Reading this Undertale LP fills you with determination.

[nosimpleway]

The file select screen makes it clear who you've spared and who you've befriended. Undyne's never shown up there before.


I screwed around a bit more on Mettaton's shows. If you keep examining the microwave, Mettaton wonders aloud why you're so enamored with a metal rectange.


If you try to buy a Hot Dog...? from Sans but don't have the inventory space, he puts it on top of your head instead.


It persisteth.


Frankly, this gag just keeps going furter and furter. Sans will stack 29 hot dogs on your head before pointing out that 30 is just ridiculously excessive.


They fall off if you walk around. You can't leave the screen with them.


The headlines that run at the bottom of the screen in this part are:
MTT-BRAND STILL TOP-RATED
SCHOOL CANCELLED OVER REACTIVATED PUZZLES
SCIENTIST DISCOVERS HEALTH BENEFITS OF USING COMPUTER (JUST KIDDING LOL)
LOCAL METTATON VERY RICH AND FAMOUS AND GORGEOUS
TINY VOLCANO MONSTER TRIES ITS BEST, RECEIVES TINY APPLAUSE
PYROPE IRONICALLY MISSES INVITATION TO THIS SCENARIO, "WOULD HAVE LOVED IT"
LOCAL PLANE CREATES HUGE LINE AT STORE BY SAYING "IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO BUY THESE PRODUCTS OR ANYTHING", CASHIER CONFUSED
HOTLAND TECHNICAL MALFUNCTIONS ACCEDE AND RECEDE IN LINEAR PROGRESSION THROUGHOUT AREA
WOSHUA CLEANS UP LOCAL CRIME, LITERALLY FINDS CRIMINALS AND DOUSES THEM IN SOAP, CRIME DOESN'T GO DOWN BUT IT SMELLS AMAZING
HISTORIC NEWS TICKER HEADLINE SHORTAGE

and then it's done.


If you chug a Spider Cider (or presumably, eat a Spider Donut) in the fight with Muffet, she accuses you of stealing it -- and then the telegram that excuses you comes in immediately, ending the battle.

[nosimpleway]

I didn't go in this door at all when I hit MTT Resort in the first playthrough.


Inside is a miserable Whopper-flopper cat.


All of the food items are expensive -- like, totally wicked expensive! -- but eating them in the Mettaton EX fight later on will get you bonus ratings points for eating food that's on-brand. Remember, the "shape of Mettaton's face" is a rectangle.


Toby Fox has tweeted that this burger clerk is the only character whose shitty concept art matches his in-game appearance 100%.


: I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers.

: Sorry.

: ...

: SO, I wanted to be an ACTOR.

Oh? How'd that work out for you, pretty good?

: I'm getting on in years, so let me give you some advice, little buddy.

: You've still got time. Don't live like me.

: I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life. Listen. I like you, little buddy. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble.

: Never interact with attractive people.

: Unless you're "one of them" they're just gonna take advantage of you.

: Like that time those two chicks asked me to sneak them some glamburgers.

: And I, naive teenager that I was, said yes to them.

: Bad idea.

: So I went out to the alley to see those two ladies, and uh... you know, see what'd happen next.

: ...

: Then my boss, uh, saw me and asked me what I was doing.

: I was so startled, the hamburgers

Glamburgers. Keep on brand, chief.

: in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground.

: Not wanting to lose face, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers...

Glamburgers.

: ...caused my pants to fall down.

: Then the girls laughed at me. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now.

That's... not... really what I asked. How did the acting gig work out? Did you ever get a role in anything?

: When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton.

: ...

: Well, be careful what you wish for, little buddy!

Ah. That bad, huh?

: God, have you even looked around? This place is a labyrinth of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says "that's not how they do it on the surface."

: Oh! Right!

: Humans are always eating hamburgers made of SEQUINS and GLUE.

I told you that's what they were made of when I posted the Mettaton fight video. This is why. That's what makes it a Glamburger, baby.

Anyway, man. You must really hate Mettaton.

: Why do people find him so attractive??

