Adventures of the Longest Muskrat

[Büge]

Like that Sailor and the Seven BallZ videotape?

[Thad]

That gushing sound you heard is every white-shoe corporate law firm in the country salivating over the billable hours to come.

Twitter is apparently determined to make this true: they just contracted with the law firm of Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz. Wachtell is notable for a few things, including that they're the single most profitable firm, per lawyer, in the world. It's an unambiguous statement that Twitter's board is all-in on pursuing the contract.

And why wouldn't they? As long as they win, Musk is paying the bill.

I somewhat doubt that either Twitter or the court is all that interested in actually forcing the sale, and this is more about determining the size of the settlement (and making sure it's closer to $44B - $26.13B, as of today's stock price, than $1B) to avoid the shareholder lawsuit from "you had an idiot on the hook to buy the company for way more than it's worth and you let him go."

A settlement's usually a good bet, because no matter how good your case and your lawyers are, there's always a chance you'll lose. Parties usually prefer to settle and get a guarantee of some of what they want rather than go to court and risk getting none of what they want.

I think there's a possibility that this time is an exception, though. After all, they're suing him for refusing to honor the last contract they entered into with him; I gotta figure that dampens some of their enthusiasm for entering into another one.

[Grath]

[Mazian]

It's particularly wild that he fired his own negotiator midway through. Explains some decisions.

[Mongrel]

[Thad]

Elon Musk has reason to worry about the judge set to rule on Twitter lawsuit

Elon Musk has reason to worry about the Delaware Court of Chancery judge handling Twitter's lawsuit against him. Kathaleen McCormick, the court's chancellor, or chief judge, "has a no-nonsense reputation as well as the distinction of being one of the few jurists who has ever ordered a reluctant buyer to close a US corporate merger," Reuters wrote today.

[Mongrel]

[Crick]

Someone needs to get a meme that explains this to Elon, ASAP.

[Büge]

[Mongrel]

[Grath]

I need to go apologize to Liefeld for making fun of that Captain America cover. Elon's feet even aren't visible.

[Thad]

Elon says, out loud and in public, that everybody knows Twitter is full of bots and the real number has to be way higher than 5%.

So, two things:

1) He's still misrepresenting (or doesn't understand) what Twitter's "95%" stat means. It's not overall percentage of non-bot accounts on Twitter, it's the percentage of Twitter users interacting with ads who aren't bots.

2) This completely undermines his entire (already flimsy) legal argument for why he's not obligated to buy Twitter.

[Mongrel]

"...and that's 'genius' with a 'J'."

[Mongrel]

EDIT: Oops. Posted the gag but not the main story, lol. GJ Mongrel

[Mongrel]

Or an airplane for a second or two, if the Duke boys find a ramp or hay trailer to jump.

[nosimpleway]

Any vehicle can serve as a boat, it's only a matter of how briefly.

[Grath]

[KingRoyal]

Elon trying to advertise his truck as being even slightly sea-worthy is recklessly dangerous advertising

Back when I lived in a smaller, more rural town there was a river crossing that was only slightly above water level. During rain storms, it was designed for the river to just flow over the bridge and access is supposed to be cut. That did not stop truck owners from thinking that their big, tough vehicle could easily navigate several thousand gallons of flowing water, which would predictably result in their trucks being washed along the overflow. Trucks stranded in the middle of the river were a fairly common sight

Of course, that won't stop Musk, who spent several years promising that "self-driving Teslas" would be out "next year" for several years, mislabeling his drive assist as "auto-pilot" and encouraging drivers to use untested beta software on public streets, even after actual engineers with self-driving expertise told him that self-driving with just cameras is functionally impossible

[Mongrel]

Yeah, please don't ever drive through standing water. That shit gets you killed.

[KingRoyal]

I don't know how they're viewed in the rest of the world, but Americans - especially Texans - think trucks are magic and can do anything up to and including disobeying the laws of physics