Let's Play Suikoden 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nosimpleway]

Finally.


The academy is empty, and there's no one in town except a girl who lets you heal up and a scholar who saves your game.


...oh, and some soldiers.




...oh, and Yuber.

Yuber: Ruler of hatred... Master of nightmares... My servant... I call you forth from your dark realm to wreak havoc and destroy this boy!




Hope you talked to that one girl to rest up, because the Bone Dragon is a tough fight.




Or would be, if I didn't have two powerful swordswomen constantly trying to show each other up, and both of them getting far outclassed by my barefist monks. Hiyanananananana-SHA!


If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find that all the things I'll teach ya is sure to beat ya.

[nosimpleway]

Yuber teleports out. Bet we won't be seeing him again!




Since Shin left Greenhill with Teresa, I assume this is supposed to be one of the nameless, faceless villagers speaking.


And thus Greenhill is liberated. We kicked the Highlanders out of South Window, Two River, Greenhill, and managed to save Tinto. All that's left is Muse!

[nosimpleway]

...And Matilda.

Kiba: What! While we were attacking Greenhill....
Apple: Yes. While we were dispatching troops to Greenhill, the Highland Army invaded the Knight's domain with two-thirds of their army.
Viktor: But Jowy, Culgan and Seed were all there at the border with Muse. When did they...?
Klaus: The generals were just a decoy. Almost all of the soldiers headed for Matilda territory. Very clever......
Apple: Leon Silverburg, the strategist, led the Highland Army alone against Matilda. Gorudo was very quick to make a peace offering.
Klaus: Officially the Knights will stay independent in return for helping Highland, but in effect they've become puppets of Highland.
Miklotov: Damn that Gorudo!! Where's his pride as a knight? How can he let them rub it in their faces like that!!!!


...Jowy?

Apple: Most of the Highland Army is still in Matilda and even if they make it back, they'll be tired from the march.
Muteiu: What do you think, Shu?
Shu: .................... Yes.... I think it's worth a try. Muteiu will be general, with Hauser as his liutenant. Your strategist will be Apple with Klaus as her second-in-command. With that as your base, it should be easy to attack Muse. General Kiba and I will stay here. After all, if this place falls, the KISS Army will have nowhere to come back to.

Remember: Shu is always nervous that Leon is outmaneuvering him. When the army's away, it's quite possible that the true Silverbuerg has anticipated the army marching out again, and is waiting to attack the KISS Army base once they're gone.

[nosimpleway]

Viktor and Flik gripe a bit as the soldiers march back out. Hey, don't I get a minute to stop and explore and recruit characters?




This isn't what I meant...


Because it's just the next story cutscene.


It may not surprise you to learn that Lucia leads you back out to the forest path. Because you definitely haven't seen enough of it yet.


Jowy: Thank you, Lady Lucia. You can go home now.
Lucia: Forgive me, sir, but I'd like to stay to protect you.
Jowy: Sorry.....
Nanami: Jowy, why.... Why are you here....
Jowy: Nanami..... Muteiu, as your friend, I have a request. Quit as leader of the KISS Army and run away somewhere.

...what? Dude, no, that's the bad ending.

Jowy: I... I don't want to fight you.
Muteiu: I'm sorry.... I can't.
Jowy: Why....... There's no reason for you to be the leader of the KISS Army......
Nanami: But, but, Muteiu is...... I know! I've got it! Jowy can leave Highland....
Jowy: I can't do that....
Jowy: ..................
Jowy: I see..... so that's how it is.... Just as I can't turn back, you can't turn back either.... Too much time has passed..... Neither of us can go back.... to the way things were.....
Nanami: Hey,...Hey Jowy... You're King of Highland, right? So you can stop the war and take your troops out of Muse. That will end this. Right? So that'll solve that.
Jowy: That..... that won't work. Nanami........
Nanami: Why! Why!!


Jowy: Muteiu....... Ever since we got these runes on our hands, we were destined to fight each other. But even if that's our destiny, I'd still like to think that we each gained something from this. Muteiu, As King of Highland, I'm going to fight to bring a new order to this land. Goodbye..... Muteiu, Nanami.

[nosimpleway]

Jowy, Seed, and Culgan are in Muse City, while Lucia leads a group of leaderless units against the press of our army.


Georg is a crit machine. I've never seen one attribute trigger so often, the only person who comes close is... uh, Jowy.


Almost every battle in the game is story-driven, and this one's no different.


Jowy argues a little, but his lieutenants convince him to retreat for the greater goal. Lucia is left all alone with the mook units... wait, I defeated all of those already. Lucia is left all alone.


Um.


...you can't.


Who's Beechum? Play the sequel! Don't play the sequel.

