Friday's Ultimate Vanity Project: 100 Games, 100 Reviews

[Friday]

34. Star Ocean: The Second Story (PS1)

Oh it's just them. A game where I don't have to copy paste the fucking "boring jrpg standard battles" blurb!

Star Ocean is a sci-fi/fantasy game with robust, deep mechanics and a live action battle system. You can play as either everyone's favorite dweeb Cloud Claude has advanced forward, or REEEEEENA!!!, a hick country girl who is also a magic elf. The game is 95% the same no matter who you choose, but there is one character locked either way and some other minor differences. Claude wanders into a teleporter on some distant world and ends up saving Rena's life from Yetis with a phaser. Then Rena gets kidnapped by a sex slaver, Claude burns out the rest of his phaser charge rescuing her, but she escapes on her own anyway, and from there you save the entire universe from a mechanical/magical/biological robot with a mad scientists brain downloaded into it who wants to annihilate all matter because he's angry about his government being tyrannical corrupt dickheads who killed his daughter.

I guess some stuff happens in-between, it's wild.

It Looks like I can use my maximum force when playing this game, because though the main path is fairly easy, all the optional content is balls to wall hard. Which is why I love this game so much!

It's got a crafting system, a skill system that you dump points into every time you level up, and customizable AI for your party including turning individual spells on and off and assigning up to 2 skills for each fighter they can use at a time. All in all, this is my JRPG of choice when it comes to the combat, which is fast paced and fun. Sure, the grinding can get tedious with how many battles you're expected to do, but at least the combat is interesting. Aside from the LONG AS FUCK UNSKIPPABLE PS1 ERA SPELL ANIMATIONS but you can avoid most of that (not the enemy casts of course) by just not using the spellcasters on your team. Sorry, Celine, you'll have to stay BeHIND me?!

The characters are alright. Nothing to write home about. The "Personal action" thing you can do in towns where your party splits up and you can go find and talk to them to trigger events and character details is neat (if a massive timesink as you basically need to explore every town twice if you want to see all content) but the characters themselves are just not really that interesting. You've got the angry cool guy swordsman, the sexy three eyed Opera in a red dress with a massive fuckoff sci-fi rifle, the genki girl who loves robots, an arrogant caster kid, a sexy caster girl wearing a hula hoop, and Ashton, a depressed swordsman cursed with two dragons living on his shoulders, who is best. They sound more interesting than they actually are.

The graphics and sound and especially voice clips are all very strongly PS1 era, but at least the character sprites are still sprites and not that godawful early polygon shit. It's fine and has aged okay.

The reason I love this game as much as I do is it has a really fleshed out optional endgame, with a huge hidden secret super-dungeon, a super boss at the end of it, then a harder version of that super boss you can summon by being good at music, and then an even more hidden insane super-boss that requires you to not miss a super early game event as well as unlock a ton of more hidden shit. Combined with the combat system, this creates really fun (and tough) battles that require you to be both strategic and think on your feet.

Do I recommend this game:
Star Ocean is a messy game. It's all over the place. But it's got charm and lots of good mechanics and it's certainly a game you can sink 200 hours into if you wanted to. (The main game is more like a 60-80 hour playthrough.) So, uh. If you're in the mood for a glorious mess of a JRPG, yes. Otherwise, stay away.

Well, that's somewhere around eighty points!

[fanboymaster]

I have played SO2 more times than any human should and one thing that always strikes me is that to pair Opera with anyone other than her canonical boyfriend the easiest path is to straight up let her boyfriend die, which would be garden variety fucked up if Claude couldn't get a ton of points with her after that by talking to her in one specific area which causes her to say "lol he sucked anyway wanna hook up"

I've long held that the secret of games that really stick with most people is not in-depth reactivty, but a broad swath of reactivty. SO2 has a ton of deep systems but a lot of simple interactions. The relationship system that determines what 20 second ending you'll get is pretty thin and gameable but it reacts just enough to acknowledge the player's choices to make it fun. Shit yeah tank my parties relationship to the protagonist because they're a pickpocket, or don't because they split off to do all their petty thievery. The critical path to the game can be shaved down to about 25 hours for a player that knows how to game it so the game lends itself to strange theme runs because only 2 party members are compulsory, it's a distinctly flavored game that no one, not even tri-ace ever recaptured. Make your party a counterfeiter ring, synthesize the best weapon 3 hours in, have everyone write books about themselves and force each other to read them, the game basks in the strange ways its systems grind against each other and common sense and for that I love it.

