GOP Will Shit Itself

[nosimpleway]

You're gonna have a hard time replicating that kind of witty repartee clever insight personal charisma uh...

[Büge]

bowtie.

[Crick]

You'll have to get it on Tucker's new Cancelledcast (wherever you get your podcasts)

[Mongrel]

So Disney just opened fire on DeSantis (filed lawsuit alleging pattern of discrimination, targeted harassment, and violation of constitutional rights - using over a years' worth of DeSantis' public statements as Governor as primary evidence).

This is not even remotely an even fight, lmao.

To be sure, it feels weird rooting for The Mouse, but damn Ron is about to get laid the fuck out and I am here with allll the popcorn for that.

[Crick]

*the sound of multiple office buildings full of Disney lawyers awakening from slumber*

[nosimpleway]

The best possible result would be "You can't legislate against a single company, you fucking moron, but listen a company can't just have its own fiefdom either, that's fucked up" and then things get better

oh well

[Mongrel]

Also the leopards ate Peter Thiel's face.

(he says he's not funding any candidates in 2024, and refuses to fund any Republicans who focus on "culture wars")

[Mongrel]

Sometimes mistakes lead to to amazing things.



(Look, I type too fast, we all know this. Yes, Thad.)

[Mongrel]

Nobel-prize winning veteran hero, five-time Grammy winner, trillionaire, and third highest-ranking GOP member George Santos arrested on federal criminal charges of embezzlement wire fraud, money laundering, theft of public funds and making false statements to Congress, which is all just a brobdingnagian misunderstanding, no doubt.

[Crick]

NO, the war hero?!

[Mongrel]

Yes, the same guy who led the strike team to rescue the president's daughter, Ashley!

[Crick]

T-this is communism!

[atog]

"T-this is communism!" commented noted Yarvard economics professor and IMF development roundtable advisor, Dr. Hon. George Santos, MD PhD D.Sc DDS.

[KingRoyal]

Hearing reports that, according to George Santos, he's been killed in an officer-involved shooting after reaching for a cop's gun. Rest in Power,king

[Grath]

[Mongrel]

This could go in like, five threads on here: DeSantis is set to announce his official candidacy on Twitter, in a presentation with Muskie.

[Thad]

And, in a development that will surprise perhaps as many as two people, the stream isn't working.

Early reporting seems to indicate that the press's obsession with the DeSantis campaign is losing out to its glee at Musk's incompetence.

Even Fox News's headline is "Amateur Hour: Much-hyped Ron DeSantis presidential announcement a disaster on Twitter". Because as hard as Murdoch's in the tank for DeSantis, his true passion is seeing a would-be competitor fail and then kicking them while they're down.

[Mongrel]

Even when the stream was up, it was audio-only and poor quality, and Ron's speaking voice is, well, Ron's speaking voice.

I did quite enjoy Biden's social media staff taking a cheeky moment to repost the link to the Biden/Harris reelection donation site across various platforms, under the text "This link actually works".

[Mongrel]

Early goings yet, but this sure is a field for the ages.

New Quinnipiac national GOP poll

Trump 56%
DeSantis 25%
Haley 3%
Pence 2%
Scott 2%
Christie 2%
Ramaswamy 1%
Youngkin 1%
Sununu 1%
Noem 1%
Elder 1%

[Mongrel]

So, like, I'm pretty damn fuzzy on the details so far (which is actually true for most people, apparently, because there's plenty of obfuscatory text), but apparently the Dems just steamrolled the GOP with the debt ceiling bill deal? Like SNAP enrollment is going to be expanded and the work requirements are in most cases going to not apply? And that was already the only negative that was making the news?

I'm a sure detailed breakdown will be up later today or at least in the next couple days, but it will be funny as all hell (and good!) if true.