Let's all go to the movies~

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Thad
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Thad » Wed Nov 14, 2018 10:44 am

The biggest problem with Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald...well, really the biggest problem is, Johnny Depp is a wife-beater and should be shunned by polite society, and if you don't want to pay money to see something he's in, I don't blame you.

The second-biggest problem is right there in the title: this is a movie that tries to tell a dark tale of the rise of Wizard Hitler while also being a sequel to that movie about the whimsical fellow with the trunk full of cute critters.

And while I actually love the idea of Dumbledore and Grindelwald's story being told from the perspective of a side character (especially one who answers the question "What if Hagrid was also Neville?"), the two elements never really quite gel. Why are Queenie and Kowalski in this movie? Because they were in the last movie, that's why.

There are too many characters, too many subplots, and they never really feel like they quite tie together in the end. I feel like Rowling hasn't quite gotten the hang of this scripting thing yet and is still writing for a 600-page novel. And the twist ending is really, really lame.

And while "Jude Law as Dumbledore" sounds great, sadly he's not. Somewhere in the scripting, editing, Law's performance, or perhaps all of the above, somebody forgot that Dumbledore is supposed to be fun and weird. Here he's just a square-jawed sad-sack. And Rowling (or possibly WB) still doesn't have the guts to come out and say that he and Grindelwald are former lovers right there in the text, though at least the subtext is pretty damn loud about it.

All in all? Eh, kind of a mess. But it's got its moments.

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mharr
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby mharr » Wed Nov 14, 2018 12:27 pm

On the fictional front I can't get past the various magical nations' legal systems competing to make Dracula and the Inquisition look like time out at daycare. Cross these guys and they won't leave any part of your soul intact to meet your creator. Does Rowling have some things she needs to talk through?

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Grath » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:26 pm

mharr wrote:On the fictional front I can't get past the various magical nations' legal systems competing to make Dracula and the Inquisition look like time out at daycare. Cross these guys and they won't leave any part of your soul intact to meet your creator. Does Rowling have some things she needs to talk through?

I mean, these days she's too busy "accidentally" liking articles from TERFs, so...

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mongrel » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:37 pm

I've heard The Crimes of Grindelwald described as "Rowling has finally gone full George Lucas".
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Thad
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Thad » Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:29 pm

mharr wrote:On the fictional front I can't get past the various magical nations' legal systems competing to make Dracula and the Inquisition look like time out at daycare. Cross these guys and they won't leave any part of your soul intact to meet your creator. Does Rowling have some things she needs to talk through?

I felt like the point of that was to point out that the Allies did horrific things in the name of "the greater good" too (she certainly hasn't shied away from depicting the "good guys" subjecting prisoners to horrific tortures before; remember that was the entire point of Azkaban), but it's one more plot point that feels like it needed more follow-through.

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Thad » Sun Nov 25, 2018 12:15 pm

The contradiction at the heart of Bohemian Rhapsody is that, while Queen was a unique band and Freddy Mercury was a unique artist, their story isn't unique at all. You've seen this movie before, and you'd get the same rise-fall-reunion story arc if you watched Spinal Tap or Walk Hard.

But it's a good cast, it hits the plot beats -- and, most importantly, it's Queen. If you see this movie in a theater, you get to listen to Queen songs on a movie theater sound system. That's really the main draw.

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mongrel » Thu Dec 13, 2018 3:06 pm

So apparently for the first time in... ever? Sonic fans seem to be completely united - in their hatred for the incoming Sonic movie.

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Niku » Fri Dec 14, 2018 6:27 pm

spider-verse is probably the best movie i've seen all year

it is easily the most gorgeous movie i've seen since coraline

it is infuriating just how funny and moving and poignant and perfect it is because they make it seem so goddamn effortless
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Thad » Sun Dec 16, 2018 4:58 pm

The Grinch is about what you'd expect: it couldn't possibly be as good as the Chuck Jones version; it couldn't possibly be as bad as the Ron Howard version; so it falls somewhere in-between and is Okay.

