Death Road to Brontoforumus

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zaratustra
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby zaratustra » Fri May 01, 2020 2:27 pm

SHE'S GONNA BLOW

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Mongrel
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Mongrel » Fri May 01, 2020 3:08 pm

I'm seriously wondering if that's really the mechanic, where you get a super mega powered character for a short while, but if it happens too early (i.e. before the endgame) they... uhm... are not gonna make it.
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nosimpleway
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby nosimpleway » Fri May 01, 2020 6:22 pm

ANIME LEVELS CRITICAL

I-IT'S NOT LIKE I W-WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN...!!!

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Esperath
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Esperath » Sat May 02, 2020 1:40 am

Mongrel wrote:I'm seriously wondering if that's really the mechanic, where you get a super mega powered character for a short while, but if it happens too early (i.e. before the endgame) they... uhm... are not gonna make it.


In my last game, I got Jason day 1, who immediately proceeded to murder my starting party as well as every single recruit I picked up on the way to Canada. At one point, he disappeared during an exploration so I went "woo, time to ditch Jason", but when I got back to the car, he was just sitting there in the back seat going :)

and one of my party members was missing.

I think he killed 8 different people along the way.
pisa katto

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Friday
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Tue May 05, 2020 7:59 am

The looting event goes normally for a bit, and then...

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Leeham-chan just... up and dies.

I don't even know why or how it happened. She went from full health to dead in an instant.

Uh.

I guess the Anime was too powerful for one girl to contain.

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RIP Leeham-chan. You will always live on in our (less pure) hearts.

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Shortly after our car runs out of gas and we're forced to go on foot for a bit. We take some damage, and then find a food truck to drive. After searchign inside for the keys, we get into our new ride.

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We're absolutely desperate for strength now that we lost our fighter. Zara is a super good mechanic and mharr a super good medic, but between them they can hardly kill a zombie without tiring themselves out. We will need to vastly improve their stats, their guns, or find a good solid Bronto to fight with soon or else this run is going to crash and burn.

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Despite increasing, Zara's str isn't even revealed. mharr goes from "couldn't harm a fly" to "how out of shape I am right now."

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Oh, hey. Beat's a fighter... sort of. Despite looking lethal and being a Big Ol' Brusin' Bandit, I don't think those traits are actually that great for fighting. But hey, another body is another body.

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Can confirm, sings "Fly me to the Moon" beautifully.

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Oh, hey. A rare event. Never seen this one before.

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Oh, I see what you're doing.

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Our fighting stats and weapons are so hilariously underpowered that this small group of zombies takes almost a minute to dispose of. We need upgrades, fast.

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Our fighting strength is SO PATHETIC that Zara is surrounded and killed by a rather small pile of zombies, his friends too exhausted from swinging their weapons all of three times in a row to help. I also got fucked by weird perspective there, see the fence? When beyond it, I assumed I could walk, well, under it to the bottom, but it's coded like it was laying flat on the ground. So I had a lot less room to kite than I thought, which led to me running the wrong way and Zara getting swarmed.

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Inside the house we find both Papa and Mama from the painting. They will help us fight while we explore the barn. I'm hoping to find a Scythe in there, which is a pretty damn good weapon.

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We do indeed find the Scythe I was hoping for. And also this pig and this chicken.

I resist the urge for Bandit to BETRAY PIG. We need all the fightin' power we can muster, and if Pigs are anything like dogs, they're pretty solid fighters who only eat 1 food per day.

(The drawback being they can't use items. Or drive cars. Well. Dogs have a special trait about that, but we'll discuss that if it comes up.)

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Our motley crew heads out. Beat now looks truly terrifying. Too bad his actual stats aren't great.

It occurs to me that both original Brontos have died now, and we're continuing on with recruits only.

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Even with our mechanic dead, mharr isn't bad at it because of his civilized trait. (it's a really good trait despite the permanent morale penalty.) So we take the food, since the Sickle isn't another Scythe and we don't really need it.

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If only R^2 was here to appreciate this. It might even not be a joke, certain traits get bonuses in surprising places so a gourmand might gain extra morale here or something.

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I'm sorry, option 2 is too funny not to pick.

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Indeed.

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NOT SAPIENT
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby mharr » Tue May 05, 2020 8:08 am

Honestly the accuracy of this is starting to get worrying.

