#Tell Friday
Re: #Tell Friday
thanks, now "sanc the hogg" is going to be forever stuck in my mind as some sort of lesbian euphemism
Re: #Tell Friday
nosimpleway wrote:Mighty and Ray are two of the other 99 people in this scenario I guess
not a goddamn chance
-
beatbandito
- Posts: 4313
- Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:04 am
Re: #Tell Friday
I could've sworn I already figured out how to embed tiktoks.
Anyway Game Over, Return of Manic Pixie Dreamgirl
Anyway Game Over, Return of Manic Pixie Dreamgirl
Re: #Tell Friday
May not be up to my usual meme standards, but something about it just screamed Friday to me
How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.
-
nosimpleway
- Posts: 4725
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:31 pm
Re: #Tell Friday
I didn't do the sound balancing, I know it sucks
-
Mongrel
- Posts: 21390
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
- Location: There's winners and there's losers // And I'm south of that line
Re: #Tell Friday
Büge wrote:
That's the law around here, you got to wear your sunglasses
So you can feel cool
-
Silversong
- Posts: 724
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:00 pm
- Location: Michigan
Re: #Tell Friday
That's doubly funny to me because I have recently been on a massive Roman history binge. Like, I've read most of the early Ceasers pages on wikipedia and a bunch of links off those pages, and watched like... 10 hours? of a channel dedicated to the original Ceaser's life
Spoilers: He gets assassinated
Spoilers: He gets assassinated
-
Mongrel
- Posts: 21390
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
- Location: There's winners and there's losers // And I'm south of that line
Re: #Tell Friday
Friday wrote:That's doubly funny to me because I have recently been on a massive Roman history binge. Like, I've read most of the early Ceasers pages on wikipedia and a bunch of links off those pages, and watched like... 10 hours? of a channel dedicated to the original Ceaser's life
Spoilers: He gets assassinated
Okay, so, I have to ask. Was this because of the goofball TikTok thing a week or two back where women ask their boyfriends/husbands how often they think of the Roman Empire and then are baffled or amazed when they say they do on a daily/weekly basis, while the guys were like "uh... why is that weird? This question is weird."
Because the question on my mind was like "Are you aware of how constantly we're bombarded in the Western world by things that both accidentally and deliberately reference the Roman Empire, especially in the US? Why does the Roman Empire not cross your mind once in a while?" and the only answer I could think of was selection bias for particularly clueless girlfriends who are ignorant of both history and their immediate surroundings.
Or was this one of those funny coincidences? :D
To be clear, I know you already know your history and understand you were just brushing up/going in depth (HUR HUR HUR).
Re: #Tell Friday
haha no
literally what happened was a youtube video called "the longest year in human history" popped up in my youtube algofeed and I was like lol what
so i clicked it and it was about how Ceaser (the first one) created the calendar we (almost) still use today but the old shit had drifted so far out of whack because the romans used a lunar calendar that he added 90 days to the current year to fix it.
so yeah BCE 46 was the longest year in human history. Kind of.
additional facts:
The Julian calendar drift was fixed in 1582 when we switched to the Gregorian. They fixed the drift from the Julian by skipping 11 days. The change from Julian to Gregorian is basically just fixing leap years so that 3 out of every 100 is skipped, which the Julian did not do (they had a leap year every 4 years no matter what) so it drifted over the next 1600 years.
However, this is actually still not good enough, though it is incredibly close. By the 49th century, the year will have drifted by 1 day. This could be fixed by humans in the 49th century by skipping another leap year, but there are currently no plans to do so.
anyway, the video also had a bunch of other stuff Ceaser was up to in 46 BCE. It was interesting and the guy presenting is really good at it, so I checked out the rest of his stuff and ended up watching 10 hours of Ceaser's life and then the stuff in the aftermath of his assassination. You know, the adventures of Decimus, Cassius, Brutus, my bro Cicero, Octavian (the first Roman Emperor, also known as Augustus) and his right hand man Agrippa (who was a fucking time traveler from the future in terms of his military tactics and also fixed a lot of Rome's problems at the time by being a baller city engineer)
And of course most famously, the adventures of smooth brain bad brain Mark Antony. And Cleopatra, who had a lot of really good ideas that Mark refused to listen to and so they both died.
