Friday's Ultimate Vanity Project: 100 Games, 100 Reviews

[beatbandito]

And Radiata Stories was there too!

[Brantly B.]

That the characters in FF6 (besides the obviously extraneous ones like Umaro) have infinitely more personality than the largely interchangeable character models in Chrono Cross, Type-O, and Radiata Stories speaks to what FF6 does right.

And then you introduce the Esper system which genericizes the characters in-battle, and abruptly switch over to an open-world system that largely ignores the characters' individual personalities out-of-battle. And that speaks to how far FF6 goes stumbling off the path.

It's definitely a thing where the highs are high enough to outshine all the lows, though. Final Fantasy VI isn't a perfect video game and, hell, barely is a video game at times, but it's a story that's legitimately worth telling and those are not something you find a lot in this medium, where even the stories that are supposed to be good usually turn out to be rickety structure of cliches held together by forced memes.

[beatbandito]

That the characters in FF6 (besides the obviously extraneous ones like Umaro) have infinitely more personality than the largely interchangeable character models in ... Radiata Stories

The one good thing Radiata Stories has going for it (well, okay, other than the timeless story of a bad actor convincing humanity that they're better off fighting people that look different than them than worrying about the global issues people in power are causing which is leading to the end of existence) is that all 177 characters have lives and schedules to some extent. I'm not saying I could tell the difference between all the different goblin kids in Nuevo Village, but every single one of the 177 has some sort of development depending on the path and point in the story.

[MarsDragon]

FF Type-0 had almost as many playable characters as FF6 (12 to 6's 14), but there wasn't really much to them.

Chrono Cross's roster was huge; I'd say it felt closer to a Suikoden game than to FF6.

Suikoden has a much better idea of which characters are important than CC does. It's also generally better about giving people a reason to join you...okay, so sometimes that reason is "did a fetch quest for soap". I said "generally".

[Friday]

yeah I lost all faith in CC knowing who the fuck was a real character and who was a silly mascot character when the adorable alien grey turned out to be super plot relevant.

[Büge]

yeah I lost all faith in CC knowing who the fuck was a real character and who was a silly mascot character when the adorable alien grey turned out to be super plot relevant.

now you got me thinking about that skeleton clown whose bones you have to collect and, when you reassemble him, he turns out to be one of the crappiest characters, stats-wise.

[nosimpleway]

Skull: "I don't remember my name, you can just call me Skelly I guess."

*much later*

Skelly: "Grandma, I'm back!"
Grandma: "Skelly, is that you?"
Skelly: "Oh yeah, that is my name. Huh."

[Esperath]

76. Master of Orion 2 (PC)

I'm not the type of girl to sit down and enjoy a nice strategic game.

[Mongrel]

Uh.... is that for realsies or are you just having photoshop fun?

[nosimpleway]

yeah I lost all faith in CC knowing who the fuck was a real character and who was a silly mascot character when the adorable alien grey turned out to be super plot relevant.