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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Tue May 05, 2020 8:35 am

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Beat showing off his bandits skills. I decide not to partake this time, since robbing people is risky and sometimes camp events get you stuff anyway.

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Yep. I'm rewarded for not being an asshole.

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Sigh. That was fast. We didn't have much to start with, and our food truck was a gas hog, so. Back to on foot we go.

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NOT SAPIENT MY ASS

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Some of Beat's old friends show up. After making fun of him for teaming up with a Brit and a Pig, they demand all our shit. Beat beats the fuck out of all of them, but they get in their licks too. Lucky we have mharr and a good amount of medical supplies to patch us up.

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New car time. I hope it's not a fucking van or SUV again.

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While swapping weapons around, I noticed JENOVA THE SAPIENT PIG's attack is called "Pig Butt."

Just letting you all know that.

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Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

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*Reads any given Mongrel post out loud*

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I've gotten this event before, it's nbd as long as you have a civilized person in your party to listen to them and calm them down.

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... except Beat takes the opportunity to rob the poor guy once mharr had him calmed.

The extra stuff is nice, but I was worried about anti-synergy events like this with both a Bandit and a Civilized in the party. We don't want mharr's morale dropping too low, because bad shit will start to happen, including maybe him leaving the group forever.

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The next Trader camp is horde-adjacent, but they can't get through the wall BECAUSE HISTORICALLY WALLS HAVE WORKED REALLY WELL GUYS

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We actually have food to spare, partially thanks to Beat's robbery, but the camp has a pathetic selection of hardly anything worth buying, so we don't. mharr uses his charming personality to pick up some free medical training, though.

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We roll into the next siege. It's in a mall. Sadly we cannot barricade ourselves in and go on a shopping spree, highlighting the nature of man's consumerism as parallel to the zombie's hunger for fresh meat, and then eventually all turn on each other, proving man is the real monster.

I think they're adding that in the next patch.

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PAUL BLART MALL FLART is here with his buddy, but by the time we get over to them one is already zombie chow.

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I'm just gonna go ahead and say that no, no it wasn't.

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Hey look, it's a long horizontal wall breaking the arena into two halves again. Our best friend. We let the zombies trickle in on the right a bit at a time. Pig Butt makes short work of them. I enjoy cleaving four zombies at a time per swing with my REAPER WEAPON OF DOOM.

Directly after this event, Beat makes some comment about robbing people which makes mharr's morale drop even lower. He then immediately has a despair event called "Shaky hands" which lowers his medical, mechanical, and shooting.

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I take the strength even though in retrospect it would have been smarter to take Morale + Random to get mharr back out of "despair event" range. Morale upping events (and lowering) are fairly common, though, so lets hope I get lucky and am not punished for the mistake.

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Huh. mharr actually has better str than Beat. Interesting.

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Despite the hit to his medical, mharr should still have 1 off max. So we do our best to be friends.

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Wow, nice. That's 3? morale ups for mharr, maxing his morale out. (It won't go above medium for a Civilized.)
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Mongrel » Tue May 05, 2020 3:14 pm

YOU KNOW WHAT?

PIG BUTT.

(intended to be read aloud)
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby zaratustra » Tue May 05, 2020 6:52 pm

fffffff-rick

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beatbandito
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby beatbandito » Tue May 05, 2020 7:44 pm

I hope it also says "NOT SAPIENT" in my stats.
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Tue May 05, 2020 8:58 pm

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Two good options. I pick Prepper Cabin because it's lower difficulty and our team is pretty weak, even with a calamity from space pig.

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Hardly any zombies and the interior is littered with supplies.

Just according to keikaku.

*tl note: keikaku means SAPIENT.

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A good amount of ammo, but not much else. Oh well.

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Can you burn this?

I've actually never seen this event before. I pick "WILL WE MAKE IT" because it seems the most honest question, and come on, we know who's gonna betray the team.

Cough.

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Haha. It also gives Beat one point of fitness. Score! mharr just patches up his burns.

Now he can be in better shape when he inevitably betrays us.

And yeah it turns out you totally CAN burn a luigi board!

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Whoa, this bearded guy is in... surprisingly amazing shape?

Even with all the stat ups we've been getting, Niku's str and fitness are still higher than everyone else's. It's almost like he's... hiding something?

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Dark Mansions have a chance to spawn a loot room with a really good weapon and have good supplies as well, so we're def picking that one.

