CHAT DUMP (and Quotes)

[Mongrel]

<Doug> A lot of people have heard of Murphy's Law.
<Doug> But less people have heard of Muphry's Law, which states that if you criticize someone's grammar or spelling, you will make a mistake when you do so
<Faceless> Even fewer are familiar with Cole's Law

[Büge]

Maybe in 2020 Al Franken will run. With Jill Stein as his running mate. The yard signs would be priceless.

[Mongrel]

<Monty> That's the magic smoke. When you smell it, it means all the magic has escaped from your CPU.

[Lyrai]

<#finalfighter 1> I don't have the heart to tell Mongrel he's posting jokes that are older than he is.
<#finalfighter 2> it'd be lost between 3 mongrel posts anyway

[Mongrel]

:[

[Mongrel]

Riffing on stuff in an election chat elsewhere led to this (if it wasn't obvious, DeathSquiggle is good at this shit):

Doctor Carson, Rubio, please friend, Game of Thrones
Southern border, new world order, women shouldn't vote
Body shaming, socialism, DOTA Blizzard-Activision
North Korea, Sochi medals, oscared Dicaprio
Chris Christie, red pills, rigged election, drone kills
Flash mobs, Bush lied, still won't bring back Firefly
Global Warming, vaccines, England quit the whole scene
Dead gorilla, dank memes, David Bowie goodbye

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it

Allegations, classified, Westworld, Spock died
Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Presidential Nobel prize
Netflix, Weiner pics, hoverboards, retro kicks
Stranger things tops charts, Kylo Ren's dad dies
Black lives, ladies rooms, horrible election looms
Epidemic meth labs, Justin Bieber, Uber cabs
Samsung batteries, pipeline, dying bees
Princess Kate, Mayan date, Supreme court justice: late

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it

Ferguson, Chris Kyle, Disney Star Wars, 8 Mile
SpaceX, Amazon, where have all the emails gone?
Doctor Seuss, Obamacare, Sharia law is everywhere?
Dallas shooting homicides, China's running out of brides
League of Legends, Hearthstone, FEMA camps, Toblerone
Prison state, Michael Moore, middle class or working poor
Youtube, shooting sprees, Adkins diet calories
Gay marriage, Dark Knight, transfolk in the spotlight

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it

Hulk Hogan, Crystal Skull, wardrobe failure football
That dress, Noblesse, oil fracking process
Nine-Eleven terror strikes, Indian brand motorbikes
Chelsea Manning, Dying reef, Apologetic Kitkat thief
Wikileaks, change and hope, Colorado reefer vote
Tamir Rice, blown away, what else do I have to say?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it

Birth control, will she win? Twitter feed Kardashian,
Goonshot, 4chan, Gamergate, Trump Klan
Zombie Reagan, Palestine, Who shot down the airline?
Ayatollah's in Iran, terror in Afghanistan
Dressing rooms, beauty queens, old Benghazi murder scenes
Winning Cubs, voting schlubs, No indictment, Bernie flubs
Vaccine denying playboy whore, Jeffery Epstein charges dropped
Longest ever US war, I can't take it anymore

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on...
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the world's been turning

[Brantly B.]

<Smiler> man i lived it
<Smiler> the 2016 wars
<Smiler> we lost a lot of good people

[Büge]

[8:03:43 PM] Celia: Jesus, if I had a dime for how many people I've seen with their Villains Veil or Bruiser's Bandanna renamed to "(Pony)'s Used Panties", I'd probably not have any money and just die from the cancer.

[Lyrai]

There was a big trade back when I played where someone had a Veil for each pony, all colored and named that.

Id on't know if it ever actually sold but Jesus Christ.

[Friday]

<@Friday> !cah Air Bud
<Utsuho> I drink to forget Air Bud
<@Friday> :(
<@Friday> !cah Air Bud
<Utsuho> Air Bud: part of a nutritious daily breakfast.
<@Friday> :(
<@Friday> !cah Air Bud
<Utsuho> What's the new fad diet? Air Bud
<@Friday> :(((((((((((((

[Büge]

simpsons viewing guide:

season 1: just read a wiki summary
season 2: starts to find its footing with some early installment weirdness
season 3: probably the first capital G Good season, a few classics in here
seasons 4-5: probably the absolute high point of the show
seasons 6-7: soul society arc
season 8: filler tournament arc, skip it
season 9: not that good but you need this one to understand principal Skinner's face-heel turn later on
season 10: skippable with a few gems
season 11: skip everything but the last episode
season 12: the first post-timeskip episodes, really flesh out the side characters
seasons 13-15: power creep starts making everyone but Homer redundant, but there's a really good fight where Marge unleashes her bankai. Just Youtube it.
seasons 16-18: cell saga
season 19: meant as a finale and epilogue, leaves a couple of loose ends that are addressed in the OVA
seasons 20-28: reboot that takes the series in a different direction. I've heard good things from other people, but it hasn't grabbed me

[Mongrel]

You can have my guns when you pry them from my curious 6 year old's cold dead hands.

