Okay.
We got problems.
First off, huuuge UFOs have started showing up and shooting down my satellites, upping my panic levels and exhausting my expensive sat stash. I can't touch them with my interceptors. They just take too many hits. I need to develop something better.
Soon after, I was wiped out on two missions in a row. Normally that would be game, but by sheer fucking spectacular XCom glory, I squeaked by a terror mission with four rookies huddling on the roof, and immediately put them into an Exalt mission, then a council retrieval mission, all of which they passed without a single death. They are now a team of battle-forged badasses; most pink, one Wario, some wearing fedoras.
Additionally, I forgot to build satellites this month until two days AFTER I was supposed to, meaning I won't get any satellites until the start of next month. Which means alllll those red countries will pull out once we hit the council report at this end of this month.
THAT would be game.
I have one, batshit, hail-Mary chance of hanging on for another month.
The Outsider, which Niku managed to capture a month or so back, provided us with the location of a subterranean alien base.
Clearing this base drops worldwide panic levels by 1, which would save my ass for another month.
We finish up the interrogation process by folding our captive in on itself and fusing it into a skeleton key for the alien base.
I finish the key with two days to spare before the council report, and with it, doomsday.
Better slip on your tankinis, boys and girls. We're going to... Europe?
Lineup is Büge, Patito, Niku, Brentai, Defenestration, and Angry Beaver.
A few changes with the new team, since they didn't end up with the same professions as the old team did.
Büge is now a medic, and has a different French voicepack that is somehow even more adorable.
Patito is back, and black. She's just a squaddie right now, but she's got Sprint, which makes her a good choice for charging captures.
Brentai is now a Heavy, which means, tragically, no ass dodging. If I get another male assault guy up to that level, I might swap them.
Niku
used to be Heavy, and is now a robot, so... the same, basically. I changed her hair briefly to pink, but it looks better white, so I left it white.
Fen I gave this sweet-ass helmet and colored her green. I have no idea what color or look you want her to have, so let me know if you've got any requests.
Angry Beaver is exactly the same as always, only American now, instead of Japanese.
Tragically, Smiler was wounded at the time of the mission, so he just marathons Breaking Bakkugan in the hospital.
Actually pretty nervous about this. By this point in the game, I should have armor, laser sniper rifles, and Niku's railgun. I don't have the research for the armor or the laser sniper, and I don't have the metal for Niku's cannon.
Ah well ┐('~`; )┌ w/e it's only the end of the world
♬ Mission soundtrack ♪
After that sweet-ass fast-roping sequence, Brentai dimly glances about whilst brazenly scratching himself.
With the noble satisfaction of a great ape, he picks up his gigantic cartoon space gun and moves out.
Hee
up.
Guess we found where they've been bringing the abductees.
Brent is visibly creeped out.
Niku awkwardly plummets to the ground from the ceiling, in true bumbling anime fashion. I think they just had no idea how to add in the huge robot fast-roping in after the expansion pack came out, so they had them drop in at the end of the cutscene.
We go left, because I'm trying left this game.
Everyone huddles at the far end and goes into overwatch. No chances.
The room is weirdly empty. There's usually something in here.
Team moves up to the first door, and takes a turn.
Once we can move, I run Patito through the door to scout.
Mutons.
Fuck.
They have some pretty great cover, unfortunately. Patito is completely exposed, but still has a move left.
No chances. Brentai hits them both with a Shredder rocket, which does like 4 damage but debuffs them, so they're weak against all other attacks.
The big guy in the back exposed, Büge grabs her heat stick and blasts him in the face with a hot stream of okay this is getting away from me.
That's the money shot.
Beautiful.
Patito tries for the other.
n o p
I am strongly doubting this plan of attack right about now.
From the door, Angry Beaver goes for a 25% snap shot that is 1000% certain to miss.
And hits dead on.
We move in.
All that remains in this room are these two dorky little drone things. They scurry about for a bit.
Hard to hit.
Beaver is some kind of gun wizard.
Lordy bagordy.
Niku moves up to knock off the second one.
Buut her accuracy with the minigun sucks. I really really need that railgun.
Drone high-tails it outta here.
I considering chasing it, but they can only do like 2-3 damage per shot, so I figure I can just move ahead and kill it when it catches up.
Everyone gets ready to assault the next room, and reloads.
Noises behind us. Most likely the drone.
It is not the drone.
I really should've checked that walkway.
Niku moves up and takes aim. 50% chance to hit, which on Ironman, is like 5%.
She nails it.
Patito considers taking a shot, but even if she scores a kill, the third floater would most definitely kill her when the aliens' turn comes 'round.
She scurries behind the console.
On the left side, Brentai and Büge fall back to the main room, and set up to strike next turn.
Defenestration, a sniper, can't move and shoot, so I put her against the far wall, getting her ready for next turn. It exposes her, but she's so far back that there's no way in hell those things are going to be able to see her.
Turn ends.
Floaters move onto the catwalk.
One takes aim at Fen.
Hits hard.
Fen is dead.
I feel like a jackass.
If we make it out of here, Fen's getting another guy.
Brentai returns fire, but can't hit shit at this angle.
Angry Beaver has a more straightforward solution.
Patito takes a chance and rushes close to the remaining floater. She's got Sprint, so she gets reasonably close.
NOW the room is secure.
Everyone moves up, reloads, and pushes in.
Squids.