: He's literally just a freaking rectangle.

: ... You know, one time, I bought one of those, uh, kits online... to...

: Uh, make yourself more rectangular.

: ...

: They don't work.

That's... weird and creepy. Bummer about your boss, though. What are you going to do?

: Future? WHAT future? Nothing down here EVER changes.

: I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever. ...

: But wait! There's one thing that keeps me going! If ASGORE gets just one more SOUL, we'll finally get to go to the surface! It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!

: So stay strong, little buddy. When I make it big, I"ll keep you in mind.

[nosimpleway]

If you try to pawn anything off on Burgerpants, he just redirects you to the girls in the alley. I already know they don't buy junk, just sell it, but let's go get the other side of the story, here.

: Oh my God. Is that a Glamburger?

: OH MY GOD!!! GIMME!!!

As always, Bratty's and Catty's dialog almost always prints onscreen at the same time. They talk over each other a lot, when they're not finishing one another's sentences.

: God, Catty. Try to have some self-control.

: Sorry...

: 'Cause they OBVIOUSLY brought that Glamburger for ME.

: NOOO WAYYY!!!!!

So hey, girls. What about that guy over in the burger emporium?

: Oh, that guy from the store? Yuck, what a creep.

: Yeah! He's a creep!

: But he's kind of cute, too...

: C'mon, Catty, don't you have ANY standards?

: Nope!!!

: OK, like, the annoying thing is...

: He'd be OK if he just treated us with some respect.

: But he just acts... really weird.

: And then acts like it's OUR fault he acts that way!

Oh! We have those on the surface. We call them "fuckboys".

: Like, when we asked him to get those Glamburgers...

: He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything!

: We were, like, going to share them.

: Really? I wasn't.

: Catty!!

Uh... okay. Back to the Burger Emporium, I guess.

: The girls were... Talking about me...? They said I should stop acting like they owe me...

: ...and if I want to be FRIENDS with them, I should just... uh, try to see things from their perspective?

: Wow.

: Poor, naive little buddy. They've brainwashed you. "Friendship" is just a hot person's way of making you their slave.

: ...

: So, uh, what time would they wanna hang out?

...oh Christ I can't believe I'm doing this. Hey, alley-cat and alley-gator...

: Oh, uh...

: Yeah!! He should come look for junk with us!

: But like, if we let him hang out with us... I just worry it'll...

: ...be really super fun!

: Um, that was NOT what I was gonna say.

: But I was close, right!?

: Well, that kind of guy... You hang out with him once, then he wants to hang out... All. The. Time.

: But don't you feel bad for him, Bratty? Poor Burgerpants...

: Think about how cool we are compared to him!!! We'd be saving his LIFE with our friendship!! His LIFE, Bratty!

: Uh, so?

: Think of all the glamburgers he could get for us!!

: ...so is he free after work?

Aw. That's awfully sweet of you girls. Let me go ask. For some reason.

: They wanna hang out after work?

: Ha! Ahahaha!! Yes!!! I won't let you down!!

: Little buddy... thank you. You've brought a tear to the eye of this old man.

You're nineteen.

: So, uh, where do they want to go?

: ... They want to hang out at the garbage dump. ...

: Well, nowhere to go but up, right, little buddy?

Aw, it's so sweet. Come to think of it, I bet you could sell Glamburgers and other MTT Emporium products to Bratty and Catty, but I doubt there's much reason to.

[nosimpleway]

Anyway. The first playthrough I'd written off Alphys entirely by the time I got to the CORE, and disregarded most of her directions. Turns out if you listen to her guidance, she leads you into one ambush after another, getting more flustered and confused every time.


So I run into a monster I'd missed in the first game. Knight Knight can be lulled to sleep by singing Shyren's song twice. I'm not sure what happens in a playthrough where you don't perform with Shyren until that battle's conclusion.


I also run into mob groups I'd not seen. Three monsters' attacks at once is quite overwhelming.