Protagonist: plot-relevant in that he spends 90% of the game advancing the villains' evil plan.
Pretty Miracle Power X: "thpontaneouthly combuthted", otherwise not plot relevant.
Strawman Argument: not plot relevant
Australia Doesn't Exist Outside Of This Accent: remember when Marle was retconned out of reality in act 1 of Chrono Trigger? What if we made a whole game around that?
Protagonist's Vaguely Tsundere Girlfriend: not plot relevant
Humerus Clown: not plot relevant
Baby Dragon: despite the prevelence of dragons every damn where else, not plot relevant
Fiendlord Incognito: not plot relevant
Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars: plot relevant. Of all the subplots left on the cutting room floor, the glam rock concert stayed.
Some Schmuck with a Hero Medal: not plot relevant
What? MOOK is evolving!: not plot relevant, actually takes time and effort to develop
Power of Science: not plot relevant, but indirectly provides two other characters (neither of which are plot relevant either)
FisCHAman: plot relevant in that he provides a boat. In other words... his boat is more plot relevant than he is
Luchadore: not plot relevant
Not That Glenn: not really plot relevant but he can dual-wield the legendary sword that isn't Granleon so that's p cool
FisCHAman's Mom: even less relevant than her son
FisCHAman's Bratty Sister: not plot relevant
Plant Creature: not plot relevant
Woodland Sprite: not plot relevant
Surfer Doc: not plot relevant
Vegetable Swordsman: who?  no, not plot relevant
Doppelganger400: mandatory recruit, mechanically complex... not plot relevant
Pagliacci: plot relevant
Any of the Acacia Dragoons: The game would have only been clearer and easier to understand without them hopping up and down and demanding attention, but ultimately they are relevant to the plot as it is.
Blacksmiths Ripped My Flesh!: you need him to get equipment upgrades, and two of him to get the best stuff... but not plot relevant.
Artist Who Breaks Down From Electrical Problems: despite his intro cutscene taking like 20 minutes literally no one cares that he exists after it's over
Poor Guy's a Porre Spy: Oh, so he's the cook's incompetent assistant when you break into Viper Manor early on? Huh. Interesting. Does he actually matter, though? No, not at all.
There Are No Old, Bold Mycologists: not even remotely plot relevant
Little Alien Grey: surprise! Plot relevant.
Mërmäïd: plot relevant
What's Updoc: tragically not plot relevant
Butt-Ugly Stage Magician: quest-relevant that one time but not relevant to the plot in any way
Disco Shaman: plot relevant in that she has an infodump or two
Snake Girl: plot-relevant inasfar as any Macguffin is plot relevant, i.e. you could replace her with a shiny rock or a suitcase or whatever and it'd make no difference
Smurf Gordon Ramsey: plot-relevant inasfar as any threat to the MacGuffin is plot relevant, i.e. you could replace him with a swinging blade or trash compactor or whatever and it'd make no difference
Tifa with a Boob Window: not plot relevant
Yo Ho Ho: plot relevant
Loli Ayla: not plot relevant

[Friday]

Artist Who Breaks Down From Electrical Problems: despite his intro cutscene taking like 20 minutes literally no one cares that he exists after it's over

seeing this happen absolutely broke me

what the fuck was even

going on

[Esperath]

Uh.... is that for realsies or are you just having photoshop fun?

I mean, I changed the name from Zdrada to Friday, but that's it

[Friday]

17. Final Fantasy 4 (SNES)

If there's a golden standard for RPGs that isn't a DQ game, it's probably Final Fantasy 4.

Known here in the states as FF2, some of us have probably never played the real FF4. Unlike 6, which had no gameplay changes I'm aware of in the American version, 4 was released here in the states as "easytype" with greatly reduced complexity and difficulty. Gone were the items tailored to cure certain status effects, replaced by the cure-all "Heal" item and spell. Characters lost special abilities. Enemy difficulty (mostly speed) was vastly nerfed.

I'm not going to be reviewing that version of the game. It's the inferior version. Sure, it's easier and therefore a lot less stressful to play, but it turns the combat from strategic, tactical affairs where every turn matters to just another boring hit and heal snoozefest. The story and characters are just as good, of course, so I won't say easytype is a bad game. It's still great. But without that extra kick, it's probably more in-line with CT, which also lacks any interesting combat.

FF4 brought the RPG into the modern era in most American kids eyes. It blew everything else we had ever seen out of the water in terms of the graphics and ESPECIALLY the revolutionary ATB system, which added a sense of urgency and spice to every encounter. Sure, it's basically just turn based in disguise, but that disguise counts for a lot. Plus, it allowed some characters to be weaker but get more turns (Edge) than slower, more powerful characters (Cid) and also added a layer of tactics in spellcast timers, which could range from near instant (Bio) to quick (Baham) to why are you fucking casting this it takes forever and twice as much MP just cast Baham (Meteo). Cure 4 didn't heal for much more than Cure 3 and cost a ton more MP, but it cast nearly instantly, which as a healer is absolutely clutch at times.

You see how you can actually design RPG combat to be interesting? It's a fucking shame like 90% of all RPGs just wimp the fuck out on the combat.

