so I mostly just watch a bunch of D&D streams (Dice, Camera, Action, The C Team, Dark and Dicey, Trapped in the birdcage... I think that's it) and pine for the days of my youth when I played every week. D&D 2nd and 3rd, Shadowrun, the West End Star Wars... DMed more homebrews than I can remember. Oh well.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby ocksi » Wed Dec 12, 2018 1:26 am

My favorite D&D character was the Vaudeville Bard. Just a lore bard who only attacked in slapsticky ways, always sang jokey songs and rhymed for mockeries, etc. My favorite attack was a two-turn number to summon an unseen servant who would kneel behind an enemy, then a mage hand or some other forced movement ability to push them back (and tabletop them over the invisible body). Ran an obvious set-up of things like Tasha's Hideous Laughter, Vicious Mockery, Thunder Wave, etc. Preferred instrument was a slidewhistle, of course. He was a pure joy to play.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Defenestration » Wed Dec 12, 2018 3:32 am

I love doing voices, as the players in my current campaign are now well aware. I remember being very, very sad when Bal asked me not to do a dwarven voice in the very first "Edge of the World" so as to not intimidate the novice roleplayers.

As for the campaign I'm currently running, man. You're not fucking shitting me about the prep work involved. It feels sisyphean trying to do it with a full time job. Most weeks I feel like I have absolutely no free time as most of it goes into preparing the game. This is my first time DMing in a couple decades, and clearly in the future I need to think about just what kind of game I'm running and what prep work is needed for the sort of thing I'm thinking about. Can't really elaborate more, due to prying eyes unfortunately.

The actual bit of setting up everything for the players and getting to do doopy voices for the NPCs that continually fascinate them for some reason is so, so fun though. As well as sitting behind the figurative DM screen and grinning at what they're missing.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Lottel » Wed Dec 12, 2018 1:58 pm

My current three characters are

Moldarius "Moldy" Rotter: True Neutral druid with an obsession with mushrooms. He's a scientist by trade (doing experiments are the only time he bathes) who joined an adventuring guild to fund his scientific work. Currently trying to work off a debt since he failed to produce for his last patron, our cleric's rich fiancee.
His voice is a slightly more country Beetlejuice but with a lot more coughing up phlegm and burping.
He tends to win people over with his cooking, which I have 3x advantage when cooking with mushrooms.

Yeldan: My beurocrat cipher character in Dark Heresy. Hallucinates patterns everywhere. Believes the Emperor himself is sending him information through signs he sees in the universe. Budding divination psyker. His voice is nasally and rapid, tends to speak a lot in one breath. Great at reading people, bad at doing anything with the data.

Exile Murderless: Gank soldier in Edge of the Empire. Imagine a destiny character wearing Clint Eastwood's poncho and hat over their armor and carrying a gun the size of a twelve year old. Exiled from his family/squad, called a 'murder' to ganks, he was stripped of his name and took a title showing his shame for all to see. Cold and efficient, he's often at odds with the ships barbarian. Man of few words so I mostly just say what his body language is, but when I do talk he has a gruff cowboy voice. He gets poetic when he drinks.

At my old job, I got everyone to start playing in a game with me and now everyone plays multiple times and week and fight over who gets to DM and what system.

As for voices, I finally got everyone to do voices after playing a "special guest" one-off character in a game i didnt have time for. He was Romero Oleander and ended up being one of my favourite characters ever so he stuck around for a few sessions before disappearing. Which is good as if he stuck around longer he would have ruined me. He had a bad stutter and I ended up stuttering for weeks afterwards. This was the first time I was given a standing ovation at a table for my character playing.

I've tried to stay away from a lot of voices that are hard on me buy Moldy is gravelly enough that after a few hours of gameplay, my voice is wrecked the next morning.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby beatbandito » Wed Dec 12, 2018 3:40 pm

This is where I would post about my current campaign.

IF I HAD ONE
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Mothra » Wed Dec 12, 2018 3:49 pm

Oh, forgot another fun voice to do - The Monarch/Skeletor

At a certain point in my campaign with the paladin, the DM had my character intermittently “become sane” again, reverting to his original evil personality (if I lost a dex roll at the start of a battle), so I would shift from All Might to Skeletor for that.

I started a list of Skeletorisms for reference:

Mothra's Google Keep notes wrote:“You muscle-bound boob!”
“Neheh… neheheheheheh!”
“You blundering fool!”
“You’re all FOOLS if you think you can stop me!!”
“You mangy meatheads!”
“You furry coward!”
“You fleabag!”
“You dog-tongued dolt!”
“You slime-soaked nematode!”
“You flea-bitten fur-brain!”
“You pathetic pair of pitiful pin-heads!”
“Silence you furry fool!”
“I have you now you muscle-bound oaf!”
“You moss-munching moron!”
“Dolts! Half-wits!! Bunglers!!!”

"Bunglers" is perhaps the single most fun insult to sling at someone.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Z%rø » Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:20 pm

Defenestration wrote: Can't really elaborate more, due to prying eyes unfortunately.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Bal » Wed Dec 12, 2018 6:12 pm

DMing has all but ruined playing for me. The DM part of my brain just constantly tries to take over and shape events. This has made me better at playing leader of face type characters though.

Speaking of which, my best (worst) character in recent memory is an Elven Face from Shadowrun named Murdoch (he gave hundreds of aliases for his first name) who worked in the sex dungeon part of an extremely have it your way night club. In any other campaign, this would have been the villain. He was greedy, manipulative, scheming constantly, and utterly without scruple in business and in combat. In Shadowrun this of course just made him very adept at his job of navigating the treacherous social waters of that world.

EDIT: Oh, he also literally practiced Black Magic, which in Shadowrun means he fed off extreme emotions, hence the sex dungeon and general agent of sin persona.

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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Defenestration » Thu Dec 13, 2018 3:15 am

Shadowrun... man. What a love/hate relationship with that game. It's utterly unplayable without Chummer, a fan-maintained mod that does all the math, the books are 3 steps from being inscrutable, and you may love the setting but it is inextricably tied to the goddamn system.

I loved my "fuck you got mine... but I'll barely be professional" chronic alcoholic, fighting game obsessed Decker/Sniper named Okizeme.
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Re: Xanathar’s Guide to Cleavin’ a Goblin Clean in Twain (D&D)

Postby Defenestration » Thu Dec 13, 2018 4:15 am

Oh, and the bravado filled, completely inexperienced and foolish teenage Tarot tradition mage that was so incredibly recklessly eager to draw to summon a completely random spirit for the purpose of solving any problem in front of him it even gave Murdoch pause
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