[nosimpleway]

Klaus: Is that right? Something seems odd....
Hauser: I think you might be right....
Viktor: You're the worrying type too. Huh, Klaus? Well, let's enter Muse and take a look.
Klaus: Be careful. There might still be some Highland soldiers lurking around.


Uh... "at" a ceremony wasn't Miklotov's report. "Sacrificed in" a ceremony was Miklotov's report.




Inside Muse city hall, we're nearly bowled over by one of our soldiers crying about monsters and pounding pavement on his way out.


It's some kind of wolf! A golden one!


You have to fight it, of course, but it puts up about as much resistance as that caterpillar larva in Banner, and for the same reasons.








They're all over the place!

[nosimpleway]

What? Why? They're not hard to beat.




Although the next one does manage to get a couple attacks off.


Yeah, it's no problem. Have the troops evacuate, we'll handle this ourselves.


...oh.


You're right, it's just about time for the Nope train to Fuck-That-ville.

[nosimpleway]

Viktor: 'Beast Rune'?
Luc: Yes, I heard it was passed down from High Priest Sasarai to the Blight Clan when Highland divided from the Holy Kingdom of Harmonia. They've become servants... slaves to that rune.
Klaus: So.... Luca Blight sacrificed all the people of Muse....
Luc: So that thing really does exist, eh. The 'Beast Rune' can only be awakened with a blood sacrifice.

What? That's stupid. Sacrificing human lives to awaken true runes, who even comes up with this garb--

Wait.

Wait wait

You're telling me a plot point was subtly foreshadowed?

I... I think I need to go sit down.


Luc: But I think the rune itself was carried off somewhere. I don't sense its power anymore.


Viktor: Damn!! What's going on now!!!
Klaus: It looks like they were waiting for this moment.......
Fitcher: Ha ha, They're attacking from the north and east. We'll have to escape to the west.
Viktor: Okay.... let's hurry.
Apple: Wait! It's a trick. They're attacking in small numbers? .... I bet soldiers are lying in ambush to the west and south. General Hauser, get your troops together and attack north. Thrust right into the center of the attackers and then retreat.

Hot.

Hauser: I understand.

So there's a mighty battle! Clever tactics! Apple grows into a fine strategist, confident and sure of the enemy's maneuvers! And it all happens offscreen, because next thing you know


We're safe at home.

[nosimpleway]

WIth Muse occupied by rune incarnations and Matilda under lock and key, we're not sure how to proceed. Which means there's some free time to go recruit people! First up is Pico, who is having some lady problems given that he's obsessed with some "Annallee" girl and the person he's talking to is Marie instead.


Since Annallee is already back at Vania Castle, he drops the girl like a hot plate of delicious Greenhill tempura and goes running to her. With Pico on guitar, the number of songs in Annallee's sound test increases.


Also in Greenhill is Jude the sculptor, who needs a bit more clay before he asks what we want. The clay's all the way in Forest Village, so hup hup go get it.


It's yet another collectathon, including some random drops, to collect the blueprints Jude needs for a turtle, unicorn, dragon, or rabbit Guardian Deity statue. There's four plans for each animal! Some of them are random drops! At least two of them are random drops from enemies that aren't available to fight anymore!


Tessai, the master smith in Kuskus who trains the guy who's kept our weapons sharp so far, is feeling a bit down and needs a unique, legendary weapon to get his spirits back. Conveniently, we have a sword that's the physical manifestation of a True Rune. That works.


Then back in the forge classroom in Greenhill, someone gives you the Silver Hammer Tessai needs to get weapons up to level 15. The fact that hammers are needed at all, and that Tessai could conceivably be recruited when this one was not available, hints that earlier drafts of the game had him recruitable much earlier. I mean, you get the Star Dragon Sword early on, so why not?


I hope you're happy, Tessai.

[nosimpleway]

After Tessai comes Genshu, a ronin who needs to see a weapon of at least level 15 before he'll join up.


And in Tinto is Alberto, who's keeping his famously nimble fingers busy by working at the armorer's. We can save him a lot of time on his trip by just telling him where Annallee and Pico are, of course. With Alberto on bass, the number of songs in Annallee's sound test covers pretty much the whole soundtrack.


It also unlocks Annallee's stage performance, a version of the entire "Orizzonte" theme.






It's a long, long conversation of heartfelt friendship and sworn affection to recruit Vincent de Boule.


And in the complete opposite direction from the Narcissists, Pesmerga is hanging out in the Cave of the Wind now. He's a man of few words, a man whose face we never see, a man whose heart is haunted by the dark grimness of his grimdark heart. Miasma.

He's also the Teni star instead of Lucia.


He's also level 99.


And that guy from before hanging out in the mines in Tinto turns out to be Mazus, the rival of Crowley from the first game. So we get him too.