By literally all historical accounts Cleopatra was a fucking powerhouse of wit, charm, intelligence, and political instinct. People debate to this day whether she was "hot as fuck" but my money is on "probably not" as she was a product of generations of incest. But she had it where it counts in every other capacity. Watching her get dragged down with Antony's consistent bad leadership and choices was infuriating. Talk about hitching your wagon to the wrong star. I wonder if she really did love him?
My only consolation is that it was satisfying to see Antony go down the way he did after what he did to my bro Cicero.
anyway after I finished all ten hours of videos (they end at Antony and Cleopatra's deaths) I was too invested and wanted to know what happened next, so I turned to wikipedia. A much dryer and less entertaining way to learn, but it gets the job done. Sort of like running out of anime and going to read the manga.
literally what happened was a youtube video called "the longest year in human history" popped up in my youtube algofeed and I was like lol what
so i clicked it and it was about how Ceaser (the first one) created the calendar we (almost) still use today but the old shit had drifted so far out of whack because the romans used a lunar calendar that he added 90 days to the current year to fix it.
so yeah BCE 46 was the longest year in human history. Kind of.
additional facts:
The Julian calendar drift was fixed in 1582 when we switched to the Gregorian. They fixed the drift from the Julian by skipping 11 days. The change from Julian to Gregorian is basically just fixing leap years so that 3 out of every 100 is skipped, which the Julian did not do (they had a leap year every 4 years no matter what) so it drifted over the next 1600 years.
However, this is actually still not good enough, though it is incredibly close. By the 49th century, the year will have drifted by 1 day. This could be fixed by humans in the 49th century by skipping another leap year, but there are currently no plans to do so.
anyway, the video also had a bunch of other stuff Ceaser was up to in 46 BCE. It was interesting and the guy presenting is really good at it, so I checked out the rest of his stuff and ended up watching 10 hours of Ceaser's life and then the stuff in the aftermath of his assassination. You know, the adventures of Decimus, Cassius, Brutus, my bro Cicero, Octavian (the first Roman Emperor, also known as Augustus) and his right hand man Agrippa (who was a fucking time traveler from the future in terms of his military tactics and also fixed a lot of Rome's problems at the time by being a baller city engineer)
And of course most famously, the adventures of smooth brain bad brain Mark Antony. And Cleopatra, who had a lot of really good ideas that Mark refused to listen to and so they both died.
By literally all historical accounts Cleopatra was a fucking powerhouse of wit, charm, intelligence, and political instinct. People debate to this day whether she was "hot as fuck" but my money is on "probably not" as she was a product of generations of incest. But she had it where it counts in every other capacity. Watching her get dragged down with Antony's consistent bad leadership and choices was infuriating. Talk about hitching your wagon to the wrong star. I wonder if she really did love him?
My only consolation is that it was satisfying to see Antony go down the way he did after what he did to my bro Cicero.
anyway after I finished all ten hours of videos (they end at Antony and Cleopatra's deaths) I was too invested and wanted to know what happened next, so I turned to wikipedia. A much dryer and less entertaining way to learn, but it gets the job done. Sort of like running out of anime and going to read the manga.
-
nosimpleway
- Posts: 4725
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:31 pm
Re: #Tell Friday
Yeah, it used to be that every Monday was a Greg day.
Tuesday, Ian.
Wednesday, Greg.
Thursday, Ian.
It was the Greg or Ian calendar.
Tuesday, Ian.
Wednesday, Greg.
Thursday, Ian.
It was the Greg or Ian calendar.