[Mongrel]

<Jack> Can we put Dwayne Johnson in charge of the FDA so that he can smell what everyone is cooking?

[Büge]

quasi-normalcy:
Yet another reason I’m sad Terry Pratchett is dead is because I just know that the Discworld novel he would have written in response to recent developments in Britain and the world would be fucking scathing.

copperbadge:
“A small but growing number of people believe we should magically summon a new world turtle and place Ankh-Morpork on its back in order to leave the Disc entirely, sir.”

“Intriguing.”

“It can’t be done, sir. Especially not the…” Drumknott consulted his paperwork. “…bit where, and I quote, Obviously we’ll leave all the foreigners behind. They seem divided on the precise definition of foreigner but it seems to include anyone who doesn’t look like them, and most people who do look like them but speak funny.”

“Ah, we’ve reached that part, where we define foreigner so we know who to give the boot to,” Vetinari sighed.

“It’s obviously not really plausible, sir, we’d lose a lot of good trade routes if there were no longer any external portions of the Disc attached to us, and having consulted with the alchemists there’s a strong sense among them that we would shortly run out of air to breathe should we leave the Disc’s protective weather systems.”

“Ah, but they can vote on it, you see,” Vetinari said. “They can campaign for it. And just knowing we ought to do it…”

He pulled a report across his desk, one in the crabbed, unmistakable schoolboy handwriting of Sir Samuel. “Crime is up, Drumknott.”

“I wasn’t aware we’d increased the Thieves’ Guild allotments this month, sir.”

“We haven’t. Nor the Assassins’ Guild. Unfortunately the crimes on the rise are of the go-back-where-you-came-from variety and there is, as of yet, no Bigots’ guild.”

“Do you think creating one would stop them, sir?”

“Not in this case, no,” Vetinari murmured. “I suspect we shall have to leave it up to human decency and the efforts of the Watch.”

Drumknott gave him the most horrified look he’d seen since the first time he suggested promoting Sir Samuel.

“Not really, sir?”

“Of course not. Good lord, Drumknott. I shall have some errands for you today, however, and you’d best fetch the Commander. And Mr. De Worde. Get De Worde here first, then bring in Sir Samuel when he’s had just enough time to get nervous in the waiting room. If Sir Samuel is at home, do bring her Ladyship along, otherwise I’ll see her at the dinner tomorrow night. Ah yes, and I believe I shall pay a visit to Mr. Von Lipwig tomorrow afternoon; please notify him of the impending surprise inspection of the mint.”

“But sir, what will you – “

“That will be all, Drumknott,” Vetinari said.

In the crevices of Vetinari’s mind, gears began to turn. Disorder, of course, was a natural aspect of any city, but unpleasantness of this sort led to much too much and the wrong kind of disorder. After all, at one time Ankh-Morpork had simply been a swampy plain; trace a family back far enough and everyone was an immigrant. The kind of thinking that led to one saying they were taking their city and leaving sooner or later led to metaphorical shoving matches over who looked a little too igneous to be allowed, or whose mother sent funny food with them to school, or who exactly was allowed to wear what kind of cloth on their head.

And the whole thing, as he knew from personal experience, could very well lead to unpleasantly large dragons.

Perhaps it was time to set some spinning tops in motion.

[Silversong]

<JD> My people have a saying. "No sex, please, we're British"
<@Silversong> :3
<Lady> it's hard to kiss someone when you're behind a big layer of wool and have a teacup raised to your mouth
<Lady> jd, zara, are brits able to kiss without putting down the tea?
<JD> That's how clinking glasses and shouting "cheers" was invented

[Friday]

<Brentai> !haiku Silversong
<Upth> Haiku Novicework: quit your jacking-off / they got married anyway / I plead not guilty
<@Silversong> :o
* Brentai scoots away.

[Mongrel]

Dude's clearly a bit of a grouch, but I thought this was funny enough to share.

<Jimmy_Hell> It was once thought that if an infinite number of monkeys were given an infinite number of typewriters they would eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare.
<Jimmy_Hell> Thanks to the invention of Wikipedia, we now know that this is not the case.

[Thad]

I read something awhile ago to the effect that it turns out monkeys' keyboard inputs are nonrandom; they hit the same keys over and over again.

So no, if an infinite number of monkeys were given an infinite number of typewriters, you'd just get "asdf" repeated forever.

[Brantly B.]

I figure it makes the expression more true; you'd end up with the complete works of Shakespeare on account of one monkey missing the keys that many times, in that many specific ways, in that specific order.

("More true" because the assertion isn't "this would happen", it's "infinite sets produce really weird shit".)

[Lyrai]

If I recall the actual study they hit the S key a bunch of times, then shit on the typewriters.