Everything's Worse In Texas
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Something something live in hell and rent Texas.
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Oh shit, it gets even better!
Guardian: Chuck Norris warns there is a government conspiracy to take over Texas
Guardian: Chuck Norris warns there is a government conspiracy to take over Texas
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Sorry, I don't have a source for this. It was simply presented as-is:
Which resulted in this comment
It occurs to me to ask, how had we gone this long without anybody making that joke yet?
Over the past few weeks, my office has been inundated with calls referring to the Jade Helm 15 military exercise scheduled to take place between July 15 and September 15, 2015. This military practice has some concerned that the U.S. Army is preparing for modern-day martial law.
Certainly, I can understand these concerns. When leaders within the current administration believe that major threats to the country include those who support the Constitution, are military veterans, or even ‘cling to guns or religion,’ patriotic Americans have reason to be concerned. We have seen people working in this administration use their government positions to persecute people with conservative beliefs in God, country, and notions such as honor and self-reliance. Because of the contempt and antipathy for the true patriots or even Christian saints persecuted for their Christian beliefs, it is no surprise that those who have experienced or noticed such persecution are legitimately suspicious.
Having served in the U.S. Army, I can understand why military officials have a goal to see if groups of Special Forces can move around a civilian population without being noticed and can handle various threat scenarios. In military science classes or in my years on active duty, I have participated in or observed military exercises; however, we never named an existing city or state as a “hostile.” We would use fictitious names before we would do such a thing.
Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,’ ‘permissive,’ and ‘uncertain’ states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,’ and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in 'hostile' control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious.
Which resulted in this comment
the president's comin'
ring out the church bells. crank up the band!
hey, the president is a nig--
*church bell*
what'd he say?
the president is near!
no god blang dang blam it. the president is a nig--
*church bell*
It occurs to me to ask, how had we gone this long without anybody making that joke yet?
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Oh, apparently the source for that quote (the first one, lol) is the the governor of Texas again.
SURPRISE.
SURPRISE.
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
I CAN FORESEE NO PROBLEMS WITH THIS WHATSOEVER. CARRY ON, BROTHER TEXANS!
Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Texas just has to wave its smaller than Alaska's if Alaska was cut in half dick around every so often. Remember when ISIS said they would invade America through Texas and they came so fucking hard it actually stained the entire internet white for several weeks as they went over and over how badass they were and how huge their dick was and how fucked ISIS would be if they actually invaded and my god Texas oh my god your diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick
NO SERIOUSLY TEXAS YOUR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH YOUR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
NO SERIOUSLY TEXAS YOUR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH YOUR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
- Mongrel
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- Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:28 pm
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Well, it's more than I'm mocking the fact that those cannons appear to be entirely unbraced on a scaffolding that might as well be made of tinkertoys.
Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
I wasn't replying to the cannons. The cannons are just stupid bullshit which is endemic to humanity, not Texas.
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
but but but cannons go booooooooooooooooom
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Apparently not everything is more insane in Texas: Texas House panel approves full legalization of marijuana.
It's just a committee recommendation, but that's certainly an interesting direction to go in. Seems like Texas opting for full legalization would be a Big Deal.
It's just a committee recommendation, but that's certainly an interesting direction to go in. Seems like Texas opting for full legalization would be a Big Deal.
Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Why start learning now?
Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Hopefully we're close to figuring out how far that legislature is willing to go for its worship of ignorance. Too far, certainly, but I'll just keep crossing my fingers that there's a bottom to this barrel.
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Büge wrote:Texas responds with the equivalent of "you're not my real dad"
Which is Texas' response to pretty much anything from the Federal government Yankee occupation.
- Mongrel
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Re: Everything's more insane in Texas
Okay, double warning on this since a) Gawker, and b) it's a year old. That said, I can't believe this never came up earlier: Texan killed by alligator seconds after yelling "Fuck that gator!" and jumping into the water
...BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HIM MUCH
...BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HIM MUCH
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