Niku: They're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

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TIME TO BUY A NEW WATCH just means it's gonna be dark the whole time. The darkness makes the zombies maximum aggressive, but between our scythe wielding Niku and Pig Butt, we shouldn't have any problems.

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And we don't. Sadly, there was no loot room to be found. At least we got a lot of supplies.

Niku: Don't worry, we don't need weapons as long as I've got my claws!

mharr: Your... claws?

Niku: I mean my scythe. What'd I say? Say, you're looking mighty tasty there Jenova. Do you work out?

SAPIENT PIG FROM OUTER SPACE: I do! Thanks for noticing! :D

Niku: Your flanks look especially delicious.

Jenova: Thanks!

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Our car then runs out of gas. Fucking vans.

(I skipped an event where we were forced to either take shelter and endure a siege or plow through a river. I picked the siege hoping for supplies, but the room was empty. The good news is we were able to fight off the zombies with our team pretty easily.)
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Mothra » Tue May 05, 2020 10:15 pm

Really stepped in it now...

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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Tue May 05, 2020 11:50 pm

BeatBandit: Man, if our dumb vans keep running out of gas, we'll never make it to Canada.

Niku: Don't worry, I can run upwards of 30-40 mph (that's 64.3738 kph, mharr) so I can make it on foot.

mharr: That's absurd. Humans can't run as fast as cars.

Niku: Correct.

mharr: What?

Niku: What?

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Niku: Hey, you gonna eat that catfish?

BeatBandit: Uh, yeah? We all are?

Niku: Just checking. You sure?

Beat: Yes?

Niku: It never hurts to check!

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We fight our way to a new car. It is, of course, another fucking van.

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This is a super good event. iirc, it's free fitness and morale for everyone. Or you can pick shooting, or comedy for extra morale. I don't know what Sumo does for sure, I assume strength.

Oh, that reminds me. I've learned more about what the stats do exactly.

So it turns out that having higher Str doesn't increase your damage. In fact, nothing does. Higher shooting doesn't increase damage with guns either. Weapons do static damage, the same every time. Zombies have randomized HP that tends toward the lower end.

For example, the Brass Knuckles (the weapon mharr is using) has a damage of 1, a cooldown of .6 seconds, a knockback of 1.5, and 0 extra hits.
Compared the Niku's Scythe: 1.7 dam, 1.4 second cooldown, 3 knockback, and 3 extra hits at 100% chance.

So knockback is good because it increases the chance you'll knock Zombies off their feet (and away from you) with each blow. Downed zombies obviously won't attack or move until they pick themselves up, and they take extra damage in this state too.

Cooldown is the amount of time it takes you swing again. Extra hits is cleave. The Scythe has amazing cleave at 100% rate, which makes it a great weapon despite it's relatively low damage compared to other heavy hitting weapons.

So, if Str doesn't affect your damage, then what?

More Str does three things.
1: Reduces cooldown on melee weapons, so you can swing more often.
2: Less energy used per swing.
3: Lift heavier objects to throw at zombies. At high str, you can lift beds, shelves, etc.

Fit is similar, but:
1. Less energy used per swing.
2. Bigger energy pool.
3. Faster energy recovery when not attacking.

Overall, this makes both stats pretty much equally useful for melee users. Fitness is slightly better imo because while throwing shit at Zombies is really powerful, you can't always depend on having stuff around to throw handy in a pinch.

As stated before, if you run out of energy, the cooldown time goes way up and your damage drops to basically nil, making you pretty much useless. Generally this is why guns are better for low fit/str characters, but they have their own drawbacks (including limited ammo) of course.

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Anyway, we all work out to some sick 80s retro tunes.

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Bleh. Two bad options. We take the Sporting Goods Store.

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In the first house we explore, we find a Fire Axe in the back, a decent mid-range melee weapon.

Damage: 2 Cooldown: 1.2 Knockback: 2 Extra hits: 1 (50%)

mharr takes it. It actually hits harder than the scythe, but the lack of super cleave means it's not nearly as good. Beat gets the Brass Knuckles.

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Niku: Yes, it's important to be Super Sporting with your prey when you are hunting.

mharr: Oh, you're a hunter?

Niku: Obligate carnivore, in fact.

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Surprising nobody, the store doesn't have much in it. After clearing out the whole town, we get a mediocre haul. But I wasn't expecting much else.