Taking a different turn, I find where all the ice is going after the wolf guy in Snowdin throws it into the river. It floats through Waterfall and ends up here, somehow, where it drops off the conveyor belt and sublimates into a cloud of steam as soon as it hits whatever that white foggy stuff down there is supposed to be. So... that's that.

[Friday]

LOCAL PLANE CREATES HUGE LINE AT STORE BY SAYING "IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO BUY THESE PRODUCTS OR ANYTHING", CASHIER CONFUSED

holy shit A++++

[Z%rø]

Normally I don't go for voice acted stuff, but this guy nails how I imagine Burgerpants:

So I run into a monster I'd missed in the first game. Knight Knight can be lulled to sleep by singing Shyren's song twice. I'm not sure what happens in a playthrough where you don't perform with Shyren until that battle's conclusion.

Takes 3 or 4 times instead of just 2.

[nosimpleway]

Remember, the "shape of Mettaton's face" is a rectangle.

...And has some carefully-applied grill marks to replicate his display matrix. I just realized that background behind Burgerpants has an illustrated menu.The Starfait and Glamburger are oddly colored and sparkly, but otherwise pretty normal illustrations. The Legendary Hero sandwich is indeed in the shape of a sword, as the text description says... but I thought there'd be some pun on "Leg.Hero" as it's abbreviated in the in-battle menus given how obsessed Mettaton EX is with his tootsies.

[nosimpleway]

After the Mettaton fight -- the one that I videoed for the first playthrough -- I get a surprise call from Undyne. She asks me to deliver something for her, hastily adds that she's in Snowdin, and hangs up.



: THAT'S JUST MY COOL TOOLSHED.

: Do you call it your COOLSHED!?

: NO!!! I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!! THAT'S WHY WE'RE FRIENDS, UNDYNE. YOU ENRICH MY LIFE WITH SHED-BASED PUNS.

: That's the only one I've ever made, dude.

So what, "coolshed" is a good joke but anything Sans says is just infuriating? I think Papyrus has some double-standards at play here.


Papyrus reminds you who Undyne is, in case you somehow forgot which of them is the murderous spear-hurling fish-person who stalked you through Waterfall.



: Uuuuh, I... I need you to deliver this letter. To Dr. Alphys. Huh!? Why don't I do it myself...?

: ... um. W-well... I-it's kind of personal, but we're friends... so... I'll t-tell you...

: Hotland SUUUUCKS!!! I don't wanna have to go over there!!!

That... makes sense. We know from experience that Hotland and Undyne don't get along too well, although things might be better if she's not in her armor. Undyne adds that if I open the letter, she'll KILL me.

So of course I immediately go into my inventory and use the letter.


Oh. So that went about as well as planned.


Teasing Undyne is fun.


So I'm off to Hotland.

[nosimpleway]

(Slide the letter under?)

Well, yeah.

(You slide the letter under the door and give it a knock.)

(...)

(O-oh n-no, is that another letter...?)

(I don't want to open it...) (C-can't I just slide it back out...?)

I might have glossed over it a little in the transcription to text, but remember: Alphys has a stack of unopened letters in her office. Turns out those were an important detail!

(...)

(N... no... I can't keep doing this.) (I'll read this one.)

(...)

(Um...) (I-it's shut kind of strongly, isn't it?)

(Wait a second...)



: ...

: Oh my god. Did YOU write this letter? It wasn't signed, so, I had no idea who could have... Oh my god. Oh no.

: That's adorable... And I h-had no idea you, um, wrote that way!

Whoa hold on there's been a misunderstanding

: It's surprising, too... After all the gross stuff I did... I don't really deserve to be forgiven. Much less, um... This? And so passionately, too.

Yeah if you'd just listen it wasn't me who wrote--

: You know what, okay! I'll do it!

no... no...

: It's the least I can do to make it up to you!

no no no no no no no no

: Y-yeah! Let's go on a date!

NO



NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[nosimpleway]

...but the music hasn't started, and Alphys isn't here yet. Which is weird, since we were face-to-face right before the scene cut.

Uhhh, sorry! I'm still getting dressed!