[nosimpleway]

Hai Yo is wringing his hands over Retso's challenge. Lester shows up from the last game to give him a bit of training, in the usual way.








Lester makes Hai Yo work for it a bit more than Antonio did.


Hai Yo: Oh no, not at all! You were holding back.
Lester: Oh really? Why?


Does this seem like a really long Let's Play? It's longer than any other I've done by a long shot: this is the ten thousandth screen capture from the game, and there's plenty more to do. The next longest was Final Fantasy 6 Advance, but that one was only 7,500 screenshots from start to finish.

Lester: Okay then. Do you remember how Retso moved when he was cooking?




Hai Yo: Eh????...... I couldn't believe it..... I can't believe it....
Lester: You finally understand. Your eyes may be open, but if your heart is closed, you cannot see the truth. You are already strong enough. You can defeat Retso if you try.

Lester hands over his sushi recipe... which is weird, because he was best-known for his stews in the last game.


Aha. Lester doesn't give you a stew recipe, but tells you who might have one for you.

[nosimpleway]

So we go back to Banner, and run through the mountains to the border with Tora-- eh?


...was this passage always here?


Upon entering the next screen, we're immediately apprehended as spies and dragged to face Hanzo, the chief of Rokkaku, village of ninja.


It's yet another Valeria/Kasumi choice. Kasumi's from here, so you can enter Rokkaku with her as soon as she signs up. Valeria is just some woman with a bouffant, so you have to wait until lategame before they don't kick you right back out.

Hanzo tells his two ninja with portraits, Sasuke and Mondo, to go to Vania Castle as ninja emissaries.




And here are their portraits.


...wait, hold on. Are you telling me a secret, hidden ninja village that apprehends and boots out any interlopers as soon as they enter... has a trading post? Who's the ninja merchant who brings the goods in?

[nosimpleway]

Having done the sidequest introducing McDohl to this game, you can swing back into Gregminster anytime to add him to the party. He's not a permanent recruit, though. If you take him out of the party he doesn't hang out at Vania; you have to go all the way back to Gregminster to put him back in.


Don't wait, though: if you finish the duel with Lester before you finish the sidequest with Ko and the bandits and the inexplicable poison moth, then Lester never tells you about Gremio's stew.


Meaning you can't get the recipe from him later.


Does it never occur to anyone in this gameworld that two copies of a recipe can exist on two different sheets of parchment at the same time?


Back in Banner, Ko is ecstatic to see his heroes again.

[nosimpleway]

Vincent, Pesmerga, Mazus, Mondo, Sasuke... hmm... hey, guys?








...that's everybody.

[Thad]

It's yet another Valeria/Kasumi choice. Kasumi's from here, so you can enter Rokkaku with her as soon as she signs up.

Not quite; she's got a minimum level too, it's just much lower than everybody else's.

[nosimpleway]

I guess I should have said "I could have come to Rokkaku as soon as she joined up", in this game specifically. You still need a level 3 (out of 4) castle, but I already had Lebrante and he has the same requirement.

[nosimpleway]

Retso: Just as I promised. This cook-off will decide it all. Well, prepare yourself Hai Yo the Seiryu!!!

I think I skipped over the dialog where it's mentioned, but each of the four lords were named after one of the four gods from Chinese astrology (via Japanese naming). Hai Yo is Seiryu, Gyokuran was Suzaku (although the game calls her Suzak), Retso is Byakko.

Hai Yo: Retso..... I can't fight you!
Retso: Coward!!!!! Have you chickened out!!!
Hai Yo: I saw the way you used your wok and cleaver and I figured it out! 'Hypnosis'! How could you use such a trick!
Viktor: 'Hypnosis'???? What's that!!!
Flik: I've heard of it. With the sound of the wok and the flash of the knife, he makes people think the food has 'the perfect taste'. But I didn't believe that it was really possible.....
Luc: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Luc's saying what we're all thinking.

Hai Yo: But why Retso? Why do you have to use a dirty trick like that?
Retso: Hai Yo.........
Hai Yo: But you must know what Jinkai is planning to do!!! How can you.....
Retso: Yes, I should know.... It was myself and Jinkai who conceived of the 'Dragon Plan'.

Retso is the chef for your army in Suikoden 5 prequel, and his character development in that game is figuring out the preparation technique that eventually turns into the Moon Bird Recipe.

Hai Yo: B, but why???
Retso: We had a dream..... A dream that people would learn the true beauty of cooking... Nothing could make a chef happier. But when Shun Min learned that the plan was just to fulfill Jinkai's lust for power, she... she died for it.... Please Hai Yo. Face me in a cook-off. I promise I won't use any tricks. I want to see for myself whether Shun Min's feelings were right or whether Jinkai's ideal was right. Please Hai Yo, help me to figure out the truth.