I think my biggest gripe is that, contrary to the annoying hip-hop remix's assertions that he is a mean one, it would be more accurate to describe this particular Mr. Grinch as a depressed one. He's just kind of a sad-sack, and even though he knocks over a kid's snowman and steals Christmas, he never actually seems to derive any enjoyment from it. All those bits from the book, the TV special, and even the godforsaken Jim Carrey movie where the Grinch is clearly relishing his evil deeds are completely absent here. He's not having any fun.

Which gives me mixed feelings on Benedict Cumberbatch's performance in the lead role: it turns out he's a fantastic voice actor; I wouldn't have recognized his voice at all if I hadn't known it was him going in. But...why? Had the Grinch been written as a more Boris Karloff type, Cumberbatch's regular, deep voice (and frequent acerbic, sarcastic performance) would have been perfect. Instead, he does a great job playing a Grinch who I don't find particularly compelling.

There are some strange choices in the rewrites, too. The single most important line in the book, "What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more" has been changed to something entirely different and, to my ears at least, not nearly as effective.

There's also at least one spot where they keep the original text even though it makes no sense: early on, the narrator (Pharrell Williams) delivers the original line, "The Grinch hated Christmas -- the whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason." And then later on, he explains that the Grinch hates Christmas because he was a lonely orphan who didn't get any Christmas presents. What the fuck, narrator? You told us nobody knows the reason, and then later on, you told us what the reason was.

Anyway. It was fine. There's some lovely animation in there and they do a good job capturing Seuss's visual style. The cast does a fine job. It's a perfectly decent movie. But it could have been better, even if it couldn't have been as good as the Chuck Jones version.

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mothra » Sun Dec 16, 2018 10:42 pm

Niku wrote:spider-verse is probably the best movie i've seen all year

it is easily the most gorgeous movie i've seen since coraline

it is infuriating just how funny and moving and poignant and perfect it is because they make it seem so goddamn effortless

Uh yeah so, Into the Spider-Verse is fucking phenomenal. Wow.

It is legit the best comic book movie I've ever seen. Embraces everything great about the medium, celebrates its absurdity, hits all the emotional beats and somehow tells a great, coherent, affecting story. God damn that was good.

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Thad » Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:47 pm

also the Grinch wears pants that look like they are part of his body and this raises all kinds of disturbing questions about Grinch anatomy.

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Büge » Mon Dec 17, 2018 12:01 am

the censors won't let them show grinch gronch
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mongrel » Mon Dec 17, 2018 1:06 pm

Büge wrote:the censors won't let them show grinch grundle
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Büge » Wed Dec 19, 2018 8:19 pm

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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby beatbandito » Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:14 pm

No thank you.
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mongrel » Wed Dec 19, 2018 9:21 pm

Wait... weren't there already two mediocre Hellboy movies?

Is this a sequel to them (it seems to take quite a bit from the later Hellboy books), or some kind of bizarre standalone, or...?
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Büge » Wed Dec 19, 2018 10:40 pm

It's a new beast.
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mongrel » Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:13 pm

beatbandito wrote:No thank you.
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby beatbandito » Thu Dec 20, 2018 6:53 am

Okay I'm almost two hours early for a meeting and not falling asleep in the car so let's get into it.

- Three of the five faces we keep seeing are actors that are most popular for roles they were in or finishing when peoduction on the movie was starting, which is never a good sign in my book.

- Broom and Hellboy seemingly arguing about secret actions, saying "made me like this". This is the most likely trailer bullshit, but turning more interesting stories into 'made in a lab' isn't uncommon.

- Clearly hitching onto Attack on Titan aesthetic with the green robes and backpacks on horse before showing building sized monsters slaughtering someone.

- None of the jokes land.
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Re: Let's all go to the movies~

Postby Mongrel » Thu Dec 20, 2018 1:05 pm

beatbandito wrote:- None of the jokes land.


Oh man this. Even the one that comes with an actual physical landing.
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