With your complexion, dear? Polka-dots wouldn't be my first choice.

: My friend helped me pick out this dress. She's got a great sense of... Um, anyway! Let's do this thing!

Yeah, let's get this over with. Dating start!

: H-h-hey, w-w-wait! Actually, we still can't start the date yet!!!



Music: Alphys cuts in, what with us having interrupted "Dating Start!" twice now.

: Umm, I've gotta give you items to raise your affection statistic, first! That'll increase the chance of a successful outcome to the date! Right...?

You thinking that's how this works guarantees that there cannot be a successful outcome to this date, but I can't stop you, so...

: Anyway, d-don't worry! I'm prepared! I-I've been stockpiling gifts in anticipation for a date like this! F-first, I've got...

: Some metal armor polish! ...Um, maybe you can't use that. But!!!

: I also brought some waterproof cream for your scales! Your, uh... Scales... Uh, well, how about...

: This magical spear repair kit, that I... Um...

: Hey, let's forget about the items! Let's just start the date!



: Yeah!!! Let's, uh, date!









: Uhh... Do you... like... anime...?

Oh sweet Christ even listening to you rant about your shitty dub of Nya Nya Kissy Kawaii is better than this awkward silence. Yes, please talk to me about anime, for the love of all that's holy.

: H-hey! Me too!!

: Hey! Let's!! Go somewhere!!! But where's a good place to go on a date...? ... I've got it!!! Let's go to the garbage dump!!!

Yeah, maybe we'll run into someone I actually like. Bratty and Catty might be there.

[nosimpleway]

: We find all sorts of great stuff here. Heh, she's really... Uh...

Music: Dating Tense

: Oh no. That's her over there. I c-can't let her see me on a date with you! Why...? Because, uh... Well... Oh no, here she comes!


Alphys ducks behind the trash can when Undyne shows up, in a jacket and bangs instead of her casual tank-top getup.

: I, uh, realized if you deliver that thing... It might be a bad idea. So I'm gonna do it!!! Give it to me!!!

: Huh!? You don't have it!?

: Ngggaaahhh!! Have you at least seen her!?

Yeah, she's behind that trash can. But uh... Undyne... is that... lipstick?

: So she's somewhere around here... Thanks. I'll keep looking.

Sigh. No one listens to the player character. Exit Undyne, enter Alphys. Her theme music cuts back in, this time slowed down somewhat.

: Oh my god.

Yeah, you guys keep saying that. Who is your god, anyway? Are Judeo-Christian religions even a thing down here?

: W... well, I guess it's obvious, huh? I... uh... I really like her. I mean, more than I like other people! I'm sorry. I j-just figured, y-you know... It'd be f-fun to go on like, a cute, kind of... Pretend date with you? T-to make you feel better?

Snnrrk. Oh dear, that really wasn't necessary.

: Well, it sounds even worse when I put it like that.

: I'm sorry. I messed up again. Undyne's the person I. Um... really want to go on a date with. But, I mean... She's way out of my league.

She totally is.

: N-not that you aren't, um, cool!

The Brilliant Dr. Alphys, authority on what's cool.

: B-but... Undyne... She's so confident... And strong... And funny...

She enriches all our lives with shed-based puns.

: And I'm just a nobody. A fraud.

Oh, come on. You're the royal scientist! You built a robot with a soul that one time! You made a refrigerator that keeps food hot!

: I'm the royal scientist, but... All I've ever done is hurt people. I've told her so many lies, she thinks I'm... She thinks I'm a lot cooler than I actually am.

Careful not to trip on that low bar.

: If she gets close to me, she'll... She'll find out the truth about me.

Well, to be fair, it was last playthrough that I correctly guessed that she was your secret crush on live television, humiliating you on the one television network that exists in the underground. So she apparently doesn't know.

: What should I do?

Well, if you can't get your interpersonal information from TV quiz shows, you should probably get it face to face. Have you considered coming clean about who you are? Just... tell her the truth?

: The truth...? But if I tell her that, she'll hate me.

