CHAT DUMP (and Quotes)

[mharr]

Plus you also live in Scotland now, where I expect there's no best-before date on sheep-fucking jokes.

True. The neighbours on one side here are Welsh so it's like a filthy badminton match.

[Friday]

9:10 AM <Friday> listen let's hammer out vampire sex rules
9:10 AM <Friday> rule 1: do not talk about vampire sex
9:10 AM <Friday> rule 2: DO NOT talk about vampire sex
9:10 AM <Friday> rule 3: if this is your first vampire sex, you have to sex
9:11 AM <+Mazian> Absolutely NO sparkling in public
9:11 AM <Friday> rule 4: if someone says the safe word, taps out, the sex is OVER
9:11 AM <@Silversong> That's actually really hard these days Maz... nearly every makeup product has holographic shimmer.
9:11 AM <+Mazian> Because it's made by vampires, got it
9:12 AM <@Silversong> Made by vampires, for vampires, of vampires!
9:12 AM <Lady> No vampires were harmed in the testing of this product
9:20 AM <nosimpleway> Rule 5: vampire sex is unlikely to result in pregnancy, because they only come inside when invited

[Lottel]

Fuck

[Friday]

<nosimpleway> Took kiddo to the park to play, there was a birthday party there attended by probably two dozen families
<nosimpleway> drove home wondering if someone had come up with a collective noun for "milf", that sounds right up internet-humor alley
<JD> milves
<nosimpleway> Closest I've seen is "a PTA of milves" or "a harem of milves", neither of which seem right
<leeham> a minivan
<nosimpleway> see, that's already better
<leeham> a tupperware of milves
<eurobeatbandito> tell me, what do you feel with yer milven thighs??
<Brentai> Linguistically I think it would be msilf.
<Brentai> mmilf.
<Brentai> mmomilf
<leeham> nobody tosses a dilf
<Friday> massively multiplayer on top mother I'd like to grind
<leeham> three rings for the milven queens / seven for the dilf lords in their man-caves of stone / nine for mortal men going their own way / one for tfw no gf forever alone / in the land of Mordor where the frogs are gay

[Mongrel]

holy fuck, leeham

[Friday]

yeah it's not his most powerful thing he's ever said, which is also quoted in this thread, but it's damn close

[Romosome]

I've been thinking about that one a lot, actually.

Like just two days ago, my wife brings home a big bag of chips as kids rewards for good behavior. I immediately thought about the Frito Lay's strike going on and started feeling bad.

Then a little Romo popped on my shoulder wearing a hoodie and weird glasses. "Capitalism is more rigged than a carnival game, my dude. Taking it personally won't help the ring land on the bottle neck." Then he kickflipped onto the dinner table, yelled something like "be gay and eat the rich!" and then totally ate shit

This is the most proud a post has ever made me, I'm just reading this now. Rock on, my longtime friend. Be gay and eat the rich.

[Brantly B.]

I don't wanna.

[Friday]

<Kishi> Tanguy Ukelele... Why do I know that name
<Kishi> Oh, I downloaded a VGM cover album by them once.
<Kishi> Which includes Snake Eater.
<@Silversong> A tanguy is a shyguy who went to the beach

[Upthorn]

[2021-09-30 09:11:54] <lottel> https://twitter.com/evilhospital/status ... 1188255749
[2021-09-30 09:12:12] <lottel> I found Bisexula
[2021-09-30 09:12:22] <jortsbandito> wow it's Friday
[2021-09-30 09:12:25] <Lady> omg
[2021-09-30 09:12:36] <jortsbandito> Friday I think you need to finally change your avatar on the boards
[2021-09-30 09:12:36] <Lady> we need to get this shower curtain for her
[2021-09-30 09:12:52] <Upthorn> goddamn
[2021-09-30 09:13:29] <Friday> hahahahahaha
[2021-09-30 09:13:42] <Friday> but what does Castlevania taste like
[2021-09-30 09:13:47] <Friday> DONT SAY IT
[2021-09-30 09:13:50] <Lady> alucard's tears
[2021-09-30 09:13:56] <Upthorn> who needs they castlevussy ate?
[2021-09-30 09:14:34] <JD> castlevagina
[2021-09-30 09:14:53] <JD> I'm writing a doujin and the cover is just "Castlevagina" in the Castlevania font
[2021-09-30 09:15:04] <Kishi> Vagnia.
[2021-09-30 09:15:07] <Upthorn> yes, that was better, as well as not being a ref to a bad meme
[2021-09-30 09:15:28] <JD> Castlevagina: Meat in the Walls
[2021-09-30 09:15:39] <Lady> the walls are meat, technically
[2021-09-30 09:15:49] <Upthorn> so that's where the mysterious wall meat comes from

... 6 hours later ...