-
Mongrel
- Posts: 21390
- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
- Location: There's winners and there's losers // And I'm south of that line
Re: #Tell Friday
Everything I Know About Classical History I Learned From Asterix Comics.
(this is only kind of a half-joke)
Anyway, did you end up reading up on the long period of Republican paralysis (Sulla, Marius, etc.) in the century leading up to Caesar? It's common for Americans to think about Rome because of Imperial Angst, so that period can be quite fascinating to look at. I wouldn't say the two are comparable (I agree with the Sam Clemons Thesis of History, where history doesn't repeat so much as it rhymes), but there are interesting similarities.
Oh and the Calendar thing has had recent effects even today. See, the Orthodox Church hung on to the Julian calendar for way longer, so while most Catholic countries converted to the Gregorian soon afterwards, and the Protestants generally did in the following century (not switchin to no damn Papist calendar! Grumble grumble!) the Orthodox countries further east hung on longer depending usually on the geography but also local factors.
Quite a few Orthodox countries didn't swap until after Russia finally did so in 1918 per a decree of the Bolsheviks, but after that most swapped before the end of the 20's, with the Greeks themselves the last Europeans to switch, in 1923. This is why some Orthodox/Slavic countries (mainly just Russia now) celebrate Christmas in January. When Ukraine moved the date of Christmas to December last year it was an explicit rejection of that direct link to Russian Orthodoxy in particular. A lot of Orthodox countries have dueling national churches where one uses Gregorian dates in full and is sometimes more progressive, and the other celebrates holidays on the Julian system, often with various other "old church" idiosyncrasies, even though the dating and calendar in use is Gregorian for both.
Sometimes people get this idea that other than Protestant-Catholic differences European churches are usually nationally monolithic, mostly because of the couple of cases where this is true, like Ireland. But really Europe's Christians are just as patchwork in their adherence to a particular church as the ones in any US state.
(this is only kind of a half-joke)
Anyway, did you end up reading up on the long period of Republican paralysis (Sulla, Marius, etc.) in the century leading up to Caesar? It's common for Americans to think about Rome because of Imperial Angst, so that period can be quite fascinating to look at. I wouldn't say the two are comparable (I agree with the Sam Clemons Thesis of History, where history doesn't repeat so much as it rhymes), but there are interesting similarities.
Oh and the Calendar thing has had recent effects even today. See, the Orthodox Church hung on to the Julian calendar for way longer, so while most Catholic countries converted to the Gregorian soon afterwards, and the Protestants generally did in the following century (not switchin to no damn Papist calendar! Grumble grumble!) the Orthodox countries further east hung on longer depending usually on the geography but also local factors.
Quite a few Orthodox countries didn't swap until after Russia finally did so in 1918 per a decree of the Bolsheviks, but after that most swapped before the end of the 20's, with the Greeks themselves the last Europeans to switch, in 1923. This is why some Orthodox/Slavic countries (mainly just Russia now) celebrate Christmas in January. When Ukraine moved the date of Christmas to December last year it was an explicit rejection of that direct link to Russian Orthodoxy in particular. A lot of Orthodox countries have dueling national churches where one uses Gregorian dates in full and is sometimes more progressive, and the other celebrates holidays on the Julian system, often with various other "old church" idiosyncrasies, even though the dating and calendar in use is Gregorian for both.
Sometimes people get this idea that other than Protestant-Catholic differences European churches are usually nationally monolithic, mostly because of the couple of cases where this is true, like Ireland. But really Europe's Christians are just as patchwork in their adherence to a particular church as the ones in any US state.
Re: #Tell Friday
It honestly tweedles my dee when I hear other people saying Cicero rocks. He often gets painted with the same shitbrush as the entire legal profession because countless shysters and crooked judges have plaster busts of Cicero installed in their workspaces.