I know, it'll be hilarious. Or liberating, and then you'll shut up. Whichever.

: Isn't it better this way? To live a lie where both people are happy... Or a truth where neither of us are?

Honey, you're in an unflattering polka-dot dress, on a pretend date with someone who doesn't like you, at the garbage dump. Look at yourself. Are you really living a lie that makes you happy?

: They say "be yourself". But I really don't like who "myself" is. I'd rather just be whatever makes people like me. Eheheh...

Yeah, about that.

: No, you're right. Every day I'm scared... Scared what will happen if people learn the truth on their own. They'll all get hurt because of me... But how can I tell UNDYNE the tr... truth? I d-don't have the confidence... I'm going to mess it up! How can I practice!?

The options presented here are "Let's Roleplay It" and "Obviously Let's Roleplay". So

: ... That actually sounds kind of fun! OK, which one of us will be Undyne?

I think I'd better be Undyne. I've already been on a date with her, I know what she's like.

: Oh. Right. Obviously. Ehehe. Ahem.

: H-hi Undyne... H-how are you doing today?

The options here are "I'm fine." and "YOur cute," with the capital O, comma, and incorrect use of "your" presumably indicating that I'm just trolling Alphys at this point.

: Uhhh, so I'd like to, um, talk to you about something.

The options here are "What is it, Alphys." and "THEN SHe Kisses YOu". And because these conversations never go the way you plan them in your head, I choose the latter.

: WH-WHAT!? UNDYNE WOULD NEVER, UH... ... ...

: I kiss her back... S... softly... I... l-look gently into her eyes...

: I START HOLLERING!! UNDYNE!! I LOVE YOU!! UNDYNE!!! KISS ME AGAIN, UNDYNE!!!


The music, which had risen to a fever-pitch and gone completely off-key, cuts out abruptly when Undyne reappears.

: U... Undyne! I... was... just...

: Hey, woah, wait a second! Your outfit's really cute! What's the occasion? ...wait a second. Are you two... On a date?

: UHHH, YES! I mean, UHHH NO! I mean, actually we were only romantically roleplaying as you!

Undyne's face shifts from one expression to another to another as Alphys speaks that last line, before finally settling on

: WHAT???

: I MEAN!!!

I mean... Undyne... I... I've been lying to you!

Music: Confession

: WHAT??? ABOUT WHAT???

: About... well... everything!

Alphys walks toward Undyne, giving one of those Wendy-Oldbag-style text dumps that doesn't stop at the end of the dialog box, making them infuriating to take screenshots of and transcribe. Undyne's face does that thing where she switches from angry to chagrinned to baffled to disgusted and back again while Alphys talks.

: I told you that seaweed is like... scientifically important... Really, I just... I just use it to make ice cream! And those human history books I keep reading... Those are just dorky comic books! And the history movies... those... Those are just... uh... anime! They aren't real! And that time I told you I was busy with work on the phone... I... I was just eating frozen yogurt in my pajamas! That time I...



: I... I just wanted to impress you! I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn't some... nerdy loser.



: Undyne, I... I really think you're neat, OK...



Shhhh. Shhhhhh.

[nosimpleway]

Undyne hefts Alphys up and just throttles the ever-loving shit out of her. The end.




Nah. Undyne throws Alphys into the garbage can that's been sitting in the background up til now, with a convenient basketball hoop sliding into frame. Two points!

Music: NGAHHH!!

: I... think you're neat too, I guess. But, you've gotta realize...

: Most of what you said really doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you're watching kid cartoons or reading history books. To me, ALL of that stuff is just NERDY CRAP! What I like about you is that you're PASSIONATE! You're ANALYTICAL!! It doesn't matter what it is! YOU CARE ABOUT IT!! 100-PERCENT!! AT MAXIMUM POWER!!! ...so, you don't have to lie to me.

: I don't want you to have to lie to anyone anymore. Alphys... I want to help you become happy with who you are! And I know just the training you need to do that!



: Y-you're gonna train me...?



: GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN'!!! IT'S TIME TO JOG 100 LAPS, HOOTING ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE!!!

