Star Wars

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beatbandito
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Re: Star Wars

Postby beatbandito » Wed Feb 09, 2022 4:24 pm

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Thad » Wed Feb 09, 2022 5:56 pm

KingRoyal wrote:Not looking forward to the future where Disney owns their actors for infinity

Well, I'm sure Hamill at least got a paycheck out of the deal. It's not like he's a novelist or something.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby KingRoyal » Wed Feb 09, 2022 5:58 pm

He is now, but Disney has already shown they'll do it for dead actors, and with vocal reproduction they'll be able to just have Hamill be Luke Skywalker long after we're dead
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Re: Star Wars

Postby Mongrel » Wed Feb 09, 2022 6:37 pm

How "comforting".
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Re: Star Wars

Postby Thad » Fri Feb 11, 2022 12:20 pm

Welp, that's Boba Fett season 1, then.

There were bits I quite liked! I like the cast. It's a little embarrassing that the best episode was an episode of The Mandalorian cleverly disguised as an episode of Boba Fett, but I'll take it.

And the finale was enjoyable to watch, even if nothing anybody did made much sense. It was a Robert Rodriguez western that turned into a kaiju movie for a minute at the end. It sure was pretty.

And sure, the guest appearances were excessive, but (1) I love me some Cad Bane (and it was nice to have Corey Burton return as his voice) and (2) given how much the Lucasfilm TV series so far consist of "hey, it's that guy who was in that other thing!" it gives me some hope that we'll see Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Kevin Pollak, and Rick Overton in the Willow series.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby beatbandito » Tue Feb 15, 2022 10:03 am

The Book of Boba Fett is dumb and bad. The dialogue, the actions, nothing makes any sense. The best episodes are at the level of the worst episodes of The Mandalorian.

I have so many rants in my head about bad decisions, but it all comes back to what anyone else who hadn't watched yet probably also assumed: they knew a Boba Fett show would be stupid, so they made The Mandalorian instead. Then that was successful enough they were like "okay now do that again, but with Boba Fett" and hey, guess what, it's stupid.
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Re: Star Wars

Postby Grath » Tue Feb 15, 2022 11:44 am

The best episodes of The Book of Boba Fett were, in particular, the ones that were Season 2.5 of The Mandalorian (and didn't make any attempt to have a 60-year-old man carry his own fight scenes despite the character being famous for wearing a full suit of armor and helmet that conveniently would obscure a stuntman.)

Also how does Luke look and sound robotically like Original Series Luke while Boba Fett is so washed up and decrepit? Like, I know he was in the sarlacc pit for a while but this series is only 5 years after he was king shit with 7 minutes of footage and 4 speaking lines, and canonically he's 41.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Mothra » Tue Feb 15, 2022 2:33 pm

I kinda like the idea that Boba Fett's an Old, and that we've always just assumed he was younger than he actually was. You gotta just put aside the chronology of the prequels but whatever, who gives a fat slap. It's cool to imagine he's just been in the game for long enough that he's extremely experienced.

All that's to say, there's no reason they can't have action scenes happen when he's got the helmet on and a stunt man in there. I just don't think this show was up to the task of actually having any good action, or telling any kind of story, or any of that. It really was just white noise while we wait for Mando season 3.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Mothra » Tue Feb 15, 2022 2:42 pm

Anyways here were my impressions:

This super duper had the feeling of a middling, scripted third-person vidcon shooter called "Star Wars: Bounty Hunter: Payback", where everyone had these looping background fake battles, shooting ineffectively in each other's direction until the player characters showed up and nailed every single enemy square in the face without taking a lick of damage.

Particularly in the moment where they didn't know what to do to beat the boss, so they ran around it in circles, buying time as the AI tried to slowly turn to catch them. They then proceeded to cycle through each of their weapons while they actively tried to figure out what they were supposed to do to kill this thing.

A real shitshow!