It's almost a cliche in movies featuring aliens or robots or mutants visiting divine retribution on some corporate legal twaffle, to briefly pivot the bloodsprayed camera away from the victim, to his neatly appointed bookshelves, whereupon rests a pristine white plaster bust of the famous orator, which is then suddenly smashed to the floor and dashed into a million tiny white pieces by the whipping tentacles of the mutants created by his employer's waste effluent into the South Branch River or the thundering tread of the death robots his CEO created or the anti-mining-corp guerrillas raking the desk and its owner with Uzi rounds.
I'm currently re-reading McCullough's First Man in Rome and The Grass Crown. It's a bloody trash wallow through the Italian Wars and Marius and Sulla jointly chewing the scenery. I've also got Plutarch's Life of Antony if I feel like an even more soul-hollowing, depressing read.
It's almost a cliche in movies featuring aliens or robots or mutants visiting divine retribution on some corporate legal twaffle, to briefly pivot the bloodsprayed camera away from the victim, to his neatly appointed bookshelves, whereupon rests a pristine white plaster bust of the famous orator, which is then suddenly smashed to the floor and dashed into a million tiny white pieces by the whipping tentacles of the mutants created by his employer's waste effluent into the South Branch River or the thundering tread of the death robots his CEO created or the anti-mining-corp guerrillas raking the desk and its owner with Uzi rounds.
I'm currently re-reading McCullough's First Man in Rome and The Grass Crown. It's a bloody trash wallow through the Italian Wars and Marius and Sulla jointly chewing the scenery. I've also got Plutarch's Life of Antony if I feel like an even more soul-hollowing, depressing read.
Placeholder for something witty that doesn't make me sound like an asshole
Re: #Tell Friday
On the subject of lore from the classical period of antiquity:
How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.
Re: #Tell Friday
I have not yet delved into the Sulla and Spartacus stuff, because somehow I got distracted by WW2.
I actually have sort of a meme with my friends in that whenever I do wikipedia dives it's only a matter of time before I somehow end up at WW2, reading some new country's perspective or facet of the war. Follow enough links and you WILL end up at WW2.
But yeah I will circle back around to the stuff leading up to Ceaser's time. The guy who made all the videos mentions that stuff a lot, including how Crassus was actually a pretty good commander during those wars until he decided to walk into Parthia like a complete moron and get his fucking ass kicked.
My favorite part is the guy who delivered the most crushing defeat to Roman forces ever, the Parthian General Surena, was executed afterwards. King Orodes II sent Surena to slow down and harry Crassus after he learned of the invasion, but Surena was like "oops I accidentally the whole Legions and captured all their standards" and this was such an amazing and unlooked for victory that King Orodes II felt threatened by Surena and had him killed.
History is fucking wild. So many times I'm reading shit that really happened and thinking "man, if this was a movie nobody could believe it." Truth really is not bound by the tenets of realistic storytelling.
There are very few people in history that I can actually stand behind, mostly because the ones who get remembered tend to be mass murderers. Like as cool as Ceaser was, he did a lot of genocide against the Gauls. People defend conquerors of antiquity by saying "well back then it was normal for that kind of shit" but like, come on. He ordered the deaths of women and children. Entire tribes annihilated, villages burned down. I don't deny his military genius or that he did some good reforms (before he let all the power go to his head and started sitting on a golden "not throne" in the senate) or that he was popular with the people of Rome, but like, the dude was a mass murderer who attacked other peoples for no reason other than to increase his own personal glory. He's an interesting figure to learn about but I don't feel sad when he gets stabbed in the dick (actually literally) by Brutus.
Cicero, on the other hand, actually made me tear up a bit when he got his throat slit. A true statesman and lover of peace. Did his absolute best to prevent the fall of the Republic. I will forever despise Antony for proscribing him.
The other true bro was Titus Labienus. He also did a lot of genocide in Gaul and indeed was perhaps just as responsible for Ceaser's victories there as Ceaser was, but my god what a republic loyalist. The only guy in history who reacted to Ceaser crossing the Rubicon with the appropriate level of outrage. Ceaser and him were friends and Ceaser tried many times to extend an olive branch but Labienus kept slapping it down. "Dude you did a Jan 6th to the Roman Republic except it worked. You're a traitor."