In terms of story, FF4 was a new high watermark for character-driven, soap opera style plots. Unlike the vague "go kill the archfiend/dragon" plots of the past, FF4 is like a Manga serial, focusing on smaller stories and characters as the overall plot moves forward. And holy shit does this plot move forward. FF4 develops at an almost blisteringly fast pace, with characters joining, leaving, and exploding and dying near constantly. In fact, the only character to NEVER leave your party once they join is Edge, not counting our leading man Cecil. And most of them come back later after they leave, too.

The constantly rotating cast of characters combined with the fact that each character has a pre-defined role in combat (tank, healer, caster, useless bard) means that the devs could tailor the challenge precisely to what they KNEW you would have in your arsenal. Most RPGs allow massive customization to your party and character roles, and while this isn't a bad thing, it results in generalized, standard design. In FF4, they know you have a strong offensive caster, or not. They know you have a healer, or not. (You almost always have a healer, though.) This can even be used to thematic effect.

The final weapon you get as a Dark Knight has a high proc rate to just instantly kill the hit target. That's incredibly powerful. But for the most part (apart from some poor Ravens along the way) the weapon is useless as you climb Mt. Ordeals. But after changing class to a Paladin, suddenly your new holy sword absolutely destroys all the undead on the way back down. It's a clear signal delivered through gameplay: The Power of Darkness may be strong, but ultimately Light is better.

Tellah is another example. He's infamously locked at 90 MP (fun fact, every time he levels up, he actually gets weaker instead of stronger, to simulate him getting older) and cannot cast his most powerful spell, Meteo, even after he remembers it. But during his big scene, he casts it anyway (even after already going into the negatives of MP if you add up the cost of all the spells he casts first)... and dies for it. Again, story integrated into gameplay mechanics. You can't get that shit in Skyrim.

I've been talking about how the gameplay and the story are linked, and that's perfect, because FF4 really delivers on both fronts. It's not the best gameplay FF has ever gotten (Tactics, FF5) or the best experience/story (FF6) but it's amazingly strong on both counts. Both reinforce the other. Cecil's shifting role as a protector is made clear by him being a tanky Paladin. Rydia's relationship with her eidolons is clear because she is a Summoner. Edge being made of paper mache is made clear by the fact that if an enemy looks at him, he dies.

Do I recommend this game:
Absolutely I do. If you absolutely hate challenge of any kind, easytype is there, but know that you're intentionally removing everything even remotely good about the combat in favor of "mash attack, heal once in a while."

Gameplay: 9. Solid tactical choices and defined roles help make FF4 great in a way that FF6 could never hope to be.

Experience: 8.5. No Opera. Characters are better in 6, except Kain. Still, FF4 delivers.

[Niku]

Notably there is an adorable DS 3D remake of IV that is definitely not easy type; I’m not sure if it’s actually harder than SNES hard type or not, but I definitely remember eventually going “nuts to this, I’ll just get Homer Simpson I’m gonna play something less punishing” and not getting back to playing through the rest of the remake due to some boss wall (but not done Boss Wall).

[Thad]

The story and characters are just as good, of course,

Disagree. Woolsey did a decent enough job with the material he had, but he hadn't really learned how to work within the constraints of a truncated English script and Nintendo censorship yet. (EDIT: Woolsey wasn't involved in FF2US; the translation credits read "K Moriyama, K Okahisa, H Takahasi". My bad.) (EDIT 2: Woolsey was involved in FF2US; he did some review work on the translation. But he wasn't one of the primary translators.) FF3US does a fantastic job of expressing depth and nuance (though it still drops a lot of detail; in the Slattery translation, pretty much every line of dialogue is twice as long); FF2US misses a hell of a lot. (Does it even tell us that Cecil and Kain are orphans raised as brothers by the king?)

That the depth of the story and the characters manages to shine through despite all that is a minor miracle, but I'd still say FF2US is the most compromised localization in the entire series. (FF5 for the PS1 is a worse localization IMO, but it's also less complex to begin with; it doesn't lose as much in translation as FF2US does.)

so I won't say easytype is a bad game. It's still great. But without that extra kick, it's probably more in-line with CT, which also lacks any interesting combat.