[Friday]

33. Mega Man X (SNES)

What the fuck can I say about this game?

Mega Man 2 is the pinnacle of NES Mega Man design. X is the pinnacle of the modern era.

Here, let me list this game's flaws:

1. You don't start with the dash.
2. It's not mapped by default to one of the shoulder buttons.

yep.

Swap weapons with L/R. (well, L/X, after remapping Dash.) Weapon balance. Graphics that blew your fucking mind coming off the NES. Absolutely amazing soundtrack and sfx. Unlike the later NES titles, the game is actually balanced around you have a charge-up mega buster, and even then the weapons are still powerful and useful. I absolutely love the sloped floors and the feeling of dashing around and bouncing off walls. The game controls like a hot buttery dream.

Hidden items, capsules and sub tanks give you a reason to explore every stage, turning the game into a treasure hunt. Depending on stage order, certain things will change in the levels you visit, which is an interesting touch. I absolutely love the attention to detail this game has.

MMX was the first very real sign that gaming was starting to grow up. Mega Man Original Flavor was always very kiddy, with cartoonish characters and simple plots. X takes all that and smashes it to bits, replacing it with more realistically proportioned heroes, dangerous, animalistic bosses, and a plot about robot fascism. Well, the first game is less about robot fascism, but that's the eventual direction it goes. Gaming was clearly growing up, or at least in the rebellious teen phase.

Later iterations in the series would do what Mega Man games always do: fuck up the original (or, well, 2's) perfect balance in favor of more bullshit. Though I guess they do start you off with the dash from then on.

I'm just gonna assume that most of you have seen Egoraptor's video on how good MMX's intro stage is, so I'll skip talking at length about how it teaches you how to play flawlessly and gives you a firm tone and theme of the game in the first boss, Vile. Suffice it to say that the people who made this game knew what they were doing.

The stages are varied and interesting. The Sigma fortress is, if not as amazing as WilyFort2, probably second to best of all the endgame levels in Mega Man games. And the final battle with Sigma (and his dog) is a hell of a lot cooler and better than Wily.

Everything about this game is fucking amazing. It sounds disingenuous to say that, almost, like "if it's so amazing then give some examples" but like seriously, everything is great. The music is hard rock chiptune as fuck, the enemies explode into bits when you shove your white hot fully charged shot into them, the bosses are solid and challenging (well, until you've played the game ten times and have all their patterns and weaknesses memorized, because gUyS dArK sOuLs iS eAsY aCtUaLlY) the level design is difficult without being cheap, and even the story, characters and themes are good.

The game even has a twist ending! And a creepy one, at that! What more could you ask for?

Do I recommend this game:
Yeah of course. You might ask "if you think this game is so great, why isn't it higher on the list" and the answer would be "actually, if this was a list of games I considered BEST, it would be." But this is a list about games I LIKE the most, and sometimes I like the ideas of games that are flawed more than I like a near-perfectly executed idea and concept that I simply am not as into.

But yeah. This is one of the all time best videogames ever made. If you haven't played Mega Man X, you absolutely should.

[Thad]

I never could retrain myself to dash with the shoulders. MMZ never felt right unless I played it on the GameCube and remapped the dash to X/Y.

That said, putting it on the right shoulder probably is the better placement, if only I could retrain my muscle memory. Of all the RS that's resulted in the RSI in my right thumb, a not-insignificant amount involved hundreds of hours of my life spent holding Y while frequently pressing B and/or A. (I've often mentioned before that I never could play an MMX game comfortably with a controller with a right thumbstick, and that I think that's very likely the reason they added an autocharge to the later games.)

And the game's balance is perfect (I'd actually defend not starting with the dash, as it's a not-so-subtle nudge to start with Chill Penguin, and I'd substitute "the helmet upgrade is damn-near useless" in your list of flaws). I spoke about that at some length when I described the ways in which the remake fucks it up. Something as simple as playing musical chairs with the capsules really makes the game significantly worse.

[Brantly B.]

In the context of this being the first "X" game after six iterations of Mega Man and countless clones, not starting with the dash makes perfect sense. Up to that point the game is mostly still working within the paradigm set by the NES's limitations; it's two buttons, one speed, with the wall kick being very unique but still just a new way to implement Item 2 or whatever, and the shoulder buttons just a macro for going into the menu. The dash changes everything; it adds a third button (and introduces a generation of gamers to the claw hand), nearly doubles Mega Man's set of movement options, and sets a pace for the game that the originals could never have achieved.

It's also, as it's presented, an important introduction to the concept of upgrading. The underlying theme of the game is X himself growing beyond the limitations of Mega Man's ability set; getting the sprint is the first time you're told that your character himself can gain new powers, instead of just getting another toy to use.

My main complaint about it, which is admittedly weird and minor, is that putting it in Chill Penguin's stage messes with the part of my gamer brain that demands that heavily elementally themed enemies show up somewhere in the middle of the difficulty ramp. When I was young I'd always start with Storm Eagle even though everything about him is specifically much harder without the dash, because damn it, he looks like a first boss. Maybe that's intentional too? Who knows.

[Thad]

My main complaint about it, which is admittedly weird and minor, is that putting it in Chill Penguin's stage messes with the part of my gamer brain that demands that heavily elementally themed enemies show up somewhere in the middle of the difficulty ramp.

Heavily elementally-themed enemies, or stages? Going back to MM1, I suppose I'd put Ice Man the boss in the middle of the difficulty curve (maybe lower if you've already beaten Elec Man, but then again there are a lot of Robot Masters in MM1 who you can kill in 2 or 3 hits with the right weapon) but Ice Man's stage at the absolute top of it.

But that's MM1, which is not a representative game in the series, and Ice Man's stage, which is a buggy fucking mess.

MM2 is probably the better comparison, and what's interesting in comparing Heat Man's stage to Flame Mammoth's is that they both get a lot easier if you beat another stage first, and it's *not* the stage where you get the weapon they're weak against.

As far as stage design, you certainly wouldn't want to go to a stage with weird physics (ice, snow, underwater, etc.) before introducing normal physics, but that's one of the interesting things about the X series (as well as MM7 and 8) having an intro stage: no matter what stage you pick first, you've already been through a stage with normal physics.

I start with Blizzard Buffalo in X4, too.

(Come to think of it, I also start with Star Man in MM5, which is a weird-physics stage (outer space, which plays the same as underwater). But MM5 breaks a lot of rules from the jump. And anyway it's the fifth game in the series, so if you're playing it you've probably played a Mega Man game before.)

When I was young I'd always start with Storm Eagle even though everything about him is specifically much harder without the dash, because damn it, he looks like a first boss. Maybe that's intentional too? Who knows.

Also bears noting that Chill Penguin and Storm Eagle are the two levels that change other levels when you beat them.

[Friday]

32. Mega Man X4 (PS1)

Okay, I'm gonna just be completely honest with you: X4 actually deserves to be like 3 tiers down compared to MMX. It's a worse game in pretty much every way.

But, you know. I can finally play as my robot husbando.

Sure, you could in X3. For one life. As a special guest character. But X4 lets you play the whole game as everyone's favorite girly robot boi, and HA HU YEAH HUA YEAH!!! it's fun.

That's it. That's the whole review. "Like the original X, but worse, but you can be Zero, and Zero is rad."

Plotwise, 4 is actually where the whole robot fascism thing really jumps off. Worried that the Maverick Hunters are just targeting whatever dissident forces they want, a Military force known as Repliforce decides to fuck off and of course the Maverick Hunters decides this means they must be Maverick. So you go around killing a bunch of separatists who it turns out never had the virus/were not maverick! (Well, except for Split Mushroom, who is explicitly working for Sigma.) There's never a big reveal that they were bad all along. Instead, the reveal is the side you work for is actually bad all along, and Sigma is manipulating things from behind the scenes. In a cloak.