: Ready? I'm about to start the timer!

: U-Undyne... I'll do my best...!

Exit Papyrus and Alphys.


Undyne's theme music doubles in tempo.

: She was kidding, right!? Those cartoons... those comics...

: Those are still REAL, right!? ANIME'S REAL, RIGHT?!?!


She's just so desperate. It's kind of funny. So, Undyne... you're wondering if anime is real... well...


BELIEVE IT!

[MarsDragon]

Anime is totally real, but it has to be the right anime. Jojo is as real as it gets, Mew Kawaii Kissy Whatever is a figment of your imagination even in fictionland.

[Z%rø]

with a convenient basketball hoop sliding into frame.

I think we all know who did it

[nosimpleway]

On the way back to Waterfall from the garbage dump, Papyrus calls.

: IF IT ISN'T MY GOOD FRIEND, WHO TRUSTS ME. THIS IS PAPYRUS, YOUR ALSO MUTUAL FRIEND. ALPHYS AND I FINISHED OUR TRAINING EARLY. VERY EARLY. SO I SENT HER HOME. VERY HOME. UH... NOW. I FEEL STRONGLY AND FOR NO APPARENT REASON. YOU SHOULD ALSO GO... THERE. TO HER. LAB... HOUSE. I HAVE ONLY GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. GOODBYE.

Well, that's ominous.


Alphys isn't home, but the door to her bathroom is open for the first time, and there's a note on the floor.

(It's hard to read because of the handwriting, but you try your best...)

Hey. Thanks for all your help back there. You guys... Your support really means a lot to me. But... As difficult as it is to say this... You guys alone can't magically make my problems go away. I want to be a better person. I don't want to be afraid anymore. And for that to happen, I have to be able to face my own mistakes. I'm going to start doing that now.
I want to be clear. This isn't anyone else's problem but mine. But if you don't ever hear from me again... If you want to know "the truth", enter the door to the north of this note. You all at least deserve to know what I did.

(That's all she wrote.)


Hey, this isn't a bathroom at all! It's an elevator!




An elevator that breaks and sends you crashing to the under-underground as soon as you use it once.


Hmm...

[nosimpleway]

Music: Here We Are

Sound a smidge familiar? Like Dogsong and Catty's laugh are pretty clearly lifted from the Mario Paint sound bank, and Photoshop Flowey's screams lifted out of E.V.O., this track borrows pretty heavily from a few bits of Earthbound.


Just as much of the exposition in Waterfall was graffitied onto the walls or picked up by echo flowers, the backstory here is related through terminals with fragments of journal entries on them.

Entry 1: This is it. Time to do what the King has asked me to do. I will create the power to free us all. I will unleash the power of the SOUL.

Entry 2: The barrier is locked by SOUL power... Unfortunately, this power cannot be recreated artificially. SOUL power can only be derived from what was once living. So, to create more, we will have to use what we have now... The SOULs of monsters.

Entry 3: But extracting a SOUL from a living monster would require incredible power... Besides being impractical, doing so would instantly destroy the SOUL's host. And, unlike the persistent SOULs of humans... The SOULs of most monsters disappear immediately upon death. If only I could make a monster's SOUL last...

Entry 5: Using the blueprints, I've extracted it from the human SOULs. I believe this is what gives their SOULs the strength to persist after death. The will to keep living... The resolve to change fate. Let's call this power... "Determination."


The save point near quadruple-locked door reveals this as the "True Lab". So whatever it was Alphys was doing upstairs had nothing to do with research or development, it's just where she lies.

Lives.

I totally meant "lives".


A nearby note says that the power station for the central door, behind the four locks there, can make the elevator usable again. Did I mention the four locks? There's a vending machine nearby, but I've got all the food I can carry right now.

Entry 6: ASGORE asked everyone outside the city for monsters that had "fallen down". Their bodies came in today. They're still comatose... And soon, they'll all turn into dust. But what happens if I inject "determination" into them? If their SOULS persist after they perish, then... Freedom will be closer than we thought.