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Uh oh. Thankfully Niku's got a ton of fitness.

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mharr: Wow, that was amazing Niku!

Niku: *huff, huff* thanks! No big deal. Did you know a Jaguar has a powerful enough bite to break through and kill a Caiman's skull? They do it all the time actually!

mharr: Wow, you sure know a lot about cats Niku! Is that why you were running from the alligator on all fours?

Niku: Nope! That's not why!
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Wed May 06, 2020 1:36 am

Next we run into a Trader camp.

We pick up free mechanical training for mharr (he charms the trainer girl with his dashing mustache) an AK-47 for 25 food, ad an Uzi for 15 food.

Not cheap, but they're powerful automatic weapons that we'll need for the endgame, which is coming up soon.

Beat also robs a shotgun shell seller, getting us some free shells but kicked out of the camp.

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Next up is a required siege. Niku sharpens his fangs scythe.

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I give Beat the Uzi and Niku the AK. Beat and mharr keep their shottys.

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The siege goes well. We camp out in a room and just meatgrinder everyone as they pile in. Niku's high fitness and good strength is invaluable.

Afterward, we get our "level up" reward. I am tempted for Fitness, but Niku's is already max and I think SPACE PIG is also, so I go for Morale and random. Beat +1 all is tempting too.

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Not bad. Fitness for both mharr and SPACE PIG. Morale is always good.

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Shock. This is the most I have EVER run out of gas, but it's not surprising, I keep finding fucking vans. They have good chassis but who cares, they always run out of gas before you can take advantage of it.

We lose some supplies due to a hole in a backpack, and take some damage from a feral cat. mharr's morale drops to despair levels.

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Fucking finally. A hybrid will probably take us the rest of the way to Canada.

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Nice. Woodchopping is free strength for one character. We send Niku.

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His str is now one off max, and his fitness is max.

SPACE PIG turns out to be a little bitch.

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I have no idea what stat this checks or if it's just random, but I'm not giving them shit (giving in to bandit demands also lowers morale) and I've never got a bad result by calling the bluff here.

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Until now. Doh.

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Bar vs a chance to train. I'll take the chance to get trained or extra food.

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Niku: Hurry guys! Someone could be hurt in there! Someone could be very very vulnerable in there and unable to defend themselves!

mharr: Yeah, let's go!

Niku: Yeah! We need to get there before the zombies eat all the best parts!

mharr: Yeah, we --

mharr: ...

mharr: You mean, "before the zombies eat them?"

Niku: Yeah, what'd I say?

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We find our pink haired cute army girl clutching her hammer. She is very glad to see us.

Niku: You look so tasty.

Terry: Excuse me?

Niku: You look succulent.

Terry: Huh?

Niku: You look like you would fit nicely inside of my digestive tract.

Terry: I'm sorry, what?

Niku: Stomach.

Terry: Oh.

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We take Terry back to our sweet ride.

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Good haul, overall. 22 food goes a long way toward making up for the 40 we spent on guns.

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We don't need the morale, the first aid, and we don't want Terry on our team. So fitness it is, even though it will only hit Beat and mharr.

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9 food (Marshmallows count as whatever you would have eaten +2) or morale. Still don't need the morale, so stale smores it is.

Niku: This is far less tasty than Terry would have been.

Niku: I mean, uh. Guild.
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Wed May 06, 2020 5:33 am

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Hmm, a Rescue isn't really good unless we luck out and get shooting or strength. I think I'll take the chance that a Safe has a good weapon or Rifle ammo.

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Our crew rolls up to the junkyard. Hardly any zombies around.

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There's that safe. Gotta find the combo, though. It's in the back of the junkyard guarded by a horde, but we take em out no problem with Niku and co.

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Sweet. Just what I was hoping for. The AK can hold a ton of rifle ammo, so we'll put all 60 of those shots to good use in the final siege.

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Fuckin' bandits, man.

BeatBandit: Hey, don't be racist.

Luckily I have mharr, so he can be civil and offer a deal.

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Our medical supplies are low already, so whatevs. Good going, mharr.

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We don't need the extra food all that much and I don't want to be tired this near the end of the game. We just go to sleep.

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Jenova is all about gains.

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This normally results in you choosing someone to lose morale.

mharr! Use your brain!