Anyway, that's almost the end of the review but IT'S NOT OVER YET!!! because we also have to talk about how playing as Zero changes up the feel and flow of the game, forcing you to get close to your enemies in order to saber them. He also controls more like a fighting game character than a jumpy shooty guy, with special inputs to get moves to come out (moves that you collect from dead bosses) and combos you can perform. For my money, X4 has the best Zero of all the games that let you play him. X also starts getting several armors he can wear in 4, who cares.

Do I recommend this game:
Yes. It's a must play for Mega Man fans, of course, but it's also just a solid platformer where you get to be a robot with a lightsaber who does sick combos. You won't wonder what you're playing foooorrrrr.

[Niku]

mega man x is the only great mega man x game, but that doesn't mean most of the rest of them aren't worth chasing that high with

(now mega man ZERO on the other hand, hoo damn)

[Thad]

mega man x is the only great mega man x game, but that doesn't mean most of the rest of them aren't worth chasing that high with

6 is the only one I'd say is straight-out bad, though I barely remember 7 and the bits I remember there are mostly 3D shit that didn't work, so maybe it's bad too. 8 definitely has parts that are bad but winds up being pretty okay on balance. Not as good as 1-5 but better than 6 or 7.

Course, for those who don't know, the series wasn't supposed to continue after 5, so there's probably a good reason those last three games don't feel like they belong.

[Niku]

I liked X6 more than a lot of people did, but I think that’s because by the time I played it my expectations had been cratered through the center of the earth. It is still probably the worst official Mega Man game I can think of. The level design is astonishing in how much “never do this” it showcases.

[Thad]

I liked X6 more than a lot of people did, but I think that’s because by the time I played it my expectations had been cratered through the center of the earth. It is still probably the worst official Mega Man game I can think of.

Depends; are we counting Mega Man Xtreme?

[Thad]

Adding: I think X5's worth discussing because it's an almost-great game done in by its own ambitions. It's not just that it's ambitious, it's that it's ambitious in multiple and completely contradictory ways. It wants to be the final canonical ending to the X series that pays off the foreshadowing that's been building since X2, but it also wants to have a branching storyline with multiple endings. It wants to build on X1's device of finishing one stage affecting the layout of others and encourage you to experiment with different stage orders, but it's also got a ticking clock that punishes you if you don't blow through the game as quickly as possible. And also all the bosses are named after members of Guns N' Roses for some reason. It's really a mess and I love it.

[Friday]

yeah X5 is a very interesting game. I agree with everything you said and would add that I have a certain respect for it in terms of very consciously attempting to finish up the plot.

But then they had to make more games because Capcom was entering the bad times.

I liked X6 more than a lot of people did, but I think that’s because by the time I played it my expectations had been cratered through the center of the earth. It is still probably the worst official Mega Man game I can think of. The level design is astonishing in how much “never do this” it showcases.

Speaking of which!

Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Some of those levels (most of them, in fact) are just absolutely horrid. The game apart from the level design isn't even that bad, but well, that's sort of the main thing in a Mega Man game.

[Thad]

I liked X6 more than a lot of people did, but I think that’s because by the time I played it my expectations had been cratered through the center of the earth. It is still probably the worst official Mega Man game I can think of. The level design is astonishing in how much “never do this” it showcases.

Speaking of which!

Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Some of those levels (most of them, in fact) are just absolutely horrid. The game apart from the level design isn't even that bad, but well, that's sort of the main thing in a Mega Man game.

Doesn't it make extra lives actually detrimental? In that if you run out of lives, you can continue from the same checkpoint as if you'd just died, but also have the option of saving or quitting back to the stage select menu?

For God's sake just get rid of lives and let people save or exit the stage whenever the fuck they want. It's amazing how difficult a concept that was for so long and that some developers still don't seem to have gotten the message.