Hey, hey! I see what you're doing there! You cut that shit out and cook your goddamn food.


Boo-bam.

[nosimpleway]

Retso: My daughter Shun Min was right to believe in you.... I'm giving this back to you. Now it's my turn to beg of you... Please defend this recipe with your very life.

Retso forks over both the Moon Bird Recipe and his special Sashimi Combo recipe.


Your spelling dissapoints me too.




I'm almost certain that's not his name.

Jinkai: I never thought I would have to come here myself... Hai Yo, return the recipe to me! It means nothing to you anyway. But in my hands, it is a powerful tool! I can make all the chefs of the world happy with it!!!!
Hai Yo: Jinkai, I don't want to hear any more of your lies!!!!
Jinkai: Very well!!! Enough talk!!! Have at you!






Jinkai is Genbu, rounding out the four gods set.




During the cook-off, Jinkai sometimes does his sumo-wrestler-style ground stomp, firing a column of sparkling energy toward the ceiling. It's not like Retso's hypnotic cleaver juggling, though, and is only for intimidation.

[nosimpleway]

You know what? Just to prove a point, I'm not even going to use my fancy recipes and flashy cooking techniques. You want good food? How about a nice vine-ripe tomato with the slightest sprinkle of salt?


It's not about technique. It's about food. Pickled rice and good-quality fish straight out of the harbor.


The Ship Combo is a twist on the Sashimi Combo I got from Retso mere moments before, and judging from the presentation it's an ikizukuri-style fish served in a model boat. Ikizukuri is a sashimi presentation where the fish is filleted and served so quickly the parts of the fish that aren't eaten are served as part of the presentation, often still twitching as an illustration of how fresh everything is.


Suck it you hack, I just beat you in a cooking contest by not cooking a goddamn thing.


Hai Yo: I... I didn't do it alone. Antonio, Lester, Bashok, Retso, Muteiu, they were all behind me, cheering for me... But most of all... Most of all it was Shun Min who gave me the power, the courage to defeat you!
Jinkai: You fool....... I'll never give the 'Moon Bird Recipe' to you!!!! Never, never, never!!!!!
Hai Yo: The 'Moon Bird Recipe'... Shun Min sacrificed her life for it, chefs all over lust after it.... Well here's what I think of it!!!


And as previously established, no other copies of a recipe exist in the world.

Jinkai: Wh, What did you do!!!!! Th, th, that recipe was passed on from chef to chef for ages and ages.....

Retconned in Suikoden 5, as described above.

Hai Yo: Cooking should be fun!!! I don't need something like that to make food that brings happiness to people!!!
Retso: Jinkai, let's stop this! Both you and I walked the path of the chef. But somewhere along the line, we lost sight of what's important.
Jinkai: Retso.....
Retso: Let's start again. This time we won't rely on secret recipes.... This time we'll walk the true path of the chef.....
Jinkai: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hai Yo.... the victory is yours. I was fighting to make chefs of the world happy, but I was wrong. A true chef can never be happy unless the people who eat his food are happy first..... You should go, Hai Yo. I look forward to seeing which path you'll choose. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!


Hai Yo gazes out at the lake and reflects on his hard-won victory.




And that's the end of the cook-off sidequest. Over the course of it we've gotten recipes for some of the most powerful healing items in the game! Between Retso, Gremio, and Jinkai's recipes, there foods that cure up to 950 HP and even some that, stuffed down the throat of someone who's fallen unconscious from their wounds, brings them back to life!

Sashimi Combo plus sugar equals Queen of the Sea, which restores 700 HP and cures all status ailments. Sashimi Combo plus red pepper equals Spicy Sashimi, which heals 650 and gives Toasty regeneration. All of the Special Stew combinations cure at least 750 HP, and the Sweet Syrup that results from mixing in some sugar hypercharges magic power.


Flaming Sea (Jinkai's Kaiseki Dinner plus red pepper), Mellow Stew (Special Stew plus mayonnaise), and the Ship Combo (Sashimi plus soy sauce) can all cure unconsciousness. Ship Combo restores an unconscious person to 450 HP, Mellow Stew to 750 HP, and Flaming Sea to 1/3 of the target's total HP. Of those, Mellow Stew is most likely to be a full restore, so congrats on bringing over that system data so you could get the Special Stew recipe in the first place!

Sashimi Combo recipes call for one of each fish. Special Stew recipes need a potato, an egg, some mutton, and two servings of shrimp. Kaiseki Dinner recipes demand three tomatoes, two portions of pork, two portions of beef, and three servings of shrimp. And that's why I've been so diligent about collecting Tony's garden seeds and Yuzu's livestock!

[Brantly B.]

It's not like there aren't real life examples of super-duper secret recipes out there. Somewhere in an Atlanta bank vault is a soft drink formula worth billions of dollars.