In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

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Büge
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Büge » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:01 pm

And that would be an objectively superior offering to any of them.
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Mongrel
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:02 pm

I dreamed there was a Batman movie starring Ted Danson, only he wasn't even trying to act "Batman", he was just being Ted Danson in a batman suit. The plot was something to do with stopping a nuclear train.
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TA
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby TA » Wed Aug 08, 2018 9:50 pm

I'd watch Ted Danson in a Batman Beyond type take on Superfriends Batman. Wouldn't you?
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Mongrel
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Wed Aug 08, 2018 10:11 pm

TA wrote:I'd watch Ted Danson in a Batman Beyond type take on Superfriends Batman. Wouldn't you?

Hell yeah!
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fanboymaster
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby fanboymaster » Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:16 pm

Long dream where I was keenly aware that I couldn't see shit because my eyes were closed. I was clearly supposed to be doing something but I couldn't do it because my eyes were closed. Very frustrating.
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Mongrel
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Tue Aug 14, 2018 11:21 am

These dream have been getting weirder.

As best I can describe it, last night featured some sort of eternal inscrutable wizard adrift among mostly young (like teenagers and tweens) Polish partisans fighting the post WWII occupation, only the whole thing was done almost as a very stylized stage play. For example the Soviet occupiers didn't look anything like Soviets, but instead like evil princes straight out of folktales from the Time of Troubles. The wizard is captured but has fortunately sent the partisans to go hide among the ordinary workers so they are saved, and defeats (escapes ?) the occupiers by singing an incredibly powerful operetta as he turns into a pillar of flame.

And that's just me trying to put a shape on it. The actual dream was less clear than that. Also it was interspersed with me hanging out with random people I used to know and finding out what they're up to (all of which was pleasantly positive... like I run into an old call centre supervisor as he's about to receive a medical degree).
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby atog » Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:16 pm

Minor backstory:
Scurvy, Mongrel's friend from the land of Oz, is looking for new games we can all play together, that won't suffer too much due to lag or bad ping. He is a much better player of RTS than we are so our forays into zambies, Overshlock, etc. have been short-lived. We tried setting up a minecraft server but without hosting, we're floundering with port forwarding.

Last night I dreamed we had decided to go ahead and play Age of Empires II: Age of Kings as a big 8-man free-for-all, since it's something we can all play, port forwarding is a snap, and the graphics are undemanding.

Ah, but why should we care? you ask. Well, I rarely ever incorporate brontos into dreamland, since I don't know many of you. For some reason, though, we filled the extra slots in our epic battal with good friends from the Land Before Shitposting.

Mongrel picked the English, as he is wont to do, hoping the medieval Britons are better than the comically gimped Napoleonic-era British of the successor game, Age of Empires III. The yeoman archers of late medieval England are a great end-game unit in "Kings" but a lousy Royal Guard-quality unit in the age of muskets and cannon.

Scurvy went straight for raw power and mobility, opting for the Mongols.

Enter the Dinosaurs.

First on the scene was Smiler, who didn't pick a civilization, but instead went for adding in apocalyptic weather and natural disasters. A battle would be raging on a blood-soaked field and suddenly a hailstorm would appear, knocking down parts of towers and turning the tide of a siege. An earthquake swallowed up a khanate on the move through a narrow pass.

Joxam chose the valiant French, eschewing the ordinary "ka-nig-its" so that he could minmax the Paladin tech tree. He went one step further, unlocking a secret tech that allowed his heavily-armoured cuirassiers to assemble into equestrian dreadnoughts. Now, the usual counter to this in the original game was to spam crossbows, because they had no natural counters. Ah, but Bordeaux-bots assemblez! and they became impervious to piercing damage.

Mongrel's response was to build manor houses filled with rubble across the landscape, a sort of line of anti-tank hedgehogs against the French leviathan. The leviathans got bigger and more obnoxious, to force the issue.

For my own civilization, I settled on the Norse, thinking I could take control of the seas and enforce a trade empire. Much to my chagrin, the only water on the map was a shallow ford across the opposite end of the map, already heavily built up and infested with Jox's buildings and snail-consuming swine...what's more, whenever I would have a flotilla of doom ready to raid the coast, a nor'easter would come along and sink a third of my longships and drive the rest into the shallows where they fell prey to guard towers, packs of idle archers, and even some angry fishermen.