But on the plus side, it's a Mega Man game where you can duck.

[Friday]

Now I am imaging a game that's built around a "avoid extra lives" concept where you have to like, make your way backwards in the stage by dying (and not having an extra life) so you can flip switches that allow you to progress and spikes and enemies are super rare and one-use per playthrough

[Niku]

mega man xtreme and xtreme 2 get graded on the GAME BOY SCALE and thus are better than x6

mega man v is of course the only great mega man GAME BOY SCALE game but the rest are fun enough for cramped miserable experiences

[Niku]

what i'm saying is there is literally not a single mega man game that i despise enough that i would not play it again right this second.

[mharr]

Now I am imaging a game that's built around a "avoid extra lives" concept where you have to like, make your way backwards in the stage by dying (and not having an extra life) so you can flip switches that allow you to progress and spikes and enemies are super rare and one-use per playthrough

Jesse Venbrux's Karoshi series plays with some of these ideas, although it's more single screen logic puzzle than action platformer.

[fanboymaster]

I played Mega Man in Doctor Wily's Revenge first and as a result i categorically despise all classic styled mega man games.

[Friday]

31. Escape Velocity: Nova (PC)

We're almost to the top 30, and from now on (if you haven't noticed already) the games are getting pretty predictable. I'm sure most of you could name at least half of the games to come in the next 20 easily.

So it's nice to be able to drop a "literally nobody has played this or even heard of this" bomb this high up. (Okay, some of you might have, but I don't think any of you are going to argue that this is a relative unknown and fairly obscure.) And it deserves to be this high up.

EV: Nova is the third (and final) game in Ambrosia's trilogy of EV games. EV1 was good, EV2 was a failed experiment, and EV: Nova is where everything just clicked.

What kind of game is it, you ask? Ever heard of Freelancer? Imagine Freelancer but a top down.

You start with a shuttle and a dream, and from there you fly around the sector doing randomized repeatable missions. Passengers, Cargo, Combat. You can buy and sell goods, get a cargo ship to load down with enough goods to attract pirates, hire a fleet to protect you from pirates, become a pirate yourself, all the normal stuff that's in freeform spacesims like this.

EV: Nova also has six fully fleshed out primary story paths, and several side story paths that can (depending on your actions and also some RNG) dump you into the main ones or just dead end. You've got The Federation, which controls Sol and like 30 more systems, and is basically "what if Evil Chekov from Babylon Five ran Earth?", The Rebellion, which is woke humans who control like two systems opposing the Feds, The Aurorans, who are a Klingon-like warrior race who control the south of the map, The Polaris, a super-advanced but passive race who control the east, The Vell-os, who are super psychics who literally fly around in psi-ships projected from their own minds (and are enslaved by the Feds) and the Pirates, who are, well, Pirates. (They also hate the Feds.)

You can only do one main story per playthrough, so, you're in for some replays if you want to see all the content. Or you can just ignore the plot and do whatever. It's a big universe, and probably like, 70%? of the map isn't even inhabited except by super weird aliens who you cannot communicate with, much less refuel your ship with.

There's a ton of ships to buy or acquire, and tons of ways to customize them. Will you go with a sleek and fast fighter and do mercenary work, a large lumbering freighter loaded down with cargo and missile turrets to fend off pirates, an expensive but heavily customized cruiser with energy weapons, or a fully decked out, heavily armored, but slow as fuck capital ship with railguns that can blow apart ships from several screenlengths away?

If this kind of shit sounds like your jam, and you don't need OMG THREE DEE!!! to have it be enjoyable, then EV: Nova is the game of your dreams.

Protip: Play on Hardcore mode (death deletes your save, no loading) for the true experience. (Don't do it on your first time.)

Do I recommend this game:
Yes and no. Games like this are not for everyone. The gameplay can get repetitive as you complete similar missions or just do the same trade run over and over to build up cash for the ship and mods you want. But there's a lot of unique missions and side story stuff, and of course the main six stories, to keep it interesting. Good luck fucking actually getting ahold of it, though.