[2021-09-30 15:49:22] <MetalSlime> I found Friday's shower curtain https://twitter.com/evilhospital/status ... 1188255749
[2021-09-30 15:49:42] <Romosome> holy fuck
[2021-09-30 15:49:44] <Romosome> where did you even get this
[2021-09-30 15:50:06] <MetalSlime> Sometimes things just come my way at the right time
[2021-09-30 15:50:19] <hngkong> What does Castlevania taste like? Wall meat?
[2021-09-30 15:50:27] <hngkong> Or meaty walls?
[2021-09-30 15:50:32] <hngkong> Ok, I'm sorry.

[Friday]

hello i was told three times is a charm

3:53 PM <MetalSlime> #tell Friday Found a pic of your bathroom https://twitter.com/evilhospital/status ... 1188255749
3:53 PM <nyao> Sure.
3:55 PM <Upthorn> oh damn
3:55 PM <Upthorn> this already came up earlier
3:56 PM <Upthorn> I thought I was scrolled up
3:58 PM <MetalSlime> Oh so it was
3:59 PM <MetalSlime> Well it's so nice it can be experienced twice
3:59 PM <Upthorn> viewtopic.php?p=81819#p81819
3:59 PM → lottel joined
4:00 PM <Upthorn> hey lottel
4:00 PM <Upthorn> metalslime just rediscovered friday's shower curtain
4:00 PM <lottel> It tastes like wall meat
4:01 PM <hngkong> Goddamn, we all have a collective hivemind on dumb comments about wall meat.
4:01 PM <MetalSlime> Tied to pussy, Castlevania, and Friday
4:01 PM <Upthorn> She's trained us well

[Friday]

5:34 PM <Mr_Saturn> oh no
5:35 PM <Mr_Saturn> https://twitter.com/JasonSCampbell/stat ... 4931488770 i'm being threatened with a good time again
5:40 PM <PUNishedbandito> and I can't understand what the fuck this idiot is afraid of
5:41 PM <PUNishedbandito> he says "cyborgs" but describes at one point a pacemaker, and for most of it some kind of digitizing of memory?
5:41 PM <PUNishedbandito> uploading your brain out of your body is the #1 way to not be a cyborg
5:41 PM <PUNishedbandito> if you are a perfectly flesh human, you could become a cyborg
5:41 PM <PUNishedbandito> an uploaded consciousness really can't
5:41 PM <PUNishedbandito> at least, it would have to be a lot more brutal
5:42 PM <Mr_Saturn> PUNishedbandito: he heard the word "trans" and shit himself
5:42 PM <PUNishedbandito> someone send him Bicentennial Man and say it's the liberal agenda

[Friday]

<nyao> Just to give you my office supplies.
<PUNishedbandito> nyao can... talk?
<Upthorn> only to give you its office supplies.

[Friday]

<@Silversong> We're having an event in a couple weeks that just came together, on "Trauma-informed policing"
<@Silversong> and I was really disappointed to read the description and it's about the _cops'_ trauma
<Yoji> the poor darlings. Thoughts and prayers or whatever
<Brentai> There's probably a lot of xhildhpod trauma involved.
<Brentai> Jesus, keyboard.
<@Silversong> file that typo away, that's a good sci-fi word
<Brentai> Anyway yeah the police are victims of xhildhpod experimentation.
<Brentai> I think that's how George Lucas names things.
<Brentai> Just type a character description into a shitty keyboard.
<Brentai> Handsome solo hit is a focus member of the pirate dockets gold and he jettisoned his cargo in front of Boss Day so now he's on the run on his Super Fast Bird.
<Brentai> Boss Day thinks he's going to catch Handsome Zhou by taking up with the Evil Empire and take back the Super Fast Bird.
<Brentai> Handsome Zhou partners up with Old Crush and his young apprentice Cute Daydreamer to take off in the Story Day Bird with his color, Not Fairy Alien.
<Brentai> Along the way Handsome Zhou and Cute Daydreamer are menaced by the f cool Dark a invader.
<Brentai> Eventually Darka Invader has a laser xhildhpod with his old risk Old Crush and kills it. Cute Daydreamer is crushed.
<Brentai> They take the recharged Process McGuffjn and join her faction of Alert Rebels.
<Brentai> Soon Darky Invader brings about his ultimate speaking, the Big Part, to destroy the Alert Rebels base on Jungle Planet.
<Brentai> WILL Handsome Zhou and Cute Daydreamer save Prices McGriffin grill the Big Part? FIND OUT! In STORAGE HASSLE.