Okay. The idea of what it means to have "fallen down" isn't actually elaborated on anywhere. The prevailing headcanon in the fandom, from what I've gathered, is this: monster souls and monster bodies and monster emotions are all closely tied to one other, right? It's how you can harm a monster by just wanting to, even if you don't have any actual strength to damage their body.

Most of the monsters in the underground are despairing, having been sealed down there for god-knows-how-long. Asgore's plan to take the souls of every human who comes in isn't because he's a homicidal lunatic, it's mostly just to give his people a resolution to their problems to look forward to. He said as much when I killed him last time.

A monster consumed with despair or depression suffers in its physical health from that. If a monster runs out of HP, it dies. Like EXP and LOVE, HP is also an abbreviation.

It stands for Hope.

[nosimpleway]

(It's sticky...)

Gross.

Entry 9: things aren't going well. none of the bodies have turned into dust, so I can't get the SOULs. i told the families that i would give them the dust back for the funerals. people are starting to ask me what's happening. what do i do?

I don't know, journal writer.


But what I do is mess around with every object I can find in the lab to get atmospheric descriptions, or until I find stuff that does stuff.


Hey, this sink runs white.


Aww, hey, it's a little blob guy! Hi, blob guy!


AAAAHHHHH SWEET CHRIST

[nosimpleway]

Music: Amalgamate

It's even more Earthbound-y than the last one, straight down to Giygas's wheezy breathing from the last dungeon.


The monster's so outlandish that its name doesn't even appear in the menu. CHECKing it does nothing, since there's no data available.


They attack with nightmarish leering faces that explode all over the play area.


If you attack them, nothing happens but the game flashing a dozen messages in rapid succession about how the attack was ineffective. I didn't have a chance to try it in this fight, but if you try to use an Item on them, one of the creatures will put a piece of itself in your inventory. The Bad Memory you get can't be thrown away and does a hit point of damage when you use it.


If you pull out your cell phone, it becomes possible to understand the creature's speech, not that that makes them any less creepy. It also reveals their names: Memoryheads. They do look kinda like brains with faces on, I guess... although that swirly crescent shape to them still reminds a guy of Giygas.


The Memoryheads invite you to "join them", and although precisely what that means is unclear, it's probably best to refuse. Once you do, you can let them go.


Well, that was creepy.


The lock for the key is in the next room.

[nosimpleway]

I had to use a couple of healing items figuring out the Memoryheads, so I buy some popato chisps from the vending machine. They're... not as good as the things I ate, recovering only slightly more HP than the Monster Candy and Spider Donuts from the beginning of the game.

I mean, not that you can get here with more than 20 HP total, but still.


The next room has several suspicious-looking beds, and... a dog bowl...?


You can lie down for a quick rest in one of the beds.


When you do, a shapeless creature appears behind you.


It reaches out slowly with a tentacle/pseudopod thing...


Slowly... s l o w l y . . .




Before it tucks you in and gives you a little pat on the head.

The True Lab is so weird and creepy.

[nosimpleway]

The next hallway is lined with pots of those ubiquitous golden flowers and mirrors mounted on the walls.

Entry 12: nothing is happening. i don't know what to do. i'll just keep injecting everything with "determination". i want this to work.

Entry 13: one of the bodies opened its eyes.

Entry 14: Everyone that had fallen down... ...has woken up. They're all walking around and talking like nothing is wrong. I thought they were goners...?

Entry 7: We'll need a vessel to wield the monster SOULs when the time comes. After all, a monster cannot absorb the SOULs of other monsters. Just as a human cannot absorb a human SOUL... So then... What about something that's neither human nor monster?

Entry 10: experiments on the vessel are a failure. it doesn't seem to be any different from the control cases. whatever. they're a hassle to work with anyway. the seeds just stick to you, and won't let go...

Yeah, you can just about put together where this is going, I bet.


You saw this one coming too. Why would there be a mirror in a creepy laboratory without something to distort your reflection into something dangerous?


...huh?


Ah! So it wasn't the mirror after all. Sneaky!