Bogus, batshit, banal, bizarre, or bicubic: Assorted News

[Blossom]

from the Vice article:

I asked jokes_on_you how they spotted the difference. "I’ve sucked enough toes in my life to recognize when something doesn’t look right," they told me in a Reddit direct message. "Because we can’t dorsi- or plantarflex our 2nd-5th toes independently I knew it wasn’t a matter of the toe being bent. I thought that maybe she has some form of brachydactyly but her Wikifeet page has clear evidence to the contrary. So it was clear to me that it wasn’t her feet."

[Mongrel]

The Snopes page now has Wikifeet as a citation. 2019 is shaping up well so far.

[Mongrel]

[Mongrel]

Baltimore.

(the comments are great)

[beatbandito]

A couple years too young to be Dukie all grown up.

[Mongrel]

Teen crashes car after driving blindfolded for Bird Box challenge

“Honestly, I’m almost embarrassed to have to say ‘Don’t drive with your eyes covered’, but you know apparently we do have to say that,” Travis Lyman of the Layton police said.

[mharr]

Hang on, what. Did someone turn the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal into a movie monster we're supposed to take seriously? Looking forward to the Grue movie in 2020 then.

[Thad]

Teen crashes car after driving blindfolded for Bird Box challenge

“Honestly, I’m almost embarrassed to have to say ‘Don’t drive with your eyes covered’, but you know apparently we do have to say that,” Travis Lyman of the Layton police said.

[Mongrel]

Though if "the end of time" is "when these Apple products break down", I suggest turning to your loved ones and hugging them right now.

[nosimpleway]

When Apple products break down when they're exposed to the elements in a Namibian desert. I expect dust and grit are an issue.

[Grath]

Though if "the end of time" is "when these Apple products break down", I suggest turning to your loved ones and hugging them right now.

So what you're saying is, "the end of time" is two years planned obsolescence away?

[Mongrel]

Though if "the end of time" is "when these Apple products break down", I suggest turning to your loved ones and hugging them right now.

So what you're saying is, "the end of time" is two years planned obsolescence away?

Might be shorter if it actually does rain!

[Yoji]

Shopper banned from Walmart for riding an electric cart while drinking wine from a Pringles can.

Police tell the Times Record News that officers responded to a suspicious person call at about 9 a.m.[...]

Speaking for myself, but a good crazy drunk person story is a refreshing change from the existential dread that's become the news these days.

[Mongrel]

That's even better than the time we saw a dude having his own private party at a computer at the social assistance part of a provincial service office.

It was 10 am on a weekday and he'd picked out one of the computers that, y'know, unemployed folks use to do resumes on or go through job listings or things like that. He had cracked a beer without even bothering to hide it, was blasting music from the computer which he was using as YouTube DJ station, and was dancing wildly in his chair.

I guess if your idea of a good time is starting the day with a one-man booze-fuelled dance party at the local welfare office... you probably need that party.

[mharr]

I was stuck in heavy traffic on a city bypass road once, and a very refined looking elderly lady cruised slowly past in the slightly faster lane, sipping a cocktail with one hand while the other was steering a huge, heavily motorised sun lounger with parasol. No idea what that was about, but the city in question was Bath and they are a bit like that.

Of course she was wearing a straw boater. Is that even a question?

[Blossom]

My roommate used to live in a very rural part of Michigan, and she told me a while ago that there is in fact a very real reason people do that.

It's because their cars have breathalyzers in the ignitions as part of DUI convictions. But tractors and riding mowers don't.

[mharr]

... You know what, spending a year building and registering a cartoonish novelty vehicle sounds very much like the middle class Avon version of that. We don't use interlocks, but I bet there's a similar loophole around driving licenses.

France has an entire class of voiture sans permis akin to 1940s milk floats, explicitly for this purpose.

[Blossom]

Slack - the corporate world's answer to Discord, only worse, and with a pretty bad track record on Iranian users - decided to change their logo yesterday! Big announcement and everything, presumably a long review process since an outside design firm was involved, dozens of prototypes discussed according to their blog post, it's a $7.1b company so this wasn't a casual decision to arrive with their final solution.

And I say final solution because what they ended up with is a swastika.

[Brantly B.]

I think it looks more like a My Little Pony's asshole.

[mharr]

Gotta wonder if the counterclockwise facing means the design company saw the problem and thought that would fix it. Paying some west coast iamverysmarts a billion dollars to ruin your branding is a universal brain fart in the corporate world, when any random person that can put an .svg together would do a better job for beer money. https://dribbble.com/shots/5852585-Slac ... Logo-Tweak