  • Okay so Boba Fett misreads the entire situation with the other crime bosses, and as a result, they get surprise-attacked and put on to the back foot. This makes the entire Fett plot for the last three eps to be pointless, because none of their plan actually goes into effect. Now I don't mind Boba Fett fucking up, lord knows that fallibility is one of the things I love most about Mando, but he just seems like a moron for spending so much time doing this job and completely sucking ass at it.
  • Once the attack begins, the assassin lady gets on a speeder bike and takes off to kill all the crime bosses. Much is made of the fact that every second counts here, and she'll never make it! Then the next scene we see the mod squad hiding behind barrels, and they get miraculously saved by - big reveal - the assassin lady! She then hastily gets back on her bike and takes off. Just extremely awkward that she would've wandered over to where they were, set up, killed all the goons, and bantered with the mod squad, when they're driving home that every moment counts.
  • I love that Luke Skywalker gave Glup Shitto - a literal baby who is unable to walk nor talk - a choice between his father figure and a beam sword that kills anything it touches. Then when he chooses his father, the puts him in an X-Wing with an astromech, and sends him on a multi-day journey to Tattooine during a hot war between crime syndicates, run by his old nemesis who tried to kill him recently, whom he then murdered, who is known only to Luke as the scumbag that abducted his friend Han and brought the empire onto his tail.
  • I liked the evil alien cowboy a lot - cool design, makeup, VA - and it makes a lot of sense that apparently he's just directly brought over from some unproduced Clone Wars script. Holy shit did his entire thing about being Fett's mentor come out of nowhere and mean nothing due to being so unearned, but, it did give a glimpse of something that could've been cool to see, were it the entire main story and not a one-episode thing. Only this show would think it was a good idea to not use this at all until the final episode.
  • With the above said, I want to say I love love love that Boba Fett's fight with Cad Bane. Cad Bane nails Fett in the chest directly three times, three perfect kill shots, and Fett wins the day because: He is wearing invincible armor. It's not that he's a good fighter, it's not that he had any secret plan, he's not faster or more clever, nothing, he just is wearing invincible armor, and that's how he wins. It makes Fett look like a complete dipshit and I love it. It also plays to the idea that all Fett ever was was a regular guy in cool armor.
  • Got a real kick out of how many Free Town civilians eat shit in this ep due to Fett not having any kind of plan or strategy. They are constantly just fleeing down a long road from rapid gunfire, getting cut down. I gotta wonder how many of these people wondered in their final moments why the fuck they were made to do this.
  • Rancor stuff was fun!
  • Among my favorite scenes in this is the bit where, besieged by fire and in an impossible tactical situation, Boba Fett and Mando decide to just walk out the front door into a hairstorm of fire, and just start perfectly nailing each and every enemy in sight with every single shot they take. It could not be made more clear that these two cannot take any damage of any kind, and there is in fact no threat to be found here. Again, Boba Fett is revealed to be nothing more than just a dude who happened to find really cool armor.
  • Okay so in this episode, it is conclusively revealed that the two Jabba the Hutts that showed up in episode 1 and a few other ones had no impact on this show whatsoever. They arrived, they made a limp attempt to kill Boba Fett with a bounty hunter so shitty he couldn't kill a sleeping Old in a tank of water, then when that failed, they sinisterly gifted him an entire rancor with a trainer, who also sinisterly looked into the camera with a smile. This was not some kind of trick it turns out! They weren't doing this to kill Fett! They just gave him a rancor and left the planet, defeated! What the fuck was that?!
  • Pretty wild decision to introduce that one girl from Free Town who gets tons of speaking lines and moments in the ep, despite us having no idea who she is nor why we should care. Feels like a bit late to bring in new people, show!!! Maybe bring back that one sand raider that beat Boba's ass, or something like that!
  • Obsessed with the final line from Fett in this show being, "Man, we ain't cut out for this shit", after ALL THAT, after THAT ENTIRE SHOW, and they just hand the keys over a handful of his goons and they leave the planet. Absolutely deranged.
  • Big fan how, utterly inexplicably and without any buildup, Amy Sedaris decides during a chase sequence that she has a thing for David Pasquesi's twi'lek character, and they pair up. Just, ???
  • Kind of drove me insane how they continued to fire at the invincible bubble shield after it was clear that it didn't do anything, but I guess everyone keeps doing that with the invincible mandalorians so w/e

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Mongrel » Tue Feb 15, 2022 5:18 pm

Mothra, your hilarious review has not gone unappreciated. :D
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Re: Star Wars

Postby IGNORE ME » Tue Feb 15, 2022 7:47 pm

I've made the observation before that everybody in the SWG seems to age more rapidly than humans on Earth, so I went and did some nerdy math, which is a thing you can do when you're underemployed. Throwing out Padme, who we can only assume was put on some crazy-ass growth hormones, and anybody under the age of 20 who's subject to Hollywood Casting, I found that all the adult actors hover around an average of 1.13x the age of their characters. Boba Fett on the other hand is aging at a rate of 1.51x.

What does this mean? Nothing, I just wanted to try and justify my time.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Büge » Tue Feb 15, 2022 8:45 pm

Mothra wrote:It's not that he's a good fighter, it's not that he had any secret plan, he's not faster or more clever, nothing, he just is wearing invincible armor, and that's how he wins


It worked for Clint Eastwood.
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Re: Star Wars

Postby Thad » Wed Feb 16, 2022 10:57 am

beatbandito wrote:I have so many rants in my head about bad decisions, but it all comes back to what anyone else who hadn't watched yet probably also assumed: they knew a Boba Fett show would be stupid, so they made The Mandalorian instead. Then that was successful enough they were like "okay now do that again, but with Boba Fett" and hey, guess what, it's stupid.