Died in combat during the Battle of Munda and was buried by Ceaser with full military honors. Press F.
***********
Also, Ceaser, covered in stab wounds, famously saying "you too, my child?" to Brutus right before Brutus stabbed him in the dick and all of this happening DIRECTLY UNDER THE GIANT STATUE OF POMPEY is like, the maximum level of symbolism possible. Just an A+++ assassination.
Dante may have put Brutus on the lowest level of hell reserved for betrayal but Dante was fucking wrong. Ceaser deserved to get stabbed in the dick under the giant statue of his main political rival for overthrowing the Republic. And also all the genocide. I don't give a fuck how charismatic he was.
I actually have sort of a meme with my friends in that whenever I do wikipedia dives it's only a matter of time before I somehow end up at WW2, reading some new country's perspective or facet of the war. Follow enough links and you WILL end up at WW2.
But yeah I will circle back around to the stuff leading up to Ceaser's time. The guy who made all the videos mentions that stuff a lot, including how Crassus was actually a pretty good commander during those wars until he decided to walk into Parthia like a complete moron and get his fucking ass kicked.
My favorite part is the guy who delivered the most crushing defeat to Roman forces ever, the Parthian General Surena, was executed afterwards. King Orodes II sent Surena to slow down and harry Crassus after he learned of the invasion, but Surena was like "oops I accidentally the whole Legions and captured all their standards" and this was such an amazing and unlooked for victory that King Orodes II felt threatened by Surena and had him killed.
History is fucking wild. So many times I'm reading shit that really happened and thinking "man, if this was a movie nobody could believe it." Truth really is not bound by the tenets of realistic storytelling.
Cicero rocks
There are very few people in history that I can actually stand behind, mostly because the ones who get remembered tend to be mass murderers. Like as cool as Ceaser was, he did a lot of genocide against the Gauls. People defend conquerors of antiquity by saying "well back then it was normal for that kind of shit" but like, come on. He ordered the deaths of women and children. Entire tribes annihilated, villages burned down. I don't deny his military genius or that he did some good reforms (before he let all the power go to his head and started sitting on a golden "not throne" in the senate) or that he was popular with the people of Rome, but like, the dude was a mass murderer who attacked other peoples for no reason other than to increase his own personal glory. He's an interesting figure to learn about but I don't feel sad when he gets stabbed in the dick (actually literally) by Brutus.
Cicero, on the other hand, actually made me tear up a bit when he got his throat slit. A true statesman and lover of peace. Did his absolute best to prevent the fall of the Republic. I will forever despise Antony for proscribing him.
The other true bro was Titus Labienus. He also did a lot of genocide in Gaul and indeed was perhaps just as responsible for Ceaser's victories there as Ceaser was, but my god what a republic loyalist. The only guy in history who reacted to Ceaser crossing the Rubicon with the appropriate level of outrage. Ceaser and him were friends and Ceaser tried many times to extend an olive branch but Labienus kept slapping it down. "Dude you did a Jan 6th to the Roman Republic except it worked. You're a traitor."
Died in combat during the Battle of Munda and was buried by Ceaser with full military honors. Press F.
***********
Also, Ceaser, covered in stab wounds, famously saying "you too, my child?" to Brutus right before Brutus stabbed him in the dick and all of this happening DIRECTLY UNDER THE GIANT STATUE OF POMPEY is like, the maximum level of symbolism possible. Just an A+++ assassination.
Dante may have put Brutus on the lowest level of hell reserved for betrayal but Dante was fucking wrong. Ceaser deserved to get stabbed in the dick under the giant statue of his main political rival for overthrowing the Republic. And also all the genocide. I don't give a fuck how charismatic he was.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests