DIRTY SANTA 2021: ULTRA GIFT INSTINCT

[hngkong]

Lastly is a very thoughtful mushroom grow kit. I have mentioned in #finalfight getting into mushroom cultivation possibly as a source of income. I'm still in the setup phase, so this will be my first yield. The process on these is a bit different from everything I've read, but it's already got growth.

The mushroom kit was why it took so long for me to send it! You mentioned it in #finalfight, I ordered it, and it just took SO LONG to arrive. During transit, I saw you had picked up mushroom growing stuff too, which was like damn, of course. I do hope you enjoy everything!

[Mothra]

Been busy with holiday biz, but I'm carving out time today like a christmas ham to bring you: Lyrai's dirty santa box that arrived weeks ago!



Seems innocuous enough...



Ooooo... I see a secret death star in there...



Removing the first strip of bubble wrap, I've uncovered what seems to be a pile of shattered legos!

I carefully funnel these legos into a separate box, and remove the final strip of bubble wrap...



A lot of strange and surreal artifacts up in here.



My first thought is that this is famous vtuber-turned-NFT-huckster Kizuna AI on left, with a mysterious guardian on the right. I asked one of my most anime-girl-obsessed friends and she responded with "I have no fucking idea"



Wh- j- SLIME?????



"Crazy Aaron's" "Thinking Putty"





Moving on, there are two pouches in here, both containing dice!

I actually ended up using these the next day, when I DMed for my nephews.









One of the d20's is now lodged in their dining room floor vent! This was a sign of a well-used, well-loved product.

Next up is... is uh...





Going to guess perhaps some kind of card holder??? The clamps have too much strength to be safely used on a phone.

Some research shows that it is in fact a Citadel Painting Handle, where you lock your specifically Warhammer 40K figure into this mechanism, and then on top of that there are two clips for maybe lifting the figure into the air when you paint the base?



Might come in handy as I continue doing more DM sessions with my nephews... definitely the most functional item in the Hearthdrop™.

Next up in the box is...



Real nice Spirited Away-themed Kuru Toga Advanced mechanical pencil! Even has a dial on the side to adjust the pressure.

I dig deeper...



A Star Trek pin I think!

I scope out the back...



It's from long-cancelled fuckbois The Penny Arcade Krew!

A google search reveals... that this is the insignia of Kris Straub's 2015 Starslip series! I do like Kris Straub, I can maybe use this in a future costume.

Next up is this weird-ass death star thing! I scope out the sides and the back, and it's wired!

I plug it in...



It's a bluetooth speaker! The quality is of course blown-out horsepiss but I actually need one of these for my kitchen, to steam podcasts through, so this is perfect.

Below that...



Ooooo, choice Midori envelopes!





Hell yeah!





AND Midori stationary! This is actually sorely-needed, because I have absolutely nothing of decent quality onto which to write letters to people.

I discreetly pull out an envelope and a sheet of stationary and write a letter for my dirty santa box...

Lastly, there's some more wonderful stationary, this one even better than the last:





Hard to quite see in the picture, but there's a subtle transition between colors, like a sunset.

Definitely my favorite part of the package!

I turn my attention back to the shattered lego blocks, and with a little detective work, I'm able to determine that I'm looking at the remains of resoundly-cancelled Blizzard favorites Shi Overwatch Genji and his Dragon Duel Playset, alongside known sex pest Omnic Crisis Bastion!



This is rapidly divided out into smaller bags, PDF instructions printed, and re-gifted to my nephews, who loved it. They now hate women like their new hero Hanzo!!!!!!

That leaves the best part of the package...



...The package itself! Which I quickly strip all identifying features off of, fill with my dirty santa content, re-label, and ship out.

Which is all say,

SENT

[beatbandito]

man all these people buying things for dirty santa are really gonna' get my match's hopes up

[Mongrel]

The arm thingies on the miniature holder are for holding parts in place which might not self-support until glued.

[Lyrai]

man all these people buying things for dirty santa are really gonna' get my match's hopes up

The stationary and pencil werne't bought. I know a vast amount of people on the internet, and a few were stationary nerds. When I asked them what exactly he meant, one of them chimed in with "Hey I got some extra shit kicking around that I bought and never used, give me your address."

Also Mothra only sending his now explains, a few things.

Also, my Dirty Santa gift was a wooden clock puzzle that I tried four times to get the picture to upload properly but it never worked.That said, mine was international, so I do not begrudge them for looking for a way to not deal with fucked shipping rates.

EDIT:

[Silversong]

I got a slightly-reused-looking box full of awesome from Mothra! I can't currently download the photos to post about them, will figure it out soon.

[Mongrel]

EDIT:

DAT ASS

[beatbandito]

I don't know how long to hold onto the identity veil, but usps said my package was attempt delivered on crimbus eve. I just checked again and is being held at, I'm guessing, a location near them for pickup.

[Büge]

Well, I got a heavy box with a brontogram scribed on it to hint at its origin and purpose. Incriminating information covered with a tasteful handkerchief.



And Minerva's butt.



Coming soon: what's inside(?)

[Silversong]

My gifts of goodness from Mothra! https://imgur.com/a/UoONbC5

[Mothra]

My gifts of goodness from Mothra! https://imgur.com/a/UoONbC5

The knit thing is a mug cozy, yeah.

Those rice paper things are prints that came with RaXephon DVDs.

The blue bandana is from the Donkey Kong-theme Magfest 2019,

[Büge]

So I started opening the box, and Oliver came over to help.






The customs manifest listed "cookies"... Were they cat cookies???

Let's find out together.



Savage Worlds, which I hear is a pretty good RPG system!



Oh hey, I actually have the first few issues of Squirrel Girl kickin' around in the closet longbox. This is much easier than debagging comics to read.



Fantasy books! "Tally the Witch" is apparently by, and about, a trans girl, which is awesome.



You can't see it, but this book is full of blank paper. I love those kinds.



nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana bat-zine



bookmarks?



And here we have the cookies. They appear to have suffered a little breakage on the way over, but they still seem good. I dunno what kind these are, but they're very delicate and taste like sugar and cinnamon!



A super-pamphlet.



Oooh, Bomberman! I enjoyed the SNES version.



A wabbit sticker. With a knife.



Yo Joe



Wakfu! I loved this show! I remember waiting eagerly for the fansubs to come online. That was...

a decade ago.



Some kinda plastic gubbins. I gotta keep these away from the cats.



Oho ho ho. So this is why the box was so heavy.




Minerva! Get out of that draft chaff!



Well, this was a lovely Dirty Santa gift. I can't wait to sort through th--



wait a sec



what on earth is



oh shit

[beatbandito]

Yay! The magic cards are everything that turned up after sending what I thought was all my cards to Mongrel, so they're mostly newer and hopefully some are of some value and not just clutter.

Molly, author of Tally the Witch, is/was a boards member and still shows up in #FF.

The cookies are snickerdoodles, which are in fact sugar cookies with cinnamon and rolled in cinnamon sugar. I was expecting them to arrive flat but not so mulched, should have put them in one of the magic boxes.

Oh, and the little figures that are boneheads. You line them up on opposing sides and press on the tabs on the back of the heads to try and knock the opponent's over.