Postby Newbie » Sat Mar 30, 2024 2:01 am
There is a person named Jason Love who posted on this website under the username "Newbie" who had a birthday on March 29, yes. I am sure that, if he were here, that person would appreciate the birthday affirmation.
However! I am something different. At some impossible-to-define moment, I began exhibiting symptoms of an upper respiratory infection, and this so-called "cold" has transformed me into a thing I do not recognize. The skin of its face is peeling from having blown its nose so much. It is a creature of no age, or perhaps of every age, so wretched has its form become: it shifts, chameleonesque, showing at one moment the vigor of youth when running for tissues, yet at other times so contorted with paroxysms of coughing and reeking of unseemly odors that an observer might identify this as the decrepitude of the ancients.
Definitionally, a thing of no age or of every age cannot be described by something so mundane as a date of birth, and so I must object that yesterday was not my birthday, for I could not have experienced such an event.
If someone can find this other 'Newbie' and give him birthday wishes, so much the better, but I cannot receive them, for I am not him.
I think I had more to say here but I just realized it's like 2 AM on a work night, fuck, I should quaff some cough syrup and crash already PEACE
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