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Re: SHOCKtober

Postby Niku » Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:12 pm

26.) Tragedy Girls [Available on Hulu]
A fun little bubblegum piece of nihilism that's not gonna light the world on fire (and didn't), but is cute enough. Two teen besties who run social media accounts dedicated to true crime in their little town want to boost their followers and likes, but more than that, they wanna MURDER!! So they taze and kidnap and tie up the local slasher who's been killing teens all around town, and then continue his murdering spree themselves to maximize their internet fame. Yasss queen! .. it's not really as fun or quirky as you or it wants to be, but it's not terrible either. Charming performances make up for the lulls, mostly, but you're better off watching Booksmart and Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon in a back to back double-feature rather than this more tepid combination of the two.

27.) Rings [Available on Amazon Prime Video]
<Niku> i think Rings might have been filmed specifically to hurt me
<leeham> are they still making terrible Ring sequels
<Niku> yeah but this one's a terrible american sequel from a year or two ago that is basically so far like fucking
<Niku> what if flatliners were obsessed with the cursed video instead of dying
<Niku> or some shit
<leeham> Niku, can I ask you a serious question
<leeham> why the fuck did they remake flatliners
<Niku> because the original existed
<Niku> that's all the reason they need anymore
<Niku> i knew i should have put on Sadako vs Kayako instead of this no matter how bad i've heard that is
<leeham> ok guys we need a hot property to bring back to cash in on that sweet sweet franchise revival money
<leeham> oh I know, how about this mediocre 1990 b-movie with Kiefer Sutherland and Kevin Bacon that nobody on god's green earth even remembers
<Brentai> Sadako vs. Jason
<leeham> WHAT THE FUCK

<Narrator> It didn't.

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Re: SHOCKtober

Postby Niku » Tue Oct 29, 2019 9:06 pm

28.) The Shining [Available to Rent/Purchase .. and .. streaming on Philo? Whatever the fuck that is?]
BWOM BWOM BWOM BWOM BWOM. Much like The Exorcist, if you've only come to know The Shining through osmosis and parody and The Shinning, you still owe it to yourself to watch the real deal. It opens with a sense of overwhelming dread (that soundtrack!), and very rarely lets up. If the actual "scares" of the movie lean a little too often toward a loud sting and a zoom cut on something spooky by the end of it, the overwhelming sense of things unraveling and everyone involved being powerless to stop it (even with the psychic child knowing something is coming!) is the real horror that permeates everything from the very beginning right through to the final push in.

If you're somehow completely unfamiliar with the actual plot beats of The Shining, it's pretty simple: family gets shut in at the remote hotel where the father works during a long winter storm, and then the patriarch slowly succumbs to madness. It's not the first time that's happened, and probably won't be the last. Half abuse parable, half spooky haunted house story, all fantastic. I rewatched this mostly in anticipation of the upcoming Doctor Sleep adaptation, and I'm hoping that movie manages to do right by the legacy of this one.

29.) Girls with Balls [Available on Netflix]
I mean, you know with a title like that you're in for something classy. Somewhat akin in tone and style to Tucker and Dale vs. Evil in its slapsticky approach to a "hillbillies in the woods" horror movie premise, Girls with Balls is a lean (barely 80 minutes, if that) story of a volleyball team breaking down in culty-murder-hick territory and getting menaced and fighting back. It lets you know what it is from the very beginning by opening with a singing cowboy (?!) breaking the fourth wall to detail that this movie is about hot girls getting killed before zipping over to title-carding each of the main characters during a volleyball match. The singing cowboy soon returns and then .. is mostly forgotten about. And that is this movie. It's kinda slipshod despite knowing what it wants to be, forgetting its characters and jokes for long stretches, and making some weird tonal choices throughout that holds the whole thing back. Here's an inappropriately timed sexy table dance! Here's a boy scout circle singing about Jesus in the middle of hillbilly hunting ground! It's intermittently funny enough, but I don't really recommend it. I mean, there's doggy AND kitty violence in it, so that's pretty poor form.

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Re: SHOCKtober

Postby Niku » Thu Oct 31, 2019 2:41 pm

30.) Sadako vs. Kayako [Available on Shudder]
because i don't learn. There are two good movies based on Koji Suzuki's The Ring; Ringu and its remake. Everything else is mediocre-to-garbage, BUT I'LL KEEP WATCHING THEM. This flick from a few years ago pulls the Freddy vs. Jason treatment by pitting everyone's favorite VHS-repping bakemono up against that gal with the grudge, Kayako Saeki (and her meowing little buddy-son Toshio). Now, you might wonder how two spooks who mostly menace and creep around but don't do a lot of active killing would be pit into a totally-pun-intended grudge-match against one another, and this movie is here to tell you ..

In the most ridiculously contrived but kind of weirdly sensible way possible?

I will say, this is way up on the "mediocre" list of Ring/Ju-on movies, and the Freddy vs. Jason comparison is pretty apt in a lot of ways. It is deeply silly, it makes random weird changes to the core mythologies to do what it wants to do, and it is fairly boring and rote when it comes to its human cast (aside from the psychic exorcist and his blind Pinoko-esque companion). But there's something really fun just the same about their solution to Sadako's vengeful curse latching itself onto someone being "well .. we just need to get you cursed by ANOTHER ghost who will kick your first ghost's ass, clearly".

31.) Gremlins 2: The New Batch [Available to Rent/Purchase] [Watched with Giant Bomb's Film and 40s commentary track]
Is Gremlins 2 a "scary" movie? Is it even a "horror" movie? No, not really. There's certainly some gore and splatter, especially of the monster variety, but Gremlins 2 is pretty much a full on comedy for 90% of its run time.

Is Gremlins 2 an absolutely perfect Halloween movie? Yes.

Is Gremlins 2 the most perfect movie literally ever made? Also yes.

If you have somehow never seen Gremlins 2: The New Batch or it's been a long time since you've seen it, it's easy to forget just how incredibly weird, wild, and legitimately well made it really is. People make fun of just how strange it gets and the choices it makes, but this is a movie that knows what those choices are every single step of the way. There is almost not a single wasted scene in this entire film, each one having at least some sly joke or commentary that will slide right by if you're not entirely in tune with what it's doing. And more than everything else, it is fun. It's macabre mostly as window dressing and mayhem, letting chaos and monstrousness run amok amok amok through a satire of retro-futurism (that still has plenty of satire in today's world, honestly) with a glee that to me encapsulates exactly what Halloween really should be. And "Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not, fun!, but by no means civilized" is the quote I probably find the most excuses to use in my life. Every single part of this movie has aged like a fine goddamn wine .. except for one cameo halfway through. And you can even get rid of that with the VHS version. So yeah. Perfect movie.

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Re: SHOCKtober

Postby Niku » Thu Oct 31, 2019 2:42 pm

also here, happy halloween

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Re: SHOCKtober

Postby Friday » Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:51 pm

I am deeply, nonsensically in love with Freddy vs Jason despite hating their respective franchises. I have no idea why, except it sparks the "kaiju fighting versus battle" inside me which I love beyond all reason.

So yeah I want to see Sadako get her ass kicked by Kayako now.

Also yes, Gremlins 2 is absolutely S tier quality.

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