It forced me to settle somewhere. Eww! Settlement! I found lots of sheep. A lot of sheep. Somehow this made me realize Friday was also playing. I suspected some of the sheep were spies. This slowed down my economic development, but since Mongrel was the only near neighbour, and his defences were basically garbage houses, i was left alone. I slowly traded with the computer market to get out of the 'hole' and built a flimsy economy out of sheep cheese, wool, and lumber. I used stray sheep to spy on my neighbours. Sadly the Mongols came and cleaned me out good. But not before I saw that Jox had run out of mines, and the prices of everything had skyrocketed, and the Little Ice Age was on the way.
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Mongrel
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Wed Sep 12, 2018 2:20 pm

My bibble. Always going for the tidy bowl in any RTS situation.
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Re: In the Land of Wonderful Dreams

Postby Mongrel » Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:06 pm

So in dream-world, Lyndon Johnson had a son as well as a tamed pet alligator named Les. Johnson and his son (yes, I know Johnson didn't have a son) would play with Les, most notably pushing him on an oversized swing which he seemed to enjoy greatly. After the early death of Johnson's son, and Johnson's own death, the fate of the gator remained surprisingly obscure (but mundane... he was shuffled off to a wildlife preserve or something).

As a result, a comedic movie was made later whereby there's a crisis during Nixon's first term when Les can't be found and it's embarrassing for the government (in the dream-history, Johnson died only a year or so after leaving office). (Nixon never actually appears in the movie, only government stuffed shirts).

Numerous special agents fail to find Les, and are only able to narrow it down a vast swamp region in Florida. Les is large by gator standards and has very distinctive patterns on his back, but given the thousands of other gators, and the vast area of swampland, the agents are coming up empty and some even go missing (presumed eaten). After the FBI fails the job, the CIA take over but still fails in the same way.

The government can't afford to do an all-out search because it would attract even more attention, so instead a desperate and ambitious CIA boss starts "offering" life-sentence or death row convicts the "mission". Several have already died by the time our "heroes" a pair of Laurel-and-Hardy-esque (except the skinny one is also short) Cajun bayou rednecks from Louisiana in for life for a string of idiotically botched bank robberies, are offered the job. I can't recall their names, so I'll just refer to them as Fatty and Shrimp.

One notable scene which sort of gives you a sense of the overall tone of the movie takes place when the The CIA boss gives them the job in his minuscule office, a tiny, awkwardly trapezoid-shaped room which barely fits the boss, a small desk, and space for the two rednecks to stand in. One of the rednecks asks why there's a toilet roll holder in one wall and the CIA boss gets touchy and tells them it's "special equipment".

Just then a janitor/workman appears to respond to some issue with the office. The boss tries to shoo him away given that he's busy, but Shrimp accidentally blurts out that the boss hates his tiny office and gee doesn't it look like it used to be a bathroom? The janitor gently asks the boss if he knows about "the lever". "What lever?" asks the boss, at which the janitor pulls a side of the toilet roll holder, which causes the entire back of the office to smoothly swing back opening into a huge and impressive office, luxuriously appointed, with even a bedroom in the back. The boss is agog, and the janitor blurts out "Me and the boys always wondered why you had us completely remodel the toilet."

Fatty and Shrimp, not knowing that other convicts had been offered a substantial sum of money as well as their freedom "fast-talk" their way into staying in the office (instead of going back to jail that night) in exchange for accepting the mission. The boss, figuring he can pocket the money if they succeed, accepts.

Due to their "hotel room" also being a CIA chief's office, Shrimp discovers exactly what the mission is and what had happened before. Realizing that they've been shafted and that their mission is probably a death sentence, they immediately start planning their escape.

Of course the CIA has anticipated this and as a preventative measure has plastered the area surrounding the swamp with dead-or-alive wanted posters featuring Fatty and Shrimp describing them "armed and dangerous escaped ex-Nazis" who'd been in jail since WWII for "spying against the US", warning the pair they'll be shot by anyone who sees them if they try to escape before the job's done. Meanwhile, Russian KGB agents trying to work against Détente are ALSO trying to disrupt the search, hoping to embarrass Nixon further, so as to completely discredit him.

Of course the pair find Les, befriend him, and with his help keep away various agents sent to catch them, as well as a murderous previous convict who'd escaped but had remained hidden in the swamp. Eventually the Russians, government agents, and the deadly convict neutralize each other in one way or another (the death row con goes last of course) and Les eats all of them afterwards to hide the evidence. Not sure how Fatty and Shrimp escape, but I think they ended up claiming an offshore spy yacht belonging to the Russians and head off for the Caribbean, while Les remains happily in the swamp.
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