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Jenova thinks this is fucking hilarious. She probably would, being some sort of dead space ghost alien pig thing.

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An Arcade can increase someone's shooting, but we're almost out of gas and extra food never hurt. Yall Marts can have gas sometimes in the back storage rooms, so. We just need a tad more to get those final miles down.

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BeatBandit: CLEAN UP ON AISLE ALL OF 'EM, HAHAHA

mharr: psssst, I'm worried about this guy. He seems to be mentally unstable and I think he might betray us.

Niku: I wouldn't worry.

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Paydirt. Or rather, paygas.

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Well, this is just overkill. Overgas.

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Nice work group!

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I really cannot stress enough how often a good support character comes in handy. mharr has been worth his weight in gol --, well, canned food this run.

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BAH.

All that work to get gas and the fucking car breaks down. And mharr only has average mechanical, which is good for most things but not repairing Hybrids, which have the highest required check.

So I guess I'll have SPACE PIG punch the car.

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JENOVA YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PIG YOU

Her... "hand"?

Also I know for a fact her str is higher than awful. What bug shit is this?

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We find a muscle car to take us the final few miles. Along the way we had another "hole in backpack" event, losing some morale and supplies, and had to waste a day's worth of food camping in the wet.

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mharr learns some shooting tricks from a Bazooka-Cloud.

Cool, cool.

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YEAH YOU TELL EM TALKING SAPIENT SPACE PIG

Wait, no don't it hurts morale.

We roll up to the FINAL TRADER CAMP.

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Sick. Medieval Axe has almost twice the power of the Scythe and cleaves 3 instead of 4, but is overall a huge upgrade. One of the best weapons in the game for the cost. Niku grabs it and passes his Scythe to mharr, who gives the Fire Axe to Beat. So long, Brass Knuckles.

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We get some free fitness training for mharr cause he's so damn charming.

It's been a long road for mharr, who has been with us since (nearly) the beginning. His fitness is actually respectable now. He'll need it.
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby mharr » Wed May 06, 2020 6:26 am

The greatest inaccuracy here is that I could never grow such magnificent facial hair. The only style my genetics will allow is Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Mongrel » Wed May 06, 2020 9:37 am

So in that one bandit deal, what does "Personal Treasures" mean you give up? Stat loss of some kind? Morale drop?
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Friday » Wed May 06, 2020 10:08 am

I picked it once and it's a MASSIVE morale drop. I think -2 to all.

Oh, I went ahead and looked up the Magical Girl mechanics because I was curious (and now that I've gotten the blind experience)

So, like Mongrel said, Magical Anime Girl is a super-character (though she's not as powerful as SOME op characters you can get, or even just like, Niku with his high stats + axe is probably slightly better) that eventually just deforms and explodes.

Yes, explodes.

We actually got lucky this run that she randomly died on a map. If she doesn't (she has a low % chance to whenever she takes damage or attacks while she's at maximum deform level) she will explode in the car, dealing damage to your whole group.

So, lucky we avoided that, though it would have probably made for a funnier LP.

There are two special things she can do:

1. If you find the ANIME TRUCK with her in your party (the same one that made Leeham flip out to begin with and maxed his morale, transforming him) you can have her fulfill the owners request to "say her catchphrase" which will make her say one of her random anime lines and then he'll flip out and give you his entire stock.

2. There's a super rare event (I've never even seen it) where you run into a bunch of anime fans running an anime store. Normally it's just there for THE JOKES, but if you are incredibly lucky and manage to randomly find them while Magical Anime Girl is in your party but before she explodes, they will LIFT THE CURSE OF ANIME and freeze her in whatever state she's in at the time you found them, granting you permanent Leeham-chan.

She has several possible ending texts if you make it over the border with her, including "FINALLY confessed to senpai" and "became the most 'kawaii' anime girl in Canada. Translator's Note: Kawaii means cute."
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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby nosimpleway » Wed May 06, 2020 12:12 pm

saddled by shitty minivans huh

sucks, don't it?

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Re: Death Road to Brontoforumus

Postby Esperath » Wed May 06, 2020 8:53 pm

Friday wrote:If she doesn't (she has a low % chance to whenever she takes damage or attacks while she's at maximum deform level) she will explode in the car, dealing damage to your whole group.


Unlike the other unique characters, Anime Girl doesn't have an achievement for making it to Canada. Instead, she has:

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