The sneakly little shitlords cloak and bolt in different directions.
RANT ZONE RANT ZONE RANT ZONEThe thing I hate most about ghost squids? The only way to kill them is to wait until they strike, which does 2 damage per turn to whoever they attack, until you can shoot 'em off. If you're the lone survivor of a mission, running across a squid means you cannot possibly win.
Whiiiiich sucks.
RANT ZONE RANT ZONE RANT ZONE
While everyone sits around on overwatch, waiting, Niku notices there's one tile in the corner he can't seem to move onto.
Almost like something's already there.
If you're so inclined, you can aim your punch at anything within 1 tile of your guy. That means walls, debris, and maybe...
...just maybe...
...oh yes.
Niku clocks the goddamn thing over the head with a rocket punch for
18 glorious damage.
It feels wonderful.
Patito decides to do a little scouting, and runs around the bend.
Nadda.
Brentai moves up.
Back on the right, Niku follows Patito...
...setting off a group of floaters.
They bolt to cover.
And then the second squid makes its move.
Thankfully, everyone's on overwatch. Brent's volly whiffs, but Niku has a cherry angle on the whole mess.
Thing doesn't lay a tentacle on Patito.
Brentai moves a few tiles up.
Setting off a second group, on the left side.
They've got the higher ground on us, and we've got nothing.
Everyone retreats to the walkways and goes on overwatch. We'll wait em out here.
We don't wait long.
Angry Beaver takes the first shot.
As always, she fucking destroys.
Our turn.
Beaver tries for a second shot.
A miss :/
Niku reckons she give the ol' girl a whirl.
Meanwhile, on the right, the two floaters from before have just been sitting on overwatch. Brent lines up his second rocket.
It flies true as the Lincoln's eagle.
I forgot to screen cap it, but this blasts away the alien console, revealing two Thin Men. They run into position on the right, above us. It's bad.
One floater remains from the trio up on the right. Nobody has a shot on it, so Büge tosses a smoke grenade to give the girls up front a little cover.
Patito tries for a bold-ass 53% shot on a crouched Thin Man.
If we miss, there's a REALLY good chance someone's getting killed.
Last floater retreats.
We got em on the r—
—rsdjaflkajflasf
The smoke grenade does nothing, of course. I don't think I've ever seen a Thin Man score a hit didn't kill.
Or, in Patito's case, wound. She's down but not gone. We've got three turns to stabilize her, or she's as dead as Fen.
First thing's first.
57%
Jesus.
I love you, Angry Beaver.
All that's left is the floater that scrambled away. I set Brentai on overwatch, just in case it charges.
At the same time, I send Niku up and around.
The coast seeming clear, Büge moves in to tend to Patito.
She tends to the fallen as a mother would her cublings.
Patito's gonna live.
Niku comes across some... test pools, up there. The abductees sort of twitch, then go rigid for a bit, then fall back into the water. Iiiit's creepy.
Sound up ahead.
Niku charges.
Dawwwww.
And now to mop up the drones.
The last one makes a break for the door.
Beaver's waiting for him, buut it's a miss.
Niku sighs.
The room cleared, everyone forms an Isosceles Lock at the front door and reloads.
Moving in, there's a small hallway. Niku hears something up ahead.
This is it. I brace myself for the worst.
Nothing.
Sound to the right.
Büge and Beaver investigate, finding three floaters floatin' about.
They scatter in attack formation. Either I kill them this turn, or they'll go up and behind.
Solid kill from Büge.
Beaver does what she does best.
A turn passes.
The third floater just jumps around, trying to flank us.
I feel like Beaver has gotten over half the kills on this map, by now.
Back on the left side.
Brentai and Niku sneak up the ramp to flank whatever's hiding this this shadowy little platform, buuut there's nothing there.
They turn back to meet up with the rest of the team.
Everyone reloads. This is it.
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaa
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
HHHHGGGGGGGLET'S DO THISSSS
Aw what.
...
I move Brentai into position.
There you are.
The alien commander holds the secrets to psi training. We just need to capture it, stick a bunch of probes and whatnot into its brain, and let Dr. Vahlen have at the wiry chap.
Unfortunately, Patito had the stun gun. So, this becomes a lot more simple.
Cornered, it freaks out.
Beaver hits it dead on for 6.
Zeeeeeeero regard for the incredibly fragile and highly explosive Hyper-Wave Decoder in the middle of the room.
Enraged, the Commander winds up something fancy.
MIND CONTROL
Beaver is now one of Them.
Which is fucking horrifying.
We need to shut this party down now.
Büge moves into position on one end, and Niku lumbers up the ramp on the other.
Büge gets a mind full of alien rays and panics
She rattles off a shot, but misses.
Just the distraction Niku needs.
Done and
DONE.
God we rule.
Vahlen is like a kid on Christmas with that Hyper Wave Decoder.
Her team gets crackin'.
And oh the things she has planned for that wrinkly-ass nerd Niku punched through time.
Shiiitload of promotions.
Niku gets a thing that reduces all damage she takes after the first hit by 2.
Brentai gets pretty much the same thing.
Patito is now a medic!
Beaver gets Bullet Storm, which lets her fire twice if she doesn't move.
And goodness gracious, the goodies.
We're gonna make it, this month.
By the skin of our teeth.
I sell all of my exotic alien horrors to third-world dictators for quick ca$$$h
And build my basement.