[Friday]

<leeham> we've known since at least FF6 that sex is canon in the world of final fantasy
<leeham> the enchanting fantasy vision of a world where sex is real
<Kishi> FFVI only admits that you can make a baby if two people twirl around each other in a black void and trail two sparkles that join together.
<Brentai> Right, that's what lee said.
<leeham> listen, they may not have had a clear idea of what the process actually entails, but whatever is going on in that scene is definitely sex, whatever that might be
<leeham> as early as FF4 there were hints that something like sex might exist, such as the idea that one could have a particular friend with whom one can share a unique hugging sprite, but it took until FF6 to have two NPCs in beds that are placed next to each other so it looks like they're both sharing one bed
<Kishi> Games were progressing so fast back then.
<leeham> frankly, I've yet to see a BioWare sex scene that is as candid and mature a depiction of human sexuality as a scene where a tiny pixel dancer twirls around you until you fall asleep and wake up with PIGGY status

[Friday]

<Lady> Romosome , as soon as it's convenient, I need to hear you saying "what are all these paLOOkas doing in my Past-uh" in the worst ameritalo mom impression you can conjure up
<Lady> Because I need to hear it otherwise it'll never get out of my head
<Sede> *Lady waits anxiously with her finger over the record button for her new ringtone*

[Friday]

<Juniper> Also what's the deal with not being able to PCI-E to USB 3.x
<Juniper> Guess Crypto is to blame for that again?
<Juniper> 'cause all we see on amazon is, like, "mining risers" when it comes to PCI-E expandability
<Juniper> Where did technology lose it's way
<sede> December 31, 1999!

[Friday]

3:20 PM <Friday> Romo
3:20 PM <Friday> I just finished an hour long conversation with my mom about Socialism
3:20 PM <Friday> please help me to wind down by Dorfin' fools
3:20 PM <Friday> I demand fools be Dorf'd
3:21 PM <Sede> i'd listen to that podcast
3:21 PM <Romosome> oh no
3:21 PM <Friday> which podcast? fools gettin' dorf'd, or my discussion with my mom about socialism
3:22 PM <Friday> you probably don't want the latter
3:22 PM <Friday> former?
3:22 PM <Friday> i can never keep that straight
3:22 PM <Sede> why not both~ thats what twitch is
3:22 PM <Friday> the socialism one
3:22 PM <Friday> In the end I did get her to admit that socialism "sounds pretty good"
3:22 PM <Friday> she's not even a conservative, just a blue dog
3:24 PM <Sede> i love those conservatives that find out what it actually is and are like "These things all sound pretty QOL+ and altogether pleasant to have.. i can see how tempted people could be to be tricked into it"
3:25 PM <Sede> 'fortunately for me, i know that the word socialism itself simply means bad'
3:25 PM <Friday> yeah
3:25 PM <Friday> it's the concept/word that is demonized
3:26 PM <Friday> they don't care what it actually means/is
3:27 PM <Friday> I do that with "feminism" with some lefties sometimes
3:27 PM <Friday> since that word is absolutely dripping with the poison that Rush Limbaugh injected it with
3:27 PM <Friday> and others too, but yes mostly Rush
3:27 PM <Friday> So people (lefties, even) will say things like "I'm neutral about feminism"
3:27 PM <Friday> and I'm like
3:28 PM <Friday> okay
3:28 PM <Friday> bro
3:28 PM <hngkong> My mom was fairly progressive, but the last couple of months she's been caring for her TURBO Conservative Q sister, and when we talked last, she started saying stuff I know that she was against just months ago.
3:28 PM <Sede> yikes
3:28 PM <Friday> Well they say you're an amalgamation of the 5 people you spend the most time with
3:28 PM <Friday> which means I'm 1/5th Mongrel
3:28 PM <Friday> and in fact
3:28 PM <Friday> we are all
3:28 PM <Friday> 1/5th Mongrel
3:28 PM <hngkong> Oh god.
3:28 PM <hngkong> OH GOD.

[nosimpleway]

So I'm 1/5th the Jackbox group as a collective, 1/5 three years old, and 1/5... uh...

*stares off into the middle distance*

[Mongrel]