I'd say the combo system makes CT's combat interesting. Not deep, exactly, but unique, or close to it. (Phantasy Star 4 had combos before CT did, but the system was a lot less refined.) It adds a layer of complexity and tradeoffs to the ATB system -- not just deciding whether you want your fighters to attack or to contribute support to a healing combo, but often waiting around for characters with different charge times.

CT's combat doesn't have the depth of some JRPGs', but it's engaging in its own way.

Do I recommend this game:
Absolutely I do.

But which version? That's the big problem with trying to play FF4 today. Not so much if you're trying to play it legally, as there's only one version that's for sale. But if you include emulation, there's the SNES original (US version or fan translation), the GBA version (includes some new content, including the ability to select your endgame party, but is kind of a buggy mess), the PSP version (the GBA version with new graphics; still a buggy mess), or...

Notably there is an adorable DS 3D remake of IV that is definitely not easy type; I’m not sure if it’s actually harder than SNES hard type or not, but I definitely remember eventually going “nuts to this, I’ll just get Homer Simpson I’m gonna play something less punishing” and not getting back to playing through the rest of the remake due to some boss wall (but not done Boss Wall).

And that's the version that's for sale on Steam, so if you're buying the game digitally, that's the version you're getting.

And it's a perfectly respectable choice, but comes with its own share of oddities -- most notably, it adds a system where characters can learn other characters' skills, which allows for a degree of customization, particularly on multiple playthroughs (because it also adds a New Game+). All that's strictly optional, though, and I expect the game plays pretty similarly to the original incarnation if you don't do any of that shit.

(And also the PS1 version exists I guess.)

[nosimpleway]

The DS/Steam version was intentionally put together as a middle finger to people who were used to the SNES versions. Relying on the same strategies that got you through before will get you murdered.

Also some monsters are powered up massively. If you run into three fire hounds in Zot and they all cast Blaze... time to reload from your last save. Double for the hounds in Babel. Triple for dragons on the moon. It's enough to make you cast your fists to the uncaring heavens and shout "WHYYYYYYYY?!"

You might be able to ignore the augment system, but giving Rosa Omnicast (spells that now target one ally/enemy can now hit the whole party) and Dualcast sure makes the game easier.

You can also hybridize Cecil with a bunch of Monk skills so that all enemies that do a plain attack hit him, for a quarter damage, and he counters every time with a knightsword hit (or Kick).

[Thad]

Thanks for the correction. Haven't played FF4DS since it was new and I think I stopped somewhere around the Giant of Babel.

I remember it being designed to give veterans new shit to do but I guess I'd forgotten just how much it was reworked.

[nosimpleway]

It doesn't help that the entire tutorial on augments is "try these out! See what happens!" and that's it.

So you might think "I'm not gonna augment this guy, he leaves and doesn't come back" but giving an augment to a character that leaves means they give you extras when they do.

So once you beat Astos and go back to see Edward, he gives you Bardsong. If you gave him an augment while he was with you, he also gives you Salve. If you gave him two augments, he also also gives you Hide, and suddenly the fights with Odin and Bahamut get much easier.

Nowhere ingame is this documented.

[Thad]

Yeah, augments either require a walkthrough or multiple playthroughs and that appears to be on purpose.

[Friday]

Specifically I'm recommending the original japanese release, so the fan translation for SNES. It's pretty shitty that you still can't get ahold of it legally, I just assumed you could by now.

Also, it helps if you turn the battle speed down a notch or two. Maxing that out is a given on easytype due to it just saving time, but monsters are a lot faster on hardtype and unless you have inhuman speed at inputting menu commands you will give them a ton of extra turns on fastest battle speed.

Your points about the translation stuff for easytype are well taken, I forgot that a bunch of stuff got cut.

For the record, I have never played this "augment" version which you can buy on Steam. I cannot comment on the gameplay there, but if all they did was crank up the difficulty I'm going to do a Friday rarity and say that's probably a bad move, FF4 was already hard enough.