I think it's more that they planned to make a Boba Fett show but The Mandalorian got made first and then they had to scramble to figure out what the fuck they were going to do on a Boba Fett show to make it different than The Mandalorian.

(They didn't try very hard, inasmuch as two of the seven episodes of Boba Fett are just Mandalorian episodes with a different title at the beginning.)

They purportedly had the same issue with the Obi-Wan Kenobi series, which was originally going to be about Obi-Wan protecting a baby Luke Skywalker, but had to be retooled after Mando did the whole Lone Wolf and Cub thing. So, uh, I'm not getting my hopes up for that one; I expect much the same as we got from Boba Fett: a good cast and a lot of nonsense that they had to come up with after Mando did the stuff they wanted to do.

(I'm kinda curious whether Hayden Christensen will be any good if he's got better material than he had in 2&3. I mean I assume they're not just going to have James Earl Jones read all his lines and we're going to see him as Anakin in flashbacks or dreams or visions or something; not much point bringing back Hayden Christensen if you're just going to put him in the Darth Vader costume the whole time.)

Mothra wrote:I kinda like the idea that Boba Fett's an Old, and that we've always just assumed he was younger than he actually was. You gotta just put aside the chronology of the prequels but whatever, who gives a fat slap.

It'd be easier to ignore Episode 2 and Clone Wars if the show didn't keep bringing them up.

But yeah, the "try to make the Star Wars timeline make sense" ship sailed 23 years ago when Lucas decided there was a Jedi Council in the galactic capital within living memory and they all dressed like Obi-Wan Kenobi when he was supposed to be concealing his identity. Forget it, Luke. It's Mos Eisley.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Thad » Wed Feb 16, 2022 11:38 am

oh man you guys

If you think Boba Fett's age doesn't make sense now, how long do you s'pose it'll be before Captain Rex shows up and they're the same age?

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Re: Star Wars

Postby KingRoyal » Wed Feb 16, 2022 12:01 pm

You could explain away Boba's age as he was a clone instead of a regular kid, so his genetic material was already aged when he was created. So he's advanced in age because he had a head start, genetically. Then you only have the issue of why all the storm troopers are still doing fine
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Re: Star Wars

Postby Grath » Wed Feb 16, 2022 12:56 pm

KingRoyal wrote:You could explain away Boba's age as he was a clone instead of a regular kid, so his genetic material was already aged when he was created. So he's advanced in age because he had a head start, genetically. Then you only have the issue of why all the storm troopers are still doing fine

My understanding is that the clone troopers were relatively rapidly phased out for conventional soldiers for cost savings, so by original trilogy time they're mostly just regular people.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby KingRoyal » Wed Feb 16, 2022 12:57 pm

I thought they were still clones in the original trilogy. Didn't the sequel trilogy actually specifically pointed out that they weren't using clones?
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Re: Star Wars

Postby Thad » Wed Feb 16, 2022 1:25 pm

KingRoyal wrote:I thought they were still clones in the original trilogy. Didn't the sequel trilogy actually specifically pointed out that they weren't using clones?

I don't know if they specifically pointed it out but I think it's pretty strongly implied.

Per Rebels, we know there are still some surviving clones as of the time of the OT, so I'm guessing there were probably still clones in the Empire. But I don't think they were still creating new clones by then.

(At least, not new clones of Jango Fett. The Palpatine in Ep 9 is a clone; that's not stated in the movie but IIRC Kennedy or somebody confirmed that in an interview.)

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Grath » Wed Feb 16, 2022 1:29 pm

Canon novel Tarkin, set 5 years after the Clone Wars wrote:When the stormtrooper operating the equipment accidentally allowed the flattened sphere to bang against the edge of the cargo hold’s retracted hatch, Vader stamped forward with his gloved hands clenched.

“I warned you to be careful!” he shouted up at the trooper.

“My apologies, Lord Vader. Wind shear from—”

“Excuses won’t suffice, Sergeant Crest,” Vader cut him off. “Perhaps you are aging too quickly to remain on active duty.”

Tarkin couldn’t make sense of the remark until he realized that Crest’s was a face he had seen countless times during the war—the face of an original Kamino clone trooper. The bare-headed others comprising Vader’s squad were human regulars who had enlisted after the war.

This is from a current-canon novel, set 5 years after the Clone Wars/14 years before A New Hope.

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Re: Star Wars

Postby Grath » Wed Feb 16, 2022 1:33 pm

Also, Pablo Hidalgo (writer on Rebels) confirmed that the majority of Storm Troopers are no longer clones by the time of Rebels, set 5 years before ANH.

(Starts at 2:56, since the Youtube embed apparently can't handle timestamps.)

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